Where's this new Twitter everyone's going on about? I still have the old one. Don't you know who I am? I must insist that you provide me with this new Twitter immediately. But only if you've got the bugs worked out of it. I don't want a Twitter that has problems. The current Twitter works reasonably well, when it's not "over capacity." So give me the new Twitter but, to quote the legendary RuPaul, "Don't f--k it up!"
Oh, and one other thing: you want me to follow these people? Oh, hell no!
Sincerely, Joe
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