Quick Review: Burlesque

Many people want to compare "Burlesque" to "Showgirls." I've never seen "Showgirls" except for a clip here and there, so I can't make a direct comparison but from what I know about it, I'd put it this way: "Burlesque" is a cleaned-up, sugary, bright and sunny version of "Showgirls." It's like a fantasy-world combination of "Showgirls" and "Flashdance" and and any old sitcom or movie where the gang gets together to put on a show to save the orphanage or theater or whatever. It's like a cartoon without the animation. And it's pretty gay. Christina Aguilera hops on a bus from the middle of nowhere and escapes to Hollywood hoping to become a famous singer, and ends up as a waitress at a burlesque house owned by Cher. Christina has talent to burn but needs a chance. Cher needs to make lots of money quick or she'll lose the building. There's singing, dancing, romantic melodrama (Aguilera and Cam Gigandet --if I recall correctly from three days ago, with all the implied sexuality, he's the only one to get naked, even if only for a couple of quick butt shots), some humorous lines, villains of sorts, and what are the chances that everything isn't somehow going to work out? Even Kristen Bell (the burlesque show's star prior to Christina's arrival), who drinks a lot, doesn't seem to suffer all that much. It's like cotton candy: it's not healthy, it won't fill you up, but you just want to eat it all up anyway. My grade: B.

God de Sade?

I occasionally like to remark that God is a black, Jewish, pro-choice lesbian. It's a joke that is designed to irk...well, white, non-Jewish, anti-choice heterosexual men, or at least the right-wing nutjob portion of that particular demographic. Today I got a reminder of another remark I like to make about God, and while this one is also a joke, I think there may be a grain of truth to it: God has to be either incompetent or extremely sadistic to allow so many innocent people to suffer so greatly.

Natural disasters are one thing, but what about child-molesting clergy? Greedy politicians whose positions favor the wealthy? And so many others? They cause so much pain to so many -- especially the politicians, whose actions affect so many more people -- yet God doesn't smite nearly enough of them. Hardly any, really. Don't you think a bolt of lightning striking down one or two of these creeps live on national television would send a message to the rest that they'd better clean up their act?

What reminded me of this thought today was, as you might expect, Twitter. And the National Football League.

Randomly Random Randomness

A number of random thoughts, observations and events...

This is how my weekend has gone: Both Friday and today I've stayed in bed past noon. Friday was worse, as I was in bed until 2:30 pm and my cold was at its worst. Today was not so bad, because my sore throat is gone and I was only in bed until about 1:40 or so. Oddly enough, in between -- that would be Saturday -- I got myself out of bed at 10 am, and was able to see a $5.00 matinee showing of "Burlesque" (review forthcoming).

On both of those days I slept in, I didn't bother to shower since I wasn't going anywhere (except a quick trip to the supermarket Friday). Today I put on a long-sleeved Eagles t-shirt and sweatpants, and wore my robe over it. And boy, is this robe old, worn out and dingy. I should really get a nice new one, but I generally don't wear a robe that often. (See? I told you this was random.)

Another Simpsons sports moment of sorts: Tonight, a homing pigeon flew into a bedroom window and injured itself, and Bart was nursing it back to health because Lisa ("They're like rats with wings!") hates pigeons. Homer and Bart are with the bird in the backyard when Moe appears and asks Homer if he ever considered racing the bird: "If it moves, you can bet on it."

Quick Review: Love and Other Drugs

As you know, I've been anticipating this movie for a while now. "Love and Other Drugs" reunites Jake Gyllenhall and Anne Hathaway, who previously played a married couple in "Brokeback Mountain." Of course, in that movie Jake's character had other, ummm, interests. Not here, though. Gyllenhaal is Jamie Randall, a salesman for the Pfizer pharmaceutical company. He's basically a horndog, and uses that to his advantage. He meets Hathaway's Maggie Murdock at a doctor's office; she's dealing with the early stages of Parkinson's disease. They have a quickie and decide to keep seeing each other. She only wants sex -- not a relationship. It develops, though, in fits and starts. It's strained because of the way she wants to deal with her illness, and also by his success once Pfizer comes up with a new drug that he gets to sell: Viagra. At times the movie wants to be seen as a commentary on the big drug companies spending (and earning) mucho dinero on drugs to help a guy stay erect while people continue to struggle with real diseases like Parkinson's. During some scenes, often when Jamie's brother (Josh Gad) is in the picture, it devolves into a more lowbrow comedy. But the real heart of the story is the chemistry between Gyllenhall and Hathaway. And unlike so many movie romances, the obstacles placed between the couple are more realistic and mature. (Even the amount of nudity in the film fits. It's not nudity for nudity's sake.)

