they're gone now. Our long national nightmare is over.)
Not quite. Just sample the headlines:
Honey Boo Boo Declares, 'Everybody's A Little Bit Gay'
Ke$ha: I had sex with a ghost
50 Cent tweets four-step plan to stop masturbation
Now, far be it from me to discourage Ke-dollar sign-ha from having ectoplasmic orgasms. I just dislike her and don't want to see her or hear about her. But for 50 Cent to cite the Bible as a reason to not masturbate while he's probably out banging groupies every night, well, that's unacceptable. Sorry, man-whore, but masturbation is all some people have. (Looks around nervously, walks away slowly...)
And the simple fact that my sacred blog has now been tainted by the inexplicable phenomenon/unadulterated mess that is Honey Boo Boo is reason enough. Come on, Mayans, put us out of our misery!