My Week In TV - 9/28/14

Remember how I used to post about which comic books I bought every week, with comments about each book (or comics in general, or whatever else I decided was sort of related to them)? Well, I don't buy nearly as many comics as I used to (go back and read about my issues with the DC comics reboot that led to Superman's using his baby blanket as a cape). So, I thought I'd try something new: commentary on the TV shows I watch each week.

This is in part inspired by what a big week this was for my personal TV viewing, which I will get to. First, though, this won't be about my regular Monday-through-Friday shows -- consisting of the brilliant Keith Olbermann on ESPN2 and, of course, TMZ -- unless something in particular during those shows that I think needs attention. Nor will this be about telecasts of sporting events, again unless I feel it's warranted. So we'll start with the programs that aired between September 21 and 28. (I didn't necessarily watch them in their time slot. I usually DVR everything and skip through the commercials. Also, I hope future posts won't be as long as this one is turning out to be.)

Last Monday started with, thanks to the magic of DVR, two episodes of The Big Bang Theory on CBS, the two-hour third-season finale of Dallas on TNT and the premiere of the new series Gotham on Fox.

Big Bang has been on so long now that I'm sort of waiting for the dropoff in quality. Not sure it's happened yet, because they've been able to have the characters grow out of their established personas. It's very slow, but just enough (such as Raj finally being able to talk to women without alcohol) to keep them interesting. So we'll see. (Note: it's on Monday for a few weeks due to CBS showing some NFL games on Thursdays.)

The Dallas reboot has been surprising since the start. Although ostensibly starring the sons of J.R. and Bobby Ewing, so much of the show has featured the old cast, and killing off J.R. (necessitated as it was by Larry Hagman's passing) led to some of the best television of 2013. Season three ended with a shocking death, although the shock was lessened by the fact that it happened at the very end of the episode and was hyped by TNT: "One...Ewing...Will...Die." Better to kill the character in the middle so it's truly unexpected.

I had tremendous expectations for Gotham, the Batman series without Batman.

Boycott the NFL? What Says Lurie? Philly Media Asleep?

I've been increasingly disgusted with the NFL lately. Although I love football, the NFL and I have issues, such as their overreaction in stadium security which won't let me carry my little drawstring bag* with my phone charger, reading material for the subway/El, etc. into the Linc -- if I even actually got an Eagles ticket, which I can't afford anyway. And their claim that they want to make the game safer and reduce or prevent serious injuries, particularly head injuries, is completely at cross-purposes with their insistence that there be weekly Thursday night games, as well as their consideration of future expansion of the regular season from 16 to 18 games.

But that's nothing compared to the initial outrage over the pathetic two-game suspension originally given Ray Rice by commissioner Roger Goodell, and the league's response to the punishment's total inadequacy (especially when compared with longer bans given players who committed the horrible crime of smoking pot), followed by the responses of Goodell, the NFL and the Baltimore Ravens once TMZ acquired the video of Rice viciously punching his then-fiancee, now-wife in the elevator at the newly-defunct Revel Casino in Atlantic City, followed by the league's totally inadequate responses to domestic violence caused by other players (you MUST read this).

And on top of all that came the news that Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings was charged with child abuse, after beating his four-year-old son with a tree branch until the child bled. For those who somehow think there's nothing wrong with such discipline, think about it. Pause on these words, stare at them for a minute or two until it sinks in: HE BEAT HIS CHILD AND DREW BLOOD. HE MADE A FOUR-YEAR-OLD BLEED!

That was followed by the Vikings' flip-flops on whether he should be allowed to play, deactivating him for one game, then announcing that he would be reinstated, then reversing course after team and league sponsors began distancing themselves from this mess.

And then came today (technically yesterday, since this won't be finished until after midnight).

Bieber vs. Brown

I think we need to set up this cage match: Chris Brown and Justin Bieber: two "men" enter, one "man" leaves. Who's your money on? Check the videos at each of those TMZ links and decide for yourself. Bad language on both videos. Imagine little Justin Bieber dropping f-bombs. For shame!

A Tale Of Two Justins

Dear Justin Bieber,

It's quite simple: if you don't like being compared to Justin Timberlake...



...why would you sing a Timberlake song in concert?



Please go away,
Sincerely,

Joe in Philly

P.S. Sorry to hear about your recent breakup with Selena Gomez. If you need to talk, I know a guy who'd love to listen.

P.P.S. It's not me. Good grief, no.

