Jersey Shore Returns: Our Long National Nightmare Is Over

After some money issues were resolved, MTV has announced that there will be a second season of "Jersey Shore."

Their statement says they will follow the cast as they "escape the cold northeast and find themselves in a new destination." So, from what I understand, most or all of these people aren't even from New Jersey, and now the show won't even be located there. So it's still called "Jersey Shore" because...?

I've never watched it, and doubt I ever will. I'll leave the issue of "guidos" and Italian-American stereotyping to others. I want to know, is there really that much fascination with seeing a bunch of younger people act stupid, get drunk, fight, make out, etc? Doesn't it get tired? There are so many "reality" shows with the same type of behavior. What makes this bunch special? Is the success of this show just more proof that people are really dumb/have really bad taste? Or am I getting too old to understand young people?

Quick Review: Daybreakers

I bought my ticket to see "Daybreakers," went into the theater, settled in with my soda and snack (purchased outside the multiplex, of course) and waited for the film to begin. It opens with a brief scene of a woman writing a suicide note, walking out of her house into the sunlight, and burning to death. Then the title of the movie appeared on the screen, and I suddenly had a brain cramp. Somehow I had gotten it into my head in the moments between buying the ticket and the start of the movie that I was seeing "Legion." I must be getting old.

The woman who burned to death wasn't old, nor would she ever get old. She was a vampire who didn't want to live forever. In "Daybreakers," it's the year 2019 and most of the world is populated by vampires thanks to some sort of plague. All humans are being hunted down, captured and placed into farms where their blood is drained for consumption by the vampire populace. However, time is running out because humans are becoming scarce and the blood supply is being rationed, and when vampires go without blood long enough they devolve into a feral, animal-like state, incapable of thought, desperate to feed. A pharmaceutical company is trying to develop a blood substitute before everyone degenerates, and one of its hematologists, Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke), hopes that such a product will allow humans to live freely once again. However, the company's head (Sam Neill) has other ideas. Some humans, hiding to keep from being captured, are helped by Edward, and when they learn he's a hematologist, reveal their secret: one of them was a vampire but has now been cured. Obviously, this is not a "Twilight" movie. It's actually a very interesting piece of work, and it's strange to me that the movie's release was pushed back -- it was filmed in 2007. My grade: B-plus.

Smells Like A Bomb...

The newspaper ad for the new romantic comedy "When In Rome" boldly states: "From the studio that brought you THE PROPOSAL" in addition to the usual blurbs. This seems really desperate. Does anyone go to a movie because of the studio that releases it? I can understand seeing a film because its stars were in some other movie you loved, or maybe because the director or writers were involved with your favorite flick of all time, but a studio? Come on. Besides, the studio that brought us "The Proposal" -- Touchstone -- also brought us "The Village" and "Mr. 3000," among others. Here's something to remember: if you ever see an ad that states "From the studio that brought you the 2009 STAR TREK remake," beware -- that studio also gave us "The Love Guru."

Having said all that, I still might go and see "When In Rome."

Flyers: Terrible Loss, Standings Logjam

The Flyers' success over the last month or so (11-3-1 between December 23 and January 23) has moved them back into the thick of the playoff race, but they've now lost two in a row after tonight's awful 4-3 loss at home to Atlanta -- a game the Flyers led 3-1 after two periods. Claude Giroux scored a gorgeous goal to tie the game at 1-1 in the second, and set up the go-ahead goal by Arron Asham shortly after. Dan Carcillo gave the Flyers their two-goal lead, but the Thrashers scored twice early in the third period and eventually won it, scoring their 3 goals on just 8 shots.

Now, two losses in a row are usually not a big deal. What is a big deal is the way the Flyers lost tonight. The Eastern Conference standings right now are a jumble. Coming into tonight's action the 6th- through 9th-place teams (Flyers, Panthers, Rangers, Canadiens) all had 55 points; the Bruins, Thrashers, Lightning and Islanders were next, all with 54 points. The Islanders lost tonight, and the other teams were idle, so the Thrashers' comeback win vaulted them from 11th to 6th place. It's that close, thanks to a combination of parity (mediocrity?) and the extra point teams are rewarded with for games they wait to lose until overtime or the dreaded shootout.

Because of the Flyers' horrendous 3-13-1 run that started in mid-November they're part of the mad scramble to make the playoffs instead of sitting comfortably ahead of the pack. They can't afford to let tonight's loss send them into another downward spiral.

My Volunteer Stint Begins

If you're a faithful reader of this blog, you may recall that I've signed on to do some volunteer work, completing tax returns for working families, seniors, etc. for the Campaign for Working Families. By the way, if you're in the Philadelphia area, you can still help out. This is from an e-mail I received:

Be a Greeter: We need volunteers to help with the greeting and intake process at our largest sites (Northeast, North Philadelphia, Germantown & Center City). The intake process is an essential part of our tax services and includes greeting customers, making copies, maintaining sign in sheets and other administrative tasks. Please email epwebb@gpuac.org to get placed as a greeter at a site near you!

I'm scheduled to work on Mondays for 6 hours at the Northeast Phila. site, but I may be showing up other days as well, especially in the first 3 weeks when demand is highest. This past Monday was my first day. At my site there were 8 volunteers, including myself, and things went fairly well. However, I got an e-mail from the site manager today. Yesterday only 2 volunteers showed up, and they had to close the doors early; some customers left without getting their tax returns done because of the long wait time. People committed to work on Tuesday but did not show up. That is disappointing. I know it's volunteer work and not a paying job but it's still a commitment.

Basically the process is this: the customer is greeted and fills out some intake paperwork with their general information. If their return isn't too complex, then I can do the return since I'm certified at the Basic level. If not someone who's certified at a higher level has to handle it.

The first return I processed I was feeling very uncertain and had to ask for help once or twice, and made a couple of small mistakes which were caught in the quality review. (Quality reviews are done on each return before the return is set up for electronic filing with the IRS, and the paperwork is printed out, both for the customer's records and for the office.) After that, it was smoother sailing. I completed 4 or 5 returns in full. One person's return wasn't quite finished because she wanted direct deposit of her refund but didn't have her account number and bank's routing number or a voided check with that info, so her return was put on hold until she returned with it.

I could have completed one or two more except the people doing the quality reviews were busy so at times we had to wait our turn. All of the customers I dealt with were very patient. I got more comfortable as the afternoon went on, and I think I made a good decision to do this. It feels like I'm contributing to making people's lives easier. And the fact that they don't have to go to a company like H&R Block means they are keeping all of their money instead of paying fees -- and if they don't have a bank account we have people who can help them open bank accounts, or they can receive their refund in the form of a prepaid debit card with just a $1.00 monthly fee, again saving on the fees charged by H&R Block for advances on their refund.

Twitter Trending Topics

On Twitter the "Trending Topics" feature -- the list of the most-discussed items on Twitter -- has been a source of amusement and annoyance to me. Amusement because it's interesting to see what subjects are being talked about. Annoyance because made-up "topics" lead to a greater volume of sometimes inane, sometimes stupid posts in my Twitter feed. Example: right now one of the leaders in the United States is #nowthatsghetto -- so there are a series of posts such as:

"yo moms got empty Henny bottles around her bedroom............#nowthatsghetto"
"#nowthatsghetto the fact that I can get my hair gel, toothpaste and a #6 Chinese food combo all from the same quick mart"
"claiming you have celebrity friends when in reality, you're just they're Facebook fan ......#nowthatsghetto."

All of those are actual tweets I found during a search, but at times they'll come up in my feed if someone I'm following decides to run with it. (I'm looking at you, injured Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews!) Sometimes they're clever, but often they're just variations on the same idea and I find it more annoying than anything else.

Anyway, Twitter has tweaked its service so you can set the Trending Topics that show up on your page to a specific location. You can see what's trending worldwide; in the countries of Brazil, Canada, Ireland, Mexico, the United Kingdom or the United States; or in one of 15 cities: Atlanta, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Dallas-Ft. Worth, Houston, London, Los Angeles, New York City, Philadelphia, San Antonio, San Francisco, Seattle, São Paulo and Washington, D.C. Nice to know Philly made the cut, so I thought I'd do a comparison of what's trending here as compared to the hot topics for the USA, Canada and the world. (Some other time I may do a comparison between various cities.)

