Health Update: #cancerisabitch

So, yes, I am officially a PWC. Person With Cancer. The tumor that was removed from my brain is called a glioblastoma, a grade 4 tumor. It's the most aggressive form of malignant brain tumor.

More on that later. For now, let's step back in time in case you haven't been keeping up on social media with my medical odyssey. And this is going to be long, because it's the first time I've set down everything that's gone on in the last three months. If you reeeealllly need to just get to the cancer detail, click on this "after the jump" link.

I sat down and started eating dinner on April 8th when I noticed the left side of my face becoming numb, followed by spasms or twitches in the same area. I called my brother Andy to ask him to take me to the emergency room, and as soon as I hung up with him the spasming stopped and the feeling returned to my face. The whole thing lasted maybe five minutes. Thinking it was perhaps a food allergy, I didn't go to the ER that night. I saw my primary care doctor the next day. He said it was probably a transient ischemic attack, commonly called a mini-stroke, and told me I needed to see a neurologist. Late that afternoon, I woke from a nap and it happened again. It didn't last as long but I knew I had to go to the hospital. Of course, being me, I took the bus (SEPTA route 84 to Aria Torresdale).

I was admitted and an MRI was done the next day. The diagnosis was that I had a small stroke. I was put on aspirin and plavix, a blood thinner. In addition, I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. So that meant two more prescriptions (glipizide and metformin) as well as checking my blood sugar daily and changing my diet to limit my intake of carbohydrates (which converts into sugar in the body), and they put me on lipitor for my cholesterol (which I have never before been told was a problem). Adding to the synthroid I've been taking for a couple of years now (underactive thyroid), that makes six different medications daily.

(A diabetes note: I'm not 100 percent convinced I have it, or at least that I need that much medication. I feel like the numbers on the A1C test, which gives a record of your blood sugar over the last 6 months, were unusually high because at the end of December I went back to work at LIHEAP and, with the travel time on SEPTA being so long, my eating habits became much worse than they already were. I'm having follow-up blood work done next week and then seeing my primary doctor, so we'll see how it stands.)

The spasms in my face continued on a daily basis, even multiple times daily, at varying intensity but always brief. The doctors felt it might be muscular in nature but saw no other reason to keep me in the hospital. So I was released after a three-day stay. For the next two weeks they would ebb and flow, sometimes seeming like they were fading away entirely until a stronger one would hit. On April 25, a Saturday, I had an episode about noonish, and then a second, stronger one while I was out having lunch and shopping. At around 5:30 it happened again, but even stronger, and at first it didn't seem like it was going to stop. I got really scared and called 911. The operator had trouble understanding me because the spasms affected my voice. I was telling her "I think I'm having a stroke" and she had no clue. I tried yelling "STROKE! STROKE!" but it sounded like Scooby-Doo was saying "ROKE! ROKE!" She connected to (I think) the dispatcher and, as they were sending an ambulance, the spasms finally stopped and I was able to be understood again. As soon as they hung up, the ambulance arrived.

The neurologist who saw me in the ER was not there in person but via video feed. (Gotta love the health system where one specialist has to cover multiple hospitals from a camera.) He said the spasms were actually focal seizures, seizures in one specific area as compared to grand mal seizures than someone with epilepsy has, and that they can occur when someone's had a stroke. This time I was released the next day and put on keppra, an anti-seizure med. (Medication list increased to seven items; in my most recent hospitalization they put me on blood pressure medication but now I'm off the plavix and aspirin for good so we're back down to six.)

On May 19th I had an outpatient visit with a neurologist, who doubled my keppra dose because the focal seizures hadn't really been affected by the initial, more mild dose. I was scheduled for a followup in early July. After a while, the spasms in my face were not as strong, and not happening as often, and some days didn't happen at all. It seemed like things were going well. My speech still sounded a little funny, though, and then things got worse as we got into the middle of June.

My left hand became weak and I had a sensation of lost feeling in my fingers. I couldn't hold on to things, especially small items such as keys. Every time I was going into my house, I'd have trouble grabbing the keys out of my left pants pocket, and then holding them once I did get them out. Turning doorknobs or water faucets or lids on bottles with my left hand got more and more difficult. My speech seemed to get worse. I lost the ability to type. I constantly hit the wrong keys with my left hand. Using my cell phone, awkward enough to begin with because of its size (Samsung Galaxy Note 4), became a problem. I had trouble holding it with my left hand while tapping the screen with my finger on my right hand, and when trying to grip it more securely my thumb and forefingers on the left hand moved to the screen and inadvertently hit icons, and generally interfered with whatever I was trying to do. Or if I was on a phone call, my arm would slip and the phone would move away from my face.

On Tuesday, June 16, I called the outpatient neurologist and asked if I could move up my scheduled July appointment. By some miracle, they had an opening the next day. That afternoon I tried filling out a form (in the old-fashioned way, with a pen). I was constantly misspelling words, reversing letters and making a general mess of the form. I went to the neurologist the next day and he said I probably had another stroke. He wrote out instructions on his prescription pad for me to get an outpatient MRI and to start physical therapy with Moss Rehabilitation Center, but because they thought I might need a referral from my health insurance company, I had to go home and wait first. Walking to and from the office, bus stops and my house, I noticed my left foot was dragging. I wasn't taking full steps the way I was with my right foot. I got home and fell asleep in front of the TV. When I woke up, I saw that I had a voicemail. It was the neurologist's office, saying that they didn't need prior approval from my insurance and asking me to call and get the phone numbers to schedule the outpatient MRI and rehab. I had trouble even placing the call -- hit the wrong buttons and even dialed a wrong number once. When I did dial correctly, the office was closed for the day.

