Quick Reviews: Miserable(s) Hobbit Guilt

Another wrapup of three movies I've recently seen. (The title format for these movie posts might become a regular thing.) Also, these and a few others will go into the 2012 summary based on their release date, not when I actually get to see them, although in these three cases I actually did see them in 2012. Warning: you might find my opinion of one of these to be controversial.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was just too long, drawn out, at times incredibly boring. The only reason to expand this story into a trilogy like its "Lord of the Rings" predecessor is money. Don't let anyone tell you differently. However, I thought it looked wonderful. I watched the 48-frames-per-second version (twice the standard rate), which caused a lot of consternation when some early footage was released, and despite the fact that I also had to endure 3D, I found it to be extremely crisp visually. My grade: C-plus.

Not filmed in 3D or 48 frames per second, The Guilt Trip will cause no consternation or controversy whatsoever. As a mother-and-son duo making a cross-country trip we're given a phoning-it-in Barbra Streisand and a neutered-for-PG13 Seth Rogen. There are a few mild laughs but there's nothing new or innovative about this at all. It's basically harmless. My grade: C.

Let be me honest: I walked out of Les Miserables early. I saw over an hour, but that was enough. I am not against musicals, even musicals with virtually no spoken dialogue whatsoever. I like musicals. But this one just sounded like everyone sang the same loooooooooooooong song. Even as one scene bleeds into another, even as the film jumps years ahead to continue the story, the songs were virtually indistinguishable. (Compare it to "Evita," which also has very little speaking and also has a couple of time jumps, but at least there's variety and clarity.) The only things that snapped me out of my stupor: Anne Hathaway's passion in singing "I Dreamed A Dream" and woefully-miscast Russell Crowe's painful vocals on whatever song or songs he sang. As it went on, and as more characters were introduced, I became increasingly disinterested. This was an absolute mess in every way (except the aforementioned Hathaway bit). Finally, I could take no more. And I even I managed to sit through all of "Rock of Ages." Still, I'm giving it a better grade than "Rock of Ages" just because of "I Dreamed A Dream." So, it's got that going for it, which is nice. My grade: D-minus.

Quick Reviews: June 2012 (So Far)

With this I'll be caught up in my movie posts! Woot!

Snow White and the Huntsman: I liked this more than I thought I would, although it was a bit ponderous at times. Charlize Theron seems to be specializing in extremely icy characters right now. She pulled off the evil queen bit without overacting the way Julia Roberts did in "Mirror Mirror," the first of the Snow White movies. To be fair, though, the two films are very, very different. My grade: B-minus.

Prometheus: Charlize Theron icy performance number two. But this thing...oh, dear. A mess of a plot about a space exploration to find and make contact with the apparent creators of humanity on Earth, ridiculous characterization, and what strikes me as a deliberate shoehorning of enough details to allow people to think of this as the prequel to "Alien" just to make money. My grade: D-plus.

Rock of Ages: I can see how this became a Broadway hit, a love story combined with 80s hair-band rock.  But this movie is absolutely terrible. I never was a big fan of that music, and although some of the original songs admittedly are great, as performed here by the likes of Tom Cruise (as seriously messed-up rock god Stacee Jaxx) even the good songs lose a lot. Let's put aside how the ostensible stars, and subjects of the love story, Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta, might as well be invisible for all their impact. I ask you this: how can Hough's character, a wannabe singer first seen on a bus from Oklahoma to Hollywood, be named Sherrie Christian, leading to her (and her fellow bus passengers) singing Night Ranger's "Sister Christian," and NOT have her boyfriend sing Steve Perry's "Oh Sherrie" to her? I waited for it in vain the whole damn film. I nearly walked out a couple of times. In retrospect, after seeing the duet of "Can't Fight This Feeling" towards the end by Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand (I'm saying nothing more), I wish I had. My grade: F.