Worldwide:

* #nowplaying
* Haiti
* iTampon - According to Twitter: "People are making a joke due to unfortunate word associations in the name of Apple's new tablet, the iPad." (No, really?)
* #cbb7 - (No Twitter explanation but if you see the item directly below, you can guess what CBB stands for.)
* Davina - "Davina McCall, host of Celebrity Big Brother (UK), entered the house tonight in disguise."
* Union (for President Obama's State of the Union speech tonight)
* Don’t Ask
* #apple
* Ugly Betty (canceled by ABC, those bastards!)
* Don't Tell

It's not an exact science -- Twitter is separating the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" topic (Obama is reportedly going to call for the anti-gay military policy to be repealed in his speech tonight -- I wonder why this is in the top 10 worldwide but not in the USA?)

United States:

* #itampon
* #ipad
* #nowthatsghetto (See above.)
* Apple iPad
* iBooks
* MaxiPad (See iTampon)
* Union address
* MadTV
* iTablet
* Howard Zinn

Canada:

* #itampon
* Apple iPad
* MadTV
* #Haiti
* Ugly Betty
* Multitasking
* #yeg (Huh?)
* Canadian
* Mass Effect
* Olympics

Philadelphia:

* #itampon
* #applesnextproduct
* #NewAppleProducts
* Apple iPad
* Haiti
* Ugly Betty
* Tyra
* Oprah
* Apple
* Device

Again, probably a Twitter issue that all of the variations on "Apple" are appearing separately instead of as one topic...and how is "device" a topic?

Quick Review: The Book Of Eli

It's amazing how many times life as we know it has come to an end in movies, especially if you count films like "Zombieland." The latest post-apocalyptic flick is "The Book Of Eli," in which the world has been pretty much destroyed (nuclear holocaust, presumably) and, for whatever reason, every copy of the Bible has been destroyed. Eli (Denzel Washington) is on a mission to take the last copy of the King James Bible in existence out to the West Coast for some reason. He has mad fighting skills, which come in handy in a violent, post-apocalyptic world. In addition, despite everything having been in ruins for some time, he has a working iPod. On his cross-country walk and needing his portable battery recharged, he arrives in a wreck of a town which is controlled by Carnegie (Gary Oldman), who at first treats Eli well until he learns Eli has a copy of the Bible. Carnegie wants the Bible to use its words to keep the people of his town under control and to expand his "empire." I kind of had some low expectations -- I'm not big on religious overtones and some of this is probably derivative of the "Mad Max" films (I say "probably" because I've never seen them) -- but I was pleasantly surprised. My grade: B.

My Week In Comics 1-20-10

Tomorrow...technically today, since it's after midnight...I have 7 books I'm definitely buying and 4 more possibilities (meaning, I'll browse them at the store and then decide). I may have 11 books to write about next time. Remember when I tried writing one sentence about each book? I may resort to one word per book. As for these three...

Superman/Batman 68: The storyline that begins here follows up on a story told 4 issues ago, and is yet another story in this book set in the recent past, when Bruce Wayne was still alive and kicking as Batman. It's also labeled on the cover as a followup to the "Our Worlds At War" event (published in 2001), but so far, other than taking place shortly after that war ended, there seems to be no actual connection.

The Power Of Shazam! 48: This actually was out a week ago but I didn't buy it then. Another canceled series "resurrected" for one issue with a Blackest Night label. A black ring reanimates Osiris (as well as Sobek, whose murder of Osiris was one of the most shocking events in the "52" weekly series) but due to the magic that gave him, well, the powers of Shazam, he's able to resist the ring's evil influence. Once again it really has nothing to do with the Blackest Night storyline, but at least it gives Osiris a happier ending this time.

Simpsons Comics 162: Mayor Quimby's mandatory "Take Your Parent To Work Day" leads to Grampa Simpson marrying Mr. Burns' mother, making Homer and Monty step-brothers, and to Bart's getting a new substitute teacher, who easily thwarts his pranks.

The National Lottery Is Coming

The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees
I need money (that's what I want) 
That's what I want (that's what I want)
That's what I want (that's what I want)
That's what I want

That's the opening to the first hit from Motown Records, Barrett Strong's "Money (That's What I Want)," a song that's very much an appropriate musical accompaniment to this post.

I just read that New Jersey and some other states are going to begin selling Powerball tickets on Sunday. These are states that have been Mega Millions states, and now they're adding Powerball. Pennsylvania, a Powerball state, has announced plans to start selling Mega Millions tickets. Back in October, Powerball and Mega Millions reached an agreement to allow stores to sell tickets for both games. More and more, states that are desperate to find added revenue are signing up for both of the huge multi-million jackpot lotteries.

So it just makes sense that eventually Powerball and Mega Millions will merge completely and we'll have one big national super-lottery. I'm guessing it will become MegaPowerball; the jackpots will start with a minimum of $30 million (currently Powerball starts at $20 mil and Mega Millions begins with $12 mil) and each time no one hits the jackpot will skyrocket. Start saving your pennies now, because this is going to happen.

Shut The Hell Up! Two Things I'm Tired Of Hearing On WIP

Presenting a pair of rants on topics that I no longer want to hear discussions about on our sports-talk radio station, WIP:

One: the endless Donovan McNabb debate, which goes a little something like this: The Eagles should get rid of him and give the starting QB job to Kevin Kolb. The Eagles should keep McNabb, Kolb sucks and/or isn't ready to be the starter. McNabb is a lousy quarterback. McNabb is a future Hall of Famer. McNabb isn't an accurate passer. McNabb throws interceptions much less often than almost every other QB. McNabb isn't a good team leader. McNabb's teammates love him. McNabb doesn't win the big games. McNabb's won plenty of big games. McNabb can't let go of the booing he got when he was drafted. McNabb always says how he loves being an Eagle and wants to remain an Eagle. McNabb threw up at the end of the Super Bowl...and on and on and on...enough! This is the one compelling reason I have for hoping the Eagles do part ways with McNabb: so this debate will end once and for all. Over a decade of this, thanks to Andy Reid (the one who really should be going, but isn't) -- I'm sick of it! Shut the hell up!

Two: the continuing occasional comments (and, with the recent signing of Joe Blanton to a 3-year deal, plus spring training being less than a month away, we'll hear this more and more) about how the Phillies should have kept Cliff Lee as well as acquiring Roy Halladay, especially because they're paying Joe Blanton almost as much as Lee is getting for 2010. If I could call the station and make this point without being interrupted or disconnected, I'd say the following: "Listen up, morons: in an ideal world, yes, it would've been great for the Phils to keep both Lee and Halladay. But this is NOT an ideal world. Time to face reality. Lee's ability to become a free agent after 2010 means he'll be likely to get upwards of $15-20 million per year after 2010. That's much more than the Phils will be paying Blanton, who is now signed through 2012. The Phillies are NOT the wealthy teams the Yankees and Red Sox are, and can't afford to pay top dollar to every single player. There was no way the Phils could afford to give up more minor league talent in exchange for Halladay, especially after giving up some players to get Lee last year. You have to keep some talent in the minor leagues to replace older players and to use for future trades when a need suddenly arises due to an injury. And with the salary Lee is expected to get in his next contract, the Phils would be almost guaranteed to lose him after 2010. That's why the Phils traded Lee after getting Halladay. It was the right decision. Now shut the hell up!"

Some Haiti Telethon Thoughts

I was watching the Hope For Haiti Now telethon earlier tonight. I certainly encourage everyone to do what they can to aid the victims of the devastating earthquake. Even a small donation will help. There are many worthy organizations accepting donations. (Just beware of the scams.) However, I just can't help being a bit cynical about a couple of things.