I knew I couldn't wait. I was getting worse and who knows how soon that MRI could've been scheduled? I called my brother and went back to the ER.

The hospital protocols, for some reason, do not allow for MRIs to be done for people in the emergency room. You have to be admitted first. So they did a CAT scan, and once they saw that result I was admitted to the Neuro ICU. (This meant I was constantly hooked up to a heart monitor that wasn't portable and a blood pressure cuff that recorded my BP hourly, as well as regular checks of my temperature and blood sugar. Sleep was very difficult at first, although it got a little easier each night. Every time I needed to use the bathroom I had to let the nurse know so they could unhook me. That was a pain, but the worst was yet to come. I had great nursing care up until the last night.) The MRI the next day confirmed that I indeed had a tumor that had to be removed and there was edema, or swelling. But first I was put on a steroid, administered through the IV line, to reduce the swelling, and taken off the aspirin/blood thinner meds for 5 days before the surgery.

This diagnosis actually made me very, very happy. A stroke? Going through therapy to try and function and "re-learn how to do things" and whatever would be awful, time-consuming, frustrating. A tumor (cancerous or not) causing all my issues? Cut it out and I'll get back to normal? Awesome! I was already noticing improvement just from the steroids reducing the swelling.

On Monday, June 22, the afternoon of my 5th full day in the hospital (and the 6th anniversary of the establishment of this blog, although with the lack of posts recently...), after doing another MRI to create a detailed "map" of the area of my brain where the surgery would be done, I was whisked off to surgery. Various people were introducing themselves and explaining why they were there, and the anesthesiologist then took over. I went out rather quickly. I remember a moment where I was dreaming. It was nothing memorable, just some conversation, but it seemed pleasant enough.

A moment later there were bright lights and everyone screaming at me almost simultaneously. "JOE! SQUEEZE MY FINGERS! JOE! RAISE YOUR LEFT LEG! JOE! LOOK UP! LOOK DOWN!" and so on. And then I was whisked back to my room in the Neuro ICU. And I had a very uncomfortable sensation in my groin. As it turned out, while I was under they removed my shorts and underwear and inserted a catheter, which stayed in place all night. That night was very difficult. The next day the catheter was removed and I was allowed to eat again, and I was feeling better immediately. The followup MRI looked excellent. The neurosurgeon removed virtually all of the tumor. I was told based on the type and location that it was likely cancerous but it would have to be confirmed by the pathology report. But I could tell immediately that my brain was starting to fully function properly. I was able to hold things in my left hand longer -- even my phone. I could walk without my left foot dragging. I sounded more coherent. I could write words and spell them correctly.

So, if you've ever been hospitalized you know that besides the nurses, doctors are in and out almost constantly. I'm pretty sure some of these visits have no purpose but to get their names on the record so they get a cut of the amount being billed. Anyway, the following day (Wed. June 24), the entire morning and into the early afternoon, no one had come in except for a speech pathologist. She watched me eat and drink, and administered various tests -- word puzzles, brain teasers, memory stuff, then had me write down my name and address and write out a phony check -- to verify that my brain was working. It was, and still is (all you wiseasses can just shut up now). A little after two that day a neurosurgeon came in and examined me, and upon hearing of the speech pathologist's assessment, said that they just needed someone from physical therapy to watch me walk up and down steps, and once I passed that test they could move me to a regular room or even send me home. I was thrilled!

Except no one from physical therapy ever showed. I figured one more night wouldn't kill me. Just after 8 pm the nurse assigned to my room for that night came in and told me that because more patients were coming in and they needed the room, they would be moving me to the "step-down unit." I asked what that was. She said I would only need the blood pressure checked every two hours and they would put me on a portable heart monitor, so I could get up to use the bathroom. I asked if it was still a private room (like every room I was in during my three hospitalizations) and she said she wasn't sure, but I could sort of tell it wasn't. I told her I had the possibility of going home but the physical therapist didn't show, and that if I was not comfortable in this step-down unit that I was leaving, against medical advice if necessary. (Around this time my brother Tony texted me that he was on the way over to visit and I told him he might get to take me home.)

The nurse disappeared for a while. Finally she and an orderly returned to wheel me to the step-down unit, a short way down the hall. It was a larger room which could hold two beds, with curtains for privacy and a shared bathroom. The other side of the room was empty, so I decided it was okay. Five minutes later they wheeled someone else into the other side.

He wasn't a problem, although he got chatty with every nurse or aide who came to see him. He was in a bad auto accident and hadn't really gotten out of bed yet. But in the unit across the hall were two men. One moaned in pain and called out for help or for his mother or for others constantly, while the other begged and pleaded for him to shut up. This went on ALL. DAMN. NIGHT. Between that and the nurse's aide coming in to check my vitals I could not fall asleep. I became more and more annoyed and even listening to music on my phone (with headphones) did not help.

Note above that I said "nurse's aide." I had a nurse assigned to me but other than when I first got into that unit, the idiot only came to see me twice. The first time was at 4:30 am. Just when I finally started drifting off into what might have been an hour or two of sleep, I was startled back into consciousness as she stood at the foot of my bed. "I noticed that they wrote down for you to use these compression wraps on your legs for your circulation." (I had these in the other room. They're plugged into a unit that compresses and decompresses them regularly to keep your blood flowing. They didn't move them with me to this unit.) She continued: "We could put them on you for the night and during the day--"

"I will NOT be here during the day. I am getting out in the morning no matter what it takes."

"Oh...um, well, they also wrote down that you could wear compression stockings, which go on your legs--"

"I don't need those. The wraps will be fine."

