My Week In Comics 12-30-09

It's the last week of 2009, and from what I've read no books at all were supposed to be out this week, but DC Comics was kind enough to whip up some promotion for the comic shops to put out one new release...

Blackest Night 6 (of 8): ...and fortunately, it's one that I wanted. What I like to call the pseudo-zombies are still attacking, and things have gotten worse: not only have dead heroes and villains been turned into Black Lanterns, but heroes who had died and then returned -- including Superman -- have also been converted by black power rings. Two such resurrected heroes, Barry Allen and Hal Jordan, are also being chased by black rings. Barry being The Flash, though, figures out a clever way to outrun them. And a new twist is in play as each of the power rings wielded by the various Lantern Corps gets a duplicate; the new rings then hook up with people to wear them. The choices are most interesting. Although I haven't been so crazy about a lot of the tie-in books, this series continues to be a fun ride.

My Week In Comics 12-23-09

I had the strange idea of writing haiku about each one of this week's books, but it didn't pan out. Filing the idea away for the future...

Superman 695: There's a moment where, during a fight with Mon-El, Parasite gets a taste of Bizarro's powers and can't handle it; I found myself wishing Parasite would've broken out into Bizarro-speak. Later, Mon-El learns just how much General Lane has manipulated things against Kryptonians, but also learns that others are working to bring Lane down -- including someone who was supposed to be dead. Oh, and Mon-El has sex!

World's Finest 3 (of 4): This time the team-up features Supergirl and Batgirl (who track down Toyman and Mr. Freeze and learn just what they're up to); events take a turn for the worse, meaning the final issue will finally feature the big guns of the Superman and Batman "families."

Detective Comics 860: A satisfying conclusion to the story of how Kate Kane became Batwoman; and Kate learns the truth about her twin sister, confirming what I suspected three issues ago.

Green Lantern 49: I wasn't going to pick this up, even with the "Blackest Night" tie-in. Most of it deals with GL John Stewart's first becoming aware of the threat, but the last few pages actually picked up on a thread from the main series, so it seemed essential.

Gotham City Sirens 7:
See how Catwoman,
Ivy and Harley spend time
apart at Christmas.

(Got a haiku in after all! I'm the man!)

Victorian Undead 2 (of 6): Government agents have warned Sherlock Holmes not to investigate the strange events. You know, the zombies. Naturally, Holmes and Watson do not comply. By the way, from what I've heard so far about the movie, it sounds like Holmes fans such as myself will enjoy this miniseries much more. I'm going to try to keep an open mind, though.

Some Rambling Random And Shirtless Stuff

I've got a few things that popped through my head recently that fit into the TLFT (Too Long For Twitter) category, so I figured lumping them together into a single blog post would work...

• When did songs like "Sleigh Ride," "Winter Wonderland" and especially "Baby It's Cold Outside" become Christmas music? There's nothing about Christmas in any of them. I'm not complaining. Would the beautiful voice of Annie Lennox have ever been heard singing "Winter Wonderland" if not for the holiday connection? I just got to wondering how it happened. Who was the first person to link these songs to Christmas? A singer, record producer or radio DJ, perhaps?

• On Christmas morning there was still tons of leftover snow from the storm 6 days earlier. Except for the areas shoveled -- paths along the sidewalk, people's driveways and some parking spots, and the part of the street that was plowed -- snow was piled up all over the place. The next day, virtually all of it was gone. Thanks to a soaking rain that started Christmas evening and temperatures that soared into the 50s the next day, you would never know that we had 23.1 inches of snow (the official total, although in my neighborhood I think it was more like 14 or 15 inches, which is, believe it or not, a lot more manageable) a little over a week ago.

• Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals is my favorite non-Flyers player. I love the fact that he's not just a goal-scorer. He doesn't shy away from hard hits or complain to the referees about them (unlike a certain whiny Pittsburgh Penguin); in fact, he revels in the physical aspect of the game. It does concern me that some of those hits lately have trended towards being dirty, and he recently received a two-game suspension for one such hit. I hope he reins himself in enough without completely losing that component of the game. Meanwhile, he was kind enough to pose shirtless for a Russian publication. Should we be concerned that he seems to have a tramp stamp on his lower back?

• I have an ethical dilemma. Would it be wrong for me to wish that my TV would die? I really want to join the HDTV age but I can't justify the expense, especially with my finances in their present state, unless the old TV dies. It's over 10 years old now (I've had it at least as long as I've been in my house, if not longer) and stubbornly refuses to die! Is there any way I could throw a brick through the screen and make it look like an accident?
  

Merry Christmas!

I am about to shut down the computer for the night -- hard to believe, isn't it? -- to eat dinner, followed by what's become my own little annual Christmas Eve tradition: baking chocolate chip cookies for Christmas with the family tomorrow. Sorry, they're not made from scratch, just the store-brand version of Pillsbury's tubes of cookie dough. But they're still good! While baking I'll be listening to Christmas music, either on the radio or my iPod, and I'll squeeze in a few DVD or VHS recordings of holiday specials. I've watched some already the last two nights, and I won't get to everything in my collection, but I'll get the most important ones...

Watched: A Pinky & The Brain Christmas, It's A Wonderful Tiny Toons Christmas Special, Bugs Bunny's Looney Christmas Tales, Opus & Bill in A Wish For Wings That Work, The Year Without A Santa Claus (because I am a Heat Miser, as evidenced by my earlier Tweet), The Nanny Cartoon Christmas Special: Oy To The World

Plan to watch tonight: A Charlie Brown Christmas, Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not the Jim Carrey movie!), at least one of the Simpsons' Christmas-themed episodes through the first 12 seasons, the ones out on DVD (including the very first episode of the series, "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire")

Maybe next year: A Christmas Story, Scrooge (the musical starring Albert Finney), Animaniacs: Helloooo, Holidays!, A Muppet Family Christmas

So I leave you for now with this holiday classic. The video is tacky but I love the song:



Seriously, though, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, whichever one you celebrate. And have some chocolate chip cookies. They're really good.

Quick Review: Avatar

Except for his participation in a couple of documentaries, "Avatar" marks writer-director James Cameron's first effort since "Titanic." It's the future, and humans are in the midst of trying to mine a distant planet called Pandora for a substance called unobtainium. (When I heard that word my eyes were rolling. I thought it was something they came up with for this movie, but there's actually a Wikipedia page about the word.) They meet resistance from the natives, the NaVi, who are blue-skinned, maybe ten feet tall and sort of look like a combination of people and cats. Since humans cannot breathe in Pandora's atmosphere, "avatars" -- hybrids created with human and NaVi genes, controlled by people using some sort of mind-link -- are used to explore.

Naturally, the scientific component of the mission (led by Sigourney Weaver) is at odds with the combo corporate-military component (Stephen Lang as the corporal in charge of security and Giovanni Ribisi as the  corporate honcho). Jake Scully (Sam Worthington), a paralyzed former Marine whose DNA is compatible with the avatar of his deceased twin brother, is caught between the humans and the NaVi when, while controlling his avatar, he learns the ways of the natives with the help of a female NaVi, and develops feelings for her.

Most of the hype has centered around the advances in computer-generated filming technology that Cameron says finally allowed "Avatar" to be made. It cost a lot of money to create, and the 3D version I saw certainly looks impressive. I'd bet the non-3D version doesn't look bad, either. My problem is, there's this little thing called a script, and it needs work. Some of the hokey dialogue needs to go, the characters need to be a little more nuanced, and the plot needs to be a little less obvious. Also, the closing credits feature a song by Leona Lewis, which is so clearly a second cousin to Celine Dion's "Titanic" hit that it's painful. My grade: C-plus.

Sam Worthington is nice to look at, though, when he's not all blue and dragging a tail.

Quick Review: Up In The Air

Another excellent George Clooney performance sparks "Up In The Air." Clooney plays Ryan Bingham, who is a "corporate downsizer" -- the company he works for lays off workers for bosses who are afraid to do it themselves. In his spare time he's also a motivational speaker, with a pitch about a life free of heavy baggage -- including relationships. Bingham's life is one of constant travel, with little contact with family or friends, and as a result he's piled up a slew of points in frequent-flier miles, hotel rewards cards, etc.

Two things come along that threaten his way of living. He meets a woman (Vera Farmiga) who also does a lot of traveling, and begins seeing her at various stopovers; he becomes intrigued by the idea of making an actual commitment, even to the point of inviting her to his sister's wedding. Meanwhile, his company flirts with the idea of laying off people via videoconference instead of spending so much money sending people around the country. That idea comes from a new hire (Anna Kendrick), and Bingham decides that she should go out on the road with him to see what it's like to fire people in person. (Most of the people fired in the film are not actors, but people who were actually laid off in real life, and are essentially reliving the experience.)