So many TV networks -- ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, MTV, even the MLB Network (but not Fox News Channel, unsurprisingly) -- aired the show tonight. And yet...this is a Friday night. The telethon in January 2005 to aid the victims of the Indian Ocean tsunami was held on a Saturday night. Two shows raising money for victims of Hurricane Katrina were both held on Friday nights. The telethon held after the 9/11 terrorist attacks took place on a Friday night. I wonder, would the networks be so willing to give up their airtime on a Thursday or a Sunday, instead of on nights when ratings are so low because most people go out instead of sitting home glued to the TV?

Many celebrities took time to appear tonight -- to perform, speak, even take calls from people donating by phone. Many have made donations of their own. And yet...how much more good could be done if wealthy celebrities toned down their lavish lifestyles a little? The parties, the vacations, the ownership of multiple properties, and on and on...Beyonce and Jay-Z paid $1,200.00, plus a $500.00 tip (I admit, this part of the story is pretty cool -- that's around a 40 percent tip) for lunch at a New York City restaurant. One thousand, seven hundred dollars. For lunch!

For that matter, I can't help but wonder how many celebs show up because they truly care, and how many are looking for good publicity. I guess we'll never really know, but wouldn't it be interesting to hear reports about Celebrity XYZ saying "no" to the telethon because they weren't getting paid, or that the agent for some "reality" TV performer kept hounding the producers to get their client on the show?

As for the show itself, while the situation in Haiti is terrible and desperate, why did most of the performances have to be so solemn and mournful? I would have enjoyed the show more if there was a little more uptempo music, something that would maybe inspire some hopeful feelings. They kept saying how you can download the performances on iTunes. Honestly, based on the music alone, I wouldn't want most of them.

One more thing, this one about one of tonight's performers -- and I'm no longer being cynical, just a little shallow: John Legend is pretty.

Ex-Phils Coach Steve Smith On Amazing Race

Have you been wondering what former Phillies third-base coach Steve Smith has been doing? Wonder no more. Smith and his daughter Allison will be contestants on the new season of the CBS show "The Amazing Race." Smith joined the Phils in 2007 and was let go by the team just six days after the Phils won the 2008 World Series. He was hired by the Cleveland Indians this past November to be part of new manager Manny Acta's staff.

Smith wasn't really a favorite with the fans. There were a number of times during his two years as third-base coach, particularly early on, where baserunners either were thrown out at home when they shouldn't have tried to score or were held at third when it seemed they could have scored easily. There were reports at the time of Smith's firing that manager Charlie Manuel wasn't happy with him, in part because of on-field incidents that caused Smith to be suspended twice by Major League Baseball in 2008.

In case you haven't seen the show, on "The Amazing Race" teams of two, usually related or best friends or otherwise connected, travel to exotic locales around the world and complete a series of tasks, with the winning team receiving a $1 million prize. The new season, it's 16th, debuts Sunday, February 14.

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 1-13-10

Hmmm...iTunes managed to not repeat any artists or albums. At least not through this group of 13. I know that the longer I listen, the repeats will come.

Keep This Party Going - The B-52's
Do You Still Remember - Aretha Franklin
One More Time - Jim Verraros
Tumbling Dice - The Rolling Stones
ABC (Freedom) - Eurythmics
I Know A Place - Petula Clark
24 Hours - Duncan Faure
Frozen (Stereo MC's Remix) - Madonna
Do You Go - Mark Weigle
Get Mine, Get Yours - Christina Aguilera
Miss Otis Regrets/Just One Of Those Things - Kirsty MacColl & The Pogues
Hangin' On A String (Contemplating) - Loose Ends
Bad Boy/Having A Party - Luther Vandross

My Week In Comics 1-13-10

Four books, the last being way out of my usual superhero/Simpsons realm...

Adventure Comics 6: I've enjoyed this book so much. Unfortunately, the end of the initial story arc featuring Superboy is also leading into changes in the writer and artists as well as the direction of the series itself. For a few more issues it will still be tied into events in the Superman books, though. This issue finds Superboy no longer wondering whether he's more like Superman or Lex Luthor, after Luthor proves himself to be truly brilliant -- and a heartless bastard.

Action Comics 885: Speaking of events in the Superman books, they're coming to a head. Nightwing and Flamebird surrender to the Metropolis Science Police, and then General Lane's "Squad K" wants to take custody of them, and then things get explosive.

Catwoman 83: DC Comics had this idea. Since they're "resurrecting" dead heroes and villians in the "Blackest Night" epic, why not "resurrect" dead series -- canceled series? So this month, there are a few of these canceled books returning for one issue only, with the issue number picking up from where it left off after cancellation, and ostensibly with "Blackest Night" connections. But judging from this one, the tie-in isn't important at all to "Blackest Night." It features Catwoman's "Gotham City Sirens" co-stars but without the same level of humor of that series.

So I was in the store looking over the shelves and found...

Weekly World News 1: A comic book based on the bizarre tabloid (which apparently only exists online now)? Really? Featuring Bat Boy, and that UFO alien who's always advising presidents, and so on? Yes! They both appear, among others, but the star of the book is their nutty right-wing columnist Ed Anger (although he doesn't seem so nutty these days, in the age of the birthers and teabaggers). This is supposed to run for four issues but with so much awesome lunacy to work with...like, did you know Megan Fox is a man? I didn't! Unfortunately, the only issues of the book in the store had an alternate cover instead of the one pictured here. Not that I dislike the cover I got, though, with Bat Boy changing into...well, you can see it as part of the preview at the IDW Comics website.

Democrats: Dumb-ocrats

So there's this goofy game called InkBall that came with my computer. The object of the game is to use your mouse to draw ink strokes onto the board (like the pen you use in the Paint program) to direct these little blue, green, gold or red balls into holes of the same color before the clock runs out. There are 5 different skill levels, from Beginner to Expert. The higher the skill level, the more complex the game -- with various obstacles, more balls in the game, less time on the clock and balls moving more quickly. I've been playing this game recently and am now playing in the 4th (Advanced) level. There are times when I fail to get past a screen and get angry. I mean really angry. I mean screaming, cursing, pounding-my-fist-on-the-desk ANGRY.

Now, you might think I'd be even angrier because a right-wing, anti-gay Republican -- one who's posed nude in Cosmopolitan, for crying out loud -- has won the Massachusetts special election to serve out the rest of Ted Kennedy's term in the U.S. Senate.

You'd be wrong.

I feel the same way I feel about the end of the Eagles' season, come to think of it. I'm disappointed and disgusted, but not really angry -- because I'm not really surprised. We've seen Barack Obama and the Democratic party continuously kowtow to the GOP, even as the GOP edges closer and closer to out-and-out ultra-right lunacy. Despite the fact that poll after poll indicates that on just about every issue people favor Democratic policies over those of the Republicans, Obama and his party continue with strategies (watering down things like health-care and financial regulation reform) designed to try and win a few Republican votes instead of pushing for actual change as promised in the 2008 election, and then letting the voters punish any Republicans who do nothing but block real reforms.

Obama won a decisive victory in 2008. Ever since then he's been playing nice, wanting to be bipartisan. The GOP has never had any interest in bipartisanship. They're out to win at all costs. They've been that way pretty much since Reagan was elected in 1980. They unleashed the birthers and the teabaggers and the hatemongers (not to mention the professional liars such as Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck), all of whom have one mission: to bring down Obama's presidency by just about any means necessary. Their policies have been dismal failures, they have no new answers for the problems facing our country, but refuse to try the ideas Obama has proposed. Obama and the Democrats, instead of pushing back, continue to step aside.

Now, they're seeing the results of one-sided bipartisanship. The election in Massachusetts means that the Democrats, instead of the 60 needed to break GOP filibusters, only have 59 votes in their corner -- counting the independents who align themselves with the Dems, although one can hardly consider the weaselly Joe Lieberman as much of an ally. This follows wins in November by Republicans in governor's races in New Jersey and Virginia. My guess is that "independent" voters and loyal Democrats are disillusioned by what's gone on since November 2008 and are either voting Republican or staying home. I feel just as disillusioned, but I won't stay home and I'll never vote for a Republican. The extent of my protest is, I stopped following Barack Obama on Twitter.

