Jon And Shane Plus...?

As if the mohawk wasn't bad enough, Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino is now showing questionable taste in celebrity friends. TMZ.com reports that bad dad Jon Gosselin has flown to Hawaii to attend Victorino's wedding this weekend. Why, Shane, Why? Aren't there any MMA fighters you could invite instead? Hell, even if you invited A-Rod and his latest skank Kate Hudson it would be almost understandable...

Jon Gosselin Chewed Up, Spit Out!

I cannot remotely say that I'm a fan of Nancy Grace, but this clip rocks! In the light of Jon Gosselin's lawsuit trying to get his kids off the TV show -- after TLC announced the show would be re-branded "Kate Plus Eight" -- and Jon's reportedly withdrawing all but $1,000 from a joint account he held with his wife, Jon and his lawyer have been making the media rounds. I don't know who told them it would be a good idea to appear on "The Insider" with Grace (and three others; I don't know who they are but one of them seems like she should be in the audience of a daytime talk show and the other two are unimportant). She tears them to pieces.

New idea for Jon minus Kate

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had the most brilliant idea today. Poor Jon Gosselin will need a reason (excuse?) to be on television now. No one's gonna care about him without Kate and the kids. Their current show's probably going to fall apart anyway. It's already going on hiatus while everyone makes the adjustments to their impending divorce, and even if it does return for the final 30-plus scheduled episodes, whatever charms it may have held will surely be gone. With the apparent plan being for one parent at a time living in their house, when the poor kids are asking "Where's Mommy?" or "Where's Daddy?" all the time, it's not gonna be pretty.

Meanwhile, there's another woman out there. She's a single mom, she's got a lot of mouths to feed and she's trying to break into "reality" television herself, but people generally don't like her right now -- especially because of the circumstances by which she became a single mom. She's a woman who really, truly needs a man in her life, and once she has the right man, the public will come around. Her name is Nadya Suleman.

Hopefully coming soon to a TV near you: Jon and Octomom Plus Fourteen (Even Those Six Non-Octuplets)!

If any network turns my vision into "reality" I guarantee monster ratings.

The new math: Jon and Kate plus eight minus Jon equals...

Let me see if I've got this straight, and since I've never watched the show this is just a general impression.

Jon and Kate Gosselin had twins, and then a while later they had sextuplets, thus inspiring a cable TV network to give them a "reality" show (and note the quotation marks: virtually none of these shows are remotely real) where they cashed in with lots of free goodies from sponsors, but no one really cared much until rumors surfaced that Jon was cheating with some other woman and Kate was cheating with a bodyguard.

Then the new season premiered with lots of hype and the two were mostly seen separately and discussed in vague terms the problems in their marriage. The ratings shot through the roof. The following weeks, ratings plummeted because the episodes didn't really deal with the only thing about these two that interested people. Suddenly, this week, promos for the latest episode featured ominous talk about "life-changing decisions." And on that show the couple announced their separation, and an on-screen graphic said that "On Monday, June 22, 2009, legal proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin."

Does anyone else think that their eight children ought to be taken away from these two nutcases? There should be a law against kids on "reality" shows. They should be allowed to just live their lives until they're old enough to make their own decision to appear -- or, like that mysterious Osbourne daughter who wouldn't go on MTV with Ozzy, Sharon, Jack and Kelly, not appear. Now these eight Gosselins are going to be pawns in their parents' little divorce drama. Future episodes (they're contracted for over 30 more) are going to just be a laugh riot, aren't they?