The acting is fine all around, but Clooney is the anchor. He brings humanity to a character who would otherwise come off as unfeeling and unsympathetic. My grade: A.

Flyers TV Broadcast FAIL

I wish I had a way to capture the image -- stupid busted digital camera! Maybe on one of the replays (10 or 10:30 tonight on the Comcast Network or at 1:30 am on Comcast Sportsnet) someone else can do it. During a stoppage in play there was a promo for the Flyers Santa Sacks -- a gift package which includes 2 tickets to a game and other goodies -- and at the bottom of the screen the graphic read: "Order by 12/16 for holiday delivery." Yeah, I'll go back in time to do that.

Betty White As Santa!

From "The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" -- too funny not to share! Betty is fabulous!

Flyers: Unfathomably Bad

It's hard to believe a franchise that has always had a tradition of outworking the opponent has come to this: another embarrassing Flyers loss tonight (4-1 at home to Florida) followed by another players-only team meeting and more comments challenging the team's collective manhood -- tonight's quote from Ian Laperriere: "I'm mad, and hopefully my teammates are mad, too."

Since starting the season 12-5-1, the Flyers have a pitiful 3-13-1 record, and are just 2-7-1 since Peter Laviolette took over the coaching duties. They have the second-worst record in the entire league and are 7 points out of 8th place and the final playoff spot. They'd need to leapfrog 6 teams at this point to make the postseason. There are still a lot of games, but with points being doled out for losses in overtime and shootouts, it's that much tougher to pull away from a team, but also that much tougher to catch up.

This is a team that many people expected to seriously challenge for, if not win, the Stanley Cup. This type of effort is inexcusable. It's getting to the point where I can hardly watch any more. When the Panthers took a 3-0 lead 1:30 into the third period, I switched over to Monday Night Football (not that that game was any better).

This being Christmas week, I want to try and watch as many of my favorite holiday DVDs and videotapes as I can. Wednesday night, when the Flyers next take the ice (starting a 6-game road trip that includes what could turn out to be the worst New Year's Day Winter Classic in its three-year history), seems like as good a night as any to watch some of them.

My Week In Comics 12-16-09

Another quiet week last week, with just two books (and not particularly good ones at that). This week I've got 5 (possibly 6) on my list. It looks like the end of each month is when many of the series I'm buying regularly are scheduled.

Simpsons Comics 161: If you saw an episode of the TV show from 2007 called "Marge Gamer," in which Marge starts playing an online role-playing game, you've pretty much read this entire book.

Supergirl 48: Except for a bit regarding Lana Lang's illness, this issue (and the next) gets away from all of the exciting "New Krypton" plotlines entirely, in favor of Supergirl's encounter with Silver Banshee.

Lather, Rinse, Eagles Make Playoffs, Repeat

It's back to the NFL playoffs for the Eagles, for the 8th time in Andy Reid's 11 years as head coach. Today's somewhat lackluster 27-13 win over San Francisco clinched the postseason appearance. The Eagles remain one game ahead of Dallas in the NFC East, with two games left; first place in the division will most likely come down to the season finale in Dallas in two weeks.

For the Eagles, it's familiar territory. The only thing they lack is a Super Bowl victory. Five NFC title games, four lost; one Super Bowl appearance, a loss -- like so much with the Eagles, the song remains the same. Can they change the tune this year, the way the Phillies did in 2008? Because otherwise it's hard to get excited. The good news is that even the teams with the best records don't seem unbeatable (New Orleans finally lost for the first time last night, while Indianapolis hasn't lost yet but could have lost any number of games).

While the order of finish of the playoff teams is still in question in the NFC, there are only 3 teams -- Dallas, Green Bay and the NY Giants -- alive for the final 2 NFC playoff berths. In the AFC, on the other hand, only two teams have clinched the playoffs, there are two 8-6 teams in the Wild Card slots and six 7-7 teams right behind them.

Quick Review: Invictus

The casting of Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela in "Invictus" was certainly not unexpected. What is unexpected is the film in which he plays Mandela. It's not a straight-up biopic. Instead, it tells a specific story while touching on the entirety of Mandela's life, including his release from prison and rise to the presidency of South Africa. Shortly after becoming the nation's leader in 1994, Mandela attends a rugby game and notices that blacks in the crowd cheer against the South African team, the Springboks, seen as a symbol of prejudice and apartheid. With South Africa set to host the 1995 Rugby World Cup, Mandela sets out to change that, in order to help unite the nation, starting with a meeting with the captain of the Springboks, Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon). Needless to say, Freeman is excellent, as is Damon (who bulked up for the role to look more like a rugby player -- see photo). There's a somewhat predictable sports-movie aspect to the World Cup results, but it's offset by the fact that it's a true story and one I wasn't familiar with. My grade: B-plus.

I Hate Winter!

As I write this, the snow has yet to arrive in my neighborhood, but it's very close. The forecast estimates from the local TV stations (one of which is aligned with Accuweather), the National Weather Service and Phillyweather.net (my favorite site for reading about local weather) range from 8-14 inches to 15-25 inches. I can't stand this. I used to like snow when I was in school and when I was working, because there was the possibility of getting days off. Now, though, it is very unwelcome. It's messy, I hate having to shovel the steps and sidewalk in front of my house, I don't have any snow melt or rock salt or anything to keep the liquid from re-freezing, too many people in my neighborhood don't even bother shoveling or do such a poor job that they make it even more treacherous to walk on, it causes the buses to be even more off-schedule than they usually are...

In the last two years I've come to hate the cold weather (snow or no snow) even more. I want to be warm. I'm more comfortable when I'm warm. I can tolerate a heat wave. I can't bundle up enough to feel okay when it's freezing. I don't know if it has to do with the weight I've lost since late 2007, but I now feel like if I ever hit the lottery, I'd actually consider moving to a warmer location. I've never thought I'd ever want to leave Philadelphia but winters are getting to me more and more awful. Where's global warming when you need it?

Another Judgmental Right-Winger

I wrote this for the Outsports blog. Go and read it first, and then come back here for a little bit of additional commentary, which is more appropriate on this forum than on Outsports...

So we have a pro football player -- Chris Henry -- who died after falling out of the back of a pickup truck, apparently because of some sort of domestic dispute with his fiancée, and another pro football player -- Jay Feely, a placekicker, so to many he's not really a football player -- feels the need to go on Twitter on the very day Chris Henry died and say that "Chris Henry seemed to have turned his life around. But, you can’t live on the brink of destruction without inevitably falling off the ledge" even though there's nothing indicating that anything criminal happened. Just because Chris Henry was arrested a few times in recent years automatically means he was living "on the brink of destruction" even though everyone on his team says he turned his life around?

Awfully judgmental for someone who professes on his Twitter page to being a "Christian, with political aspirations." Oh, wait -- the online Sporting News profile I mentioned in the Outsports post lists two TV shows Jay Feely watches: "Hannity" and "The O'Reilly Factor." And surprise: Feely was on Hannity's show back in June and allegedly had some discussions as to whether President Obama is a "socialist Muslim."

It all makes sense. Another Faux News-worshiping right-wing nut who wants to tell the rest of us what to do. Fortunately I have no political aspirations and can't logically be described as much of a Christian, so it's easy for me to say that Jay Feely is a douchebag and if he ever suffered a career-ending injury to his kicking leg, I wouldn't exactly be heartbroken.

Paraphrasing Madonna: Halladay! Celebrate!

On June 3, 2009, the day after Roy Halladay struck out 14 Angels en route to his 9th win of 2009 (at the time that total led the majors), and well before the rumors and trade talks heated up, I posted the following in the Toronto Blue Jays thread on the Outsports.com Discussion Board: "Does Halladay have a no-trade clause? Is there any chance that he would be traded if the Jays are well out of the playoff race by the trade deadline? Preferably to a team that plays its home games in the 215 area code?"

Phillies fans, no need to thank me. Just doing my job. (Although gifts and monetary donations are always welcome.)

Essentially, the two trades the Phils made are in actuality a straight-up deal of Cy Young award winners: Cliff Lee for Roy Halladay. There's no way of knowing how the careers of the three prospects the Phillies sent to Toronto for Halladay, or those of the three prospects acquired by the Phils from Seattle for Lee, will turn out. All the "experts" can make projections but we won't know which players will succeed and which will fail for a number of years. So there's no reason to fret over that now.

Halladay, needless to say, is an excellent pitcher whose work won't suffer from coming to the designated hitter-less National League. Everyone wanted him last year but the Blue Jays' price was too high. The Phils then got Lee from Cleveland. Toronto had to trade Halladay in this off-season, knowing that no team would give up much without signing Halladay to an extension, and that Halladay wouldn't negotiate such a contract once spring training rolled around. So the Blue Jays lowered their asking price to something the Phils could live with.

