#EverySimpsonsEver -- Day Twelve

The end. Or is it? FXX is going to air four- or six-hour blocks of episodes five days a week starting Tuesday, the day after the Every Simpsons Ever marathon finally ends. If FXX is smart they won't go too overboard on the later seasons. As you can see from the list below, and the last couple of posts, the pickings are really slim.

MUST-SEE!

9/1 1:30 AM ET “Lisa Goes Gaga” -- The Lady Gaga Express is roaring across the country until she sees some sad billboards for Springfield ("sister city with no one"), so she has the train stop there so she can build up the town's self-esteem. It's just in time for Lisa, whose unpopularity with her schoolmates is at an all-time high. The numerous jokes and jabs at everything Gaga are mitigated by the fact that she's in on them.

9/1 9:30 AM ET “Dark Knight Court” -- At an Easter celebration a prank sends eggs flying into the crowd. Bart is accused but he denies it, and is granted a trial with schoolmates as the jury and Janet Reno presiding as judge (because she plays chess by mail -- snail mail -- with Grampa). The same egg attack and its aftermath leads Burns to become "Fruitbat Man," thwarting "crimes" (townspeople are playing criminals, paid off by Smithers).

9/1 5:00 PM ET “Steal This Episode” -- Tired of hearing spoilers for movies he hasn't seen, as well as today's multiplex experience (such as pre-movie commercials), Homer begins illegally downloading movies...and then starts showing them in his backyard.

9/1 10:30 PM ET “Brick Like Me” -- The LEGO episode. Fun, very well-done, but would have been better had it arrived before The LEGO Movie.

MEH. M-E-H, MEH.

9/1 3:00 AM ET “Adventures in Baby-Getting”

9/1 3:30 AM ET “Gone Abie Gone”

9/1 4:00 AM ET “Penny-Wiseguys”

9/1 7:00 AM ET “Changing of the Guardian”

9/1 8:30 AM ET “Gorgeous Grampa “

9/1 9:00 AM ET “Black-eyed Please”

9/1 11:00 AM ET “Whiskey Business”

9/1 12:00 PM ET “The Saga of Carl”

9/1 2:30 PM ET “YOLO" -- Yo, no.

9/1 4:00 PM ET “Yellow Subterfuge”

9/1 4:30 PM ET “White Christmas Blues”

9/1 9:30 PM ET “Days of Future Future”

#EverySimpsonsEver -- Day Four

The good thing about the FXX marathon: the episodes are being shown in full, with none of the cuts made to allow for more commercials in syndication. The not-so-good thing: it's been altered to fit the HD widescreen. That whole aspect ration thing. Sometimes it doesn't matter, but sometimes it can ruin a sight gag.

Again, I had to leave out many episodes still worth watching.

MUST-SEE!

8/24 1:30 AM ET “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Pt. 1″
8/24 2:00 AM ET “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Pt. 2″ -- Better than "Who Shot J.R.?" You tell me. Dallas didn't have the advantage of making jokes that led to... (continued three episodes down)

8/24 2:30 AM ET “Radioactive Man” -- The movie based on the comic book is filming in Springfield. With Rainier Wolfcastle in the title role. "Up and atom!" "Up and at them!"

8/24 3:30 AM ET “Bart Sells His Soul” -- I love this so much, especially the beginning, with Bart at the door of the church, handing out sheet music to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" disguised as a religious song, "In The Garden Of Eden, by I. Ron Butterfly" (Homer to Marge: "Remember when we used to make out to this hymn?")

8/24 6:30 AM ET “The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular” -- (continued from above) ...a line about an alternate ending of "Who Shot Mr. Burns" in which "you would have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence...and that would be downright nutty." (This is the way to do a clip show, by the way.)

8/24 8:00 AM ET “Two Bad Neighbors” -- In which George H.W. and Barbra Bush move to Springfield, across the street from the Simpsons. The jokes at George's expense...

8/24 10:30 AM ET “The Day the Violence Died” -- More trouble for Itchy & Scratchy thanks to the Simpson family. Bart meets the guy who actually created Itchy (but was cheated out of the royalties and is now homeless) and helps him win a lawsuit that bankrupts the studio.

8/24 11:00 AM ET “A Fish Called Selma” -- Troy McClure needs to get married to resurrect his career. Enter Selma Bouvier.

