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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

One Letter Makes Things More Gay

While I get my butt in gear to write about seeing "The Green Hornet," and my comic books from last week, and maybe a couple of weird dreams involving people I've played softball with in the last few years, I thought I'd share this bit of inspiration.

Last week, when I was having lunch with my friend Kurt, I came up with the idea that all words starting with "ga" should automatically have a "y" after the "a" to make them more gay. It's not an original idea. I'm sure you've seen events referred to as "gayla" instead of "gala" parties. I'm just suggesting we expand it as much as possible. Like "gayllop" instead of "gallop." Or "gaysoline" instead of "gasoline."

Think about it. Wouldn't you feel just a little better if you had gayllstones instead of gallstones? Or enjoyed some delicious gayrlic bread with a meal at an Italian restaurant? And we could extend this to names -- whether names of people (Gaybriel) or places (Gaylveston.) It would be easy for anyone named Gail or Gale, since they'd just have to change the spelling to Gayle, which already exists. Imagine going to the market to buy a gayllon of milk, or hitting the casino to gaymble. And perhaps the ultimate use of my new rule: it would be extra special for the students, alumni and fans of the University of South Carolina -- the Gaymecocks!

Write your member of Congress if you agree with me. Let's gaylvanize our resources and gayther our forces to gayn a great victory!

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