She left -- and never brought back the wraps or the stockings! She interrupted my final, desperate attempt at sleep for nothing! She did return one more time, before her shift ended, with some paper. "I brought you some information on synthroid." Why she picked that, and not any of the other meds, including those they put me on just since June 17th, I have no idea.

"I've been on synthroid for years. I don't need that."
"Oh...well, it's just because of the government."

At this point I wanted to completely explode, and perhaps throw her out a window. Somehow I managed to stay composed and told her "just leave it if you have to." She did, and I never saw her again. I used one page as a bookmark for the "Afterlife with Archie" graphic novel I read later in the morning, and left the rest behind.

Finally, the day nurse came in for the first time and before she could do anything other than introduce herself I immediately began my controlled rant (not these exact words, but close): "I could have possibly been sent home yesterday except no one from physical therapy showed up, and then I was moved into this unit where the man across the hall moaned all night and the other man kept telling him to shut up, and I did not get ONE SINGLE OUNCE OF SLEEP all night." (I may have mentioned the other nurse being a moron. I'm not sure.) "So this is what's going to happen: I'm going to eat breakfast and get cleaned up. Then the physical therapist will come and see me walk on the steps, and then the doctors will discharge me and you'll take all this stuff (heart monitor leads, IV lines) off and I will leave. This will all happen by noon or I will walk out and you will not stop me. This is not up for discussion or debate. I am leaving by noon."

They got the message and I was out by noon.

So in the last week and a half I've gotten stronger and stronger. My hand is nearly fully functional. (Just look as all this typing!) I am very close to 100 percent back to normal. My speech still sounds a little off, but I certainly can be clearly understood, and there may be a little droop remaining on the left side of my face but that's it.

My Recent Comics 2-8-12

With my procrastinating and lack of rest time and such, I actually went to the store(s) on three different days for these. I can't remember exactly when, but I've had them a while. They've been sitting on a table waiting to get their day in the blog spotlight. So, for the sake of getting this out of the way once and for all, I'm only going to touch on a few of these.

Simpsons Comics 183, 184, 185
Simpsons Winter Wingding 6
Simpsons Super Spectacular 14 -- The story of the musical "Radioactive Man: Turn Up The Silence." Sound familiar?
Futurama Comics 58
Veronica 209 a.k.a Veronica Presents: Kevin Keller 3 (of 4) -- As with the first two issues, I actually found this at a bookstore -- Barnes and Noble, now that Borders is gone. I never picked up issue 4, however, which is too bad because it actually had a bit of a cliffhanger. Plus they actually mention Snooki and plug her book, "A Shore Thing." Wait -- did I just plug it too? And that Barnes and Noble is also where I bought...

Someday...

Someday I'll get the time and inclination to sit down and write about the four movies I've seen in the last month, and the year-in-review post I wanted to do, and the comics I bought over the last month or two (one of them was even a DC book!!!!!) and how I love the Foster The People album, and I still need to finish putting together the photos I took when I walked around town back in October (the same day I took those Occupy Philly photos -- hey, remember when that was a thing?), plus that one other post that I began thinking about TEN MONTHS AGO and still haven't put together...sigh...someday I will do some of these posts, seriously.

But if any of you want to write them for me, hey, that'd be great as well.

My (Last*) Week In Comics 8-31-11

Well, today was the big day. The final issue of "Flashpoint," the end of the DC Comics Universe as we know it and the launch of the new DC Universe, or DCnU, to use the shorthand that someone came up with. (Was it DC themselves? Not sure.) The first of the 52 monthly titles, all starting with issue 1 -- even long-running Action Comics and Detective Comics -- was also released: Justice League #1. So let's get to what I bought today, and then we'll discuss this some more...

Flashpoint 5 (of 5): In this issue, the war between Wonder Woman's Amazons and Aquaman's Atlanteans has begun, and unless it's somehow stopped, will result in an earth-shattering cataclysm. The attempt by some of the heroes of this world, including the Flash and this alternate world's Batman, finally gathered in an attempt to stop it, isn't going so well. Then Eobard Thawne, a.k.a. Professor Zoom, the Reverse-Flash, shows up to make things worse for Barry Allen by explaining exactly how the timeline was changed so drastically. The revelation is quite a twist. How things are resolved essentially boils down to one man's love for his mother, and another man's love for his son, and the sacrifices both must make in order to restore the correct timeline. The Amazon-Atlantis war itself is mostly an afterthought. Some characters from the various tie-in series show up dramatically for a couple of pages, but the whole thing is pretty much in the background of the Thawne/Flash/Batman drama. The final 9 pages feature a two-page sequence which bridges the old and new DCU, and hints at an upcoming threat, followed by Barry Allen waking up back at his police crime lab job. I guess it's kind of a spoiler but we all knew that when this was over Bruce Wayne would be Batman again, so it's no surprise when Flash rushes into the Batcave to find Bruce/Batman. There's a nice conversation and a touching moment.

My Week In Comics 8-24-11

The end is near...so, so near...more on that in my next comics post. For this one we have the finales of two "Flashpoint" tie-ins, the end of four regular series and two specials.

Flashpoint: Lois Lane and the Resistance 3 (of 3)
Flashpoint: Project Superman 3 (of 3): I hazarded a guess that I had to read the Lois Lane book first, and I was right, because events in that book were followed up in the Project Superman book. After all, you can't keep Superman (even if his existence has been radically altered by the Flashpoint phenomenon) and Lois Lane (even if her existence, etc.) apart for long. The Project Superman series was well-done, though. Both of these lead to the conclusion of "Flashpoint" and the end of the old DC universe.