I've heard a lot of complaints from callers to sports-talk station WIP that the Phils should have kept Lee even after getting Halladay. This is nonsense. Like it or not, the Phils are limited in how much they can spend. They spend much more than they used to, but they don't have the nearly infinite financial resources the Yankees and Red Sox have.

Lee was clearly bound and determined to test the free agent waters after the 2010 season and get a maximum salary in a long-term contract. Outside of a deal similar to, if not more expensive than, the CC Sabathia contract, the Phils weren't going to sign him. So, as great as Lee was after coming from Cleveland, and as exceptional as he was in the 2009 postseason, the Phillies had to do something. Halladay wanted to come here, to be on a team that has won two NL championships and a World Series in the last two years and looks to seriously contend for a few more years. And the Phils' spring training home of Clearwater is close to his home in Florida. The stars were in perfect alignment.

Halladay signed a three-year extension for a lot of money, but an amount the Phils figure they could fit into their budget. Lee was not going to do that. With the other large contracts they have (Cole Hamels, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard) and other players whose salaries will rise in the next year or more (Jayson Werth, Shane Victorino) there is simply no chance that the Phils could keep both Halladay and Lee, as much as the idea of such a dominating one-two punch in the starting rotation is enticing.

In essence, since there was an even exchange of prospects coming and going in these two trades, the Phils got Roy Halladay for the next 4 years, a few months' great work from Cliff Lee, and Ben Francisco for 4 minor leaguers (the number of players the Phils sent to Cleveland to get Lee). All in all, GM Ruben Amaro, Jr. did a fine job.This assessment may have to be adjusted if some of those ten minor leaguers involved in these trades become great major league players, but for now, well done.

My dream, about 6 1/2 months in the making, has come true.

You're welcome.

Quick Review: Brothers

We've seen many movies that in some way deal with our current wars come and go very quickly from the multiplexes. People haven't wanted to watch movies about the military conflicts Iraq or Afghanistan, no matter how good they may be. The latest is "Brothers," in which the siblings in question are played by Tobey Maguire and the super-adorable Jake Gyllenhaal. Maguire plays Sam, a Marine headed back to the war zone for his fourth tour of duty, leaving behind his wife Grace (Natalie Portman) and two young daughters. His brother Tommy (Gyllenhaal) is just out of prison. When Sam's copter crashes and he's presumed dead, Tommy steps up as a father figure to Sam's girls and becomes closer to Grace. Then Sam is rescued and returns home, traumatized from his time as a prisoner, and problems ensue as a result. The biggest problem with this movie is the fact that the trailers told most of the story. I almost didn't bother going to see it. Other than that, it's a solid movie, and it's doing decently at the box office. And did I mention that Jake Gyllenhall is super-adorable? As we see here, he bulked up for his role in the upcoming "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time." In "Brothers" there's one scene where he's wrapped in a towel after showering. Did I mention how super-adorable he is? My grade: B.

Poor, pathetic Chris Brown

It seems that singer/woman-puncher Chris Brown isn't happy that some stores apparently aren't giving his new album prominent displays. He posted on Twitter, according to the EW.com article:

“the[y] didnt even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself,” he wrote in a series of tweets over the weekend. “im tired of this s—. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f— do i gotta do.”
He continued: “im not biting my tongue about sh– else… the industry can kiss my ass.
WTF… yeah i said it and i aint retracting s–”
“we talked to the managers and the didnt even know anything. wow!!! but they had alicia keys album ready for release for this tuesday comin … the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF #GRAFFITI. BS.”

Well, boo-fucking-hoo, Chris Brown. You're too busy trying to rush back into your old life anyway. You shouldn't even be thinking about resuming your career until you've finished off your 180 days of community labor and your year of court-ordered therapy for the felony assault to which you pleaded guilty. The fact that some stores don't want to promote you is your own damn fault. Next time you have a new album coming out, don't beat up a woman beforehand and you won't have a problem.

My Week In Comics 12-9-09

Two books this week, one better than the other, and both featuring family reunions of sorts.

Action Comics 884: Definitely the one I liked more. The most interesting plot featured Lois Lane's being accused of treason and getting tasered by government goons, leading to her being reunited with her father, General Sam Lane, leader of the anti-Kryptonian operation. Seeing as how Lois is, unbeknownst to her father, married to a Kryptonian, it's safe to say that the Lane family has more issues than the family in "Everybody's Fine."

Adventure Comics 5: In the conclusion of the "Blackest Night" tie-in, Superboy-Prime is trying to fight off the Black Lanterns and decides that if he can't survive, before he goes he'll punish those he deems responsible for his plight -- the good folks at DC Comics, of course. There's a happy ending that would be rather lame, but the last panel of the last page hints at this not being the true ending to Prime's "Blackest Night" problem. And in the "second feature," there's another family reunion, that of a girl, her uncle, and a Superboy (not to be confused with Superboy-Prime) partially cloned from his DNA. Again, issues abound, since the uncle in question isn't originally from Krypton.

Quick Review: Everybody's Fine

In "Everybody's Fine," no one really is. Robert DeNiro is a recently-widowed retiree who, when all of his children cancel out on a planned visit, decides to go see them instead. Hopscotching across the country, he finds that when it comes to his kids, all is not as it seems. The acting (Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell and Drew Barrymore as three of the four siblings; the other is almost entirely unseen, for reasons that are explained as the film goes on) is fine, but my eyes were constantly rolling throughout. The movie telegraphs just about everything that's going to happen -- the fate of the missing son, what each of the kids is hiding from dear old Dad, the health scare -- and scenes that are supposed to be tearjerkers failed to get any moisture out of my eyes. And even some of the worst movies have managed to get me a little teary-eyed for a moment in recent years, a fact I am blaming solely on my advancing age. My grade: C-minus.

Quick Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

It's important to point out that if you didn't see the first "Twilight" movie, you'll be pretty lost. I did see the first one, and I liked it enough to see "New Moon," which starts out with the mopey joy of sooooo-in-love vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and his human girlfriend Bella (Kristen Stewart), until trouble erupts at the party Edward's family throws for Bella's 18th birthday. Edward's response is to break up with Bella. So much for love conquering all, eh? Bella is depressed but slowly comes out of it with the help of her friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Then Jacob turns into a werewolf...oh, enough. There was not so much action and way too much moping around compared to the first one, and characters' thought processes (such as what caused Edward to leave Bella) left me thinking that these people are kind of dumb.The so-called "Twi-hards" (is this the best nickname they could come up with?) will eat it all up. The rest of us have to settle for stuff like this...

 

This installment set up the whole "Team Edward" vs "Team Jacob" debate. The next sequel is scheduled for a June 2010 release. I'm not sure I'll pencil it in, though. My grade: C-minus.

On Tiger...and a TMZ guy (Bonus: they're shirtless)

I see and hear comments that people are tired of hearing about Tiger Woods and his big scandal. I'm not tired of it at all, surprisingly. I'm fascinated by it. I don't care so much about why he cheated on his wife because that's sadly commonplace, especially with men -- and especially with rich and famous and handsome men -- but why did he cheat with so many cocktail waitresses and wannabe "reality" TV skanks and "hostesses" and, if what's been reported is true, at least one porn actress? He's Tiger Woods. Can't he afford to find a higher quality of woman?

On the TMZ show the other day one of the TMZ people accidentally came up with a great word to describe the women Tiger's cheated on his wife with: "affairesses." That sounds so much better than "mistresses." They're having so much fun with Tiger on that show it's almost criminal. (Speaking of TMZ...the guy sitting on the car is Max, the guy who came up with "affairesses," if I recall correctly. He is a total surfer/valley boy type, which can be annoying normally, but he says such off-the-wall things sometimes that I kind of have a minor crush on him.)

Back to Tiger Woods. Now that the cat is out of the bag that he's a slut, I wonder if he's going to try and stay married or live openly as a man-whore? Either way his wife is going to get seriously paid -- whether it's in alimony or in "forgive me" gifts, following the strategy Kobe Bryant used on his wife after that little "incident" in Colorado.

And one other obvious point: this is more proof that the institution of marriage is in such pathetic shape that allowing same-sex couples to marry can only make it better, not worse. The ultra-right scum and ultra-religious freaks will never agree publicly, but deep down in their twisted hearts I think they know it's true.

My Week In Comics 12-2-09

...or, The Week of the Living Dead, thanks to two "Blackest Night" tie-ins and another book that I found in the store that became an impulse purchase.

Blackest Night: The Flash 1 (of 3): A fair amount of this book repeats events that took place in the main BN series, and a little bit of what is still taking place in the "Flash: Rebirth" miniseries, which should have been over by now but isn't, thanks to publishing delays. I'm not sure how much that will continue in the rest of this three-parter. Other than that, it's apparently going to feature the Rogues (Flash's enemies) vs. Black Lantern Rogues.

