Quick Review: Abduction

In deciding on a grade for "Abduction," I hit upon something: the difference, in my mind, between a C-minus and a D-plus. More on that in a moment. But first, if you combine the title of this movie and its star, Taylor Lautner, you can have some fun. "Ab-duction," because the film contrives to have his shirt off in the first few minutes, and not once more the rest of the way. "Ab-duh-ction," because of Lautner's blank stare and near-complete lack of range, the film's general stupidity, and so on. Lautner plays a teenager who comes across a picture of himself as a toddler on a missing-persons website. That leads to a sometimes-confusing story where Lautner and a schoolmate (Lily Collins) are on the run from both the CIA and Russian terrorists. Sigourney Weaver plays his psychiatrist, except she turns out to be much more. Why do you suppose she wanted to be in this movie? Maybe she figured the presence of Lautner would lead to "Twilight"-sized box office, which would enhance her own paychecks? Alas, there was no real box office bonanza for this one.

At one point Lautner and Collins are on a train, and get to make out a bit in a quiet moment before trouble breaks out. As I watched, I was dumbstruck by what I saw as she raised her hand up to his face: either the shadows were playing tricks with my eyes, or...she's got hairier forearms than he does. Also, the final act takes place at a Pirates game at PNC Park (they filmed this in the Pittsburgh area). If this were real life it would mean there was more action than usually takes place during a Pirates game.

As for that pesky grade, here's the thing: while there may be a lot of bad things about some movies, to fall into the D-level it has to go a bit beyond being bad. Hate has to enter the picture, so to speak. Something about it has to make me angry that I sat through it. It has to make me squirm and seethe and either consider walking out or wish that I had. "Abduction," despite its flaws, just didn't do that. My grade: C-minus.

Quick Review: Paul

Another example of a movie that started out slowly and then grew on me as it went on is "Paul." It starts out with Graeme and Clive (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, who've done this before in "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz") coming from Britain to the US to attend the San Diego Comic-Con, and then take a road trip in a rented RV to sites of famous alien encounters such as Area 51. On the trip they have a run in with a couple of homophobic rednecks -- the running joke is that everyone thinks they're a couple -- at a diner (Jane Lynch makes a great waitress),  and then witness a car crash where they meet Paul, a real live alien...well, animated, with Seth Rogen's voice. Paul is escaping from the government agency that's been keeping him around since 1947, when his ship crashed on Earth, and needs help getting to the rendezvous point where he's to be picked up by a rescue ship. At a trailer park they meet Ruth (Kristen Wiig) who runs the place along with her father. They're devout Christians to the point where they don't believe in evolution -- or aliens. This is a problem when Ruth sees Paul, and Graeme and Clive end up taking Ruth along for the ride lest she alert the authorities. The beginning, with all the comic-book stuff and the rednecks, was too obvious and cliched, and the running gag about Graeme and Clive being a couple irritated me. But it's well-acted, and as the movie got into the chase aspect (Jason Bateman, as the lead agent trying to track down Paul, and Sigourney Weaver, as his superior, are excellent), and as Ruth, now questioning everything she believed since she now knows aliens are real, starts to let loose, the humor begins to shine. Lots of nods to sci-fi of all kinds, especially Steven Spielberg (who has a cameo). My grade: B.

Quick Review: Cedar Rapids

If you read this recent post and also follow me on Twitter, you know that on Thursday I was rushing to see "Cedar Rapids" before noon (the 11:40 showing, to be precise) -- because I wanted to pay the cheaper ticket price and because I feared it was the movie's last day at this multiplex -- and actually missed a small portion at the beginning. Apparently, unlike movies where five or six trailers are shown before it starts, this one started a lot closer to the scheduled time. From what I previously read about it, I believe I got there during the first scene after the opening credits, which showed insurance agent Tim Lippe (Ed Helms) in bed with a female companion (Sigourney Weaver!); reading Roger Ebert's review just now, it seems he is still living in his hometown of Brown Valley, Wisconsin -- and she was his grade-school teacher. Yikes! Tim sees her as a serious girlfriend (his first, I guess), while she's just having a fling. After another agent at his company dies suddenly, Tim is assigned to take his place at an annual insurance industry conference in Cedar Rapids and make sure he brings back a coveted award that the firm has won four years in a row. Tim is naive about almost everything, having lived a very simple life and having never left town before. At times it makes sense, as when he learns exactly how his co-worker died and how said dead guy actually won those awards. At other times it's a bit beyond comprehension, as when he doesn't quite get that he has to go through the TSA screening process to board his plane, or leave a credit card imprint when checking into his hotel ("I was told you would honor travelers' checks.") But Tim eventually gets a little up to speed with the help of other conventioneers, including Anne Heche, Isiah Whitlock and John C. Reilly. The movie is quite funny, as Tim experiences a lot during this convention (including alcohol and drug use) and becomes a little more wise in the ways of the world. And, by the way, it's still playing at the theater I was rushing to last week. With any luck it's still playing at a theater near you. My grade: B-plus.

Quick Review: You Again

When I first saw the trailer for "You Again," I decided I really wanted to see it. Looking back, I think I got caught up in all the Betty White frenzy during the spring (leading up to her hosting "Saturday Night Live"), since she was featured in the trailer. The actual film left a lot to be desired, though. Not because of Betty White. The whole premise was obnoxious. The film starts in 2002, where a teenaged girl named Marni is being harassed and bullied by the more popular, prettier girls -- one in particular, JJ (Odette Yustman) is the leader of the pack. Forward to the present, where Marni (Kristen Bell) is now a successful PR exec. She goes home for the wedding of her brother and learns that he's marrying the very same girl, who tortured her in high school -- except now she's Joanna, not JJ, and she's sweet and nice and does lots of volunteer work and doesn't seem to remember Marni at all. Marni's mom Gail (Jamie Lee Curtis) counsels her to let go of the past and make nice with Joanna, but then they meet Ramona (Sigourney Weaver), the bride's aunt -- and Gail's rival in high school. Eventually things get ridiculous. There are some good things about the movie, though. Besides the aforementioned Betty White (as Marni's grandmother), I always enjoy Sigourney Weaver in a comedy. Kristin Chenoweth is loads of fun as a wedding planner. At the end Marni's grandma meets Joanna's grandma -- of course, they were also rivals in their younger days -- and there's a great cameo. And, finally, there's the groom, played by James Wolk (billed as "Jimmy" Wolk in the credits). Wolk was the star of the new Fox series "Lone Star" until it was canceled after two weeks due to dismal ratings. This is important because, well, just look at him below...we've got to keep this man working, and shirtless. My grade: C-plus.