Sometimes I Love Dumb People

Presented without further comment...from me, at least...

 

The Onion article in question...plus a bonus!

Time For A New Intern

Lord, I haven't blogged in ages...long story for another time...but this is too much. Whatever the "Seven Mile Times" is, this is ridiculous on many levels.

In case you think it's a joke, the post continues on with the press release from the Avalon Police. Oh, and there's this...

(hat tip to the legendary FanSince09)

Fake Homer

I got a notification that, for a second, I thought said that Homer J. Simpson was following me on Twitter. Then I looked at the profile...

Really? I like "straggling" my son Bart? No. If you can't spell, don't make a parody Twitter account.

Accept no substitutes! Note that this is a verified account!

Summer! NOT Summers!

Over two years after her death and people still get it wrong, including someone on KYW Newsradio earlier. So I need to take a stand.

Why I Love Scumbag Warren Sapp

I saw a headline last night on Yahoo's home page about former NFL and "Dancing with the Stars" star Warren Sapp, who left no tip on a $70 bill at a sports bar. He claimed he got terrible service and the waitress called him and his friend "boys." She says that she gave him fine service and she only used "boys" in the context of asking what they wanted to drink ("Hey, boys, what can I get you?"). As I dislike Warren Sapp, who's had a string of on- and off-field incidents showing him to be a jackass, I have little doubt that her side of the story is more accurate.

I posted the story's link to my Twitter with a comment: "Once a scumbag, always a scumbag."

An hour and a half later I went back to Twitter and saw that I had a bunch of new followers. The count went from 480 to just over 500. My post was getting retweeted and favorited a lot. I even had comments from strangers (taking both sides) and entire discussions on Sapp and on tipping in general. With my Twitter handle included in the posts, I can follow these discussions without even participating because of the Notifications function. Some of the discussions are actually intelligent, while others have been, sadly, racist.

Meanwhile, one moron seems to think I wrote the Yahoo article:

As of right now, 17 hours later, that post was retweeted 151 times (not including those who do it manually) and favorited 324 times. Other posts in the resulting discussions have been favorited as well, so I keep getting those notifications.

And strangest of all, the new followers have continued to add up. I am now up to 683 followers. This freaked me out so much last night that I changed my Twitter password, fearing I might have been hacked. Nothing suspicious has happened, though, like sending tweets or DMs without my knowledge, so I think all is well in that regard.

I have no idea if these people (at least the non-spambots) are actually interested in me, or if they'll hang around for a while. But if they do, that's fine with me. Hopefully they'll check out the blog as well.

Thanks, Warren Sapp!

Five Years Of This?

Yes, as of yesterday this blog is now five years old. And what better way to mark the occasion than by thanking Wikipedia for explaining the content of a modern-day classic?

All these years and I never figured that out!

But seriously, I'll try to post some other stuff. I was thinking of a "best and worst movies of the last five years" post, but I've seen so few 2014 films...

HELP WANTED: Copy Editor. Apply Phila Daily News

Unless they're tied (which they weren't) only one team can be leading the NL Central at a time, unless they're tied.

I've written about these errors often in the last year or two. I haven't been pointing them out lately, but they're still going on. The other day a headline said someone was a "targed" of a lawsuit instead of a target.

And I haven't even gotten to my annual critique of their Sexy Singles promotion. Don't worry. It will arrive shortly.

More OKStupid Follies

Presented without comment, other than that I keep saying I'm going to blog more and then I don't, for various reasons, but I'm saying it once again...

Okay, a slight comment. I actually replied to this one with: "Pics, profile completed, an explanation of why someone whose profile says 'straight' and 'seeing someone' is sending a message to another guy...I'd say all of that is needed."

Swedish?

Google Chrome's got some 'splainin' to do...

Bieber vs. Brown

I think we need to set up this cage match: Chris Brown and Justin Bieber: two "men" enter, one "man" leaves. Who's your money on? Check the videos at each of those TMZ links and decide for yourself. Bad language on both videos. Imagine little Justin Bieber dropping f-bombs. For shame!

Rihanna's Bruises?

Note the title of the song, and the artist being promoted in the ad directly below the video. This has to have been placed there on purpose, right? No way it can just be coincidence.

Say It Another Way...

A slightly different pronunciation makes a world of difference. This is an actual place -- I used to go past it on a regular basis (ex-boyfriend lived nearby so either I was on a bus or he was driving me to/from his house). I always made the same joke about it. So the other day I happened to be on that same bus route and used my camera to record some video as the bus went by, just so I could get a screen capture of it to share with you. You're welcome.

The Same Old New Daily News

Yeah, I'm talking about the newspaper again. This week the Daily News debuted its latest redesign: new logo, some rearranging, a few new features. (And the size of the pages is smaller. The last redesign resulted in a little extra blank space at the top and bottom of each page. That space is now gone. Maybe soon it'll be the size of a paperback.) Honestly, to me it wasn't as big a deal as they made it out to be, although obviously the hype was done to get attention and sell papers.