My TV Schedule (And Two Gay Nays)

In the past I've talked about how I decide whether or not to watch a new TV show -- basically, I need something to pique my interest in it, or else I just happen to watch on a whim. So with the new fall TV season under way, I thought I'd update you on what I'm currently watching (or considering watching, or tried to watch). There have been a few changes in my schedule.

SUNDAY: I've still got "The Simpsons" (which, let's face it, at this point I'll never stop watching) and "Family Guy" (which I can't quite get rid of). With "Desperate Housewives" gone, though, I don't have another Sunday night show. I'm considering trying "666 Park Avenue," only because Vanessa Williams moved from Wisteria Lane to this address. Apparently (as you can guess from the number) there are devilish doings going on. I'll try it.

MONDAY: It used to be a quiet night until Fox moved "Bones" here. I also sampled the debut of "Partners," one of the two new shows with heavy gay content. It co-stars Michael Urie, one of my faves from "Ugly Betty," which is why I watched it. Urie's character is gay and his best friend (played by David Krumholtz) is straight. Their significant others are Brandon "I'm no longer Superman" Routh and Sophia Bush, respectively. I may watch another episode because I really like Urie, but I think they'd be better off if they ditched the truly dull Krumholtz and Routh entirely, and maybe Bush as well.

TUESDAY: At least "Partners" isn't the other big gay sitcom, "The New Normal."

Foster The People!

It seems that Foster The People is playing the Mann Center in June. I think I need to see the concert. Who's going with me?

If you checked out my "2011 in music" post you know that their album "Torches" was one of just four 2011 albums I own. And I wasn't planning on buying it, even though I had heard and liked "Pumped Up Kicks." Then one of the TMZ people I follow on Twitter posted a link to the song "Houdini" on his Tumblr page. (By the way, does anyone think I really need a Tumblr page of my own?) Once I heard it, I knew I was buying the album. And although it's really, really, really early in the year, every track is at the top of my most-played in Tunes since I reset the count.

"Houdini" is currently, and surprisingly, at number two. Here's their performance from the "Live on Letterman" concert:



If you prefer, their "Saturday Night Live" rendition...with special guest Kenny G????



But which song is at number one? That would be "Call It What You Want." Here's the music video:

Dear Charlie Sheen: GO AWAY.

Whatever Charlie Sheen is trying to prove, appearing on at least four different TV shows as well as TMZ.com today and tomorrow, it's not doing anything except pissing me off. Between mentions on Twitter and Facebook and about a hundred blog posts on EW.com -- for once, Entertainment Weekly's abbreviation is apt, and would be even more on target if the magazine were renamed Entertainment World Weekly -- I'm completely sick of him and his story. Apparently he's passed a drug test, which would seem to discount my theory that he didn't spend nearly enough time in rehab. If he is clean, though, then I can't help but wonder if he may have some mental health-related issues. In either case, someone who truly cares about him (in other words, someone besides the porn stars and others clearly latching onto him for money or fame) needs to get him help.

And if he doesn't have those issues, then he's just acting like a complete jackass, and should be ashamed -- as should the TV "news" shows giving him their time. Charlie, take your porn stars/hookers/whatever and GO AWAY.

My Relationship With Sports?

I'm in a weird place lately when it comes to sports. I've been thinking that I haven't done many sports-related posts lately. Actually, other than during the NFL playoffs, I've hardly blogged specifically on sports at all. I've had passing comments in my MixBlog posts, but very few posts on one sports-related topic. It's not like I've lost interest in sports. I'm still reading the sports section of the Daily News every day, I still read things online, I still put games on TV, etc. I'm just not blogging about sports. I'm not entirely sure why, but I have a theory or two.

Part of it is due to Twitter and Facebook...and, going back further, to message boards such as the one at Outsports and the old Usenet newsgroups. I've always found it easier to make a quick comment on a game or some team-related news (Twitter and Facebook are all about brief comments -- 140 characters or less in Twitter's case) than to do a long analytical post. Lately, that seems to be the case even more. For example, after the Super Bowl I've been thinking about the Eagles and their failures as an organization compared to the Steelers...and then Pittsburgh had to go and ruin things by losing to Green Bay. Although the points floating around in my head are still valid, I haven't been inspired enough to sit down and put it together.

(And, of course, the impending owners' lockout of the NFL players -- they have one week to miraculously settle their differences -- has a lot of personnel moves, through free agency -- on hold.)

The Flyers, on the other hand, are doing almost everything right. They're tops in the Eastern Conference and seem primed for another long playoff run. So maybe I'm just waiting for the postseason. This leads to another issue. I still find myself not watching hockey games from start to finish. Take tonight. The game began at 7 pm and I was still running through my Twitter and Facebook timelines until about 7:30 pm. Then I got away from the computer and started watching the game. When the first period ended, I watched

Sports Illustrated Tries To Convert Me!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am here today to prove that Sports Illustrated magazine is a front for a secret ultra-right organization seeking to cure gays of their heterosexuality.