We'll see if the Democrats wake up before it's too late, but they'd better hurry. There are mid-term congressional elections in 2010. The GOP is out for blood, and right now there's some blood in the water and the sharks are circling.

Facebook STILL Sucks

This is what it looks like when I go to Facebook's website right now:

It's been like this for over two hours. No matter what I try -- refresh, log out and log back in, clear the cache, etc., this is how it displays. I even tried using Internet Explorer instead of my usual Firefox. It all looks like this, rendering Facebook unreadable.

I Am So Smart! I Am So Smart! S-M-R-T -- I mean...

Here's an update on the volunteer tax preparer work I signed up for. On Thursday I attended the Intro to Tax Laws training. It took almost 3 hours. We were given three books, including a reference manual with lots of charts and tables, with info on both the tax regulations and the computer program I'll be using, as well as the certification test book. In the Basic test (there are different certification levels -- starting with Basic, which was for us first-timers) there were 8 scenarios. We had to analyze the information given for each and answer questions about their tax status, exemptions, deductions, etc. We were told on Thursday to do the first 5 scenarios at home and bring it in for the second training session (on the computer program) and the certification test, which was in a 6-hour time period (including a lunch break).

I had scheduled my second class for January 23rd but decided to reschedule it to yesterday and get it out of the way. So on Friday I went through the first five scenarios and answered the questions. As I did it I really felt insecure. I wasn't sure if I was picking up the information I needed and using the charts and reference tools properly. And, of course, I didn't have the answer sheet. The way the class was conducted on Thursday I felt it was a little too rushed, considering how complicated tax returns can be.

Yesterday, I went in for the computer training and the certification test. Again, it felt a little rushed. When we began taking the test I went through the final three scenarios and again felt rather insecure, especially when some people had completed the test and left. I had visions of failing the test and walking out, never to return, having wasted my time. Finally, shortly after 3 p.m. and with the classroom about half-empty, I finished the last of the 30 questions on the test and handed it to the instructor to review. He did so, and then returned the sheet to me.

Out of the 30 questions, I got all 30 correct. I let out a big laugh.

I shouldn't be surprised -- I know my brain works reasonably well and I've always said that I can do anything given the proper training. I certainly did this type of thing all the time when I worked for Social Security. But I couldn't help myself. And it has been a few years since I've been in any kind of training. I guess what it means is that when I start doing tax returns for people, even if I don't feel like I know everything, at least I know where to look it up. And if people with more complex tax issues show up, we can pass them along to higher-level volunteers.

So I'm certified at the Basic level. We had a graduation ceremony with cap and gown, as you can see from the photo above. Don't I look good for my age?

Next, I learn exactly where I'll be assigned (I requested either their site in northeast Philly, not too far from my house, or a downtown site). The sites open on January 25th. In the meantime, one of the books I was given is a book with practice cases, so if I want I can go to the website with the "Practice Lab" for the computer software and do some additional work on my own.

And if you don't know where the title of this post comes from, first hang your head in shame. ;-) Then watch this:

Quick Review: Youth In Revolt

Question: can Michael Cera break out of the mold of sensitive, soft-spoken, sort of cute in a pale, skinny, hairless sort of way teenager that he's filled in "Juno" and "Superbad" and "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist"? All of those are fine movies, but still, is there more to Cera than meets the eye? We don't quite get an answer in his latest film, "Youth In Revolt," but we can see he's trying to branch out. Here Cera plays 16-year-old Nick Twisp -- another typical Cera character -- who falls for Sheeni, a beautiful girl he meets at a mobile home park where his mother (Jean Smart) and her boyfriend of the moment (Zach Galifianakis) have dragged him to. Alas, Sheeni's just not that into Nick. She likes the bad boy type, and has a jones for all things France. Enter Francois Dillinger, an alter ego Nick creates in his mind to help win Sheeni over. Cera plays Francois as well (with a pencil-thin mustache, tight pants and cigarettes), and the imaginary Francois goads Nick into some drastic actions that have serious consequences. There are some good laughs, particularly after Francois shows up. It's not an enormous stretch for Cera, but it does bode well for his future. My grade: B.

On Gaga, Madonna, Canceled Shows And Twitter

In 1990 I had tickets to see Madonna in concert on her "Blond Ambition" tour. I wanted to see the show desperately, having seen her from a distance at Veterans Stadium for the "Who's That Girl" tour. This time she was set for three shows at the Spectrum, so even if I had seats at the top I would still have a closer view. And since Madonna's music was evolving into something more than the simple grooves and lyrics of, say, "Lucky Star," and the show was more complex and controversial, it was a must-see for me.

The shows sold out quickly. I did not bother waiting in line to try and buy tickets in person. Unlike today, there was (obviously) no website for ticket sales. (Also, unlike today, the Vet still existed and the Spectrum was open.) I remember buying the tickets over the phone from a ticket broker. I'm not sure how much extra I paid, although the prices weren't as ridiculously inflated as they are now. The three shows were set for June 15, 16 and 17. I bought tickets for the 15th, a Friday night.

You may remember, as documented in Truth Or Dare, that Madonna was having problems with her voice due to a sore throat and canceled a few shows during the tour.

You guessed it. The June 15th show was canceled.

Since I bought the tickets from a broker, I lost some money on the deal. I returned the tickets to the box office and was refunded the face value price only. The money wasn't what disappointed me. I was sad because I never got to see the concert.

The reason this came to mind is because Lady Gaga had to cancel a show at Purdue University tonight. Just a little while ago, she logged on to Twitter and issued a series of tweets:

I've been crying for hours, I feel like I let my fans down 2nite. An hour before the show, I was feeling dizzy and having trouble breathing

Paramedics came to take care of me, and told me my heart-rate was irregular-- a result of exhaustion and dehydration.

can't apologize enough for how sorry I am. I could hear my fans cheering from my dressing room, I begged everyone to let me go onstage.

My stage has complicated mechanical elements,everyone was concerned I'd be in danger during the 2hr show, since I had passed out earlier.

I am so devastated. I have performed with the flu, a cold, strep throat: I would never cancel a show just based on discomfort.

I hope you can forgive me. I love my little monsters more than anything, you are everything to me. I will make-up the performance on Jan 26.

I got no such declarations from Madonna 19 1/2 years ago. (Nor did she reschedule her show the way Gaga did.) For all I know, maybe she felt the same way then that Gaga does now. And for all I know, maybe something else happened tonight. The TMZ report I linked says she merely got on her tour bus and left, and school EMT's were turned away when they arrived at the venue.

But I love that there are celebrities on Twitter -- singers, athletes, actors -- communicating directly with the masses. They're sometimes funny, sometimes profane, sometimes pouring their heart out, but always much more fun than those whose tweets come from employees, or worse, those who just issue statements through publicists.

Madonna really needs to get on Twitter before the next tour.

Rest In Peace, Teddy Pendergrass

Here are some clips to remember the great Teddy Pendergrass, one of the most talented artists to come from Philadelphia, who died Wednesday at the age of 59.

This song is probably my favorite, from his days with Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes:



He went on to solo success, and had quite the stage presence...



The 1982 auto accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down didn't end his career. He returned to the stage at Live Aid in 1985:

Perez Hilton: No Trolls Allowed

So it seems that a trio consisting of Perez Hilton, American Idol creator Simon Fuller and someone I've never heard of are doing a search for the "next" boy band. Apparently there's a gap in the entertainment industry that needs to be filled. (Damn you, recently reunited Backstreet Boys, for not being big any more!) Males age 13-21 are eligible to be part of this contest. But...

Hilton encourages everyone to try out, but he does have strict guidelines as to who they’re looking for. “We don’t want any ugly ones,” he says. “We don’t want any Joey Fatones, if you know what I mean. So it’s not going to be easy. That shouldn’t discourage people from auditioning. We really wanna see everyone. [But] we don’t want anyone that’s, like, hideous. We want five Justin Timberlakes.”