And now I'm going to say something that I've never said before about any woman: Anne Hathaway might be the one woman on the planet who could get me to go straight for a night. It would really help if my future ex-husband Jake were also in the room, however. My grade: B-plus.

Long Days At Jury Duty

Let me start by mentioning that I served on the jury for three trials -- two criminal and one civil case -- prior to this week, but it's been many years since I last was selected. We have a "one day or one trial" system -- if you're not on a jury after one day your service is over. The last few times I've gone to jury duty I've been there for a day and then dismissed.

I thought the same might happen this time. I got to the Juror Assembly room on Monday at 8:15 am (after going through security at the Criminal Justice Center, which was a pain -- remove metal stuff from pockets, remove coat, remove belt -- but still not as bad as the airport) and completed the forms containing the questions about whether you've served before, whether you are related to any police officers, whether you've been a victim of a crime or part of a lawsuit, etc. Almost right away they called for a panel of 50 to go to a courtroom, even before they played the standard introductory video. I was number 48 of 50. We were taken to a courtroom which wasn't the one where the case was going to be handled. It was just to clear the Juror Assembly room a little, since it was going to overflow otherwise. So in that courtroom we watched the video, and then we waited. And waited. And waited. After 10 am we were told that "something happened with the case" and that we could take a 10-15 minute break and then go back to the Juror Assembly room.

About 10:45 or so those of us in that original panel were then sent to another courtroom while we waited to begin the voir dire process -- where we're questioned about our answers on the forms, among other things. We sat for an hour, doing nothing court-related but separating the various copies of our forms, and passing them to the court officer watching over us. Then, finally, we were called into the actual courtroom where the case was being handled.

My Week In Comics 11-17-10

Okay, so I have to decide tomorrow (later today, since it's after midnight when I begin writing this) whether I have enough time to see "Love and Other Drugs" (with Anne Hathaway and my future ex-husband Jake Gyllenhall) and get my comic books -- or choose between one and the other. This is what passes for an Infinite Crisis in my life. Oh, and also as I write this the John Williams main title theme to "Superman: The Movie" came up in my iTunes! Hmmmm...

Batman: The Return 1 (of 1)
Batman, Incorporated 1: I tie these two together because the "Return" one-shot leads right into the new ongoing Bat-series. The actual return of Bruce Wayne coming in that muddled miniseries and in Batman and Robin #16 dilutes the story here a bit, but "Batman: The Return" sets up what is a very interesting premise for the future. That would be "Batman, Inc." -- with Bruce publicly announcing (again, this moment actually happened in B&R 16) that he's funding Batman's war on crime, and Batman's recruitment drive for an army of crimefighters, all working under the Batman brand. Bruce is now focused on the big picture -- not just on stopping crime in Gotham City as vengeance for the murder of his parents, but on fighting evil worldwide. And he's having some fun doing it, which we haven't seen in ages. The new series is one that I might keep buying.

Superman 705: Continuing his Trudge Walk Across America, Superman takes on a case of domestic violence. Something I recall he did back in the day, just before he temporarily died at the hands of Doomsday. This storyline has turned disappointing, after a nice start. Should have turned around in Philly and walked back to Metropolis, Supes.

Supergirl 58:

Talk About A Misleading Headline

There are all these news stories today -- well, one story but with articles on many different websites -- that have a similarly-written headline: "'Ugly Betty' actor kills mother with samurai sword." Yet, if you read the article you find that the guy who is accused to hacking his mother with said samurai sword isn't one of the actual male stars, but some guy who had a bit part in one episode (as well as another bit part in the movie "Step Up 3D."

Apparently these parts were so small that he doesn't even have a listing at IMDB.com (the Internet Movie Database, in case you didn't know).

So, is this just an attempt by headline writers to get people to read the article? Isn't "Man hacks mother to death with samurai sword" or "Aspiring actor fatally attacks mom with samurai" enough? Or is this just lazy headline-writing?

Quick Reviews: Megamind, Morning Glory, Harry Potter 7

I don't like to do this but I'm going to be brief with these and combine them into one post. I have jury duty tomorrow and if I'm lucky enough to get picked to serve on a jury, it will create something of a time crunch. So...

Megamind: Animated, so it's easier to appreciate Will Ferrell because it's only his voice. Megamind (Ferrell) is the arch-nemesis of Metro Man (Brad Pitt), superhero protector of Metro City. Metro Man always defeats Megamind, until one day when Megamind actually wins. Then he has to find an answer to the same question Robert Redford asked at the end of "The Candidate:" what do we do now? It amusingly plays off the legend of Superman's arrival from Krypton and even has Ferrell spoofing Marlon Brando's Jor-El. My grade: B.