Here are the facts:

• In late December 2010 I used some USAirways Dividend Miles for a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated.
• That subscription's expiration date was January 2011.
• In early January a wraparound attached to the magazine stated: "LAST ISSUE ALERT!" asking me to renew my subscription.
• I did not renew my subscription. See label:

• I have received a new issue of Sports Illustrated in my mailbox each week this month, which is February 2011, not January 2011.
• Today, I received this issue in my mailbox:

Videos: Wonder Woman, Darren Criss

Thought I'd share a couple of videos. They can't be any more different, but both are worth watching.

The first is from Funny or Die. "A Date with Diana" completely besmirches the good name and reputation of Wonder Woman, and is hysterical. It was written and directed by Matthew Cole Weiss, who works on the TMZ television show. (I have to admit I'm a little smitten, seeing him on the show every night.)

A Date with Diana from Maggie Lawson

The other is a Rolling Stone interview with the adorable Darren Criss (pictured above), who plays Blaine on "Glee." He answers everything in song, playing his guitar.

More Random TV Talk

Four more "singers" have been voted off the "American Idol" island. They won't be missed. Simon Cowell will be missed. His commentary is about the only thing keeping me watching. I suppose I should be shallow and say I enjoy contestant Tim Urban's shirtless picture. Perhaps if he showed some skin on the show he can hang around a few weeks more.

Meanwhile, tonight we were force-fed an appearance by Danny Gokey. He sang, which was bad enough (though, since I record it each week and fast-forward through the commercials, I also was able to forward past the song). Then he had to not only pimp his late wife (again), but also the fact that the song he sang was written by someone whose wife also died. I got this from Entertainment Weekly, and I'll probably have to say it until the day I die: put the GO in Gokey!

Thank goodness for the DVR. I also fast-forward through the filmed packages for each wannabe such as this week's inane "Something that America would be surprised to learn about me is..." followed by a totally unsurprising (and usually uninteresting) fact. Here's a clue, wannabes (and show's producers): no one's heard of any of you before this. I don't know ANYTHING about you. And unless you're going to talk about your nights at the local sex club either riding the sling or on your knees at the "milking station," I don't care.

Meanwhile, last week I worried that "Desperate Housewives" was hinting that Katherine would go lesbian with the stripper. I so hoped they wouldn't go there. They went there. Plus, apparently (suddenly) the gay couple on the block throw big parties all the time, but also (again, suddenly) are trying to adopt a baby. And Susan was an idiot (as usual). I seriously think I'm tiring of this show. The only question is, should I stick it out until John Barrowman arrives in April to do whatever he's doing that will lead to the end of the stupid Bolen mystery and Drea de Matteo's leaving the show?

If I stop watching both "DH" and "Idol," and with "Ugly Betty" ending next month, I won't have many shows to watch on the "big four" networks -- "The Simpsons," "Family Guy," and "Bones." I'm sticking with "The Amazing Race" at least as long as Steve Smith is still on. On cable, there's also "RuPaul's Drag Race" and "Be Good Johnny Weir" but there aren't too many episodes of those shows so they won't be on much longer. "Mad Men" and "Robot Chicken" are in between seasons. I've been watching "Southland" since it moved to TNT. They've got some new episodes now, so we'll see if TNT wants to continue running it. I like it but I'm not sure I love it yet. Oh, and I musn't forget my daily dose of TMZ.

I know there are a lot of shows that are popular and/or critically acclaimed, but as I've said before, something needs to hook me in order for me to even try to watch. So if I've got some more empty time slots in the coming weeks I doubt they'll be filled by other shows.

On Tiger...and a TMZ guy (Bonus: they're shirtless)

I see and hear comments that people are tired of hearing about Tiger Woods and his big scandal. I'm not tired of it at all, surprisingly. I'm fascinated by it. I don't care so much about why he cheated on his wife because that's sadly commonplace, especially with men -- and especially with rich and famous and handsome men -- but why did he cheat with so many cocktail waitresses and wannabe "reality" TV skanks and "hostesses" and, if what's been reported is true, at least one porn actress? He's Tiger Woods. Can't he afford to find a higher quality of woman?

