Yet Another Delayed Movie Post

Maybe I need to hire someone to write blog posts for me so there aren't these gaps between posts. Anyone want the job? Keep in mind that I can't afford to offer you actual compensation so you'd be, in effect, an unpaid intern. The good news is that some of these are Oscar nominees so if I work really hard this will be posted before the awards are given out.

Three late-year releases took on serious events in different ways. The Big Short tried to inject humor into the story of the 2007-2008 financial meltdown caused by Wall Street shenanigans and the federal government's failure to regulate the financial industry, with wry narration and interludes where celebrities explain financial concepts. The most-discussed of the latter is actress Margot Robbie in a bubble bath (playfully sexy if you're into women in bubble baths). Amusing, but ultimately what happened is still too confusing, and it fails to enlighten or enrage viewers into pressuring politicians to prevent another fiscal disaster. My grade: B-minus.

Concussion is much more earnest. The National Football League would have you believe this movie is a menace to the sport's existence. The real menace: the fact that as more and more players are discovered after their deaths to have suffered from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), parents may not allow their kids to play the sport, meaning the pool of talented athletes dries up. The NFL need not worry. The movie didn't have much impact. It's a good movie, but gets a demerit for depicting an incident involving ex-Eagle Andre Waters -- who killed himself and whose autopsy found he had CTE -- that didn't occur in reality. Despite Roger Goodell's awful record as commissioner, players beating women and children, killing dogs (and people, for that matter), fighting in bars, etc., and all the concussion worries, TV ratings and revenues continue to rise. The money will ensure the kids keep playing football. Unlike some of the financial institutions bailed out in the aftermath of the events in "The Big Short," the NFL may actually BE "too big to fail." My grade: B.

By far the best of these three is Spotlight, about the Boston Globe's 2001-2002 investigation into the cover-up by the Boston Archdiocese of sexual abuse by its priests. The film focuses not on the crimes themselves, but all the work the editors and reporters do to get the story published, even as their work on the project was temporarily derailed by the September 11th attacks. The film is superbly acted all around, and the story is so compelling. Yet it also makes me a little sad. Good investigative journalism requires dedication, passion, a desire to fight to find the truth -- and resources. Sadly, the state of the newspaper industry is such that we're going to see fewer and fewer reports such as this, unless the NFL wants to finance it. My grade: A-plus.

As for the rest...

Sisters was a little disappointing at first, even though Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are a winning duo, playing sisters throwing one last party before the house they grew up in is sold. It took quite a while into the film before I started seeing the humor in it. My grade: C-plus.

Joy is carried by the wonderful Jennifer Lawrence in the title role, telling the story (with some embellishments, naturally) of the woman who invented the Miracle Mop, among other items, becoming a QVC mainstay and a wealthy woman in the process. The film is really uneven, though. My grade: B-minus.

The first film I saw that was released in 2016 is Hail, Caesar!, a comedy with an mostly all-star cast from the Coen brothers set in the 1950s, when the Hollywood studio system still ruled, where "fixers" (in this film, Eddie Mannix, played by Josh Brolin) keep scandals such as pregnant, unwed starlets and homosexual actors under wraps. (Oh, the 50s! The era the GOP nuts want to take us back to!) It drags a bit at times but is mostly entertaining, especially the film-within-the-film segments. Do not miss the song-and-dance number starring Channing Tatum and a bunch of guys in sailor suits for a film called "No Dames!" My grade: B-plus.

Next time I do a film post: Deadpool!

Quick Review: 22 Jump Street

I know, I know, I saw this two weeks ago. I'm still trying to get back into the habit of posting. Anyway, "21 Jump Street" was one of my favorites of 2012. Seeing that Channing Tatum had a knack for comedy and that he and Jonah Hill really meshed as undercover cops masquerading as high school students to stop a drug ring was exciting. Unfortunately, I wasn't as enthralled with the inevitable sequel, the cutely-named 22 Jump Street (an explanation is in the movie). This was mostly because of the constant references -- to the actors, to the first movie, to the quality (and expense) of sequels in general -- in lieu of a more interesting plot. This is a very meta movie. Still, some bits worked and Tatum and Hill still go well together. Hopefully when the inevitable "23 Jump Street" is greenlit, they'll put a little more effort into a credible storyline. My grade: C-plus.

Quick Review: This Is The End

And now back to our regularly scheduled movie review programming. (I hope.) I expected a lot from the trailer for This Is The End and, unlike a lot of movies recently, this one mostly lived up to my expectations. A comedy in which the Apocalypse takes place is one thing. When it focuses on how this event affects Hollywood celebrities, that's another story. And when those celebrities -- James Franco, Seth Rogen, Craig Robinson, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel and Danny McBride are the stars, with many other cameos, from Rihanna to Michael Cera to Channing Tatum -- are playing exaggerated versions of themselves, it goes to the next level. Lots of raunch, but also lots of laughs and some meta commentary about the celebs themselves, their importance (or lack thereof), how they're perceived by the public and media, etc., and a little stab at religious beliefs (after all, the Apocalypse is happening). Had me laughing almost from the start to the finish. My grade: A-minus.