"That shouldn't discourage people from auditioning"? What I'm hearing is: "If you have superstar talent -- voice, dance moves, even songwriting ability -- but you're not pretty enough, you can audition if you want but you'll be wasting your time!" Yes, let's send the music industry spiraling into oblivion even more quickly.

The following has presumably been done many millions of times since Perez Hilton started his blog but hey, even though I'm a latecomer I'm still entitled to one:

My Idol Fling May Be Ending

Last night, the 9th season of American Idol premiered. For most of the early years I never watched the show. I've always held on to my view that most of the contestants aren't exceptionally talented or worthy of being referred to as an idol, that truly gifted singers who work at their craft get discovered and earn careers without such a shortcut. This isn't to say that no one from Idol deserves success; I have some admiration for Kelly Clarkson and I love Adam Lambert. But come on -- Taylor Hicks? Jordin Sparks? Kris Allen? Yawn. I just think there's too much self-serving hype from the show itself.

So, in the early years, my only real experience watching the show itself was in season 3's audition round, the one which featured the infamous William Hung. The freak show aspect was being hyped in Fox's promos at the time, and that's why I watched. However, I just didn't care after that.

In season 6 (the year of Sanjaya!) I finally watched an entire season from beginning to end. In part it was because I wanted to see what the fuss was about, and in part it was because I was reading recaps of the show online (EW.com, for one) and didn't enjoy them as much since I hadn't seen what I was reading about. I watched most of season 7, but with season 8 I didn't begin watching until Motown Week, when they were down to the top 10, and after that I was mainly interested in Adam Lambert.

While the show is entertaining on some levels, it also annoys me in a lot of ways. The editing process, as with many "reality" shows, truly warps what actually occurs in shows that aren't live broadcasts. People can be made to look good, or bad, depending on the whims of the producers. Controversies can be manufactured as needed. The emphasis on the feel-good or hard-luck stories, families, the self-congratulations about the vote totals, the product placement, Ryan Seacrest's "America has voted...and you are...not...going to..." lines...all of this grates on me.

Then there are the judges. The three originals -- Randy Jackson and all of his "dawg" shtick, Simon Cowell's acerbic crankiness, and Paula Abdul's lovable (substance-enhanced?) daffiness -- and the newbie, Kara DioGuardi, who struck me as sometimes vapid, sometimes obnoxious, always unnecessary. Often the criticism of the judges is contradictory from week to week or from contestant to contestant ("you made the song your own" vs. "you changed a great song" or "this is a singing competition" vs. "you sound fine but you look ridiculous"). At least Simon tends to be more honest, and Paula, in her way, tried to make the contestants feel good. If Randy and Kara got lost in the Bermuda Triangle I wouldn't be unhappy.

Unfortunately, the reverse is happening. Paula is already gone, and this is Simon's last year. We have to wait until we see how Ellen DeGeneres, Paula's replacement, works out. For the audition rounds they added guest judges. Last night it was Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. Who knows what happens next year?

The whole show last night just left me kind of bored. I wasn't paying much atttention by the last 15-20 minutes. Everything about the show -- the awful and awfully strange auditions, the people who take offense when they don't get a ticket to the Hollywood round, the human-interest stuff (grandma with Alzheimer's, cancer survivor) -- it all had a "been there, done that" vibe. I didn't think anyone had a particular star quality, and with Posh Spice in Paula's place there was little coming from the judges (other than Simon) that I cared to hear.

I'm still planning to watch tonight, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll stick it out through the entire season. Certainly when Simon is gone, I think the show will take a real dive unless the producers do a major reboot. I'm not sure I can wait that long to jump off the Idol train.

Comic Book Flashback: A Couple Of Funny Books

A while back I mentioned that I wanted to write about some older comic books I had recently re-read. Luckily for you, the time is now! Both of these were released in 2000 and, while falling generally into the superhero genre, are far from serious. Both involve Superman and Batman as well as a certain imp from the Fifth Dimension. And one of the stories, when I first heard of it, made me giddy as a schoolgirl. I think I literally squealed. But first...

Superman and Batman: World's Funnest: Actually, our heroes aren't the subject of this one. Instead, it stars their strange little magical nemeses, Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite. It starts with a scene in a typical Silver Age story, where Superman, Batman and Robin have captured Lex Luthor and the Joker. It's typical right down to Lois Lane, in her pink outfit with the pillbox hat, pining away for her Man of Steel: "Sigh! If only I could trick Superman into a loving, honest marriage..." Then weird things begin happening, and Mxy and Bat-Mite both appear. They begin fighting, and in doing so their magical attacks end up killing Superman, Batman, Robin, Lois...well, the entire universe. Then they move on to the next universe, and repeat the process. Before long we see the two destroy all kinds of universes -- the DC Animated universe (as in the Superman/Batman/Justice League cartoons from the 1990s on), the "Batman: Dark Knight Returns" universe, the "Kingdom Come" universe, even that strange little place that spawned the Super Friends. Eventually, nothing is left but Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite, who collapse into laughter. On the final page everything is back to where we started. "Same time next Tuesday?" "You're on!"

Superman & Bugs Bunny: Yes, you read that correctly! Two of my favorite characters in a four-issue miniseries. This one begins with two parallel stories: in Metropolis, a typical day of investigation for Daily Planet reporters Lois Lane and Clark Kent is turned upside down by the arrival of Mr. Mxyzptlk and his mischief. Mxy is easily tricked by Clark into saying his name backwards, which sends him back to the Fifth Dimension. Meanwhile, in the world occupied by the Looney Tunes, the usual Elmer Fudd-hunting-wabbits routine is interrupted by the Do-Do, fresh from Wackyland, lamenting the fact that everyone in the Looneyverse is weirder than he is, thus making his trickery a waste of time. The Do-Do has a dimensional transporter but it's not working. Bugs gets an idea, and picks up a Superman comic book, telling the Do-Do it's from "Od-Od comics" -- Do-Do backwards. Do-Do repeats the phrase and his transporter works. En route to their dimensional destinations, Mxy and Do-Do collide and compare notes. Mxy decides he wants to go to a place without superheroes, and they create a new device. Mxy travels to the Looneyverse. It doesn't go well for him.

Mxy: How can I cause mischief in a world full of Tasmanian Devils and ducks who drop anvils on people?
Do-Do: That's why I left there!
Mxy: Now I know how Superman feels when I'm around! I wonder how he'd fare against a Tasmanian Devil? If he thinks I'm bad, he oughta --THAT’S IT! The most fiendish, devious, rotten, sneaky and malicious evil notion EVER!
Do-Do: I think someone already invented talk radio!

Using their device, they move all of the Looney Tunes into Superman's world. Hilarity ensues. Then Mxy has another idea, and uses the machine to cross a couple of characters. This results in...Super-Fudd. Then Do-Do does the same and we meet Bat-Duck. The entire Justice League of America gets involved, and eventually the JLA and the Looney Tunes team up, stopping a plot by the Toyman. As Mxy is about to merge the two universes together permanently, Bugs tricks Mxy into going on the Internet to brag about his brilliant plan -- at www.kltpzyxm.com. Buh-bye, Mxy. Do-Do reprograms the machine to send everyone back where they belong...except for a certain singing frog.

My Week In Comics 1-6-10

I noticed that this is my 250th post since beginning this blog. I suppose that's a milestone. Not quite 20 years of the Simpsons, but still...and speaking of the Simpsons...

Simpsons Super Spectacular 10: Two super-stories! A criminal is stealing the hair from every man in Springfield, and only Bartman can save the day! Also, Radioactive Man is stymied by Retroactive Man!

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman 2 (of 3): Instead of picking right up where the first issue left off, the story here falls within events taking place in Blackest Night #6, where Diana, turned into a Black Lantern by one of the black power rings, desperately tries to fight off the ring's effects while attacking Mera. Though we saw the end result in Blackest Night #6, exactly what happens to Wonder Woman is explained in detail here, and there's a twist near the end of this book after some serious carnage.

