#EverySimpsonsEver -- Day Five

It's funny. I own the DVD sets for the first sixteen seasons (plus season 20, which they released very early -- without any deleted scenes or commentaries or such -- just to take advantage of it being the 20th season). Still, I'm DVRing episodes during this marathon. I want to see certain episodes again but I don't feel like pulling out the DVD sets, and if I'm not home or I've gone to bed...anyway, here's what I recommend for Monday:

MUST-SEE!

8/25 1:00 AM ET “In Marge We Trust” -- With a burned-out Rev. Lovejoy, advice-giver Marge and, of course, Mr. Sparkle.

8/25 1:30 AM ET “Homer’s Enemy” -- I can't say that this is one of the best, but it's unusual because of how it ended. It really shocked me.

8/25 2:00 AM ET “The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase” -- Mainly for the brilliant lampooning of the Brady Bunch Variety Hour.

8/25 6:30 AM ET “Lisa the Skeptic” -- The show's take on religion has always been interesting, and more nuanced than you'd expect. Here, Lisa discovers a skeleton of what appears to be an angel.

8/25 9:00 AM ET “The Joy of Sect” -- Members of a cult hit Springfield for recruits, but have a little trouble getting through to Homer.

8/25 11:00 AM ET “Lisa the Simpson” -- Lisa is suddenly not quite as smart as in the past, and she's really worried after Grampa tells her it's because of the "Simpson gene" that causes everyone to lose their intelligence.

8/25 12:00 PM ET “Simpson Tide” -- Homer joins the Naval Reserve and ends up in charge of a submarine during war games, which leads to an international incident.

8/25 2:30 PM ET “Lost Our Lisa” -- The premise is a bit illogical. If Lisa is so intelligent why isn't she able to take a bus to the museum by herself without getting lost? But I really love the episodes where Homer and Lisa bond.

8/25 7:30 PM ET “Mayored to the Mob” -- Homer becomes the mayor's bodyguard and gets on the bad side of Fat Tony.

8/25 8:00 PM ET “Viva Ned Flanders” -- In which we learn that Ned Flanders is 60 years old. Homer persuades him to go to Vegas, where they get drunk and marry a couple of barmaids.

8/25 10:00 PM ET “I’m with Cupid” -- Apu's multiple Valentine's Day gifts to his wife made the rest of Springfield's husbands look bad, so they try to sabotage his last gift

MEH. M-E-H, MEH.

8/25 5:00 AM ET “The Cartridge Family” -- This episode, in which Homer bought a gun and Marge was not happy, was one of the first episodes I rather disliked.
8/25 4:30 PM ET “Bart the Mother”
8/25 6:00 PM ET “D’oh-in’ in the Wind”

How I Celebrated Valentine's Day

I made the photo that is in this post my new desktop wallpaper, replacing fake Jake. Although it's not nearly as revealing as fake Jake (and I still want to know whose body that really is), this photo of Darren Criss is from Out.com so it's 100 percent legitimate. I have to say I'm concerned about this little storyline in an upcoming "Glee" episode, though.

The fact that this is what I consider to be my celebration of Valentine's Day tells you all you need to know about my single life. I didn't even get to use my IHOP Buy One Entree/Get One Free offer. And I would've liked some pancakes, if only to preview Lady Gaga's next awards show outfit. (Don't know who came up with this joke first, but I saw it so many times on Twitter last night...)

And now, to finish off my night, I'm going to watch RuPaul's Drag Race, featuring a whole bunch more people who have more reason to celebrate Valentine's Day than I do. That, or this episode of "The Simpsons." (So...do you...like...stuff?)

Female Psychology

The things you find when looking at websites that are...well, let's just call them less than family-friendly...

So much to work with here. First, "wierd" questions? Misspellings do not inspire confidence. What questions would they be? "May I come to your place, give it a good housecleaning, then cook dinner for you and wash the dishes afterward?" or "Would you let me give you a foot rub while I listen to you talk about your feelings?" might work. But are they "wierd" enough? For that matter, I wonder if 312 people actually "liked" that, if indeed that's a legitimate Facebook button.

And who knew there was gender-specific psychology? Or that psychology has loopholes? This is ground-breaking! Now, all I need is to discover the "wierd" questions that expose the loophole in male psychology and I'll be all set for Valentine's Day.

Then again, the ad says "I've made over 27 girls want to f--- just by asking..." etc. It doesn't say he made them want to f--- him. Just sayin.'