Action Comics 904: Like many of the other books, it ends with a heartwarming feel-good moment. In this case, it's Lois and Clark having dinner after Superman and the others end the threat of Doomslayer and the Doomsday clones. The curtain is drawn on the final act of their marriage, since the new DC has decreed that in the new universe they were never married. Sadly, this title will never get to the magic number of 1000 issues (unless, at some point in the future, DC decides to renumber their books again -- they did this recently with Wonder Woman, adding previous series together so they could give her series an issue number 600).

Teen Titans 100: Speaking of books hitting milestone numbers, here's one now. This is an example of my "completeness" issue. Since I bought the previous two issues for the storyline, I ended up buying the last one. Meh.

Gotham City Sirens 26:

My Week In Comics 8-17-11

So there are these books, then those I bought today, and the final issue of "Flashpoint" next week, and then...well, that's the question, isn't it? Will I keep buying any books at all? Right now, I don't know. I'm not buying into the new DC Universe. (If I get around to it I'll elaborate on that.) The question is, will I bother to go to the comic book stores at all, for the Simpsons/Futurama books or other things I take a chance on from time to time?

Superboy 11
Supergirl 67
Superman/Batman 87: All three of these are the last issues of these series. There isn't going to be a Superman/Batman book in the new DC, at least not at first. And the changes to the other books starting with their new #1 issues are not to my liking at all, so this is it. All storylines are wrapped up (except for a little loose end in "Superboy") in a satisfactory way. The Superboy and Supergirl books are two that I've really enjoyed; they've been more consistently good than most of the monthly series I've been buying, and they both end (as are many of the DC books) with sweet, heartwarming final pages. "Superman/Batman?" Not so consistent, and I dropped it until these last three issues. It ends with the two heroes on a rooftop, as they so often find themselves. Hard for these two to have a private chat on the street, don't you know. Superman's not entirely satisfied with the resolution of the case, and Batman advises him to let it go, making a neat comparison of the two and their styles: "Last night, while you were paining over this, there were nine murders in Gotham. Six of them remain unsolved. You're an architect, Clark. You're building a future. I'm a fireman. I put out fires as best I can, and then move on to the next one."

Simpsons Comics 181: Ned Flanders on a cruise ship for the religious, with cruise director Reverend Roy: "The eleventh commandment is fun, fun, fun! Pan-denominational, monogamous, non-alcoholic fun, that is!" And poor Rod and Tod are left behind with the Simpsons. "Left behind" -- get it? I'm so funny!

My Week In Comics 8-10-11

Winding down to the end of the old DC Universe. Just two weeks of issues left after this. But first, a non-DC book that actually was issued a week earlier. The store I had gone to then didn't have it, so I had to wait...

Moriarty 4: So the back of the book reveals that this isn't the end of a four-issue miniseries, but just the end of the storyline, with more adventures starring Professor Moriarty to come in the fall. And my one suspicion, that at the end of this tale Moriarty would have to confront the thought-to-be-dead Sherlock Holmes, sort of comes true. Yay me.

DC Retroactive: Superman - The '80s 1 (of 1): The reprinted story features Superman being confronted by a being called Destiny, who teaches him that just because he can help everyone, he shouldn't always do so. You know, one of those "mankind becomes stronger by fighting their own battles" blah blah blah stories. The new story brings this Destiny character back -- to try and make Superman choose between two future paths, neither of which are very palatable, with the tactic of showing Superman "future" events such as "Identity Crisis" and "Blackest Night" and, of course, his temporary death in battle against Doomsday. (Remember, this is set in the 1980s.) But if he really wanted to show a bleak future, Destiny could have shown Superman his mopey walk across the country.

Teen Titans 99: I wasn't so thrilled by the last issue, in which Superboy-Prime returned. I wasn't going to buy this, but I started looking through it in the store and sort of got suckered in. Dammit. I suppose I'll have to buy the last issue now.

My Week In Comics 8-3-11

As it is many times, it's an all-DC week. Although when September arrives and DC reboots, I really don't think I'm going to be on board. The advance publicity has revealed quite a bit, and I dislike almost every change in the series I buy regularly. Which also makes me wonder, if the only books I get regularly are the Simpsons/Futurama books, should I even bother? But that decision is for next month...

Flashpoint 4 (of 5): The story that's leading to all of those changes is nearing its end. War between the Amazons and the Atlanteans is erupting, and a desperate Flash finally convinces this world's Batman to join with other superpowered beings to try and stop it. Some of what happens is a result of what took place in some of the tie-in books. Without that background, a few characters' motivations here is fuzzy. I have to agree with some other commentary I've read, that the main Flashpoint series is being overshadowed by some of the companion books...

Flashpoint: Batman Knight of Vengeance 3 (of 3): ...and this was one of them. The amazing cliffhanger in the last issue -- (okay, SPOILER ALERT if you care about these things) where we learned that the murder of young Bruce Wayne in Crime Alley not only resulted in his father Thomas becoming Batman, but his mother Martha is the Joker -- is played out, with flashbacks interspersed revealing Martha's descent into madness.

Superboy 10: As with the other DC books I've been getting, here's the next-to-last issue. And to mark the occasion, Superboy himself appears on a grand total of two pages of the book. The last two. Good thing it's not the very last issue. (The rest of the book was flashbacks telling how the villain of the tale, Tannarak, has been around trying basically the same thing over and over since at least...drum roll...the year 45,025 B.C.)