Superman: World of New Krypton 11 (of 12): Just one issue of this miniseries left. We're about to find out what Zod has been up to, and how it affects Superman and everyone on New Krypton. I'm sort of itching for this to end so we can move on to what's next.

Flyers Resurgent, No Thanks To Cheating TV Network

When I last wrote about the Flyers, they had lost the Winter Classic in overtime and then lost a mess of a game in Ottawa. Fortunately, since then they've won three in a row. Wins at home over Toronto and Tampa Bay sandwiched the most impressive of the three wins, a 7-4 spanking of the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Pens are the defending Stanley Cup champs and have dominated the Flyers recently, both in the regular season and playoffs. So winning in their building is impressive.

It might have been even more of a one-sided game. Late in the second period with the Flyers up 5-3, Simon Gagne seemed to have scored a goal on a rebound but the puck was pulled out of the net by the goaltender. The on-ice officials ruled "no goal." There was a video review in the NHL's "War Room" in Toronto, but the call was not overturned because there was no conclusive evidence. A few minutes later, after the game resumed, Fox Sports Net Pittsburgh aired a replay that clearly showed the puck in the net.

The procedure for video review is that the networks televising the game feed the replays from all camera angles to Toronto, where they are reviewed. Since Comcast Sportsnet here used Pittsburgh's video feed for its telecast, it had nothing to send. Somehow the replay that showed the puck behind the goal line wasn't sent to Toronto by FSN Pittsburgh.

Now, after the fact, the NHL is investigating the network's failure to forward that particular video to Toronto:

It is not yet clear whether FSN Pittsburgh purposely excluded the angle or it was an unintentional oversight, though one Penguins announcer can be heard saying “we saved that one” on the broadcast.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

That comment could well have been a joke. My guess is that, even if someone purposely excluded sending that video, they won't admit it and probably nothing will come of it. A well-run league would institute safeguards to ensure that the "War Room" has every available video, but we all know the NHL isn't exactly a finely-tuned machine.

The Flyers, on the other hand, are now 7-1-1 in their last nine games and stand just one point out of the playoffs, with three fewer games played than 8th-place Montreal, and goalie Ray Emery is back with the team and available to play, having played with the AHL Phantoms on Saturday on a conditioning assignment. So things appear to be looking up again.

My 2010 Movie Grades

Just like I did for 2009, I'm going to use a post to keep track of all my movie grades for 2010...

A: Toy Story 3,
A-: Date Night, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, Despicable Me, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Social Network, Black Swan
B+: Daybreakers, She's Out Of My League, Kick-Ass, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, Going the Distance, Easy A, Love and Other Drugs, 127 Hours, True Grit, The King's Speech, Winter's Bone
B: Youth In Revolt, The Book Of Eli, Shutter Island, The Crazies, Death At A Funeral, How To Train Your Dragon, Get Him to the Greek, Predators, Salt, The Other Guys, Red, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Part 1, Megamind, Burlesque, The Fighter
B-: Valentine's Day, Alice In Wonderland, Hot Tub Time Machine, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Killers, Splice, Grown Ups, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Vampires Suck, The Switch, Paranormal Activity 2, Hereafter, Morning Glory, Tron: Legacy
C+: Cop Out, The Back-Up Plan, Iron Man 2, Eat Pray Love, You Again
C: Leap Year, Our Family Wedding, Repo Men, Shrek Forever After, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
C-: The Bounty Hunter, Life As We Know It, How Do You Know
D+: When In Rome, The Wolfman, Sex And The City 2
D: Legion, Dinner For Schmucks
D-: From Paris With Love, I Love You Phillip Morris
F: Due Date

Quick Review: Leap Year

I can't wait until same-sex marriage becomes commonplace nationwide. Why? Besides the obvious reasons, it's so that maybe we'll see the gay equivalent of movies like "Leap Year," in which Anna (Amy Adams), a woman with her own successful career and a four-year relationship with a seemingly good man goes nuts when an anticipated marriage proposal doesn't happen. Yes, goes nuts. How else to explain why such a woman would, on a moment's notice, fly off to Dublin (where her boyfriend is conveniently at a conference) to ask him to marry her, because her father (John Lithgow, in little more than a cameo) told her about an old legend that every February 29th in Ireland a woman can propose and the man can't refuse? I mean, we're now in the year 2010. From what I've heard, there's nothing to stop anyone of either gender from proposing to their beloved at any time. Unless, of course, both are of the same sex.

Anyhoo, Anna's flight is diverted by bad weather to Wales. She hires a boat to take her to Cork, but the boat is also affected by the storm and she ends up well off-course and needing a ride to get to Dublin before Leap Day. Declan, an Irish innkeeper in need of money (Matthew Goode), agrees to take her. There's a whole series of misadventures; they bicker the entire way but...well, you see where this is going. It's hard not to like Amy Adams, and Matthew Goode lives up to his surname, so to an extent you can understand why Declan and Anna would eventually start falling for each other. But Anna's so nuts because of the whole proposal thing, at some point any sane man would have left her on the side of a road somewhere. And Declan's continuing jabs at Anna ought to have driven her to find an alternate route. Then again, if people in these movies acted sensibly, the films would be really short. My grade: C.

Eagles...Speaking Of Debacles: The Sequel

You can't say I didn't warn you. The Eagles' stay in the playoffs was brief. Officially it lasted one game but for all intents and purposes they were done before halftime, losing at Dallas 34-14. The game wasn't even as close as that.

The only reason the first quarter ended scoreless was because the Cowboys kept committing penalties. They stopped themselves on two drives into Eagles territory and had to punt both times. But the Eagles' offense, so prolific most of the year, was completely useless -- they couldn't even string together more than four plays in any first-half possession and had the ball for only about 7 minutes.

Even when the Eagles tied the game at 7-7, the TD came on a 76-yard pass from Michael Vick out of the wildcat formation to Jeremy Maclin, and the scoring "drive" lasted two plays and 46 seconds. Their final two first-half possessions ended with turnovers. The defense, already shorthanded and struggling, wore down quickly and it was 27-7 by halftime. The entire second half was garbage time.

So Groundhog Day (the movie scenario, not the holiday) continues. The Eagles show signs of promise, make the playoffs, fall short of the championship. Change continues to be needed. Andy Reid isn't going anywhere, though, so the biggest question will be whether the Eagles will bring back Donovan McNabb. He's only under contract for one more season, but they may not want to risk 2010 with Kevin Kolb at quarterback. There are certainly pieces on offense. Do they want a less-experienced QB handling the offense? The defense needs help at every position, but particularly at linebacker (they can't just rely on Stewart Bradley's return from injury) and in the secondary.

A look at the 2010 opponents: besides the division opponents, the Eagles will have home games against Green Bay, Minnesota, Houston, Indianapolis and Atlanta, and road games against Chicago, Detroit, Jacksonville, Tennessee and San Francisco. Rumor has it that the San Francisco game may be the league's annual London game.

Doing Something Worthwhile For A Change

So I still haven't gotten a job -- I haven't even seriously looked lately; it's been so discouraging, with sending resumes and not even getting interviews, that I just needed to stop for a while. I have to admit I'm seriously worried about how I'm going to pay my bills.

In the meantime, though, I need to do something. I read this article in the Phila. Daily News today about the Campaign for Working Families and their program to prepare taxes for lower-income families, and decided to sign up and volunteer. I'm scheduled for a training session next week, followed by software training and IRS certification the next.

I hope it's something that I'll enjoy doing, besides the fact that it will help people, and who knows? Perhaps it will lead to, if not employment, at least some good karma.

Don't Wear Fur...Or I'll Shoot You!

From Towleroad comes proof that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has great timing, announcing a new anti-fur campaign featuring Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas and his tattooed torso (see photo at left). Arenas was just suspended indefinitely by the NBA because of...well, we don't know all the specifics, but: it's been alleged that he and teammate Javaris Crittenton pulled guns on each other in the locker room at Washington's Verizon Center over a gambling debt; there are law enforcement investigations into that as well as Arenas' storing guns in his locker, someting that was reported even before the more recent incident; and he certainly made fun of the whole thing last night in Philadelphia, pretending to shoot his teammates before the game (see photo below). What is PETA thinking, exactly? I know what I'm thinking...