Morning Glory: Kind of a mish-mash. A little bit of a comment on the news industry, mixed with an attempt at romantic comedy (between Rachel McAdams, the new producer of a network morning show with minuscule ratings, and Patrick Wilson) that falls really flat. Harrison Ford plays an old-school news anchor, being paid to do nothing until he's forced, due to a clause in his contract, to take the co-anchor job on the morning show. Diane Keaton is the other co-anchor, who doesn't mind the fluffy, non-news morning segments, so she clashes with Ford. They're the best parts of the movie, particularly Ford. The rest is just meh. My grade: B-minus.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1: It's the beginning of the end. While there are a few humorous moments, it's mostly tense, with action-filled scenes mixed with some moments that I found rather dull, as Harry, Hermione and Ron are on the run from Voldemort and his minions. A lot of what went on was a bit vague to me. I only saw each of the previous movies once, and never read the books, so one of those "Previously, on..." montages like TV series use would really have helped. If you haven't seen the other movies or read the books, don't bother seeing this because you'll be hopelessly lost. My grade: B.

I Think I've Been Victimized

Remember the other day when I posted about a funny website called "Privilege Denying Dude?" Funny(?) story. I got an email saying someone commented on my post. The email from Blogger includes the comment. But the comment isn't on my site, so I'm assuming whoever posted it removed it. Anyway, it starts out with:

I am the owner of the photo depicted on your post
It is a stock photo and can be purchased at http://www.istockphoto.com
The buyer of the photo who has uploaded it to memegenerator voilated (sic) the Content License Agreement
You can view it here: (then there's a link that doesn't lead to anything but "404 Page Not Found")
You cannot simply use a stock photo image as you wish.
The issue in this case are the following phrases from the Content License Agreement:

Then there's some legal-sounding stuff and more comments and it closes with:

The person depicted in the picture is being brought into disrepute. In this particular case many people have been insulting the model because they believe the model is endorsing those phrases. You cannot see this anymore because tumblr has already removed the content. 
My image agency iStockphoto is looking into the issue. I kindly request you to remove the images from your website since they are not inline with the permitted use of this particular image.

Please inform me when you have taken action.

Best regards
Luis

As I said, the comment is now gone. In the email I got when the comment was originally made, the Blogger profile link leads to a page that says "Profile Not Available -- The Blogger Profile you requested cannot be displayed. Many Blogger users have not yet elected to publicly share their Profile."

The Elephant Project

Back in September I wrote about the Gumpathon, the British and U.S. Marines running across the country to raise money for wounded veterans. They completed their run on Veterans Day, but you can still make a donation. Meanwhile, I thought I'd highlight another worthy effort with a post.

The Elephant Project is raising money and awareness for the fight against Alzheimer's disease. I learned of this through Twitter, although I don't remember how I started following them (which, I guess, is ironic -- once again, paging Alanis Morissette). The elephant is their symbol because of the old saying that elephants never forget. So they have celebrities pose for photos while holding an elephant beanie baby. A package including an 8x10 photo, an autographed card and an elephant beanie baby is then auctioned off, with proceeds going to the Alzheimer's Association. (This is National Alzheimer's Awareness Month, by the way.)

I refer to the Elephant Project as "they" and "them" in the paragraph above, but that's sort of misleading. One of the main reasons I wanted to write this was because of this tweet from last month:

  

From what I can tell from the About page at the website, this kid is doing much of the work on this by himself, while going to school and working at his job. He totally puts me (and perhaps some of you) to shame. So, if your financial situation allows, help this guy out, either with a donation or a $10 purchase of a 5x7 photo of one of the famous people.

Links to the Elephant Project: website, Twitter and Facebook.

Michael Vick And Moving On

As much as I've disliked the fact that the Eagles were the team to give Michael Vick his second chance after he got out of jail for his dog-fighting activities, and as much as I've had a nagging bit of discomfort as this season has progressed -- with Vick taking over the starting quarterback job and excelling, culminating in that utterly ridiculous performance on Monday night in Washington -- I'm starting to let that discomfort go.

There are always people who want to endlessly debate everything. In Vick's case it goes like this: should he have spent more time in jail? Was he punished too severely, either by the NFL or the justice system, compared to people like Donte Stallworth and Ben Roethlisberger? Is he really sincere in reforming his life? Is he going to become the same douchebag he was before, as soon as he gets his new big-money contract after the season (which he will, from the Eagles or someone else)?