So what am I complaining about now? First, this was in the paper all week:

Not the car ad, the part about the beta version of their app. (Should have cropped this first.) I went to that site multiple times during the week to try and download it, only to get a message that the page didn't exist. I sent an email to the address shown in the paper and didn't get a reply. Finally on Thursday the page actually existed, but this time I got the message that the Android version is only available for 10-inch tablets. For now, my 7-inch Baby Tablet is being discriminated against.

It only bothered me a little. It wasn't enough to inspire this post. Then I saw this sentence in this weekend's Sportsweek edition in an article about the Eagles, in which various writers gave their advice for what the Birds should do for the rest of this downtrodden season: "Give Foles the reigns." As in, Nick Foles should start at quarterback even if Michael Vick is cleared to play when he recovers from his concussion.

Of course, this makes no sense. The proper spelling in this case would be "reins" as in "Use the reins when riding a horse," not "reigns" as in "Prince Harry reigns over naked debauchery in Vegas."

These kinds of errors happen often enough that I still wonder whether the Daily News employs copy editors to correct spelling errors by its writers, or if the writers spelled it correctly and the copy editors are just not competent. They're minor annoyances, but annoyances nonetheless.

But if the one misspelling that I hate the most, "definately," ever appears in the paper, I will go postal.

A Tale Of Two Justins

Dear Justin Bieber,

It's quite simple: if you don't like being compared to Justin Timberlake...



...why would you sing a Timberlake song in concert?



Please go away,
Sincerely,

Joe in Philly

P.S. Sorry to hear about your recent breakup with Selena Gomez. If you need to talk, I know a guy who'd love to listen.

P.P.S. It's not me. Good grief, no.

A Fox-"Bones"-Romney Conspiracy Theory

I present to you a still image from Monday night's episode of "Bones." Here we see a map on a screen at the Jeffersonian, the fictional institution where all the forensic evidence in the murder cases on the show is analyzed. This map displays an area from which came some of that evidence, based on...well, a bunch of scientific jargon that I usually can hardly keep up with. No big deal, right? But when I watched it, a name on the map caught my eye. In fact, it jumped out at me immediately. So I paused the DVR and took two pictures. Look closely...

If you can't tell what I'm talking about, here's a closeup...

WTF, you ask? Why is Mitt Romney's name on screen? Is it a devious form of subliminal advertising by Fox, or by the show's producers, or a conspiracy planned by both?

Well, I did a Google search and found that the map is of an actual town -- Romney, West Virginia, not all that far from Washington, where the show is based. Still, I can't help but wonder. Can it really be a coincidence that the map used in an episode airing a month before the election is of a town that shares the same name as the GOP candidate for President?

Wait -- on the other hand, we all know that Hollywood is dominated by liberals. So maybe another plot was devised. Maybe the producers threw his name on screen just to rile up the Romney opposition -- maybe Barack Obama even gave them the idea!

What do you think? Should we demand an investigation by the Senate or something?

Why The Mayan 2012 Thing Needs To Happen

I saw an article online today and the title of this post came to mind. I thought that maybe the whole end-of-the-world event supposedly predicted by the Mayan calendar should actually happen. Then I kept reading, and found more things that solidifed my view. What were these things? Did Mitt Romney get caught saying something stupid again? Did another pro athlete say or do something homophobic? Did the NFL's scab referees make another bad call? (Oh wait, they're gone now. Our long national nightmare is over.)

Not quite. Just sample the headlines:

Honey Boo Boo Declares, 'Everybody's A Little Bit Gay'

Ke$ha: I had sex with a ghost

50 Cent tweets four-step plan to stop masturbation

Now, far be it from me to discourage Ke-dollar sign-ha from having ectoplasmic orgasms. I just dislike her and don't want to see her or hear about her. But for 50 Cent to cite the Bible as a reason to not masturbate while he's probably out banging groupies every night, well, that's unacceptable. Sorry, man-whore, but masturbation is all some people have. (Looks around nervously, walks away slowly...)

And the simple fact that my sacred blog has now been tainted by the inexplicable phenomenon/unadulterated mess that is Honey Boo Boo is reason enough. Come on, Mayans, put us out of our misery!

One Of These Things...

...is not like the other...

I can understand how Outsports is similar to me -- gay, sports -- and as for Jai Rodriguez, well, it's obvious, isn't it? We're both extremely attractive, youthful men. But the Wharton School? And it's "promoted." Or, in other words, an advertisement. I think Twitter needs this...

Taking A Picture

After I visited the new 9/11 memorial at the Schuylkill River Trail I was headed back up the ramp towards Market Street and noticed a woman (see bottom right corner) stop to take a picture (or video, perhaps) of 30th Street Station and the Cira Centre in the background, so I took one as well. The bridge shown is Market Street where it crosses the Schuylkill.

By the way, why is the official spelling "Centre" for the Cira Centre -- we are in the USA, after all -- and if that isn't odd enough, why is their website URL ciracenter.com?

Simpsons Already Did It (GOP Version)

Wow, Republicans, not only are you about 70 years behind the rest of us philosophically, but you're even 10 years behind South Park...

Today's Inaccurate Street Art

Can you identify what's wrong with this picture?

If you answered, "The Kardashians have no significance," you are correct!