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman 1 (of 3): If this were a one-shot, that would've been fine. Wonder Woman vs. Black Lantern Maxwell Lord (the villain whose neck was snapped by Wonder Woman during the lead-in to "Infinite Crisis") at Arlington National Cemetery -- very well-written. The events at the end of Blackest Night #5 will apparently take precedence in this series as well, though. Still, if I'm buying issue 2 of either of these tie-ins, it'll be more likely this one than the Flash book.

Victorian Undead 1 (of 6): Enough of the Blackest Night pseudo-zombies -- it's time for the real thing! And they're in London -- in 1898! And none other than Sherlock Holmes is on the case! As a big fan of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stories, I'm not sure how I feel about the upcoming movie starring Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law as Holmes and Dr. Watson, but this book feels much more like the Conan Doyle stories. Other than the stuff about zombies, of course.

Superman: World of New Krypton 10 (of 12): This series is almost over. In this issue, a Kryptonian leader has been murdered, and special guest Adam Strange poses a valid (and unanswered question) about the missing suspect: "...it's a planet populated by people with x-ray vision...how is it none of you can find this guy?" Matters not, though, because DC has finally announced what all of this is leading up to in 2010: WAR OF THE SUPERMEN! I'm tingling with anticipation!

Simpsons Winter Wingding 4: A 48-page special featuring stories with a wintry theme. For starters, the Simpsons go green to the extreme -- and whatever happened to Mr. Plow's snowplow?

Flyers, Eagles, Sixers (Yes, Sixers!) Updates

The fun and absurdity continues on the local sports front. And this doesn't include the Phillies' participation in the baseball winter meetings, because there isn't really much going on there...

Having returned from his exile, Allen Iverson finally hit the court for the 76ers on Monday night. He was in the starting lineup, where he'll presumably be for at least a while. He got a huge ovation when introduced, and kissed the Sixers logo painted on center court. He scored 11 points in 37 minutes. It was a huge success, as they sold out the building and the crowd got to adore their hero. Not that the people cared, apparently, and not that management cares, because they finally sold some tickets, but the Sixers lost -- for the 10th game in a row.

Speaking of returning from exile, Michael Vick returned to Atlanta on Sunday, and the Eagles' afternoon was interesting. I expected it to be pretty close, since both teams were missing key players due to injury, but the Falcons were just awful. For a while it was close (13-0 at the half) because of some lingering Eagles ineptitude, but the game turned on the Eagles' goal-line stand at the end of the first half. The Falcons had 2nd-and-goal from the 1, tried to run it in on 2nd, 3rd and 4th down and were stopped each time. The second half the Eagles became more efficient, and they went on to a 34-7 win, with Atlanta not scoring until the final play of the game with the Eagles' defensive starters out.

Two of the second-half scores came from Vick -- a 5-yard run that made it 20-0 in the 3rd quarter, and then a TD pass that made it 34-0 in the 4th quarter. They were his first scores since getting out of jail. As for his reception from the fans, on both TV and radio (I was monitoring both) it sounded like a lot more boos than cheers the first time he entered the game. But when he ran for his score, and especially when he threw for the touchdown, it was mostly cheers. I don't know how much of that was Atlanta fans. The camera shots of the stands seemed to show quite a lot of Eagles fans in attendance from the start. I'd say that when it got to 27-0 the Falcons fans either started cheering for Vick or just left.

The win puts the Eagles (8-4) back into a first-place tie with Dallas, thanks to the Cowboys' loss to the Giants (7-5). The Eagles visit the Giants next week, and if they win I'd say the playoffs are pretty much a guarantee.

No such guarantee exists for the Flyers. Their first two games since firing head coach John Stevens ended in defeat, making it 9 losses in the last 10. Saturday night against Washington, new coach Peter Laviolette had to be wondering what he got himself into. With the score 1-1 in the latter part of the first period, Flyer Dan Carcillo (I'd call him a goon but really he's more of an idiot than the typical NHL fighter) managed to get 29 minutes in penalties and give Washington a 9-minute power play. The Capitals scored 3 times in that span and rolled to an easy 8-2 win.

Last night, in Montreal, the Flyers managed to hold the Canadiens to just 13 shots on goal in the entire game -- only one in the first 25:51. But Montreal managed to score 3 times on their 13 shots, and held the Flyers to just 15 shots of their own, gaining a 3-1 win.

Tonight, however, the Flyers actually managed to win! The 6-2 victory came over the New York Islanders -- the only team the Flyers beat in the previous 10 games. Unfortunately, there are two problems. One, with so many games on the schedule right now (4 games a week for a couple of weeks) there is little practice time available for the new coach to put his systems into effect. Two, the next nine games are against teams other than the Islanders.

Oh, make that three problems: goalie Ray Emery is having surgery to repair a torn abdominal muscle and will likely be out for 6 weeks. Oh, make it four problems: he's had the problem since November and has been playing with it, with the Flyers' knowledge. They've been trying to treat it without surgery until now. Considering how this team has had a number of players with similar abdominal and groin problems in recent years, I'm amazed Emery wasn't shut down sooner. I think it was irresponsible of the Flyers to let him keep playing.

Merry Christmas from Lady Gaga!

This photo of Lady Gaga was taken in London after a show called Capital FM's Jingle Bell Ball -- I assume Capital FM is a radio station, and the Jingle Bell Ball featured multiple artists, because that's what shows like this in the USA feature. The antlers are a nice touch, no?

Amazon.com has a "25 Days Of Free" promotion -- each day until Christmas there's a free download of a holiday tune. Yesterday's song was "Christmas Tree" by Lady Gaga featuring Space Cowboy. Download it here. If you love Gaga you'll love the song, but if you're more of the traditional Christmas music type, you might not enjoy it. You can listen to the entire track in the YouTube clip below -- there's no actual video, only lyrics.

Post-Thanksgiving coach curse hits Flyers' Stevens

An interesting trend has developed in recent years involving the Flyers' annual day-after-Thanksgiving matinee home games: one of the teams playing the game has fired their head coach for 4 years in a row.

In 2006 the Columbus Blue Jackets fired coach Gerard Gallant and eventually replaced him with former Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock, who made his Columbus debut at the Wachovia Center the day after Thanksgiving. The next year the Washington Capitals fired their head coach, Glen Hanlon, and Bruce Boudreau took over -- against the Flyers, the day after Thanksgiving.

Slightly going against the tide, last year the Carolina Hurricanes faced the Flyers in the Black Friday afternoon game, but they actually waited until December to fire coach Peter Laviolette.

This year's post-Thanksgiving game featured the Flyers and Buffalo Sabres, but in a twist, it wasn't the Sabres firing their coach. Instead, it was the Flyers, who fired John Stevens today -- and in another twist, Laviolette has taken his place.

Stevens seemed to be a promising choice at first. He coached the AHL Phantoms to a championship in 2004-05, and a number of players from that team have been Flyers since then. However, despite one strong run to the Eastern Conference finals, the team has been maddeningly inconsistent, as I mentioned last night. This year, with the additions of Chris Pronger and Ray Emery to a team that already had players like Mike Richards and Jeff Carter, expectations for a Stanley Cup run were very high. But the hot and cold streaks have kept this team from living up to their hype.

Last night, after their dismal 3-0 loss to Vancouver, I wrote the following about the Flyers' recent stretch: "This is the type of thing that should get a coach fired. The sooner it happens, the better off the Flyers will be." It should be noted that another highly-touted team, Pittsburgh, struggled mightily for a good part of last year. The Penguins then made a coaching change and promptly won the Stanley Cup. And Laviolette won a Cup with Carolina in 2005-06. So, less than 24 hours after I wrote that, the Flyers are instantly better off. I wish I had such power over other matters.

No answers for Flyers either

While the 76ers have taken center stage in the last few days, the other tenant of the Wachovia Center needs some attention. The Flyers' season has gone like this: 3 wins in a row, then 0-2-1, then 2 wins, then 2 losses, then a stretch of 7 wins in 8 games, and now their current stretch of 6 losses in 7 games, including being shut out in two consecutive games.

What's worse is that they've been this inconsistent pretty much since John Stevens took over as coach, and it hasn't improved. They have injuries, but not to their most important players. This week there's been talk about the team's leadership. Tonight's game against Vancouver was looked at as almost a must-win game, but a 3-0 loss to a Canucks team that played a tough game last night while the Flyers had 4 days' rest leaves the Flyers in 10th place in the Eastern Conference. If the season ended right now, besides the lost revenue from so many unplayed games, the Flyers would miss the playoffs.