That's fine, but, just like so much else in this country, there isn't a real discussion of an issue. There are just people screaming stupidity, like the caller to WIP calling Vick "sub-human" that I mentioned the other day.

Today I saw a post that was in my Twitter feed from someone named Sophia Bush.

Sorry, Annie Lennox

I've decided against a trip to New York City to see Annie Lennox.

That sentence is blasphemous, I know. So here's the deal:

The other day I was on Facebook and there was a post from Annie's page with a link to apply to get tickets to see her perform at the taping of "Christmas at Rockefeller Center." It said there were 500 tickets available. I clicked on the link and registered with the website (which has tickets to a number of TV show tapings, it seems). I requested two tickets, and actually got a confirmation. I clicked to print, and only one page came up (noting that it was for two people).

Then I noticed something on the website. It said that if your ticket was for two and you showed up alone, instead of being allowed in, you'd be put in the standby line! Since no one was able or willing to go with me, I wasn't going to make the trip up there unless I was guaranteed that I'd see the show.

I went back to the website today.

Privilege Denying Dude,Y'all

This site is amusing me tonight. The premise is simple: take a stock photograph, add a caption. In this case, the sort of condescending look on the guy's face really works. As the site says: "Look, I wasn't around when all that bad stuff happened. All I know is I got to where I am solely by hard work. Discrimination? I'm not going to listen to this. You obviously can't hear me: my reality is the only reality." People have submitted their own creations (links at the site), on the order of "Gay pride? What about straight pride?" and "Why do women complain about being approached on the street? I'm a man, and I'd love to be harassed on the streets by random women."

Here's what I came up with:

(NOTE: Image removed; see this update for details!)

Red Band Trailer: Love and Other Drugs

Ohhhhhhhhhh, I want to see this so freaking bad! This is the "red band" trailer for "Love and Other Drugs," starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway, which is out on the 24th. If you're not familiar with them, red band trailers are explicit, and you have to be over 18 to see them, unlike the usual, safe for all audiences, green trailers. So obviously the video is NSFW.



Sigh...

Oh, and for my friend Kurt: it was filmed in Pittsburgh!

More On Sports Talk, Plus Some Sports Talk

Yesterday I talked about the local sports-talk radio stations. One thing I didn't mention in that post, but was reminded of today, is that the stations and their callers often seem to be stuck in a time warp, endlessly discussing/arguing/screaming the same tired points. An example of this was the constant whining about the Phillies not keeping Cliff Lee this season.

Now, I mentioned that I listen to WIP when my clock radio goes off and when I'm in the bathroom. When the radio clicked on today (well, after I turned it off and went back to sleep for a while and then turned it on again) there was a caller complaining about how "people talking about not wanting to sign Michael Vick to a long-term extension because he might get hurt" (like he did against Washington) are way off because Brett Favre gets hurt all the time. Favre hasn't missed a start since 1992. Vick, just this year, missed three full games and part of a fourth, and might have been out another game had it not been for the bye week. In other words, you dare not say anything negative about Vick, in this guy's mind. The next caller called Vick "sub-human," doesn't think he should be allowed to play football, etc. So the whole debate over Vick and his crimes and his punishment just goes on, and won't end until whenever he stops playing for the Eagles.

Or will it? A while ago

A Little Talk On Sports Talk

Around these parts you often hear complaints about sports-talk radio in general -- hosts don't know what they're talking about and/or callers are idiots. In particular there are complaints about WIP (610 AM) because when they've had a competing sports-talk station they've generally beaten their competitor in the ratings over the last 20-plus years. The most recent competition has come from what is now known as The Fanatic, which started out on 950 AM, then began simulcasting on 97.5 FM as well, and added ESPN Radio programming to their mix.

I mainly listen to WIP only when the alarm clock radio goes off and when I'm in the bathroom. Other than that I'm listening to music or, on occasion, all-news KYW. I have rarely, if ever, listened to The Fanatic.

One thing people say about sports fans here is that they're so interested in Philly teams above all else, that national programming (such as shows carried on ESPN affiliates) just doesn't work here. But The Fanatic doesn't have too much ESPN stuff, so they're really trying to compete with WIP.

And now I have some real proof of this.

My First Poll: Justin Bieber's First Time

I decided to go see "Megamind" today. What a mistake. Not because of the movie itself, which I'll talk about in a separate post. Since today was Veterans Day the schools were closed. Since the schools were closed the multiplex was crowded. Lines at the box office. Lines at the concession stands. Loud, rambunctious children all over the place. And since I wasn't seeing something for a more mature audience, such as "Jackass 3D," many of those loud rambunctious children were in the theater seeing "Megamind." (Plus, instead of $5 movies all afternoon, they reverted to their weekend policy where only movies before noon are $5, and other afternoon movies are $7.50.)