Superman 714: This, on the other hand, is the end. The end of the series before the new one starts up, and the end of "Grounded," otherwise known as Superman's Walk Across America. Although, technically, did he complete his walk if, in order to rescue Lois from the woman who was holding her hostage in order to draw him out, he flew from Portland to Seattle? Not to mention his time walking from Vegas into and out of Los Angeles just disappearing -- seriously, it's like Hands Across America. There are gaps. Anyway, the finale wasn't all that bad, but it couldn't make up for so much bad that came before it.

My Week In Comics 7-27-11

I need to bear down and get these posts out, as my online time might be limited in the coming days. And this was a heavy week because of two "Flashpoint" tie-ins and a couple of other books not part of my regular deal.

Action Comics 903: As with just about every series, this is the next-to-last issue before the reboot. So it's the next-to-last part of the "Reign of the Doomsdays" storyline, which I've found to be badly written. Between this and the walk-across-America story in the other Superman book, even though I detest much of what I've heard about the reboot it's arriving just in time.

Flashpoint: Project Superman 2 (of 3): This book, on the other hand, really surprised me. I enjoyed it much more than I expected. Held in a secret facility under Metropolis, young Kal-El (Subject One) is being experimented on and, ironically, it's General Sam Lane who's treating him with compassion to try and guide him into becoming the hero that Subject Zero couldn't be. We also meet Lionel Luthor and his son Lex, who is viciously attacked (thanks to some manipulation by Subject Zero and a timely push by Lionel) by Subject Two -- the dog we know in the regular DC world as Krypto. And young Kal meets young Lois Lane for the first time.

Flashpoint: Lois Lane and the Resistance 2 (of 3): Meanwhile, the all-grown-up Lois meets up with the Resistance in London, and they're after a prototype of an armored battlesuit that could help them fight against the occupying Amazons. But there's a traitor in their midst...

Gotham City Sirens 25: This time out the entire issue is focused on (and has narrative boxes from) Poison Ivy, as she escapes from Arkham with Harley Quinn, intent on killing Catwoman for her betrayal. I remember when this book was a lot more humorous. I liked it a lot more then.

Teen Titans 98: Somehow, and I suppose there's an explanation coming, Superboy-Prime (whose punches caused lots of changes in DC's continuity, but fortunately have nothing to do with the reboot in September) has returned and is out for vengeance (or something) against Superboy. The last page is amusing.

DC Retroactive: Superman - The '70s 1 (of 1): DC is doing a bunch of one-shot specials which pay homage to the 1970's, 1980's and 1990s. Each book will have a new story set in the specific decade, plus a reprint of a story from that era. In this case, the new story in part deals with a little drama between Lois Lane and Lana Lang over their love, Superman, which the old story tells how the Earth-Two Superman came to marry Lois Lane.

Futurama Comics 56: Fry blows up the Earth. Not really. It's a theme restaurant called Earthies. It leads to, among other things, Bender being chased down while on the Internet for illegal music downloads -- by the artists whose music he downloaded.

My Week In Comics 7-20-11

With time running out before the big September relaunch/reboot/whatever you want to call what DC Comics is doing, it almost seems like there should be a countdown clock. Since these posts are dated with the day the books were in stores, and the actual relaunch begins August 31st with the final issue of Flashpoint and the 1st issue of the new Justice League series the same day, we'll go with that. As of July 20th it's T-minus 42 days and counting...

Supergirl 66: Second of a three-parter. Of course, since it's the next-to-last issue before September. Supergirl is undercover as another college student goes missing, so she's mostly in civilian garb, secretly using her powers so as to not let the other students in on her identity. And it's not often you have both mechanical rats and a reference to "Bewitched" in the same story.

Superman/Batman 86: Same deal here, next-to-last issue, except this series isn't coming back in September, at least not right away. Clark Kent has a dilemma -- whether or not to finish the article on the Batman/Wayne corporation connection that got the Gotham reporter killed.  (Remember, this story is set in the early days, long before Batman, Incorporated.) Oh, and it turns out the Joker is involved.

Simpsons Comics 180: The Simpsons are going to Canada! Again! Permanently! Illegally! Along with the rest of Springfield! After Mr. Burns shuts down every business in town! Why do I keep talking like this!?!

My Week In Comics 7-13-11

Since I have only two books I might as well knock this out so that next week, when I'll hopefully see a movie or two, I'll have one less post overdue. And since I have softball tomorrow I don't know that I'll get to it then. Plus there's nothing really new to complain about regarding DC's revamp in September, soooooooo...

Superman 713: Next-to-last chapter of the Superman-walking-across-America tour. I don't usually do this, but I'm going to summarize the whole issue for you. (Spoiler Alert! if you really care.) After skipping Los Angeles entirely (instead of for the reasons cited in this post, perhaps it was really due to Carmageddon?) the story picks up in Oregon, where Superman has summoned Supergirl and Superboy to inform them that he's abandoning his costume and his public identity as Superman. He'll just help people secretly from now on. They don't take the news well. Later, Clark Kent is in Portland, at a coffee shop, working on a Daily Planet article titled "Must There Be A Superman?" when a barista points out a guy wearing the "S" on his sweatshirt who knows more about Superman than anybody. The guy peeks at Clark's laptop and is appalled. So he takes Clark to the streets and solicits testimonials from regular people about how great Superman really is. Then, suddenly, a TV report from Seattle: Lois Lane has been taken hostage by a superpowered woman, demanding that Superman appear or she'll kill Lois. "It's got to be the one who's been following me!" Clark thinks as he watches the report. Yeah, maybe you should have checked her out one of those other times you saw her along the way! "To be concluded." Although I thought it started well (again, maybe the fact that he started his walk in Philadelphia swayed me), and a couple of times it briefly seemed like it might recover, this whole storyline has been lame. No, trite. No, both lame and trite. I'd more easily accept this whole DC reboot idea if it had canceled this tale early.

