Where The Oscar Show Went Wrong

It's simple: if you want to be young and hip, it takes more than just hiring young stars to host. I adore James Franco and Anne Hathaway, and I think they had decent chemistry at times, but they were given just awful material to work with, as were the Oscar presenters.

A lot of people on my Twitter feed seemed to think Franco was high. I think they were confusing him with his "Pineapple Express" character. And he spent plenty of time posting videos to Twitter, which I think would be a problem if one is both trying to use a smartphone and host an awards show at the same time. Maybe he was too distracted by Twitter. I just think it was the terrible jokes and banter from the writers. (If Bruce Vilanch had a hand in this, as he often has had in past Oscar shows, perhaps it's time to consider retirement.)

One of the few jokes that worked, and I don't know if it was part of the script or an ad lib, came after Hathaway's little song-and-dance number. Because, he said, "you got to wear a tuxedo," Franco came onstage in drag. He followed that with: "The weird thing is I just got a text message from Charlie Sheen."

The whole reason for Oscar's being is for Hollywood to, metaphorically speaking, fellate itself. They're all there to congratulate each other and kiss each other's ass. There's no room for out there, edgy humor unless they're directing it at themselves (or close friends/coworkers, such as Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law). That's why the Sheen joke went over well:

Quick Review: Repo Men

Hard to believe they've been sitting on this movie since it was filmed way back in 2007. "Repo Men" stars Jude Law and Forest Whitaker as Remy and Jake. They're, well, repo men. They repossess their company's property from people who fail to keep up with the payments. However, what they're repossessing is artificial organs. This is a film set in the near future, where the science of artificial hearts, livers, etc. has been perfected. No more messy transplants of human body parts. However, it is expensive. After all, a heartless (no pun intended) corporation has to make its profit. In charge in some capacity is Frank (Liev Schreiber). He sends guys like Remy and Jake out to catch the deadbeats, slice 'em open and take out the organ to return to the company. The poor...repossess-ees? Repossessed? What's the word I'm looking for? Anyway, they're left on the floor, gutted open. Now that's health care reform! So something unfortunate happens that turns Remy into a customer. Then he falls behind in his payments. Uh-oh... It's more of a black comedy at first, and shows a little potential, but then it turns into a standard action movie with chase scenes and wild fights and is much less interesting. And I'm mad at myself for not seeing the twist at the very end coming. My grade: C.

Quick Reviews: The End-Of-Year Clearance

Last week I went to movies on four consecutive days. I'm pretty sure I've never done that before. I certainly haven't done it during the post-Christmas week, when theaters do major business thanks to people being off work and school.

I started off Monday with It's Complicated. Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin have great chemistry as a divorced couple who, on the occasion of their son's college graduation, find themselves in bed together and begin an affair. Problem: he remarried and she has another man (Steve Martin) who's into her. Particularly charming is "The Office" star John Krasinski as the future husband of Streep and Baldwin's oldest daughter. Much has been made of Baldwin's nude scene. It's not that horrendous, and it's not even him at any rate -- it's a stunt butt. Yes, he's older and gained weight, but Alec Baldwin is still rather irresistible. But let's remember him as he was (at left). My grade: A-minus.

Tuesday, in part because I got to the theater so early I didn't want to wait for what I planned to see, found me at Did You Hear About The Morgans? For a while I was wishing I hadn't heard about them. Unlike Streep and Baldwin, Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant are not a good match as the titular couple, successful New Yorkers who are separated because he cheated on her. Trying to win her back, he takes her to dinner. They witness a murder, are taken into protective custody and are whisked away to a small town in Wyoming. Oddly enough, I went to the restroom mid-way through and when I returned, for some reason I disliked it less. My grade: C-minus.

On Wednesday it was A Single Man, starring Colin Firth as a college professor, an older gay man mourning the recent death of his longtime lover (Matthew Goode, seen in flashbacks). It's 1962, well before the Stonewall riots set off a major push for gay rights, so things are much more difficult for him. Firth is excellent, as is Julianne Moore as his best friend who wants to be more than just friends. It's directed by fashion designer Tom Ford and, especially at the beginning, it looked too much like a fashion show or a perfume commercial with a lot of slick editing. Ultimately, the film as a whole was a little lacking, and the ending was hinted at much earlier. My grade: B-minus.

Which brings us, finally, to Sherlock Holmes. Guy Ritchie reimagines the legendary creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as an action hero in a buddy comedy starring Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as Dr. Watson. The flaws in this movie aren't in the acting but in the plot (about a villain who is executed but manages to come back to life and takes over a secret society with plans to overthrow the British government and eventually restore America to the British Empire) and especially the characterization. Holmes is still a brilliant detective, but he's also often boorish. Holmes and Watson spend most of the film bickering. Rachel McAdams is wasted as Irene Adler, the only person to ever outwit Holmes, here merely a plot device to set up the inevitable sequel. I can understand trying to make Sherlock Holmes more palatable to a modern audience, but Guy Ritchie botches the job. My grade: D-plus.

My Week In Comics 12-2-09

...or, The Week of the Living Dead, thanks to two "Blackest Night" tie-ins and another book that I found in the store that became an impulse purchase.

Blackest Night: The Flash 1 (of 3): A fair amount of this book repeats events that took place in the main BN series, and a little bit of what is still taking place in the "Flash: Rebirth" miniseries, which should have been over by now but isn't, thanks to publishing delays. I'm not sure how much that will continue in the rest of this three-parter. Other than that, it's apparently going to feature the Rogues (Flash's enemies) vs. Black Lantern Rogues.

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman 1 (of 3): If this were a one-shot, that would've been fine. Wonder Woman vs. Black Lantern Maxwell Lord (the villain whose neck was snapped by Wonder Woman during the lead-in to "Infinite Crisis") at Arlington National Cemetery -- very well-written. The events at the end of Blackest Night #5 will apparently take precedence in this series as well, though. Still, if I'm buying issue 2 of either of these tie-ins, it'll be more likely this one than the Flash book.

Victorian Undead 1 (of 6): Enough of the Blackest Night pseudo-zombies -- it's time for the real thing! And they're in London -- in 1898! And none other than Sherlock Holmes is on the case! As a big fan of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stories, I'm not sure how I feel about the upcoming movie starring Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law as Holmes and Dr. Watson, but this book feels much more like the Conan Doyle stories. Other than the stuff about zombies, of course.

Superman: World of New Krypton 10 (of 12): This series is almost over. In this issue, a Kryptonian leader has been murdered, and special guest Adam Strange poses a valid (and unanswered question) about the missing suspect: "...it's a planet populated by people with x-ray vision...how is it none of you can find this guy?" Matters not, though, because DC has finally announced what all of this is leading up to in 2010: WAR OF THE SUPERMEN! I'm tingling with anticipation!

Simpsons Winter Wingding 4: A 48-page special featuring stories with a wintry theme. For starters, the Simpsons go green to the extreme -- and whatever happened to Mr. Plow's snowplow?