#EverySimpsonsEver -- Day Seven

And on the seventh day, the marathon continues. A few of the episodes I've chosen are probably not entirely must-see, but within the episodes are enough moments of greatness that I don't feel they should be missed. Your mileage may vary.

And while it's not listed below, the Season 13 finale, "Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge," airing at 11:30 am, features one of my favorite all-time lines, one that is just impossible for me to quote in person. In the episode Homer opens his own security firm, leading to this remark to Marge: "You know, I've had a lot of jobs -- boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby-proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country/western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe and missionary -- but protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all."

MUST-SEE!

8/27 2:00 AM ET “A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love” -- Mr. Burns, responding to a fortune cookie written by Homer (one of the jobs listed above), falls in love with a meter maid played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Burns wants Homer's help in winning her heart.

8/27 3:00 AM ET “She of Little Faith” -- An accident that wrecks the church leads to Burns paying for its repair in exchange for things like ads and vibrating recliners. This leads to Lisa becoming a Buddhist.

8/27 5:00 AM ET “Half-Decent Proposal” -- Artie Ziff is now wealthy but still obsessed with Marge. You can sort of guess from the title what happens. And the ending features an adaptation of Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)."

8/27 5:30 AM ET “The Bart Wants What It Wants” -- The Simpsons are going to Toronto! (Marge: "It's so clean and bland...I'm home!")

8/27 7:30 AM ET “Blame It on Lisa” -- The Simpsons are going to Brazil!

8/27 9:00 AM ET “I Am Furious Yellow” -- The Simpsons are going to...oh, sorry. Bart creates Angry Dad, a comic book character (based on Homer, duh) that is turned into an Internet cartoon.

8/27 12:00 PM ET “How I Spent My Strummer Vacation” -- Would you go to a rock-and-roll fantasy camp with instructors Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Lenny Kravitz, Brian Setzer, Tom Petty and Elvis Costello? I would. And so would Homer.

8/27 2:00 PM ET “The Great Louse Detective” -- Someone is trying to kill Homer. Chief Wiggum decides that in order to catch the criminal he needs someone who thinks like a criminal. Hence, Sideshow Bob moves in with the Simpsons. Bob to Homer: "How can one man have so many enemies?" Homer: "I'm a people person!...who...drinks."

8/27 2:30 PM ET “Special Edna” -- Probably my favorite from the latter half of the series' history. Skinner's ineptness at romancing Krabappel leads to Bart nominating her for the Teacher of the Year awards in Orlando, and the Simpsons get to go along. So many good lines.

8/27 5:00 PM ET “I’m Spelling as Fast as I Can” -- Lisa wins the school spelling bee and works her way up to the Spell-lympics, a national contest. Unfortunately, she's asked to lose on purpose.

8/27 6:00 PM ET “Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington” -- Krusty runs for Congress. Not really a realistic episode but the depictions of Fox News are perfect.

8/27 7:30 PM ET “Three Gays of the Condo” -- Going gay again. After a fight with Marge, Homer moves out of the house -- and into Springfield's gayborhood.

8/27 8:00 PM ET “Dude, Where’s My Ranch?” -- More for the beginning, which features Homer trying to write a new Christmas carol (the one Usher stole), which turns into "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders," which -- with David Byrne's production -- becomes a hit so big even Flanders and his boys are singing along.

8/27 11:30 PM ET “The President Wore Pearls” -- A takeoff on "Evita," despite the closing on-screen disclaimer.

MEH. M-E-H, MEH.

8/27 3:30 AM ET “Brawl in the Family”

8/27 4:00 AM ET “Sweets and Sour Marge”

8/27 6:00 AM ET “The Lastest Gun in the West”

8/27 8:30 AM ET “Gump Roast” -- Another clip show...although it does include the song "They'll Never Stop the Simpsons."