On the TMZ show the other day one of the TMZ people accidentally came up with a great word to describe the women Tiger's cheated on his wife with: "affairesses." That sounds so much better than "mistresses." They're having so much fun with Tiger on that show it's almost criminal. (Speaking of TMZ...the guy sitting on the car is Max, the guy who came up with "affairesses," if I recall correctly. He is a total surfer/valley boy type, which can be annoying normally, but he says such off-the-wall things sometimes that I kind of have a minor crush on him.)

Back to Tiger Woods. Now that the cat is out of the bag that he's a slut, I wonder if he's going to try and stay married or live openly as a man-whore? Either way his wife is going to get seriously paid -- whether it's in alimony or in "forgive me" gifts, following the strategy Kobe Bryant used on his wife after that little "incident" in Colorado.

And one other obvious point: this is more proof that the institution of marriage is in such pathetic shape that allowing same-sex couples to marry can only make it better, not worse. The ultra-right scum and ultra-religious freaks will never agree publicly, but deep down in their twisted hearts I think they know it's true.

Jon And Shane Plus...?

As if the mohawk wasn't bad enough, Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino is now showing questionable taste in celebrity friends. TMZ.com reports that bad dad Jon Gosselin has flown to Hawaii to attend Victorino's wedding this weekend. Why, Shane, Why? Aren't there any MMA fighters you could invite instead? Hell, even if you invited A-Rod and his latest skank Kate Hudson it would be almost understandable...

Good for K-Fed...'cept for the reality TV crapfest...

K-Well Fed is going to try and slim down! Kevin Federline is going to appear on the next edition of VH1's "Celebrity Fit Club," reports TMZ. I'm not sure why he doesn't just hire a trainer and chef, with all the money he got from Britney for watching their kids during her tour -- in other words, doing what a father's supposed to do anyway.

Wait, I take that back. Of course I know why he's going on a reality TV show. Like all has-beens and never-really-weres (guess which category he belongs to!) he's doing it for the money, and to feed his enormous...ego. And hey, TMZ says he'll be doing it with his ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson, mother of his two non-Spears offspring. And both will be joined by Bobby Brown, who apparently reacted to the comeback of his ex, Whitney Houston, by eating everything in sight.

K-Fed photos from TMZ...not for the faint of heart.

Chris Brown: a dead woman waiting to happen?

Assuming she isn't foolish enough to ever get back with him, Rihanna may have gotten away from Chris Brown just in time. The L.A. Times reports that, according to a probation officer's report filed with the court, Brown was involved in two incidents "related to domestic violence" with Rihanna before his February attack on her the day of the Grammy awards. Neither incident was reported to the authorities.

From the Times:

The first of those incidents occurred in Europe about three months earlier, when Brown and Rihanna were in a “verbal dispute,” the report said. She slapped him, and Brown responded by shoving her into a wall, the report stated.

Just three weeks before the February incident, Brown and Rihanna were in Barbados, driving a Range Rover lent them by a local dealership, when they had an argument in the car. Brown got out and broke both the driver's and front passenger side windows, according to the report. No one was injured.

Brown was sentenced today to five years' probation and 180 days of community labor. TMZ posted the officer's report from the night of the attack, and also reports that, according to probation records, Brown wanted to plead guilty immediately and begin counseling before he started his probation, but his lawyer wouldn't let him...

Brown said when he was growing up he saw violence in his own household and didn't want to "carry on that cycle."

Brown told the probation people he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and wanted to "do it right."

Let's hope so, for the sake of all the women who give him a chance in the future.

The $10,000 dog

This is too good not to share. Former major league baseball star Lenny Dykstra, who was touted as a financial whiz but turned out to be much less of a genius than advertised, listed his German shepherd, valued at $10,000, as one of his assets in his recent bankruptcy filing.

In June, on Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel, the former Phillies centerfielder showed a photo of a dog, and said he planned to buy it for $10,000.

"That's a world champion," he said. "That's the only dog I'll buy."

I wonder what the dog's resale value would be?

K-Fed more like K-Well-Fed

This is what not being married to Britney Spears does to you? I've seen some footage on TMZ of a bulked-up Kevin Federline but it seems to be getting worse. I guess he's not going back to ahis old career as a dancer any time soon. Before and after:

Manscaping?

TMZ makes a big deal out of the amount of hair on "Entourage" star Adrian Grenier's back in the pictures shown here, and they also make it sound like he's fat: "Adrian Grenier showed off his unworked out body and hairy backside in Miami yesterday." Looks to me like he's in fine shape -- he may not have six-pack abs, but considering the angle at which the picture was taken and the way he's standing, perhaps that's just an unflattering photo -- and there's not that much back hair. The fact that he's wet makes the hair stand out.