Even worse are these comments by the Vancouver TV announcers during tonight's game (as posted to a Flyers' message board): "Un-Flyer-like...No puck support...The players look like they are playing in isolation, not as a team...There's no passion, no emotion, on that [Flyers'] bench...I'm surprised it took the fans this long [third period] to start booing...Under Stevens, this [Flyers] team is only consistent in being inconsistent...This [Flyers] team is too talented to play like this."

This is the type of thing that should get a coach fired. The sooner it happens, the better off the Flyers will be.

Is The Answer really the answer for 76ers?

You may have heard that the 76ers have signed Allen Iverson to a contract. The same 76ers who told him to stay home before trading him to Denver in 2006, having tired of a decade of drama -- the "We're talkin' about practice!" rant, the ball-hogging, the clashing with coaches, the occasional off-court incident -- now have decided to bring him back.

Iverson provided a lot of excitement over the years to go along with that drama, but he's now 34 years old. From all reports he isn't quite at the elite level he once was. He still thinks he is, however. That's why he ended up unemployed and temporarily retired after dismal stints in Detroit and Memphis (the latter lasting three games), as those teams wouldn't give him the amount of playing time he felt he deserved.

In his press conference today Iverson said all the right things, such as "All I told (GM Ed Stefanski) was give me an assignment and I will help you win basketball games." But when he hits the court, will those words be forgotten? What happens when guard Lou Williams, out eight weeks with a broken jaw and whose absence is ostensibly the reason the Sixers signed Iverson, returns? The Sixers have been emphasizing giving their young players experience in order to become a better team in the long run. Will Iverson accept playing fewer minutes? He hasn't the last two years.

And with a team who, under new head coach Eddie Jordan, is still trying to learn to play the Princeton offense, an offense that requires lots of passing, how is Iverson going to fit in? He's never been known for spreading the ball around. What happens if Jordan sits Iverson for longer stretches because he doesn't fit the system? Or, worse, what if Jordan revises the system to fit Iverson's needs?

I don't really see this working. To me, there is only one valid reason to bring back "The Answer," and if the Sixers were honest they'd admit it: they want to sell tickets. The team is 5-14, they've lost 8 in a row, and they're next-to-last in the entire NBA in attendance. They've been an afterthought in the minds of the sports public. But since word first broke that they were interested in Iverson, suddenly they're garnering a lot more pages of coverage in the papers and many more calls on sports talk radio (not to mention getting me to write all of this -- I hardly ever watch the NBA).

And the excitement provided by "The Answer" on the court in his first stint here has seemingly made a lot of fans nostalgic. Reports are that tickets are selling fast for their home games next week, when Iverson is expected to make his debut.

The problem is, historically the 76ers have not had as loyal a fan base as the Eagles and Flyers. If they're not winning they have trouble drawing big crowds. Even with Iverson, when the Sixers struggled after their peak of reaching the 2001 NBA Finals, attendance started to drop. Barring a miracle, bringing back Allen Iverson is a temporary solution -- both on the court and at the box office.

Joe Millionaire: Most-Watched TV? Really?

One of these things is not like the other...this is a list of the top 10 TV episodes of the decade.

1. Friends, “The Last One,” May 6, 2004 — 52.5 million
2. Survivor: Borneo, “Season Finale,” Aug. 23, 2000 — 51.7 million
3. Joe Millionaire, “Season Finale,” Feb. 17, 2003 — 40 million
4. ER, “All in the Family,” Feb. 17, 2000 — 39.4 million
5. American Idol, “Minneapolis Auditions,” Jan. 16, 2007 — 38.1 million
6. Grey’s Anatomy, “It’s the End of the World,” Feb. 5, 2006 — 38 million
7. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, May 3, 2000 — 36 million
8. Frasier, “Something Borrowed, Someone Blue,” May 18, 2000 — 33.7 million
9. Everybody Loves Raymond, “The Finale,” May 16, 2005 — 32.9 million
10. Spin City, “Goodbye,” May 24, 2000 — 32.8 million

The "Joe Millionaire" entry just sticks out like a sore thumb, doesn't it? You didn't think "reality" TV could get worse in 7 years, did you? And whatever happened to that Evan Marriott guy, anyway? Gay-for-pay porn? Country music singer? Ballpark hot dog vendor? Judging from the picture, I'm guessing porn...

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 12-2-09

It scares me a bit that iTunes added a Christmas song to the mix just because I re-selected my holiday music to add it to my iPod. It's as if iTunes knows it's December or something! There's also a bit of a Motown trend, which doesn't scare me at all.

Right In The Middle (Of Falling In Love) - Bettye Lavette
Can't Get Enough Of You Baby - Smash Mouth
Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor
Fame - Eurythmics
Take Me Home (Rap) - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam
Surrender - Diana Ross
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (Frisco Disco Mix) - Sandra Bernhard
Remember Why (It's Christmas) - Alexander O'Neal
Got To Give It Up (Pt. 1) - Marvin Gaye
Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder
Sweetmeat - The Soup Dragons
Dedicated To The One I Love - The Mamas & The Papas
Who Will Save Your Soul - Jewel

My Week In Comics 11-25-09

I've got eight books to write about. This is a bit much. I'm going to try something: writing just one pertinent sentence about each one.

Superman 694: Mon-El returns to Metropolis with a new uniform, new way of talking...and a new attitude!

World's Finest 2 (of 4): The Guardian and Robin take on Parasite and Mr. Freeze, and the new Robin is just as much a snot-nosed punk in this book as he is in the Batman books.

(Hmmmm...I kinda like this one-sentence deal...)

Detective Comics 859: Continuing Batwoman's origin story, this issue features lots of girl-on-girl action and the disgrace of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell military policy -- with gay activist Lt. Dan Choi getting a credit for "his generous assistance in research for this issue." Presumably not on the parts featuring girl-on-girl action.

(Dammit, that's two sentences! Curse my snarky attitude!)

Green Lantern 48: There's a note at the start that says "This takes place before Blackest Night #6," which is odd, because it also takes place before Blackest Night #5, which came out the same day...

Blackest Night 5 (of 8):...and sees the battle get worse as Batman's skull temporarily gets a body and a Black Lantern ring, leading to Superman and a bunch of other previously-dead heroes transformed, and not in a good way.

(There, one sentence for two books! I'm back on track!)

Superman: Secret Origin 3 (0f 6): This new version of the arrival of Clark Kent in Metropolis (which is grittier and a tad meaner than it's usually depicted, with a Daily Planet that is in pretty sad shape) manages to not quite feel right and at the same time borrow from the first Christopher Reeve "Superman" movie.

Gotham City Sirens 6: The girls finally dispose of ex-Joker henchman Gagsworth A. Gagsworthy, a.k.a. Gaggy(!?!), with the help of their carpenter and, in Harley Quinn's case, knowledge gleaned from Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Futurama Comics 46: Planet Express delivers a package and wacky adventures occur...and occur...and occur...it's like it's a book-length Möbius (comic) strip.

Quick Review: Fantastic Mr. Fox

The title character in "Fantastic Mr. Fox," the stop-motion animated film based on the book by Roald Dahl, is voiced by George Clooney. It's a brilliant bit of casting. As much as possible with an animated movie, George Clooney was born to play Mr. Fox, who retires from raiding chicken farms at the behest of his pregnant wife -- only to be tempted to go for a big score when, later, the family moves into a tree close to the huge Boggis, Bunce and Bean farms. Meryl Streep plays Mrs. Fox, and she's good in everything, of course. Also in the film are Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman -- not exactly a cast of unknowns. Funny, charming and smart, this is another animated film that kids and adults alike can enjoy. It pretty much lives up to its title. My grade: A.

Another friendly reminder: at this link you'll find the list of grades for all the movies I've seen in 2009 (Good grief, I'll have to start one for the new year soon!)

Quick Review: The Blind Side

One thing that I tend to wonder about when I watch a movie that's based on a true story is how much artistic license was taken when transforming the story into a film. "The Blind Side" is based on a book of the same name by Michael Lewis ("Moneyball") and tells the story of Michael Oher's journey from poverty to rich NFL player. Some of what is depicted in the movie (such as Oher's "younger brother" taking charge of Oher's football drills and dealing with the college coaches out to recruit Oher to their school) had me wondering a lot. It didn't really ring true. However, the essence of the story -- about Oher's being accepted into a private Christian school in Memphis despite a very poor track record in his previous schools, being taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy and eventually becoming a star high school and college football player en route to the NFL -- holds together. Sandra Bullock dominates the movie as Leigh Anne. It's a change of pace from her many romantic-comedy roles, and she does an excellent job. Bullock and Tim McGraw, as Sean, make a good on-screen couple. If you're not a sports nut like I am, there's not a terrible amount of football action so don't let that keep you away. My grade: B.

