As I mentioned in my previous post, I failed to write about the annual Sexy Singles feature in the Philadelphia Daily News for the last two years, but I did save the information from both the 2013 and 2014 editions. So let's run though the numbers before we get to 2015, where something interesting finally happened. (YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT...never mind.)
2013: 26 singles. A slight increase in...no, wait, wait...I'm sorry, it's actually 25 singles. For the second straight year they included someone who stated she was in a "committed relationship." I'm sorry, Daily News, but what part of "committed relationship" don't you understand? If you're "committed" you aren't available, which means YOU. ARE NOT. SINGLE. Anyway, of their 26: four came from local TV/radio, three worked at least part-time in the fitness industry, three people appeared in movies, TV shows and an off-Broadway production of "Dreamgirls," a Playboy centerfold, and three "pro" athletes: a member of the Philadelphia Union, someone from an "Ultimate Frisbee" team and a woman from...the Lingerie Football League. When you want to watch serious football as much as I do, you head to the LFL, right? So, 14 of 26 non-"regular people." But we had, apparently, after a four-year drought, LGBT representation. It's not blatantly stated but the woman in question "organizes women-oriented Stimulus Production parties for the LGBTQ community." So I counted her.
2014: Still at 26, but none in relationships, and not only did we have another lesbian, unlike the previous year, it's definite! Mostly. She was quoted as saying, "I'm 90 percent into women, but I'll take a Viking boy with a beard and some tattoos any day." Ooooookay, then. Moving on: three from local TV/radio, two members of the Philadelphia Wings (again, a team that's no longer around), five part- or full-time fitness/model types (including one who is a model/actress -- but aren't they all?), a manager/agent for athletes and performers (close enough for me), someone who is (or was) known as "America's Foot Doctor" and makes TV and radio appearances, a member of the Philadelphia Orchestra, and rapper Schooly D. 14 of 26 non-"regulars."
After the jump: 2015 -- and my nomination for a Sexy Single!
|Hey, Daily News, why not Paul Rudd? He's as local as|
Davy Jones was in 2009 and as single as the two people you
included in 2012 and 2013.
And now we're caught up.
2015 brings us a major surge in LGBT representation: after a total of 3 out of 194 singles between 2008 and 2014, or 0.015 percent, we have not one, not two, but -- yes, FOUR members of the tribe! And YOU WON'T BELIEVE...sorry, clickbait flashback again...but seriously, something strange is going on with one of these.
Of course, only one of the four qualifies as a "regular" person. And the published profile doesn't say he's gay. You have to watch his video profile to hear him talking about liking "manly men" from age 30 to about 55 -- WAIT A MINUTE -- THAT'S ME! I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THEIR DAMN PARTY LAST NIGHT!!!! Also, to make my job easier next year, I wish the Daily News would make it clear in the written profiles which genders their singles are interested in meeting.
As for the others: Rafael E. Alvarez Febo is one of five staffers for City Councilwoman Maria Quiñones-Sanchez who wanted to be Sexy Singles. The Daily News polled their readers to determine the choice. Geno Vento is owner of Geno's Steaks in South Philly (and soon at xfinityLive, aka Douchebag Central).
The final LGBT single? Here's what the DN said: "In the age of Caitlyn Jenner, we figured it was high time for the first transgender Sexy Single, and look who we found: South Philly radio personality Kayla Vasilakos." While this is an awesome thing, is that opening line slightly pandering? I felt it was. Am I taking that the wrong way? Also, I don't know what "South Philly radio personality" actually entails, but that makes her a celeb for my purposes.
But here's my real gripe: this link take you to the entire list of Sexy Singles, with links to their profiles and videos. I've scrolled up and down the page multiple times and Kayla is NOT listed on the page. Her profile page exists -- but you have to search using her name.
Anyhoo, there are 27 singles. Of those who aren't just "regular people," besides Rafael, Geno and Kayla, we've got three from the model/trainer (again, at least part-time) category, one being the guy discovered working out on the Art Museum steps earlier this year by Mr. Philly Chit Chat himself, HughE Dillon. The only pro sports rep is actually a retired player and assistant coach from the long-gone Philadelphia Kixx, Adam Bruckner. Adam has actually gotten more attention for his work helping the homeless, at first just as an individual but now through Philly Restart, the non-profit he started. Kudos to Adam.
There are three former "reality" TV performers, a woman said to have "caught the attention of producers for 2 local reality-TV shows, another described as a "media commentator" without further explanation, a staffer for City Councilman Bill Greenlee, and a rapper named Lee Mazin; I have no idea who she is but apparently Meek Mill discovered her. There are also three local TV/radio personalities. Two are anchors on Fox29: Alex Holley and Lauren Johnson. I don't watch their news programs but I'm sure they've put this on BLAST. The Daily News' nefarious plan to use other media outlets to sell papers may be working! On the other hand, they also chose an employee from the Philadelphia Business Journal. Somehow, I don't think they'll be writing about Sexy Singles. Also, can't the Daily News choose any of their own employees? Surely someone in that building is sexy. (I suppose they can't. It's like the radio station giveaways where they say employees of the station and whatever media conglomerate owns it aren't eligible.)
At this point we have 17 non-regular types. Do I even include the woman who was nominated by Reuben "Big Rube" Harley, who does photo features for the paper? Hmmm...considering the large increase in LGBT Sexy Singles, I'll cut them a break and call her a non-celebrity. 17 of 27 it is.
See you next year, Sexy Singles!