Daily News Unveils 2015 Sexy Singles. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!

(HAHAHAHAHA! Clickbait headline, suckers!)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I failed to write about the annual Sexy Singles feature in the Philadelphia Daily News for the last two years, but I did save the information from both the 2013 and 2014 editions. So let's run though the numbers before we get to 2015, where something interesting finally happened. (YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT...never mind.)

2013: 26 singles. A slight increase in...no, wait, wait...I'm sorry, it's actually 25 singles. For the second straight year they included someone who stated she was in a "committed relationship." I'm sorry, Daily News, but what part of "committed relationship" don't you understand? If you're "committed" you aren't available, which means YOU. ARE NOT. SINGLE. Anyway, of their 26: four came from local TV/radio, three worked at least part-time in the fitness industry, three people appeared in movies, TV shows and an off-Broadway production of "Dreamgirls," a Playboy centerfold, and three "pro" athletes: a member of the Philadelphia Union, someone from an "Ultimate Frisbee" team and a woman from...the Lingerie Football League. When you want to watch serious football as much as I do, you head to the LFL, right? So, 14 of 26 non-"regular people." But we had, apparently, after a four-year drought, LGBT representation. It's not blatantly stated but the woman in question "organizes women-oriented Stimulus Production parties for the LGBTQ community." So I counted her.

2014: Still at 26, but none in relationships, and not only did we have another lesbian, unlike the previous year, it's definite! Mostly. She was quoted as saying, "I'm 90 percent into women, but I'll take a Viking boy with a beard and some tattoos any day." Ooooookay, then. Moving on: three from local TV/radio, two members of the Philadelphia Wings (again, a team that's no longer around), five part- or full-time fitness/model types (including one who is a model/actress -- but aren't they all?), a manager/agent for athletes and performers (close enough for me), someone who is (or was) known as "America's Foot Doctor" and makes TV and radio appearances, a member of the Philadelphia Orchestra, and rapper Schooly D. 14 of 26 non-"regulars."

After the jump: 2015 -- and my nomination for a Sexy Single!

Quick Reviews: This Is Promised Guidance

Okay, so these movies may not even be in theaters by now, but I don't want to just ignore them. And, if anyone really wants my opinion before renting or buying the DVDs, it'll be here.

What surprised me about This Is 40, the sort-of-sequel to "Knocked Up" focusing on the married couple Pete and Debbie (Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann), was how much bickering they did. Between their own issues, business problems and dealing with their children and parents, there were times when I was wishing there was more comedy and less drama. A nice amount of shirtless Paul Rudd, though, and there's the cameo with current (Scott Hartnell, now-retired Ian Laperriere) and former (James van Riemsdyk, Matt Carle) Flyers in a bar with Mann and Megan Fox. My grade: B-minus.

I started out really liking Promised Land, the film about natural-gas "fracking," with Matt Damon and Frances McDormand trying to get farmers to sign mineral-rights leases to drill on their land. Then an environmental advocate (John Krasinski) hits town and Damon's character is so completely flustered by this development it rang extremely false. And the big twist near the end was just stupid. My grade: C-plus.

I'd compare Parental Guidance to "The Guilt Trip" in that it's a somewhat safe and predictable comedy, in which a long-married couple (Billy Crystal, Bette Midler), called upon to hop on a plane and mind the grandkids for a week, have difficulty with how their daughter and son-in-law are raising the children. But the baseball subplot (Crystal's an announcer needing a new job) helped, the ending made me cry a little (whether I'm just easily manipulated by films or I'm getting mushy in my advancing age is yet to be determined) and Crystal and Midler have old-pro charm. My grade: B.

Quick Review: Our Idiot Brother

I'd like to thank Paul Rudd for starring in "Our Little Brother," because it gives me the excuse to show this picture again...

Oh, I could look at that all day. Anyway, Rudd is the title character, Ned, who's sort of a throwback to the 60s in that he has long hair and a beard and has a very casual and mellow outlook. He's selling organic food at a farmers' market when a uniformed police officer tricks Ned into selling him some pot. Boom, he's arrested and spends a few months in jail. He's released and is thrown out by his girlfriend, and after a brief stay with his mother Ned then bounces, one by one, from his mom's home to those of his three sisters (Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer). In each stop he causes great upheaval to his sisters' lives just by being himself: honest, trusting, and more than a little naive. Eventually, of course, things get resolved, but it's an interesting journey to get there. I don't think the trailers did this film justice. I expected a lot of stupidity but it's really a charming, sweet little film. My grade: B-plus.

What The New Zodiac Means To You

I turned on my trusty Twitter today to find many people buzzing about their Zodiac sign changing. I've located an article that discusses it. If you're not familiar, you may want to read it first. Then come back here and I'll explain what it all really means. Meanwhile, I'll look at something pretty...

If someone tells me THIS photo is a fake, I'm busting heads.

Welcome back! Now then, what does this Zodiac stuff all mean?

Simple: if you've been living your whole life based on being one sign -- letting it decide whether or not you date someone,  or whether you buy or not buy something on a particular day -- and then, suddenly, mysteriously, someone decides that you're no longer that sign, you're this other sign instead, essentially you're wasting your time. There are better ways to decide how to live your life. That, or, your entire life up to this point has been a mess, and it's all because they neglected to inform you of your correct sign, and you should sue for damages.

And seriously, Ophiuchus? Who wants to be an Ophiuchus, whatever that is?