Quick Review: Magic Mike

It took me over a week after it opened until I finally got to see the much-hyped "Magic Mike."  After hearing so much about it, being somewhat loosely based on star Channing Tatum's experiences as a male stripper before he hit it big in Hollywood, and with Steven Soderbergh directing a cast that also included Matthew McConaughey, there was an expectation of a really intriguing tale -- while not skimping on the nudity, of course, given its "R" rating.

Unfortunately, there was no intriguing tale. Tatum's Mike, who strips and does odd construction jobs and such, is saving up to start his own business making custom furniture. He helps out a young slacker (Alex Pettyfer) by getting him work at the strip club (McConaughey plays the club's manager) while trying to get a relationship going with the guy's sister. Among the subplots is one involving drugs that plays into the main story, but none of it was very compelling.

I give full credit to Tatum for how his career is progressing. He's proven he can act some, and not just look pretty. His movies are now big hits at the box office. And he can dance, and not just for purposes of getting naked: the man can really move. McConaughey is fine as well, but Pettyfer's just a blank and the rest of the guys (including Adam Rodriguez, Matt Bomer, Joe Mangianello and wrestler Kevin Nash) are completely wasted, with nothing to do except dance. And the worst sin? The hyped nudity wasn't all that. The club scenes kept getting cut off just as they got good, or else there were just brief glimpses of performances. This entire movie was, after all the hype, a real letdown. My grade: C-minus.

Quick Reviews: Too Many Movies To Count

That headline isn't true. The count is eight. Eight movies I've seen between February 19th and yesterday. And I'm not allowing myself to watch my Sunday night TV shows until I finish this. Plus, I'm sick of the ticket stubs sitting here, on the table, mocking me.

These are in chronological order except for the first one, which was a 2011 release...

The Descendants: Really fine. George Clooney excelled, as (almost) always. Not too much rang false with me in this. I put it into my 2011 Top 10. See which movie got bumped from the list here. My grade: A-minus.

The Woman In Black: Started out really dull and never truly picked up in intensity. Neat twist ending saved this grade from being worse. I'm really loving Daniel Radcliffe, though. My grade: C-plus.

This Means War: Ugh. My grade: D-minus.

Chronicle: Surprisingly good. I can do without the silly "found-footage" genre, though. As if at every remotely important point in a story there's always -- ALWAYS -- someone with camera filming away. My grade: B-plus.

Silent House: Elizabeth "Not A Twin" Olsen shows signs of talent, but this...thing...was a joke. I figured out pretty fast what was going on. Thisclose to an F... My grade: D-minus.

21 Jump Street: As I tweeted after I saw it, I'm stunned by how good it was. There may be hope for Channing Tatum after all. My grade: A-minus.

Dr. Seuss' The Lorax: Nice adaptation, though I'm not sure the message didn't get muddled by all of the added details and characters, not to mention the songs, which didn't enchant. My grade: B.

The Hunger Games: Didn't wow me like I expected, based on the reviews and viewer comments. The take on "reality" television was eerily accurate to the point that I was aggravated, because that's what most "reality" television does to me. My grade: B.

Quick Review: The Eagle

No, this is not about one of the hundreds of leather bars named "The Eagle" in countless cities (although, strangely, not in Philadelphia, as we have the Bike Stop instead). This is about a movie. And not just any movie, but the one in which Channing Tatum had hot water scald his penis during filming. Now, I've found it difficult to pick out movies to see lately. Nothing really jumped out. One day I went to the theater and left without seeing anything. Another day I nearly broke down and saw "Yogi Bear" because someone told me it wasn't that bad. (Fortunately, it finally disappeared from my local multiplexes this weekend.) Finally, though, I broke down and bought a ticket to "The Eagle." And it wasn't that bad. Tatum, burned equipment and all, plays a young Roman officer in 140 AD who seeks to solve the mystery of what happened to his father's legion and its standard, the titular bird, both of which went missing in northern Britain 20 years before. After recovering from an injury that resulted in his being honorably discharged, he travels north, accompanied by a British slave (Jamie Bell), and into dangerous territory. Will the two bond during their journey? Will there be fighting and killing (as much as can be shown in a PG-13 movie)? Will there be plot twists? Well, sure. Will the Roman eagle be recovered? That would be telling. Will we see Channing Tatum's scorched member? No. But hey, you can't say he didn't suffer for his art. My grade: C-plus.