Sherlock Holmes Year One 5 (of 6): The "Twelve Caeasars" killer has not only struck again, claiming his 9th victim, but also has managed to capture Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson and Irene Adler. I don't know if I'm disappointed or not that I formulated a guess early on about one of Holmes's teachers in his university days, and my guess was confirmed in this issue. I guess if you're telling a "Year One" story, it's got to include the beginnings of the subject's greatest enemy as well...

My Week In Comics 7-6-11

Let's get right to this...

Flashpoint 3 (of 5): DC Comics continues to hype their coming final blow to their business reboot as well as selling "Flashpoint" and its tie-ins. One thing they're saying is that some of the changes occurring in September are being hinted at or previewed in "Flashpoint." A badly-hurt Barry Allen makes that point early on in the 3rd issue of the main series: "If we don't fix this soon...I won't even realize it's wrong." Yes, but we will. Anyway, Barry makes a speedy recovery and finally convinces Batman to help him get as much of the old gang -- the Justice League -- together again. So much has changed, but since Barry learns that a rocket ship crashed from outer space years ago, he knows that somewhere out there, there's a Superman. We knew that because of the "Project Superman" tie-in book that came out a week earlier. And since events in that book take place in flashbacks and the first issue ended with the arrival of the rocket from Krypton, this book lets us see what Superman is like now (and, gruesomely, the status of Krypto).

Flashpoint: Batman Knight of Vengeance 2 (of 3): Meanwhile, in the Batman tie-in, we learn that in the Flashpoint universe there is an Oracle in Gotham, but it's not Barbara Gordon. And in a stunning and tragic sequence, we learn the identity of this world's Joker. And that is one of the most surprising and entertaining reveals I've read in a book in a while.

Superboy 9: Again, not that it matters, since everything changes in a couple of months, Superboy faces off against the Hollow Men and learns that his ally is not who he appears to be. And we learn the true mission of the from-the-near-future Psionic Lad...I mean, Psion. He changed his name. But it doesn't matter since he probably won't exist in the new DC universe.

Moriarty 3 (of 4): The "to be concluded" note on the last page solves the mystery of how long this series will last. The mystery of exactly what the threat to London (and/or the world) entails is a bit clearer, I think. Took me two reads to come up with a guess. Moriarty also "catches up" with Inspector Lestrade, using him to deliver a message to Dr. Watson. With one issue left, it remains to be seen whether or not Moriarty's presumed-dead nemesis will make an appearance. My money's still on "yes."

My Week In Comics 6-29-11

I haven't posted anything in a few days. I find myself once again in a bit of a rut with this whole blogging thing -- but at least I'm not backed up with movies to write about. (What, you think I'm going to see that Transformers crap?) I do plan to post about how I spent the 4th of July. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you already have an idea. For now, though...

Flashpoint: Lois Lane and the Resistance 1 (of 3)
Flashpoint: Project Superman 1 (of 3): The Lois Lane book was actually released a week earlier but I skipped it. After taking another glance at it I decided to try it. Since everything in this Flashpoint universe is changed, these two books aren't actually related. Lois is still a Daily Planet reporter, but to her disgust she's stuck covering Fashion Week in Paris instead of hard news (along with Jimmy Olsen). Then fate intervenes, in the form of Emperor Aquaman's flooding of western Europe as part of the Atlantean hostilities against Wonder Woman and the Amazons. Olsen is killed but Lois survives and is taken by the Amazons to New Themyscira (the former Great Britain), where she ends up (thanks to her possession of Jimmy's camera) joining the resistance movement. Meanwhile, the Project Superman book takes place in flashbacks, starting 30 years ago, when a U.S. soldier arrives at a secret underground facility in Metropolis (with a certain General Sam Lane in charge), having volunteered to undergo treatments that would give him superpowers. Ummmm...isn't this more of a Marvel thing? Anyway, the goal is to have a powerful hero who can also present himself as normal-looking to the world -- all the better for the good old USA. But things don't quite go as planned, and a few years later our super-soldier is kept locked up in the facility, until meteors crash into Metropolis, and on the last page we see that one of the meteors is actually...you guessed it...a rocket carrying a baby. Which brings up a question: how would the changes in Earth's timeline caused by the Reverse-Flash cause the ship from Krypton to crash-land in Metropolis instead of on the Kent farm in Smallville? This seems more like a random change done for plot purposes, unless the coming DC Universe reboot in September is even more drastic than I imagine.

Batman, Incorporated 7:  Meanwhile, in the unchanged (for now) DC universe, we have a story that doesn't have a lot of Batman. It centers around one of those he inspired, Man-of-Bats, who fights crime on his reservation along with his son, who's called Raven. But unlike Bruce Wayne, Man-of-Bats doesn't have unlimited resources, and the Leviathan criminal outfit is making things on the reservation much tougher.

My Week In Comics 6-22-11

It's been a bit hectic the last few days, with Sunday's softball and our sponsor being Bar of the Week (two wins and raised over $300 for the team -- woo-hoo!), and yesterday and much of today helping a friend pack up his things for a move (which I'll be helping him do tomorrow), not to mention accompanying him on his trip to the emergency room due to abdominal pains (spent like 9 hours there but he's feeling better) yesterday. I still want to write about the Phillies' current circumstances and the Flyers' dramatic moves last week (with one more big one to come?) -- but, to get something posted, I'm taking the easy way out with these...