Quick Review: How Do You Know

The bad news is that, despite a cast including Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson and Jack Nicholson, there's not much to "How Do You Know," another romantic comedy that's mostly lacking in both categories. It's harmless but it's just not all that interesting. Witherspoon plays Lisa, a softball player just cut from Team USA. Softball is her life and she isn't ready to move on. She begins seeing Matty (Wilson), a not-too-bright pitcher for the Washington Nationals. (We are told at one point that he makes $14 million per year. This was filmed pre-Jayson Werth, so clearly this is a work of fiction. But the one scene of Nationals Park did show a half-empty stadium.) At the same time Lisa meets George (Rudd), an executive at some sort of firm -- it's not really clear what it does -- run by his father (Nicholson). George finds himself the target of a federal investigation and is trying to deal with that and his feelings for Lisa. The romantic byplay between Lisa and George, and Lisa and Matty, is always in fits and starts. You just wonder why any of these people want to be in a relationship with the other.

So that's the bad news. What's the good news? I have another excuse to look at this picture of Rudd. Duh. My grade: C-minus.

Suggestions

Okay, so let's do this while I'm waiting for the Phillies-Giants NLCS to begin. But first, perhaps some fabylla eye candy...hmmm...how about a classic Paul Rudd? Yes, I think so.

There. So, I've done this now and then. When I do, it pretty much gets roundly ignored or heckled (hi, Robbie), but since I wanted to put up a post instead of skipping a day, and I'm not ready to write about this week's comic books, and I just can't get into paying close attention to the Flyers (or even the Eagles to some extent) while the Phillies are in the playoffs, and since (I hope) I might have a new reader or two, I thought I'd do it again. If you have a question you'd like me to answer, or if you'd like me to write about a particular topic, make your wishes known. I guarantee I'll write something. I can't guarantee you'll like it. I can't guarantee completely explicit answers to certain very, ummmm, personal questions. But I will write something. So, surprise me with some responses, why dontcha?

Quick Review: Dinner For Schmucks

This may be the quickest Quick Review I've done in terms of how soon it's been since I saw the movie. Since I tweeted about it after I left the theater (without mentioning the title) I feel it's necessary. "Dinner for Schmucks" is based on a French film based on a French play, "Le Dîner des Cons." In this Americanized version Tim (Paul Rudd), a midlevel employee at a financial firm, impresses his boss and earns a chance at a promotion. What he has to do is bring someone to a monthly "dinner for idiots," where each employee brings someone that they all can laugh at and the boss awards a prize for the biggest idiot. Tim seems to be appalled by the idea until he runs into -- literally, with his car -- an oddball (Steve Carell) who creates dioramas using dead mice. This leads to problems between Tim and his fiancee, Tim and a deranged old flame who's stalking him, and so on. There's a whole thing with an artist working with the fiancee. The artist is played by Jemaine Clement, best known from HBO's "Flight of the Conchords" -- side note: Clement spends much of his time shirtless (the accompanying pic is from some other film but you get the idea) but Paul Rudd is never once not fully clothed. That's a demerit in itself. Eventually we get around to the dinner itself, and at that point there were maybe two moments which made me laugh. As for the rest, well, here's my Twitter update from earlier: "That movie was stunning in its painfulness." I feel like someone should take me to one of those idiots' dinners just for seeing this film. My grade: D.

My 10 Best (And 5 Worst) Movies Of 2009...

2/10/10 UPDATE: I've adjusted the list to add "Precious" to the top 10. This bumps the previous number 10 to 11. Sorry, Paranormal Activity!

While I certainly haven't seen every movie released in 2009 (some films I haven't gotten around to seeing, others haven't opened here yet), I've seen enough of them. To be exact, 77 of them. That's about 3 movies every two weeks. On average it ended up being a B-minus year. The movies I loved the most all got A or A-minus grades. The worst ranged from D-plus to D-minus. I somehow managed to avoid an outright F in 2009. Interestingly, the two best and the single worst all have George Clooney in common. It's possible that a 2009 movie I see in 2010 could work its way into the best or worst lists, but for now, here they are...

The Best!

1. Fantastic Mr. Fox - George Clooney and Meryl Streep, animated. Funny and smart.
2. Up In The Air - George Clooney, in the flesh. Ditto.
3. I Love You, Man - Paul Rudd (swoon -- see photo) and Jason Segel and their bromance.
4. Away We Go - One I was rather surprised to enjoy so much. Charming.
5. Bruno - The most hysterical movie of them all, but what kept it from the very top is that it's essentially Borat all over again.
6. (500) Days Of Summer - The most original romantic comedy of the year, if not the last few years.
7. Precious - Strong story, strong acting, and an ending that feels right.
8. Up - Pixar strikes again.
9. Julie & Julia - Meryl Streep again. Delightful.
10. Star Trek - I wasn't sure they could resurrect this franchise but they did it amazingly well.


Honorable mention (among the A-minus movies but not quite in the top 10): Paranormal Activity, Outrage, Humpday, It's Complicated

The Worst!

Dishonorable mention (among the D-plus films but not quite bottom 5): Sherlock Holmes

5. The Hangover - I know everyone loved it and it made zillions of dollars, but it left me cold.
4. Jennifer's Body - Tried so hard to be hip and turned out a mess.
3. All About Steve - Sandra Bullock had a great year -- thanks to The Proposal and The Blind Side, not to this dreck.
2. The Ugly Truth - Katherine Heigl needs better material if she wants to be a movie star.
1. The Men Who Stare At Goats - Only George Clooney saved this from the dreaded F.

All of my 2009 grades are here. If something's not on that list it's because I didn't see it. Agree or disagree with my choices? Is there something from 2009 still in theaters that I should see? And isn't Paul Rudd dreamy?