Help out a poor struggling artist!

I stumbled upon this ad on Craigslist.

Attention CLUB OWNERS...

Vanilla ICE now taking dates for Club performances or Meet and Greets..

Interested?? contact us...

PLEASE HAVE A BUDGET BEFORE YOU CALL US...

Serious only

Yeah, okay. Here's the budget: pay me and I'll let you perform in my club. And in case you ever make a record again, don't steal any more songs!