In addition, the final trailer shown before the feature started was for the upcoming Justin Bieber movie, which seems to be some sort of concert/behind-the-scenes thing. It really frightened me. Then it got me thinking. This kid went from nothing to international heartthrob almost overnight. Does he have groupies? And if so, has he taken advantage of any of them? Has he, in fact, turned in his V card? With Kim Kardashian, maybe?

With that in mind, I've created my first poll for this blog. Exercise your right to vote on this very important question...

When will Justin Bieber lose his virginity?
	Oh, please -- he's already done it
	Age 17
	Age 18
	Age 19-21
	Age 22-24
	Age 25 or later
	He will never EVER have sex!
	Depends -- does it count if it's not with a girl?
pollcode.com free polls

My Week In Comics 11-10-10

Here's a novel idea: post this on the actual day I bought the books! Oh, and by the way, I've finished the final two Scott Pilgrim volumes -- Vol. 5, Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe and Vol. 6, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour. The last volume was only released in July, a month before the movie, so the film was obviously in the works for a while. Interesting. And, as I think I've said before, the differences between the books and movie aren't a detriment to the enjoyment of the film. Speaking of enjoyment...

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne 6 (of 6): ...or lack of it...this series ended up as kind of a mess. Confusing at times, and ending kind of abruptly. The best Batman moment this week came at the end of Red Robin #17, which I didn't buy but looked through at the store.

Comic Book Guy: The Comic Book 5 (of 5): This, on the other hand, I definitely enjoyed. Would it be a real spoiler if I revealed that Comic Book Guy wasn't actually dead? I suppose not. But the explanation is fun. Now, if someone can explain to me how Dr. Nick survived the giant shard of glass in "The Simpsons Movie" I'd really appreciate it.

Victorian Undead II -- 1 (of 5): So we've already had Sherlock Holmes vs. zombies and Jekyll & Hyde. Now, Holmes and Watson investigate a shipwreck and find themselves in danger. Meanwhile, Queen Victoria is also in danger, though she doesn't know it yet, as a certain Count from Transylvania is ushered into Buckingham Palace. Yep...now it's Holmes vs. Dracula!

Tonight's Glee: "Never Been Kissed"

The last time I wrote about "Glee" I was concerned with the regular bullying of the glee kids, and Kurt (the always adorable Chris Colfer) in particular, in light of all of the terrible suicides of kids who were victims of bullies. (And despite lots of publicity for the It Gets Better Project and other resources, it's still going on.) So I took notice when, during "The Simpsons" on Sunday, Fox ran a promo for tonight's "Glee" that was much more intense than their usual ads:



My big complaint was that no authority figures in the school ever take any action against these bullies, so this promo was especially of interest. Although by the time I post this it'll have aired on the West Coast, just in case you're recording it or plan to watch online, consider this a SPOILER ALERT. The discussion continues (plus there's a pretty picture) after the jump.

A Machine? Yes. THE Machine? No.

At AfterElton.com there's a column that links to two videos from "The Tonight Show" with guest Brian Wilson, closer for the (ugh) World Series Champion San Francisco Giants. Needless to say, his "friend" called The Machine also appears. I am not going to embed the video here. You can go to the link and see it if you want.

I am not posting the links because:

• The "Machine" that showed up is obviously NOT Pat Burrell. It's obvious even before he's seen sideways and from the rear. (The real deal follows after the jump. Again, might be NSFW for some.)
• I hate Jay Leno.

I'll leave it to you to decide which of these reasons is more important.

My Week In Comics 11-3-10

I was only planning to buy one book, but ended up with three. And after those, a Scott Pilgrim update.

Superboy 1: A new ongoing series. Conner Kent has adjusted to life in Smallville, but strange things are happening. Plus he has to deal with an attack by the Parasite. By the way, if the Parasite is ever after you, just throw a bunch of wheat kernels on him. It totally works. Don't ask me how, though. I'll definitely be picking this up each month, at least to start.

Batman and Robin 16: Since I haven't been reading this book, some of what's going on makes no sense. But the current Batman and Robin are joined by the original Batman to thwart the criminals. Yes, here's another book in which Bruce Wayne is finally, officially, back. And it leads to a bombshell announcement on the last two pages that got a lot of media publicity this week. But it's like I said in my previous post: without the final issue of the "Return of Bruce Wayne" miniseries, there's a bit of something missing.