Action Comics 902: As we continue with "Reign of the Doomsdays" (and some more clunky dialogue) there's a new player in the game, Doomslayer, who wants to destroy the original Doomsday and the Luthor-produced clones. To do so he's willing to wipe out everyone on Earth, or at least Metropolis -- which, of course, Superman and his allies want to prevent. Doomslayer seems to be a much more evolved version of the original Doomsday, or perhaps he is the original, evolved and returned from the future. That, of course, would mean he's going to kill himself, which would mean he wouldn't go from Doomsday to Doomslayer, but if he doesn't become Doomslayer because he killed himself, how does he come back to kill himself? Head...spinning... Oh, and a character died at the end of issue 901, but what does it matter since the great DC reboot is coming?

Superman 712: Here's the description of the issue from DC's website: "Meet Los Angeles's newest super hero in the latest chapter of 'Grounded': Sharif! But Sharif discovers that in today's current cultural climate, some people don't want his help – they just want him gone. Can Superman aid Sharif and quell a prejudiced public, or are there some problems too big even for the Man of Steel to solve?" Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Los Angeles. This story was replaced at the last minute. This means that Superman's walk across the country has been interrupted three times now for unrelated stories, and with only two chapters left now before the reboot, this walk is limping to an end. Something in the story of Sharif (could it be that he has powers but hey, he's a Muslim so people think he must be a terrorist?) was deemed too controversial, and so the story can never see the light of day.

Then again, the story that actually appeared in the issue was also missing in action. It was originally slated to appear a few years ago. For reasons that weren't made entirely clear at the time, it was similarly pulled on short notice. I guess it was an emergency and something had to come out on Wednesday, so here it is. "Lost Boy: A Tale of Krypto the Superdog" is set shortly after "Infinite Crisis," in which Superboy died (until "Final Crisis" brought Conner Kent back to the land of the living) and Superman went missing after losing his powers. It deals with Krypto's reaction to these events, so it's mostly wordless (except for some flashback scenes), but Krypto's expressions -- and one long, loud, glass-breaking super-howl -- effectively tell the tale. It would have been better had it arrived on schedule, but it was worth the wait.

My Week In Comics 6-15-11

I was considering not buying the two DC books I picked up, with the coming reboot and all, but ended up doing so anyway -- one out of some loyalty to the character, and one because I looked at it in the store and decided I might like it.

Supergirl 65: With the last story arc having been completed, this is the first of the final three issues before September's relaunching. The description of the new Supergirl leaves me cold. So I wasn't going to bother with this, but decided to anyway. This new tale sends Supergirl to college (incognito, of course), at the request of Lois Lane, to try and learn why some college students are going missing.

Superman/Batman 85: Hadn't bought this book in a few months, because I was tiring of the stories they were telling, especially since they mostly weren't connected to the current events involving either title character. This story (again a three-parter, and this is one book that is actually gone come September), is, like the others, a flashback tale of sorts. It's set in the early days of the continuity that's about to disappear, a time when Batman and Superman were still a little distrusting of each other. The body of a reporter from Gotham City is found in Metropolis and Batman is the prime suspect in the murder. Sent by the Daily Planet to look into it, Clark Kent finds some evidence that actually could prove it. I enjoyed this -- the characterization hits the right notes.

Simpsons Comics 179: I get a weekly email from one of the stores I frequent, listing the new books coming out on Wednesday. This was not on the list. The fact that it was in the store and I didn't know it...disturbs me. Anyway, in this issue Lenny is taken in by a Scientology-like organization. There's also an ad for Simpsons Super Spectacular #13. "On sale in May!" it says. It's a little late, apparently.

My Week In Comics 6-8-11: A DC-less Preview

It was an interesting week in a couple of ways. First of all, I bought no DC comics. None of my regular books were out, and I wasn't interested in any of the "Flashpoint" tie-ins. Considering DC's pending reboot and my disdain for, and concern about, much of it, this could happen much more often come September. Perhaps even weekly. Since my last post, DC put out its word on the Superman books, and at least two of them -- the books starring Superboy and Supergirl -- are very likely off my purchase lists. I haven't decided on the Action Comics and Superman books yet. There's also been confirmation that the Lois Lane-Clark Kent wedding will no longer exist in the new order.

And there was this piece of information that is just going to lead to a lot of confusion some day, when future stories are being planned out. Many of the events that have happened in recent years are still going to be considered to have taken place, in the timeline that DC has built for itself:

DC confirmed that stories like Blackest Night, Brightest Day, Identity Crisis, Death in the Family, and Killing Joke are still part of the DCU history. In fact, editors said, some events in those stories are specifically referenced in September.

So they will have to explain how Barbara Gordon is no longer paralyzed, I suppose? The thing is, if the characters are supposed to be younger (after all, they want to try and get young people to buy into the new continuity), how can so many of these events have happened in such a brief period? Word is that while most books are set in what the story calls "contemporary times," two books -- "Justice League" and "Action Comics" -- are set at the "dawning of the age of superheroes," which, from one report, is only about five years earlier. And "Identity Crisis" was, in part, about superheroes' families being in danger after one wife is murdered (and their actions as a result). A major plot twist turns on a past event that some characters kept secret from others. If at least some of that history is gone, if some of those relationships (such as the Lois/Clark marriage) don't exist now, then how does the rest of the story make sense? I'm just not sold on any of this.

So on to the two books I did buy...

My Week In Comics 6-2-11 (With Bonus Rant)

Okay, let's get right to this so I can rant.