Technical TV Question

I'm watching a hockey game between Chicago and Columbus. (Columbus is coached by Ken Hitchcock, who used to coach the Flyers and is sorely missed at the Wachovia Center right now, but that's another story.) The game is being shown on Versus. During a commercial, I flipped over to the NHL Network to check out "NHL On The Fly," their nightly highlights and analysis show. During the show, they do live cut-ins to hockey telecasts around the league. After a moment, they happened to do a cut-in to the Versus telecast.

So I flipped back and forth a bit to compare, and that leads to my question: why is the Versus picture quality so much better on the NHL Network than it is on Versus itself??? The picture on the NHL Network is brighter, sharper and clearer. Versus is owned by Comcast, which is about to close out a deal to buy NBC Universal, making them even more of a major player in the TV industry than they are now. They paid the NHL to show games on Versus as part of a strategy to challenge ESPN for TV sports supremacy. That hasn't happened. Maybe one reason is picture quality?

Well, not really. I just think the picture should look better.

Obama, The Gays, The Future

On November 4th, the day after Election Day, I was looking at Twitter -- okay, that's nothing earth-shattering, I know -- and I saw the following tweets from one of the accounts I follow, PhilthyBlog:

A year ago today I was EXCITED about an Obama Presidency, and fucking PISSED about Prop 8...

A year later and the only "change" is that gays have lost the right to marry in ANOTHER state... WTF Maine?!?!

You'd think the first black President would champion civil rights and be the national voice calling for equality... SO. FUCKING. SAD.

Thoughts swirled into my head. Actually, some of these thoughts have been in my head for some time, but I thought I'd lay the whole thing out...

First of all, back when the 2008 presidential primaries were just getting under way, I was leaning towards Hillary Clinton. I felt that she would be more likely, if not better able, to fight back aggressively against the attacks by the Republican party. I really didn't feel Barack Obama would be able to win in November. Obviously, I was wrong there.

However, I also had another concern about Obama. I worried that even if he was elected, his presidency would turn out to be more like that of Jimmy Carter: full of promise but ultimately ineffective and leading to a GOP victory after one term. So far, just about a year into the Obama presidency, that concern has not faded.

I feel that Obama has been much too soft on the GOP. This is not the time to play around with bipartisanship. The Republicans have no interest in bipartisanship. They gave up on that long ago. Their sole intention is to get their way, no matter what ugly tactics they need to use. Their only strategy is to block anything that runs counter to their dual agendas: continuing to allow the rich to get richer and to hell with the rest of us, and turning their warped religious beliefs into laws. They aren't remotely willing to compromise. What they want is to win, and then to dominate. All they want to do right now is say "no" to anything the Democrats have to offer. They have no proposals for how to solve the nation's problems except for the same failed policies they've supported over the last 30 years.

The complete insanity of the right wing -- the "birthers," the "death panel" nuts, the "tea party" nuts, Sarah Palin -- should have been countered easily enough. Almost no one in their right minds should fall for this, but the slow start by the new administration allowed this lunacy to gain a foothold, and served to help the GOP, if only as an ongoing distraction.

Look at what's going on now with the health care "reform." The system now is broken, the best available route to start the process of fixing it includes a public option, most people in survey after survey after survey support the public option, yet it likely won't happen because of the lack of guts of the President and the Democratic leadership in Congress. If a bill passes, it won't be nearly enough.

When it comes to dealing with what I like to call the RepubliScum party, candidate Obama talked a great game. President Obama hasn't nearly lived up to those words.

Certainly, Obama inherited a complete mess from the Worst President By Far In U.S. History. Between the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and the economic meltdown, I find it hard to make a case that he should be spending more time (and political capital) on issues such as ending the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy and the repeal of the federal Defense of Marriage Act. But when he does speak out on gay issues there's a sense that he's pandering. The actions of the administration (and the story I've linked to in this sentence is just the most recent example) have, again, fallen short of the words.

All of this criticism should not be taken to mean I don't like or support President Obama. Especially when considering the alternative, there's no question about my vote every November. Until the GOP is no longer dominated by the hard-right, ultra-Christian factions, no GOP candidate in any election will get my vote. But Obama needs to do better.

Meanwhile, about the fight for equal rights -- same-sex marriage, benefits, legal rights, etc., here's the good news: as time rolls on, the fight for equality will be won. Sure, people are upset and distressed about Prop 8 in California and Question 1 in Maine and how a majority of voters chose to take away equal rights and so on. However, think how far we've come. It wasn't too long ago that even considering the possibility of same-sex marriages was ludicrous. There were fights to even get domestic partnerships in place. We've made massive progress in a very short time. And same-sex marriages have occurred in some states for a while now, and none of the negative effects on marriage and society (as spewed by the ultra-Christian liars) are actually happening. This will serve to pave the way in the rest of the country.

Another factor, which is even more telling, is youth. Young people are much more supportive of equality. They're growing up in an atmosphere of more information, more knowledge, more visibility, and that's helping them to see through the hatemongering and bigotry. The people who are trying to prevent progress tend to be older. Their numbers will dwindle as they get older and eventually die. They're dinosaurs, and they're slowly becoming extinct.

Those elections in California and Maine were close. Sooner than anyone could have imagined, those losses will become victories, and more will follow. The fight for equality will be won. It may not be as soon as we'd like. But it will be won.

Adam Lambert and TV Network Lunacy

So let's sum this up: on Sunday ABC televised the American Music Awards. The show ended with a performance by Adam Lambert. It was wildly over-the-top in his sexual acting-out, including simulated oral sex, among other things. The mildest part of the whole thing was probably when he kissed his keyboardist, another man.

Then the morons took over. ABC canceled Lambert's scheduled Wednesday performance on "Good Morning America" because they were afraid of more of the same. CBS eagerly snapped him up to perform on "The Early Show" the same day, and interviewed him about the controversy. While doing so, they showed a clip from the AMAs, and CBS blurred out the kiss between Lambert and his keyboardist. Moments later, they showed footage of Madonna kissing Britney Spears from the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards -- unedited.

What we have here are two networks so afraid to alienate part of their dwindling audience that they made utterly stupid decisions that end up alienating another part of the audience -- the part with working brains. The broadcast networks are a shell of their former selves anyway. Where there were once only three networks and some independent stations, there are now hundreds of cable networks, the Internet, DVDs, iTunes, cell phones that play video, and so on. The audience is fractured, probably forever. So it behooves a network to not give in to foolishness, to not be conservative and boring. To stand out in the crowd it takes boldness.

ABC struck out by canceling Adam Lambert's GMA appearance without, oh, contacting him on Monday or Tuesday and saying, "Hey, Adam, we loved what you did on our awards show. The ratings were up, which we're grateful for. But that type of performance wouldn't really go over at 7 a.m., you know? You probably know that, so you'll tone things down, right?"

CBS struck out by displaying hypocrisy. It's okay to show two women kissing, but not two men? Double standard much, CBS? Let's refine the question. It's okay to show two straight women kissing each other, but it's not okay to show two men, at least one of whom is gay, kissing?

Two network dinosaurs, slowly dying. With decisions like these, they won't be missed.

Quick Review: 2012

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel...well, not exactly fine, but I survived. After seeing "2012" director Roland Emmerich create so much devastation in movies like "The Day After Tomorrow" and "Independence Day" we pretty much know what to expect here: death and destruction on a massive scale, hokey dialogue, lots of cliches, bad characters who mostly get what's coming to them, good characters (both lucky and plucky) who mostly survive, and a hideous song in the soundtrack (in this one it's "Time For Miracles" by Adam Lambert). The highlight for me (besides all the destruction, of course) was Woody Harrelson in a small role as a conspiracy nut whose ravings about how the Mayans predicted coming disaster help persuade a not-too-successful writer (John Cusack) just in time to rescue his kids, his ex-wife and her boyfriend as massive earthquakes begin destroying California. It doesn't seem like the type of movie John Cusack should star in, but we all have to make a living, I guess. Essentially, I've seen worse. And Roland Emmerich is openly gay according to his Wikipedia page, so there's that. My grade: C-plus.

My Week In Comics 11-18-09

I picked up two more "Blackest Night" tie-ins, and for the next few weeks there are free rings being given out with the purchase of certain of these books. I am now the proud(?) owner of a blue and a green ring. Unfortunately, unlike the power rings in the comic books, my rings don't do a damn thing.

Superman/Batman 66: One of those "Blackest Night" tie-ins. However, it doesn't even feature Superman or Batman. Instead, we get Bizarro (who inexplicably shows up in Gotham City), Man-Bat, some other characters I'm not familiar with but two of them are apparently Frankenstein and The Bride, and Black Lantern Solomon Grundy. Please let me remember to not buy the conclusion of this next month.