Batman/Catwoman: Follow the Money 1 (of 1): This is unrelated to anything currently going on in the Bat-books. It's an amusing little tale, though. Someone (not Catwoman, despite the presence of her name in the title) has managed to make the Wayne Enterprises' pension fund disappear, and the investigation into the theft not only has consequences for the company's employees, but for Batman as well. After all, as someone once put it, "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" The Wayne fortune, of course, and Batman can't have the government finding that out.

As for that Scott Pilgrim news: I mentioned a while back that I bought the other five volumes in the series when Amazon had them on sale for half-price. I've managed to finish volumes 2 through 4 (titled Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness and Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together). There's really a lot that had to be left out to condense the six volumes into one movie, but I have to say they did a pretty good job in doing so.

My Week In Comics 10-27-10

So I got caught up on all those movies. Now I've got to do the same with my comic book purchases...

Superman 704: Because putting out one comic book a month can be grueling -- which probably explains the recent delay in this title -- the Superman Walk Across America has been interrupted for a tale about Lois Lane visiting her college town in Indiana (which Superman is about to visit on his walk) and getting a glimpse, via an old flame, what her life could have been like. There is a cute moment where three college kids -- two girls and a guy -- all claim Superman as their fantasy boyfriend.


Action Comics 894: Lex Luthor has a near-death experience. To be precise, a near-Death experience. Not to worry, he doesn't die. After all, with Superman over in the other book walking across the country, who's going to be the star of this book if Luthor died?


Supergirl Annual 2: Supergirl was thrown into the 30th century on her way home from Bizarro World and spent time with the Legion of Super-Heroes. There are hints of what lies ahead for her, or at least what may lie ahead. So many of these future storylines disappear when different writers and/or editors take over, or some huge crisis leads into new continuity, or...

Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Oracle 1 (of 1)
Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Ra's Al Ghul 1 (of 1): The final two special one-shots that lead to what comes next for Batman and his cohorts. While these stories have been interesting, it feels a bit like a puzzle that's not quite finished because of the delay in the "Return of Bruce Wayne" miniseries.

Really Quick Review: Due Date

I nearly walked out on "Due Date" two or three times. I felt, however, that in order to write about it I had to see the whole thing. I thought about it a little, and I've decided that there's only one word to describe this "comedy" in which Robert Downey Jr. is trying to get to L.A. from Atlanta in time for his wife to give birth and runs into Zach Galifianakis at the airport, to his deep regret. You may find my choice of word to be in poor taste, but then, so is much of the movie: stillborn. My grade: F. (First F of the year, and it took until November!)

My Priority Is NOT Keith Olbermann

In my opinion, it's not all that urgent that I contact MSNBC and demand they put the suspended Keith Olbermann back on the air. He donated money to political candidates. It's against NBC's rules for editorial personnel. It doesn't matter to me that they've possibly played fast and loose with their own rules over the years. That's standard just about everywhere. Some people get preferential treatment, some people don't. (Surprisingly, you'd think he'd be the one getting that preferential treatment. What does this say about his status?) If you want to guarantee that you're not punished for a crime, don't commit a crime in the first place.

And it doesn't matter that someone from Fox News probably gives money to all manner of candidates with no repercussions. (Pssst -- Olbermann doesn't work for Fox News, although thanks to this foolishness he just played right into their hands and the hands of his other critics. Let Fox News police their own if they want.)

No, I just can't get worked up about that. On the other hand, when a post is cruelly retweeted into my timeline with a taunting message about what might have been? Off with their heads!

It doesn't even make sense! The "if" probably is for "if necessary" or "if game is rained out" -- but there's no way they'd play a World Series game at 1 pm on a Saturday! This was posted today. Game 7 was scheduled to be played last night. A postponement would have pushed the game to tonight; continued bad weather would push it to Saturday night. This whole thing is ridiculous and has given me post-traumatic stress over the end of the 2010 Phillies season. I really want to sue someone for damages.

Here's an idea: instead of petitioning to get Olbermann back on the air, how about we petition to have the MLB playoffs re-played so that a more entertaining World Series could take place?

