Quick Review: The Twilight Saga-Eclipse

As with the previous "Twilight" sequel, "New Moon," you really need to be familiar with the books or have seen the prior movies to have any understanding of what's going on. In "Eclipse" you still have a lot of the mopey, dopey stuff between Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen (Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson). Edward wants to marry Bella, Bella wants him to make her a vampire first, he wants her to stay human and experience human things for as long as possible, she wants to have sex with him, he wants to wait until they're married, blah blah blah -- I just want to slap these two! Meanwhile, werewolf Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner and his abs) is also in love with Bella and insists that she loves him back but refuses to admit it. (At this point I am definitely on Team Jacob. Edward is such an annoying twerp.) Fortunately, there's more going on here: there's an army of "newborn" vampires being formed, and they're led by Victoria, the vampire who wants revenge on Bella. The Cullens and the wolf pack, longtime enemies, reluctantly agree to work together to combat the threat. There's the painful dialogue and its delivery, but at least there's some action, and a few clever moments. My grade: B-minus.

Quick Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

It's important to point out that if you didn't see the first "Twilight" movie, you'll be pretty lost. I did see the first one, and I liked it enough to see "New Moon," which starts out with the mopey joy of sooooo-in-love vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and his human girlfriend Bella (Kristen Stewart), until trouble erupts at the party Edward's family throws for Bella's 18th birthday. Edward's response is to break up with Bella. So much for love conquering all, eh? Bella is depressed but slowly comes out of it with the help of her friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Then Jacob turns into a werewolf...oh, enough. There was not so much action and way too much moping around compared to the first one, and characters' thought processes (such as what caused Edward to leave Bella) left me thinking that these people are kind of dumb.The so-called "Twi-hards" (is this the best nickname they could come up with?) will eat it all up. The rest of us have to settle for stuff like this...

 

This installment set up the whole "Team Edward" vs "Team Jacob" debate. The next sequel is scheduled for a June 2010 release. I'm not sure I'll pencil it in, though. My grade: C-minus.

Robert Pattinson is BOTHERED!

This is from "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon." All I can say is: me too, Robert Pattinson. Me too.