Adventure Comics 4: The other "BN" tie-in stars the villainous Superboy-Prime. The end of "Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds" left him back on Earth-Prime, which is supposed to be the Earth where you and I live, reading the same comics books we're reading. So he's reading Adventure Comics No. 4 and finds out that Black Lantern Alexander Luthor arrives to kill him. Naturally, he goes to the comic book store to read Adventure Comics No. 5 to see how it ends. Isn't that what you would do? Of course, Adventure Comics No. 5 isn't out until next month, so Superboy-Prime has a serious problem...

The Flash: Rebirth 5 (of 6): I probably mentioned this before, and probably in relation to the last issue of this miniseries, but because it's been delayed I hardly remember what transpired in the previous issues, which takes away from my enjoyment of this book. I hope the final issue is released in a timely manner. If I go back and re-read the other issues maybe the whole thing will make sense.

Supergirl 47: Supergirl has taken Reactron back to New Krypton to stand trial for the murder of Zor-El, but some Kryptonians want him dead without bothering with due process. How will Alura, acting leader of New Krypton and Zor-El's widow, handle things? Interesting stuff.

Simpsons Comics 160: The format is similar to "Treehouse of Horror" and other recent episodes of the TV series such as "Simpsons Tall Tales" -- short stories are presented, united by a theme. In this case it's stories involving the family pets (even Plopper, a.k.a. Spider-Pig!) spoofing things like "Jumanji" and "Charlotte's Web."

Quick Review: Pirate Radio

I'm sure I'm not the first to say this, but the best part of "Pirate Radio" was the soundtrack. Originally called "The Boat That Rocked" when it was released in the UK, the new title plainly spells out the subject matter. In the mid-1960s, to counter the BBC's lack of rock music airplay, pirate radio stations sprung up to fill the void, broadcasting from ships located in international waters. The movie tells the story of a fictitious station, Radio Rock, and various subplots involving those on the station's boat, including DJs (among them an American played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, hamming it up), other station personnel, the ship's lesbian cook, and the young godson of the ship's captain, sent there by his mother after being expelled from school. While all this is going on, a government minister (Kenneth Branagh, also hamming it up), extremely offended by the station's antics, tries to find some way to shut down the station. It's amusing at times, but ultimately kind of a mess, and takes a ridiculous turn after the Branagh character's assistant finds a way to persuade Parliament to enact a law banning the stations. This boat may not rock so much, but the music definitely does. My grade: C.

Adam Lambert: Going Down?

Since I was watching the football game last night, I missed Adam Lambert's performance on the American Music Awards when it aired, but caught up with it via YouTube. Watching it on the computer was not the best venue, but from what I've read the sound mix on the TV broadcast was poor so it certainly wasn't improved by listening through my PC's speakers. Having said that, between last night and the times I've seen him on American Idol, that was the weakest vocal I've heard from Adam Lambert. The rest of it -- the simulated oral sex (pictured) and the rest -- was just so over-the-top that it wasn't sexy, which was what he promised it would be.

I'm not complaining about it, unlike the assorted prudes and right-wing nuts. I just wasn't that entertained. Considering that this was his first major post-Idol performance, I can't help but think it wasn't the best route to promote the new album. On the other hand, it makes the Out magazine editor who felt Adam wasn't being gay enough look like even more of an idiot.

Entertainment Weekly had two different takes on it, both pro and not-so-pro.

I'll Take Housecleaning For Nothing, Alex

As it turns out I'm not having a houseguest after all. My friend managed to find accomodations that are more convenient for him. While this means my own little routines won't be disrupted (and I don't have to worry if I happen to run downstairs while naked), it also means that I cleaned up my house for no good reason. That is, if you don't count "because you should have a clean house anyway" as a valid reason.

Feel free to make your bets about the date I next run the vacuum cleaner.

Eagles Show Some Life

I mentioned in my "Coming Attractions" post that the Eagles were a combination of frustrating and boring. The frustrating part is obvious: inexplicable losses caused by the same problems over and over -- poor clock management, wasted timeouts, wasted replay challenges, a cavalcade of penalties, inconsistent quarterbacking, atrocious playcalling, mediocre special teams coverage, subpar punting, failure to make proper in-game adjustments, failure to overcome 4th-quarter deficits, failure to win close games, failure to score touchdowns in the red zone, failure to convert on third-and-short...what have I forgotten?

The boring part is that many of these problems have been occurring for just about the entire Andy Reid era, and have been discussed and discussed to the point where I can't stand listening to it. He is not going to radically alter what he does. Sure, for an occasional game the Birds will run the ball more often, but it will never be a long-term change. And he's not going anywhere soon (the Eagles are likely to give him a contract extension before much longer). I'm just tired of it. It's almost impossible to keep hearing and reading and seeing the same old things. Some people call for Reid and/or Donovan McNabb to go; others defend one or both, and so on. Round and round it goes, and where it stops...well, it never stops, does it? Thank God for the Phillies' success the last two years, because otherwise this ongoing Eagles discussion would be enough to make me jab my eardrums with an icepick.

Having said all that, the Eagles broke the mold a bit tonight in their 24-20 win over the Chicago Bears. They won a close game, coming from behind in the 4th quarter. They rushed the ball effectively, and almost as often as they passed. Of their three touchdowns, two of them were scored from the red zone. (The other, a TD catch by DeSean Jackson, is notable because at 48 yards, it's the shortest of his 7 TDs this year.) Despite a boatload of injuries to their linebackers and secondary, the defense forced the Bears to settle for field goal attempts five times and blocked one of the kicks, which kept Chicago's lead at 20-17 and set up the Eagles' drive for the go-ahead TD.

And despite it all -- the aforementioned defensive injuries, the fouled-up offensive line, the concussion issues sidelining Brian Westbrook, the poor losses to Dallas and San Diego the last two weeks, the incomprehensible loss to the pathetic Oakland Raiders -- the Eagles are 6-4, one game behind Dallas in the NFC East and (thanks to tiebreakers) one of the NFC Wild Card leaders. The playoffs are certainly not a done deal, but they're not a pipe dream, either. Of course, the Eagles usually do find themselves in the playoffs. It's what happens after that, the chase for a Super Bowl win, that is another of those issues that are discussed ad infinitum...

Quick Review: Michael Jackson's This Is It

I've been on the fence as to whether or not I even wanted to see "Michael Jackson's This Is It," the documentary cobbled together from footage of rehearsals for the series of London concerts planned by Jackson prior to his June death. There's no denying his talent -- classic hit songs, trendsetting music videos, amazing stage performances. On the other hand, there's still all the freakiness, the Wacko Jacko-ness -- the plastic surgery, the transformation from black to white, the dangling of the baby over the balcony; not to mention the allegations of child molestation (which I tend to believe are true). I figured none of that would be addressed by this movie, but how much of a deification would there be? How many scenes of screaming fans, of people involved with the concert lavishing praise on Jackson? In past Jackson televised productions such scenes were overwhelming to the point of absurdity.

Fortunately, those scenes are kept to a relative minimum. The focus of the movie is truly on the planning for the comeback shows in London. There is no footage of reaction to his death at all. Everything is taken from the rehearsals and other behind-the-scenes filming. The songs are presented in the same order in which they would have been performed live, and the movie includes some of the filmed background elements that would have been part of the show (such as a 3D production featuring zombies and other creatures for "Thriller"). However, at times there's a distinct lack of energy. Whether that was due to Jackson's health issues and/or drug abuse or simply because he was saving it for the actual shows is hard to tell. There's a limited amount of personal interaction between Jackson and the other people on stage. And there's not enough of Jackson explaining his vision for the shows, song choices, how the other dancers were selected, etc., other than a general statement about taking the audience to places they've never been before. Essentially, what we have is an attempt to create a concert film for a concert that never got to take place. It's an interesting attempt, but flawed nonetheless. My grade: B-minus.

Coming Attractions

So I've had a few odd days -- between sleep issues and the housecleaning I previously mentioned (that's pretty much under control, at least) and some other stuff. Thus, again I need to do some catching up here. I did manage to see a pair of movies, and hope to get to another in the morning; I really should write about the Eagles, although they are a terrible combination of frustrating and boring right now; and I actually have a political thought that's been sticking in my head for a few weeks. Oh, and my weekly dose of new comics, not to mention a couple of books I re-read a while back. So, until then, let's look at something nice. But what? Something current, perhaps...

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 11-17-09

Because in these days of modern technology, what is life without the iTunes shuffle function?