Quick Review: Hereafter

There are three parallel plots running through "Hereafter," directed by Clint Eastwood. The first involves a French TV journalist who is nearly killed by the Indian Ocean tsunami (graphically depicted, by the way; I can't imagine the horror of trying to survive that). She has a near-death experience that isn't very specific. She just sees bright light and shadowy figures. She tries to return to her normal life but is so affected by what she saw that she takes a leave of absence to research a book on the subject of the afterlife. The second plot features twin brothers in London, one of whom is tragically killed. The survivor, who by now is in foster care since his drug-addicted mother is hospitalized, desperately misses his brother and tries to find someone who can help him contact his brother. The third revolves around George Lonegan (Matt Damon), who lives in San Francisco and is making a meager living in a factory, to the consternation of his brother (Jay Mohr). George, you see, is psychic and can communicate with the dead. He used to give readings professionally, but couldn't cope with the reunions of loved ones with their dearly departed, or something, so he quit. It doesn't seem to be that bad, except for his annoying brother trying to push him back into giving readings. Naturally, predictably, there has to be a way for these three storylines to come together into one. It's well-acted but doesn't really go out on a limb spiritually about what exactly happens to us after we die. I expected a little more. My grade: B-minus.

Quick Review: Paranormal Activity 2

The sequel to "Paranormal Activity," last year's low-budget, big box-office movie, had me wondering how it would be connected to the first one, in which a young couple set up a video camera in their bedroom to get evidence of ghostly activity -- and end up getting more than they bargained for. "Paranormal Activity 2" still doesn't have much of a budget (though higher than the first one) or any known actors. The tie to the original is that this film is about Kristi, the sister of Katie, the woman haunted in the first movie. Kristi, her husband Dan, their young son and Dan's teenage daughter are the targets this time. An apparent burglary leads to the installation of security cameras throughout the house, a plot convenience that allows this "lost" footage to be compiled into the same faux-documentary format as the original. The teenage daughter does some Google searching and finds a possible cause for the strange occurrences. You could call it a backstory for the ghost. There's a mild twist in how Dan eventually deals with it. Let's just say he has a bit of evil in him, and made things worse for a few people. But overall, this one isn't as stirring or suspenseful as the first. The smart move would be to end the series here, declare victory over bloated budgets and go home. But I bet that Katie and Kristi have another sibling or two... My grade: B-minus.

Quick Review: Red

Finally. Time to write about a movie. "Red" is actually based on a comic book miniseries, but it's not a superhero epic or something way out like Scott Pilgrim. It's an action-comedy starring a bunch of veteran actors, and it's quite fun for what it is. Bruce Willis plays Frank Moses, a retired black-ops CIA agent who's bored with his quiet suburban life and rips up his pension check each month so he has an excuse to call the office in Kansas City to report his "missing" check and talk to Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker). They've never met but he has a crush on her. An attempt on his life leads to his going to KC to protect Sarah (since he is sure his phone was wiretapped), and he also gets in touch with the former members of his black ops team (Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren) to help him find out who wants him dead. It's a pretty solid film. It had some laughs and the action scenes didn't have me rolling my eyes much at the improbability of it all. It's what a lot of the summer movies could be if someone put a bit more thought into them. I'm guessing this was released in the fall because the stars aren't young and hip.

I do have a couple of questions: why doesn't Frank have direct deposit? I think that's mandatory now if you have a bank account. And how can he call a specific out-of-town office and speak to the same representative every month? From my experience, it just doesn't work that way in the federal government. And if this has happened multiple times, shouldn't Sarah have gotten suspicious? My grade: B.

This Sums It Up...

Submitted for your approval, the editorial cartoon from Monday's Phila. Daily News:

Yep. And judging from the quote from this article, someone still doesn't quite get it:

"I've been willing to compromise in the past, and I'll be willing to compromise going forward," the president said.

Sigh. I knew we should've elected Hillary. Oh, and you may remember I made a prediction about the Pennsylvania governor's race in my post about Outfest a few weeks ago. I'd just like to take this opportunity to say: I told you so.

Even Jon Runyan won election to Congress. It matters not that he was an Eagle. He's now just a dirty football player-turned-dirty politician. Enjoy your tea party freaks, Jon. They're your fans now.

The Right Way To Update Sherlock Holmes

I really disliked the Guy Ritchie "Sherlock Holmes" movie from last year, which was trying to turn Holmes into something more like a modern-day action hero. So when I heard about a new adaptation of the legendary character I was concerned. The plan for "Sherlock," airing on PBS' "Masterpiece Mystery!" series, was to not just make Holmes and Dr. Watson seem more modern, but to actually bring the characters into the present day. And not by being cryogenically frozen, either. I was very skeptical, but still curious.

The new Holmes and Watson

So tonight, instead of being bored and disgusted by election coverage, I fired up the old DVR and watched the first two (of three) episodes. While not everything is the same -- the deerstalker cap is long gone, as it was in the Ritchie movie, and instead of Holmes' exclamation that "the game is afoot," here he says, "The game is on!" -- the famous address of 221B Baker Street is still their residence, and Mrs. Hudson is still their landlady.