Gilbert's got a gun
Gilbert's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
From thinking that guns are fun
What did Javaris do?
What did he put you through?

They say that Gilbert was just joking
They found guns in the locker room
But man, he's in trouble now
'Cuz David Stern has had a cow
He won't be ballin' any time soon...

My 10 Best (And 5 Worst) Movies Of 2009...

2/10/10 UPDATE: I've adjusted the list to add "Precious" to the top 10. This bumps the previous number 10 to 11. Sorry, Paranormal Activity!

While I certainly haven't seen every movie released in 2009 (some films I haven't gotten around to seeing, others haven't opened here yet), I've seen enough of them. To be exact, 77 of them. That's about 3 movies every two weeks. On average it ended up being a B-minus year. The movies I loved the most all got A or A-minus grades. The worst ranged from D-plus to D-minus. I somehow managed to avoid an outright F in 2009. Interestingly, the two best and the single worst all have George Clooney in common. It's possible that a 2009 movie I see in 2010 could work its way into the best or worst lists, but for now, here they are...

The Best!

1. Fantastic Mr. Fox - George Clooney and Meryl Streep, animated. Funny and smart.
2. Up In The Air - George Clooney, in the flesh. Ditto.
3. I Love You, Man - Paul Rudd (swoon -- see photo) and Jason Segel and their bromance.
4. Away We Go - One I was rather surprised to enjoy so much. Charming.
5. Bruno - The most hysterical movie of them all, but what kept it from the very top is that it's essentially Borat all over again.
6. (500) Days Of Summer - The most original romantic comedy of the year, if not the last few years.
7. Precious - Strong story, strong acting, and an ending that feels right.
8. Up - Pixar strikes again.
9. Julie & Julia - Meryl Streep again. Delightful.
10. Star Trek - I wasn't sure they could resurrect this franchise but they did it amazingly well.


Honorable mention (among the A-minus movies but not quite in the top 10): Paranormal Activity, Outrage, Humpday, It's Complicated

The Worst!

Dishonorable mention (among the D-plus films but not quite bottom 5): Sherlock Holmes

5. The Hangover - I know everyone loved it and it made zillions of dollars, but it left me cold.
4. Jennifer's Body - Tried so hard to be hip and turned out a mess.
3. All About Steve - Sandra Bullock had a great year -- thanks to The Proposal and The Blind Side, not to this dreck.
2. The Ugly Truth - Katherine Heigl needs better material if she wants to be a movie star.
1. The Men Who Stare At Goats - Only George Clooney saved this from the dreaded F.

All of my 2009 grades are here. If something's not on that list it's because I didn't see it. Agree or disagree with my choices? Is there something from 2009 still in theaters that I should see? And isn't Paul Rudd dreamy?

The "Mad Men" Theme Song

I had no idea there was a full-length version of the theme from "Mad Men." Turns out there's a hip-hop producer who goes by RJD2, and he did a record with a rapper named Aceylone; he then made an instrumental-only version of the album. One of the tracks, "A Beautiful Mine," was picked up by AMC and edited into that now-familiar theme. Love it!

I'm afraid to listen to the version that has the rap, though. That just doesn't seem right, after hearing the non-rap version so much. It would be like if someone added lyrics for the theme to "The Simpsons." (Speaking of which, remember their adaptation of the "Mad Men" opening credits for the 2008 Treehouse of Horror episode ? Embedding has been disabled, but you can go to YouTube to see it.)

You can listen to the full-length recording of "A Beautiful Mine" here.

Quick Reviews: The End-Of-Year Clearance

Last week I went to movies on four consecutive days. I'm pretty sure I've never done that before. I certainly haven't done it during the post-Christmas week, when theaters do major business thanks to people being off work and school.

I started off Monday with It's Complicated. Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin have great chemistry as a divorced couple who, on the occasion of their son's college graduation, find themselves in bed together and begin an affair. Problem: he remarried and she has another man (Steve Martin) who's into her. Particularly charming is "The Office" star John Krasinski as the future husband of Streep and Baldwin's oldest daughter. Much has been made of Baldwin's nude scene. It's not that horrendous, and it's not even him at any rate -- it's a stunt butt. Yes, he's older and gained weight, but Alec Baldwin is still rather irresistible. But let's remember him as he was (at left). My grade: A-minus.

Tuesday, in part because I got to the theater so early I didn't want to wait for what I planned to see, found me at Did You Hear About The Morgans? For a while I was wishing I hadn't heard about them. Unlike Streep and Baldwin, Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant are not a good match as the titular couple, successful New Yorkers who are separated because he cheated on her. Trying to win her back, he takes her to dinner. They witness a murder, are taken into protective custody and are whisked away to a small town in Wyoming. Oddly enough, I went to the restroom mid-way through and when I returned, for some reason I disliked it less. My grade: C-minus.

On Wednesday it was A Single Man, starring Colin Firth as a college professor, an older gay man mourning the recent death of his longtime lover (Matthew Goode, seen in flashbacks). It's 1962, well before the Stonewall riots set off a major push for gay rights, so things are much more difficult for him. Firth is excellent, as is Julianne Moore as his best friend who wants to be more than just friends. It's directed by fashion designer Tom Ford and, especially at the beginning, it looked too much like a fashion show or a perfume commercial with a lot of slick editing. Ultimately, the film as a whole was a little lacking, and the ending was hinted at much earlier. My grade: B-minus.

Which brings us, finally, to Sherlock Holmes. Guy Ritchie reimagines the legendary creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as an action hero in a buddy comedy starring Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as Dr. Watson. The flaws in this movie aren't in the acting but in the plot (about a villain who is executed but manages to come back to life and takes over a secret society with plans to overthrow the British government and eventually restore America to the British Empire) and especially the characterization. Holmes is still a brilliant detective, but he's also often boorish. Holmes and Watson spend most of the film bickering. Rachel McAdams is wasted as Irene Adler, the only person to ever outwit Holmes, here merely a plot device to set up the inevitable sequel. I can understand trying to make Sherlock Holmes more palatable to a modern audience, but Guy Ritchie botches the job. My grade: D-plus.

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 1-5-10 (Plus '09's Most-Played)

Today I reset the play count in iTunes -- every song starts with a clean slate. Which songs will, at the end of the year, end up as one of my Top 25 Most-Played of 2010? Probably none of them, I figure, since whatever new stuff I get between then and now will likely get the bulk of my attention. In the meantime, here's what was most played in 2009 and the first songs shuffled into my ears after the reset.

Most-Played 2009: Of course, not all of these songs were actually released in 2009, but if I really love a song I tend to play it a lot once I get it into iTunes. Lots of Lady Gaga, followed by Madonna, of course. Two songs are represented twice because of remixes, including the #1 song -- my personal song of the year!

1. When Love Takes Over - David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland
2. Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil' Wayne
3. Poker Face - Lady Gaga
4. Give It 2 Me (Paul Oakenfold Extended Mix) - Madonna
5. If I Never See Your Face Again (Feat. Rihanna) (Paul Oakenfold Remix) - Maroon 5
6. Shining Light - Annie Lennox
7. She's Not Me - Madonna
8. Just Dance (Tony Arzadon edit) (feat. Colby O'Donis/Akon) - Lady Gaga
9. American Boy (Soulseekerz remix) - Estelle
10. Fall Down (Spirit Of Love) - Tramaine Hawkins
11. Somebody's Watching ME - Mysto & Pizzi
12. I Remember (Vocal Mix) - Deadmau5 & Kaskade
13. Lovegame - Lady Gaga
14. Squeeze Me - Kraak & Smaak
15. Just Dance (Feat. Colby O'Donis) - Lady Gaga
16. Celebration - Madonna
17. When Love Takes Over (DJ eLLy Radio Edit) David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland
18. Step One Two - Kaskade
19. Dangerous Power (feat. Jan Burton) (Cicada Radio Edit) - Gabriel & Dresden
20. Paparazzi - Lady Gaga
21. Circus (Frisco & Lamboy Remix) - Britney Spears
22. The Screams Of Passion (Extended Mix) - The Family
23. Christmas Tree - Lady Gaga
24. You're As Gay As The Day Is Long - The Ralph Sall Experience
25. My Life Would Suck Without You (Chriss Ortega Club Mix) - Kelly Clarkson

Today's Baker's Dozen:


Get It Together-Seal
Sweet Lullaby-Deep Forest
The Night You Murdered Love-ABC
Gett Off-Prince
Cheating On You-Franz Ferdinand
Why Not Fly-Mark Weigle
The Happening-Diana Ross & The Supremes
(Gotta Get) A Meal Ticket-Elton John
Favorite T-The Lemonheads
Nothing Stays The Same-Nick Scotti
Song For The Lonely (Almighty Mix)-Cher
Hello Joe-Blondie
There's The Girl-Heart

Eagles...Speaking Of Debacles...