Still, the caption-writer makes a good point about the "Hollywood gym & manscaping culture." The natural look is much, much better on a man.

ESPN reporter victim of hetero pervert

We constantly hear blathering from right-wing nuts and other assorted homophobes about the behavior of gays, but they and everyone else need to keep one thing in mind: most people are heterosexual, and quite a few of them are perverts.

For example: ESPN reporter Erin Andrews recently became the victim of one such sleazebag. Someone secretly videotaped her as she was naked in her hotel room. The video was posted to various websites, including YouTube. Her lawyer and ESPN got the sites to remove it, but hackers are using the hype to spread computer viruses and malware. The creep is now reportedly trying to sell the video. The worst part is that so far, no one even knows where or when the invasion of privacy took place.

Is there any doubt in anyone's mind that the perpetrator of this crime is a heterosexual male? Come on. How many lesbians would drill a small hole into a hotel room from an adjoining room and use a spy cam to film a naked woman? Yet it's homosexuality that's immoral? Does anyone really think that preventing same-sex marriage would have stopped this particular act, or any of the many similar acts by other straight people?

On the Michael Jackson circus

So Jermaine Jackson has moved up to second place on the list of most successful living Jackson sibling recording artists...

Yes, very snarky. I know. You may not want to congratulate him on this if you meet him in person in the near future.

If you're sick and tired of hearing about anything related to Michael Jackson, I apologize for contributing to the barrage. And a barrage it is. Between the radio stations playing his music, the TV networks' coverage, the Internet, the stories continue to pile up as the questions continue to swirl -- about his death, his family, his finances, his music, etc.

Just in the last two days (these are between 12:01 am Sunday morning and 8 pm tonight), Entertainment Weekly's various blogs contain the following Jackson-related posts:

• SMITH magazine asks readers to sum up Jackson's life in six words -- can you do it?
• Jamie Foxx does the Moonwalk at the BET Awards: Fitting tribute?
• Michael Jackson-themed 'American Idol' repeats tonight: Set your DVRs!
• Huey Lewis remembers recording 'We Are the World' alongside Michael Jackson
• Michael Jackson in 'Captain EO': A fellow dancer remembers
• TV Ratings: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett continue to dominate with viewers
• Michael Jackson's final rehearsal: 'He was at his best,' says associate choreographer
• Michael Jackson: LAPD interviews personal physician; second autopsy reportedly completed
• Jackson's former nanny talks about singer's drug use
• Janet Jackson appears at BET Awards
• Michael Jackson: Doctor's lawyer says singer was not injected with Demerol
• Michael Jackson's mother granted temporary custody of his children
• Joe Jackson: 'We're the parents. This is where they belong.'
• Michael Jackson radio play rises an astounding 1,735 percent

And people are crawling out of the woodwork to worm their way into the spotlight. From the aforementioned ex-nanny, to the lawyer who used to work for Jackson making statements on TV shows about Michael's drug usage like "I said one day we're going to have this experience. And when Anna Nicole Smith passed away, I said we cannot have this kind of thing with Michael Jackson...The result was I warned everyone, and lo and behold, here we are," to Al Sharpton, to Flavor Flav (TMZ has shown him on two occasions, including this one, showing up outside the Jackson estate in Encino and leaving a message for Katherine Jackson through the intercom).

I think the biggest weasel, though, has to be Joe Jackson. We haven't heard anything from him in years, and why would we? But now that Michael's dead, he's all over the place making statements and doing interviews. He showed up at the BET Awards and used the occasion to promote a new record label he's starting! As if it has a chance in hell of being successful. What has he ever accomplished that wasn't done on the backs of his children? Has he ever done anything since they all left him and got real management companies?

This is the man whose abuse may be primarily responsible for all of Michael's problems. The physical abuse, the emotional abuse, the loss of anything resembling a normal childhood, all of this may have led to the behavior we saw from Michael, from the plastic surgeries to the child molestation.

And now Joe Jackson will pimp Michael out one more time, posthumously. Someone stop him, please.

One other thing: I recorded the BET Awards show last night. Later I started watching it. The show opened with New Edition performing a Jackson 5 medley. It was a bit ragged vocally but it connected emotionally. Both groups hit it big while they were kids so it was an appropriate tribute. Then host Jamie Foxx hit the stage dressed like Michael from the "Beat It" video. He said it was to be a celebration of Michael's life, then made a cheap remark about Michael's nose and felt the need to emphasize that Michael was "a black man! He belongs to us and we shared him with everybody else." After the second time he yelled at Sean "Diddy" Combs, the second time saying something that was bleeped out, I turned it off and deleted it. It was that horrendous.