In the first episode, we learn that Watson (Martin Freeman) was wounded in Afghanistan, is shipped back home and is having trouble readjusting to civilian life. He wants to live in London but can't afford decent accomodations; an old colleague introduces him to Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch), who is very much a fan of texting and has his own website, "The Science of Deduction," and he quickly gets Watson involved as he is asked by Detective Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard for assistance in investigating a series of deaths that appear to be suicides.

The chemistry between the two leads is lots of fun, with quite a few allusions to the oft-speculated idea that Holmes and Watson are lovers. And the manner in which Holmes makes his deductions is visually striking. This is the fast-paced, energetic but still incredibly brilliant Holmes that Guy Ritchie didn't quite achieve with Robert Downey, Jr.

There's one more episode on PBS this Sunday, but if you didn't see the first two you can catch up online for the next month.

Some More Random Musings

Random funny picture.

A few randomly random items to hold you over while I gear up to write about those three movies I saw recently. Starting with some sports stuff...

• The World Series is over. Praise Jebus. So much for my prediction of Texas winning. The San Francisco Giants won in five games, in one of the least exciting Series I can remember. It got off to a decent start in Game 1 -- the Rangers scored single runs in the first two innings, and the Giants tied it with two in the third -- but after that it was virtually all Giants. They routed the Rangers in the first two games. The series shifted to Texas and the Rangers managed their only win, but the Giants then took the final two games. Except for that first game, there were no lead changes in the entire series. Once a team scored, they were ahead the rest of the way. The only interesting thing about tonight's game is that it was scoreless until the 7th. But at least George W. Bush's team lost.
• The Eagles had the week off. Just as well since the NFL is just bizarre. From week to week, you can't say for sure who's going to win a game, and the off-field stuff is mind-boggling. Just today, adding to the continuing Brett Favre drama in Minnesota is the Randy Moss drama -- the Vikings announced they would release Moss less than a month after giving up a 3rd-round draft pick to get him from New England, to the apparent consternation of the team's owner, who wanted Moss back.
  
  And remember all the drama over Donovan McNabb's being traded by the Eagles to Washington? Well, on Sunday, near the end of the game he was benched in favor of Rex Grossman with the Redskins trailing Detroit by 6. Rex freakin' Grossman! After the game Washington coach Mike Shanahan said that he benched McNabb because he felt Grossman was more comfortable running the two-minute offense. Today he said it was because...well, here's the quote: "The cardiovascular endurance that it takes to run a two-minute, going all the way down with no timeouts, calling plays, it's just not easy." So McNabb has gone from being a hero, the guy who would lead the Redskins back to glory, to a guy whose coach thinks he's not smart enough and/or out of shape! Wow.

Today's DJT (Dumb Joe Tale)

I was looking at the current statement for one of my credit card accounts, and saw a $25.00 transaction listed that I didn't have a receipt for and had no memory of. The statement listing said "PNL Advertising" followed by what turned out to be a phone number (there was a 0 in front of it so I didn't realize it was a phone number). I called the credit card company and the woman I spoke to said it was for "books, or a newspaper or magazine" based on the info in their system.

Still didn't ring a bell. If it was a book, if I didn't buy it in a store (such as Borders) I bought it from Amazon. The magazines I get in the mail (Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated) were obtained by redeeming Dividend Miles from US Airways. The last payment I made for my Daily News subscription was in June and the payment covers delivery through mid-December. I did not authorize any auto-renew option. For a moment I thought that might be it, thinking the "PN" in "PNL" might stand for Philadelphia Newspapers. But the "L" threw me off. Also, it referred to advertising and I didn't take out any ads. It made no sense. I asked if there were any more details about it, because if I knew where the store was where the transaction occurred (if there was a store) it might jog my memory. She found an address -- in York, Pennsylvania. I've never been to York in my life.

The credit card rep said I should call the number on the statement first, and gave me another number to call for disputed transactions if I didn't get it resolved. I called the number and got a voice mail that said, "If you're calling about a credit card transaction for PNL Advertising please call..." followed by a different number. I started to really get agitated, thinking that this obviously was a scam. But how? The card has never been stolen, and I haven't even used it lately except for a couple of transactions in September that were done online.

The voicemail continued: "If you're calling about a credit card transaction for Philly Dealyo..."

I hung up the phone, feeling incredibly stupid. Remember the half-price B-52's ticket I bought? Yeah. That. D'oh.