Over the last decade or so, we've seen the Eagles lose some games under unusual circumstances. Yesterday's 24-0 loss at Dallas, however, was different. They didn't lose because of two or three really dumb penalties, or because a guy kicked a 60-yard field goal as time ran out, or because they neglected to have a competent punt returner on the roster. Instead, they lost because they were outplayed at pretty much every aspect of the game. With so much to play for, it's hard to explain how they could be so awful. The defense was shredded and the offense was incompetent.

The scenario was perfect: beat the Cowboys and not only win the NFC East championship but get the second seed in the NFC playoffs -- giving them a week off followed by at least one home playoff game, possibly two if New Orleans loses their first playoff game. A much easier path to get to the Super Bowl, right? Instead, they're the sixth seed, no week off, no home games, and they have to go right back to Dallas to play the same team that just whipped them.

This is sort of what I was complaining about. Almost every year the Eagles make the playoffs and raise our expectations, only to end up letting us down (and not gently). There is little reason to expect the Eagles to win on Saturday night in Dallas, let alone two more road games and the Super Bowl after that.

Flyers Follow Up Classic With Debacle

The national overnight TV ratings for the 2010 NHL Winter Classic dropped 10.3 percent from last year's game, back to the figure achieved by the first New Year's Day outdoor game in 2008. It might seem surprising that the local ratings here were much lower than in Boston: while the game got a 14.4 rating and a 29 share there, in Philadelphia the rating was only 6/11, behind both the Penn State-LSU bowl game and (this is the shocker to me) the Mummers Parade.

I think there were two factors in the lower rating here, one being that the game was played in Boston. Had it been played in or near Philadelphia (such as at Penn State's Beaver Stadium, as has been proposed) there would have been a lot more local hype, which would have led to more interest. The main reason, however, has to be the season the Flyers are having, as evidenced by yesterday's ugly game in Ottawa.

The Flyers had a four-game winning streak snapped at Fenway Park on Friday, but they got a point since it went to overtime and they didn't play badly. They wasted a lot of scoring chances, botching 2-on-1 breaks a number of times. But they got away from what was working for most of the game, and when a questionable penalty call gave Boston a late power play, you knew the 1-0 lead wouldn't stand up. The Bruins' OT winner may have been helped by having too many men on the ice when they scored.

Still, it wasn't a bad effort. Unfortunately, they followed it up by allowing 4 first-period goals after taking an early 1-0 lead. The Flyers actually rallied to tie the game in the second period, but proceeded to give up 3 more goals in the third period to lose 7-4. I assume these guys were on the same line yesterday because the plus-minus figures are ridiculous: Claude Giroux -6, Simon Gagne -5, Mike Richards -4. It's games like this that lead me to be increasingly pessimistic about the Flyers' chances of even getting into the playoffs, let alone winning a Stanley Cup.

Wishing I Still Had HBO

Do you remember the actor who played Justin's father on "Ugly Betty" before they killed off the character? His name is Kevin Alejandro, and he's currently on the show "Southland" on TNT. Now he's also joining the cast of "True Blood" on HBO for its upcoming season. He'll play a love interest for a gay character on the show.

I haven't subscribed to HBO since shortly after "The Sopranos" ended, and haven't really felt like I was missing anything. Of the series they've run since then, none has interested me -- not even "True Blood," until now. If my financial situation improves between now and whenever the new season begins, perhaps I'll pick up HBO again. Being from HBO, there's always a chance of nudity. I wouldn't complain if Mr. Alejandro turned up naked on the show. Or at my house, for that matter.

A Couple Of Really Gay Items

The things you find on the Internet these days!

• The latest issue of the National Enquirer has a "Who's Gay and Who's Not?" article. Really. In 2010. We really should thank them for their diligence. Or just read the details here and not give them any money.
• Thanks to someone who used the Retweet feature on Twitter, I learned this from Aaron Carter:
  
  
  
  

  I have to give a HUUGE shout out to all MY• AMAZING - GAY fans and friends and family I love you all and your support means everything 2 Me!
  

  #AC2010 and Yes!! I MEANT all of the GAYS!! :) I love you GUYS, LADIES , & All of you!! :)
  

  My first thought was, "He has fans?" But he was on Dancing With The Stars. You can tell because the background on his Twitter page asks you to vote for him. (Someone's page could use a slight update.) And most of his other tweets are on the order of "Please buy my new record! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please buy my new record!" But who knows, maybe his heart is in the right place, so kudos to you, Aaron Carter. Kudos!
  
  
  Okay, gratuitous photo time. Aaron Carter once looked like this:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  And now he looks like this (although wearing clothes):
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

In Case You Didn't Know, It's Now 2010

I don't know if it's the rum and Coke I'm drinking (Coke Zero, to be precise) or the dance music on Sirius OutQ radio I'm listening to or what, but I feel compelled to write something. And not another movie review -- I've seen 4 movies this week, one per day, that I have to write up -- but something about the turn of the calendar to a new year.

I don't exactly have words of wisdom -- if I had it together that much I'd be gainfully employed and not burdened by a hefty credit card debt built up in the last few years. I don't have a Year In Review -- there are plenty of those all over the place if you feel the need. I don't have a Decade In Review, either. I'm a little like my friend Walt, from reading his most recent blog post, in which he says: "I suppose the point of most New Year's Eve blog postings is reflection on the year (or the decade) that has just passed.  I really suck at posts like that because my memory is terrible. Just awful. If it didn't happen in the last few days, it's all blurred into a great big giant heap of memory." And, again, there are plenty of articles looking back at the past 10 years. Besides, there are those who insist that the decade isn't over, because there was no Year Zero, so that the actual decade runs from 2001-2010, just like the current millennium started in 2001 instead of 2000. I am not one of those people. I respect their view but choose to ignore it.

I don't have Predictions For 2010 (or the next decade) -- there are, or will be, plenty of those all over the place as well. And I can't write about New Year's Resolutions because I don't make them. The only one I've made in the last few years is a silly, joking one: to sleep with a married man. Since there are now some places civilized enough to allow same-sex marriages, even in the USA, I suppose it should now be to sleep with a man who's married to a woman. But I digress.

So what do I want to say? I'm not that sure who's going to bother reading this. I know I don't have much of an audience here ("not yet, at least," he added, optimistically). I guess what I want to say (or what the rum and Coke Zero wants me to say) is that I hope 2010 turns out much better than 2009. I don't know how that will happen. Our world is, in many ways, a complicated and dangerous place. But, although it often seems like nothing more than a cliche, the start of a new year, whether or not it's the start of a new decade, always seems to bring the promise of a new day. (Good grief, I'm quoting Paula Abdul!)

So with that promise in mind, if you want your life to change, do it. Don't just talk about it. Do it. Do it, do it, do it. Stop talking about it and DO IT. It may not be, in the end, a change for the better, but how will you know if you don't try? (I guess this is as much a pep talk aimed at myself as at anyone else, but still, it's good advice, no?)

Happy New Year.