Affair - Cherrelle
Solitary Man - Neil Diamond
Apu In "The Jolly Bengali" Theme - The Simpsons
Primitive - Roisin Murphy
Kid Fears - Indigo Girls
Bless The Beasts And Children - 4 Non Blondes
Take On Me - a-Ha
Would I Lie To You? (Live) - Eurythmics
Reach Your Peak - Sister Sledge
Black On Black II - Heart
Take It To Da House - Trick Daddy feat. The SNS Express
Alive - Dirty Vegas
Work It - Teena Marie

Cleanup Duty

I've been busy working the last few days to make my house reasonably presentable for anyone other than myself. I've got a friend who's going to be staying with me for a little while. If not for that, the dust would continue to pile up and all the things I've got strewn around would continue to sit. This is because when it comes to keeping up with housework and maintenance and such, I'm a tricky combination of lazy and useless. I could really use a maid. If you know any maids that work for free (because that's about all I can afford right now) please send them my way.

Meanwhile, I also have to adjust to having someone around the house. I've lived by myself for so long, I'm very set in my ways. At the same time, since I'm not working, I'm completely free to come and go as I please and do whatever I want when I'm at home. While my friend is staying with me, my normal routines will be changed. They can't help but change. Even though it's my house and that makes me pretty much in charge, I'm still going to try and be a good host. I'm not going to switch channels on the TV if he's watching something. If I'm watching a game I'm not going to mute the sound, put on the radio and listen to music instead of moronic announcers.

It's going to be weird. I hope it turns out to be a good weird.

A Book I'd Like Turned Into A Movie

Consider this a dual sales pitch. The immediate pitch is for "The Alphabetical List Of Would-Be Princes," the second book by Fredric Joss Shelley. (Disclaimer: Freddy and I are on the same softball team in the City of Brotherly Love Softball League, Mikey's Nighthawks, and this season he was not just Most Valuable Player on our team, but of the entire "D" Division. This is a man of many talents!)

This sweet, engaging novel tells the story of one man's path to finding true love with the man of his dreams. Jack Bradley's tale winds its way through the alphabet, in order. "A is for Aaron," "B is for Ben," etc. Not every chapter is about boyfriends, though. The list is actually a mixture of close friends, acquaintances, and a number of random encounters -- a supermarket checkout boy, a police officer -- and in ways both great and small, each person helps Jack along the way.

At the risk of sounding like one of those lame reviewers who come up with cheesy lines designed to be quoted on a DVD cover, as I read the book the first-person narrative reminded me at times of "Sex And The City." I can easily see this book adapted for the big screen. That's the second part of my sales pitch -- I want to see the movie version. I want the story of Jack Bradley to win America's hearts. (Okay, that really sounds like one of those cheesy lines.)

Going back to the first part of my sales pitch: you can order "The Alphabetical List Of Would-Be Princes" through Amazon, but a much more beneficial option is to buy it from Giovanni's Room, our local LGBT bookstore. It's now the oldest independent LGBT bookstore in the USA, and is undergoing a renovation to rebuild one of the store's walls, which became structurally unsound. The cost of this construction is about $50,000, and there are fundraising efforts ongoing to pay for it. From now until the end of 2009, all proceeds from the store's sales of Freddy's new book -- including publishing costs -- will be donated to the renovation fund. The store is also selling raffle tickets for a few more weeks and other events are occurring; check out the store's Facebook page for more info.

Now that I think of it, this is a multiple sales pitch! There's the book, my request that it be made into a movie, my desire that you buy it from Giovanni's Room, the store's raffle and other fundraisers, the link to our softball team's sponsor and the softball league...there's even a link to one of my earlier blog posts. OMG, I've become both a pimp and a whore. ;-)

My Week In Comics 11-11-09

Only one book for the second week in a row. The newest issue of "Red Robin" says something like "The Search Continues" on the cover -- presumably referring to the title character's search for Bruce Wayne -- but a quick glance at it indicated nothing like that was on the inside. I also passed on "Green Lantern Corps" and its Blackest Night tie-in, although there's a pretty big development at the end of it. Seemingly, at least. Thus, just one book:

Action Comics 883: Nightwing and Flamebird get back to their original mission: capturing General Zod's Kryptonian "sleeper agents" on Earth, and one of them ages. Rapidly. Meanwhile, someone finally is wondering whatever happened to poor Jimmy Olsen. And I've said this before, but the "second feature" starring Captain Atom really, truly, emphatically is tied into the rest of the events in the Superman books. I'd probably have enjoyed it more when it started if it were in its own book, instead of parceled out in 8-page bites.

Quick Review: The Men Who Stare At Goats

I'll make this review really quick: don't waste your time or money on this strange, confusing mess. Between the story in which Ewan McGregor's reporter character follows around George Clooney's "psychic spy" or whatever he was supposed to be, the two of them in, of all places, Iraq, and the flashbacks to a secret army unit training Clooney and other "psychic spies" in the 1980s, with narration by McGregor throughout -- even Clooney's flashbacks -- I hardly knew what was going on and lost interest rapidly. I'm not sure where the humor in this was supposed to come from, but it didn't come at all. Worst movie I've seen this year. My grade: D-minus.

Quick Review: Where The Wild Things Are

With the transit strike over, I was finally able to get out to see a movie again (without taking a long walk, which would have been good for my health but uncomfortable in poor weather and much too time-consuming). Although "Where The Wild Things Are" has been out for a while now, it ended up being my first post-strike movie. Why? The bus I was waiting for never arrived after 40 minutes of waiting, so I had to take a different route to the mall. (Why is our transit system called SEPTA? Because everyone gets where they're going, SEPTA you.) Thus, I missed out on my initial choice.

I wasn't overly keen on seeing "WTWTA" but it was more interesting than I expected. It's a bit revised and very much fleshed out from the book. Young Max acts out at home, runs away and (in his imagination) makes his way across the ocean to the land of the Wild Things. Upon meeting them, he becomes their king and declares a "wild rumpus." That's pretty much it for the book, but the movie goes beyond that. Each of the creatures has issues, corresponding to the issues Max is dealing with in his life (as seen at the beginning of the movie). So the movie becomes a little psychological study. I'm not sure kids could sit through it -- it's certainly not flashy and loud like so many animated films -- but it held a definite charm. My grade: B-plus.

Random Stuff About My iTunes Library

I stole this idea from my friend Walt, who stole it from someone else, who undoubtedly stole it from yet another someone else, and so on, and so on, and so on. So, here's what I've got in iTunes...

How many total songs?

9,352. They're not all songs. I have a few sound bites and bits of dialogue from cartoons and TV shows; some artists (I'm looking at you, Janet Jackson) like to put these spoken "interludes" between songs on an album; and I have a podcast or two. At any rate, the total is 9,352 tracks. That's a total of 27.7 days' listening, amounting to 37.09 GB. (Walt puts me to shame with his 57,043 items.)

Sort by song title – first and last…

"A.B.C." - The Jackson Five
"99.9 F°" - Suzanne Vega (all the numbered items follow items beginning with a Z)

Sort by time – shortest and longest…

0:03 - This Means War - Bugs Bunny (one of those cartoon bits)
1:11:50 - Christmas 2004 - Nice (another friend, Gregg, compiled "Naughty" and "Nice" mixes of holiday music in 2004 that are very creative)

Sort by Album – first and last…

Abraxas - Santana
99.9 F° - Suzanne Vega

(See above re: song titles; in addition, I should note that the track from "Abraxas" is the only song I have from that album. That's because I have many downloads of individual songs or, for CDs I own, I may have only copied certain songs into iTunes. Also, I have songs that don't have an album title in the notes -- these are strictly downloads, and I haven't bothered to update the info in the library. I was doing that for a while, and even copying the album cover, but I've gotten off track there and now I can't be bothered.)

Sort by Artist – first and last…

a-Ha
95 North

Top five played songs

"When Love Takes Over" - David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland - 222 plays
"Let It Rock" - Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil' Wayne - 176 plays
"Poker Face" - Lady Gaga - 144 plays
"Shining Light" - Annie Lennox - 133 plays
"If I Never See Your Face Again (Paul Oakenfold Remix)" - Maroon 5 feat. Rihanna - 126 plays

I reset the total at the beginning of every year, so this is only 2009's most played.

Find the following words. How many songs show up?

Sex: 38 (the search function in iTunes, however, brought up every variation on the word, including titles like "Sexual Healing"
Death: 5
Love: 829 (again, variations, including "lover" and "lovely"
You: 1170
Home: 57
Boy: 79
Girl: 124

First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle...

I don't seem to have "Party Shuffle" any more, not that I ever used it. I just used the regular shuffle mode. Anyhoo, it seems to be called "iTunes DJ" now. And because I hit a button by mistake, I refreshed the list it brought up. So this isn't exactly the first five, but let's pretend:

"Cemeteries Of London" - Coldplay
"Orange Crush" - R.E.M.
"River Deep, Mountain High (Live Unplugged)" - Annie Lennox
"Believe Somebody" (mashup) - Madonna/Cher/Whitney Houston
"If I Could Only Win Your Love" - Emmylou Harris