8/27 10:30 AM ET “The Frying Game”

8/27 1:30 PM ET “Helter Shelter”

8/27 3:00 PM ET “The Dad Who Knew Too Little”

8/27 8:30 PM ET “Old Yeller-Belly”

A Fox-"Bones"-Romney Conspiracy Theory

I present to you a still image from Monday night's episode of "Bones." Here we see a map on a screen at the Jeffersonian, the fictional institution where all the forensic evidence in the murder cases on the show is analyzed. This map displays an area from which came some of that evidence, based on...well, a bunch of scientific jargon that I usually can hardly keep up with. No big deal, right? But when I watched it, a name on the map caught my eye. In fact, it jumped out at me immediately. So I paused the DVR and took two pictures. Look closely...

If you can't tell what I'm talking about, here's a closeup...

WTF, you ask? Why is Mitt Romney's name on screen? Is it a devious form of subliminal advertising by Fox, or by the show's producers, or a conspiracy planned by both?

Well, I did a Google search and found that the map is of an actual town -- Romney, West Virginia, not all that far from Washington, where the show is based. Still, I can't help but wonder. Can it really be a coincidence that the map used in an episode airing a month before the election is of a town that shares the same name as the GOP candidate for President?

Wait -- on the other hand, we all know that Hollywood is dominated by liberals. So maybe another plot was devised. Maybe the producers threw his name on screen just to rile up the Romney opposition -- maybe Barack Obama even gave them the idea!

What do you think? Should we demand an investigation by the Senate or something?

Quick Review: The Ides Of March

Did you know politics is a dirty, cutthroat business? If you didn't, first check yourself for a pulse. Then watch a few hours of MSNBC, Fox News, etc. before you see "The Ides of March" so you won't be too shocked by what goes on. The film takes place in the days leading up to the Ohio presidential primary, and the Democratic race is close. Oh, and George Clooney, whose Mike Morris has a slight lead, is the governor of Pennsylvania. If only art imitated life. Morris is charismatic and very much progressive -- sort of a combination of Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Ryan Gosling plays Morris' junior campaign manager, a budding political genius who is all about making a difference. Philip Seymour Hoffman is the senior campaign chief and much more cynical. Then events occur that turn things all topsy-turvy. Some are the work of the opposing campaign manager (Paul Giamatti), some the work of Gosling's and Hoffman's characters, some are caused by a Morris campaign intern (Evan Rachel Wood). Did someone say "intern"? Uh-oh... Anyway, I wasn't quite blown away by this movie. It's entertaining, sometimes more realistic than you'd expect, other times a bit too far-fetched. Solid but not spectacular, although it might get some love when awards season begins. My grade: B.

My Priority Is NOT Keith Olbermann

In my opinion, it's not all that urgent that I contact MSNBC and demand they put the suspended Keith Olbermann back on the air. He donated money to political candidates. It's against NBC's rules for editorial personnel. It doesn't matter to me that they've possibly played fast and loose with their own rules over the years. That's standard just about everywhere. Some people get preferential treatment, some people don't. (Surprisingly, you'd think he'd be the one getting that preferential treatment. What does this say about his status?) If you want to guarantee that you're not punished for a crime, don't commit a crime in the first place.

And it doesn't matter that someone from Fox News probably gives money to all manner of candidates with no repercussions. (Pssst -- Olbermann doesn't work for Fox News, although thanks to this foolishness he just played right into their hands and the hands of his other critics. Let Fox News police their own if they want.)

No, I just can't get worked up about that. On the other hand, when a post is cruelly retweeted into my timeline with a taunting message about what might have been? Off with their heads!

It doesn't even make sense! The "if" probably is for "if necessary" or "if game is rained out" -- but there's no way they'd play a World Series game at 1 pm on a Saturday! This was posted today. Game 7 was scheduled to be played last night. A postponement would have pushed the game to tonight; continued bad weather would push it to Saturday night. This whole thing is ridiculous and has given me post-traumatic stress over the end of the 2010 Phillies season. I really want to sue someone for damages.

Here's an idea: instead of petitioning to get Olbermann back on the air, how about we petition to have the MLB playoffs re-played so that a more entertaining World Series could take place?