Flashpoint 2 (of 5);
Flashpoint: Batman Knight of Vengeance 1 (of 3): The newly altered universe Barry Allen finds himself in is very much different. Much of Europe is under water, flooded by Atlantis under its ruler, Aquaman. And England is now New Themyscira after being attacked by Wonder Woman and the Amazons. But probably the biggest reveal of the first issue of the main series is that instead of Bruce Wayne seeing his parents killed and eventually becoming Batman, it was Bruce and his mother who were killed and his father, Thomas Wayne, who becomes Batman -- but this Batman is not out for justice, but revenge. In Flashpoint #2, Barry Allen tries to persuade Batman to help him re-create the accident that gave Barry his super-speed, allowing the Flash to find a way to restore history and get the world back to where it was. The Batman tie-in miniseries focuses on the changes in Gotham City: Thomas Wayne is a casino magnate and has privatized the Gotham police force, but while many of the city's worst fiends are dead (thanks to Batman), the Joker is still around, and has kidnapped the twins of Judge Harvey Dent. Not that all of this will matter in a few months...

Superboy 8: The strange mysteries that have been building in Smallville since the start of this series -- the "broken silo," Psionic Lad, Lori Luthor -- are all coming to a head in part one of "Rise of the Hollow Men." Not that it will...

...okay, you get the idea. What I was hinting at in my last comic book post is the news that came out of DC Comics last week. Essentially, "Flashpoint" is serving as the "Crisis on Infinite Earths" of today: when it's over,

My Week In Comics 5-25-11

This week I bought two DC books and two from Bongo Comics. However, after some news broke today, I'm not sure I should even bother writing about the books of one of these companies. (I will, of course, but not in this post. If you follow the comic book publishers' doings, you already know what I'm talking about. If the news hasn't gotten to you and you don't care to go searching for it, I will enlighten you in my next comic book post.)

Action Comics 901: So "Reign of Doomsday" has actually turned into "Reign of the Doomsdays." There are four of them now (plus the original, who's incapacitated at the moment), thanks to Lex Luthor. Each has powers similar to the Super-person it went after (for example, Superboy's Doomsday has tactile telekinesis). A new character is introduced, and some of Superman's dialogue is off. Can you ever imagine him answering a question with "Ha! What can I say? Busted!" And now this whole thing, dumb dialogue and all, is threatening Earth. Not that it will matter in a few months...

Gotham City Sirens 23: The Joker and Harley Quinn are reunited...and it feels so good, unless you're in Arkham Asylum with them. As chaos reigns, Poison Ivy arrives to break up the happy couple, while Catwoman tries to stay out of it. Bonus: both Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson in costume. Two Batmen for the price of one! Not that it will matter in a few months...

Simpsons Summer Shindig 5: Let's see...we have the Springfield Bear Patrol in action. Remember the "We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!" chant? Apparently this was an outgrowth that hasn't been explored

Quick Review: Thor

This is not a comic book I read, nor am I going to begin now. (For one thing, it's a Marvel character and you've probably figured out by now that I'm way more of a DC person.) But "Thor" was a lot more entertaining than I expected based on the trailer. The plot sort of made enough sense despite its sci-fi leanings. After nearly starting a war, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), god of thunder, is exiled from Asgard by his father (Anthony Hopkins) until he proves himself worthy again. The hammer that gives Thor his power is also sent to Earth, but separately, and with a spell that keeps it from being wielded by anyone unless they're worthy. (So of course Thor needs to redeem himself so he can lift that hammer.) Meanwhile, Thor's brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) learns something interesting about his heritage and, as you'd expect from the god of mischief, gets to plotting. Back on Earth, a budding romance develops between Thor and a scientist (Natalie Portman) but it isn't all that interesting, and it doesn't actually take up much of the movie's time. It's reasonably well-acted, and moves along at a decent pace. My grade: B.

My Week In Comics 5-18-11

This comic book post comes first because I still can't quite sit myself here in front of this computer to write about the movies I saw last week. I think they're the posts that most feel like "work," unless a movie is so amazing (in a good or bad way) that it inspires me to knock it out right away. I'm not sure if I could be really successful at a job where I was paid to write, being assigned topics and asked to come up with "x" number of words. I really need to be inspired by something to just write. My comic book posts aren't quite as much trouble. So...

Supergirl 64: The conclusion of the "Good-Looking Corpse" story arc in which Supergirl and some of the other young DC heroes team up to defeat Alex, the Project Cadmus clone of Dubbilex with some bonus Kryptonian DNA. Of the books I read regularly, this might be the one that's been the most consistently good. It wasn't always that way. When the newest version of Kara Zor-El debuted in her own series, I read a few issues and then dropped it because I hated the characterization and the stories. But a combination of a change in writers and the book's tie-ins to the "New Krypton" stuff in the Superman series got me back, starting with issue 34, and I've been happy with it ever since. Let's just hope she doesn't feel the need to walk across America any time soon.

Sherlock Holmes: Year One 4 (of 6): The body count in the "Twelve Caesars" murders is up to eight, while Holmes is more intent on investigating the apparent suicide of a friend. And at the end of the issue we're introduced to Irene Adler, known as "the woman" to Holmes (as explained in the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story "A Scandal in Bohemia"). So in the next issue or two, we'll be told more about why he feels that way...at least according to this story's writer. I wonder if Conan Doyle will approve?

Simpsons Comics 178: Sideshow Bob and some other prisoners are being sent to a top-secret penal colony...on the moon. Did you know that Springfield has a space shuttle launch center? Things go awry, thanks to Homer and Bart's new helicopter toy, the "Blackhawk Guillotine with admantium blades." (Bart to Marge: "But, Mom, it's got a French name...it couldn't possibly be a threat!")