Remember when Sports Illustrated kept sending me issues of their magazine even after my subscription expired? Then they sent me the Swimsuit Issue? THIS Swimsuit Issue...
...which they clearly sent me because they wanted to convert me to heterosexuality? Remember how I wrote that they couldn't just send me the issue because it would be too obvious, that they had to keep sending me issues weekly before the week of the Swimsuit Issue to make it look like they mistakenly forgot to stop sending me the magazine?
Well, I now have absolute proof that my theory is correct: since the Swimsuit Issue there have been three more issues of Sports Illustrated, including the newest one (cover date: March 7) and I haven't received any of them.
The verdict: guilty! Sports Illustrated, only the fact that the print industry is in such terrible -- possibly terminal -- condition keeps this court from handing down a harsh sentence. As this is a merciful court, I'm letting you off with a warning. THIS time.