8/24 7:00 PM ET “The Springfield Files “ -- Homer claims to have seen an alien and FBI agents Mulder and Scully from "The X-Files" investigate.

8/24 8:30 PM ET “Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious” -- Marge's stressed and Homer agrees to hire a nanny... Shary: “Hello, I’m Shary Bobbins.” Homer: “Did you say Mary Pop-“ Shary: “No! I definitely did not. I’m an original creation, like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck.” It gets weirder from there, and Shary's farewell is a precursor to an ending to an episode later in the series that stunned me when I first saw it.

8/24 9:30 PM ET “Homer’s Phobia” -- The first time they really dealt with the gay issue. Fabulous. I really want to go to work at the gay steel mill, by the way.

MEH. M-E-H, MEH.

8/24 12:30 AM ET “The Springfield Connection”
8/24 3:00 AM ET “Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily”
8/24 7:30 AM ET “Team Homer”
8/24 12:30 PM ET “Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in “The Curse of the Flying Hellfish””

#EverySimpsonsEver -- Day Three

The FXX Simpsons marathon is in full swing! It's still very difficult for me to not just list every episode. I've left out some really great ones. In a couple of cases I chose episodes featuring big musical numbers...

MUST-SEE!

8/23 2:00 AM ET “Krusty Gets Kancelled” -- Filled with guest stars appearing (or, in one case, not appearing) on Krusty's comeback special: Johnny Carson, Hugh Hefner, Bette Midler, Barry White, Luke Perry, Elizabeth Taylor and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

8/23 3:00 AM ET “Cape Feare” -- One of a series of excellent Sideshow Bob episodes.

8/23 4:30 AM ET “Treehouse of Horror IV” -- In one of the tales, Homer sells his soul. For a donut. Mmmm, donuts...where was I? Oh, year. After some family begging the Devil -- Ned Flanders -- agrees to a trial before claiming Homer's soul, and stacks the jury with: Benedict Arnold, John Wilkes Booth, Lizzie Borden, Blackbeard, John Dillinger, Richard Nixon (who was actually still alive at the time this aired)...and "the starting line-up of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers." But something is wrong with this picture...

8/23 6:00 AM ET “Boy-Scoutz ‘n the Hood” -- If for nothing else but seeing Bart and Milhouse, on a Squishee bender, going crazy...Broadway style!

8/23 6:30 AM ET “The Last Temptation of Homer” -- A new co-worker is attracted to Homer, and he's attracted to her. They are chosen to represent the power plant at a convention in Capitol City. Nary a visit to a Chinese restaurant goes by without me thinking of the fortune cookies from this episode.

8/23 8:30 AM ET “Homer and Apu” -- Again, a musical number is a standout. "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" Apu does. But he's been fired, and replaced by actor James Woods.

8/23 9:30 AM ET “Deep Space Homer” -- "I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords!" Oh, Kent Brockman, don't ever change.

8/23 4:00 PM ET “Treehouse of Horror V” -- One of my favorite Halloween specials, featuring the "Shining" parody and Homer's toaster-turned-time machine.

8/23 5:00 PM ET “Lisa on Ice” -- A hockey episode! Needing to avoid failing gym, Lisa accidentally discovers that she's a stellar goalie. And once she gets into it, look out: “Hey, Milhouse! Knock him down if he’s in your way. Jimbo! Jimbo, go for the face! Look! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard. Hack the bone! Hack the bone!” Homer, at first, has a different view: "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such-and-such." Bonus quote: "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

8/23 7:00 PM ET “Homer the Great” -- Stonecutters. 'Nuff said.

8/23 11:00 PM ET “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds” -- In which Santa's Little Helper becomes a father twenty-five times over, and Mr. Burns offers to take all the puppies in...in order to make a tuxedo. Musical standout: "See My Vest."

MEH. M-E-H, MEH.

8/23 12:00 AM ET “So It’s Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show”
8/23 2:30 PM ET “Another Simpsons Clip Show”

These two are pretty easy. The first is framed by Bart's April Fool's prank on Homer that goes badly (for Homer), and the second by a family discussion of love and romance with similarly-themed clips.

#EverySimpsonsEver -- Day One

The greatest twelve days in the history of television is nearly upon us.

Starting tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. Eastern time, FXX begins airing a marathon of every single episode from the first 25 seasons of "The Simpsons," plus "The Simpsons Movie," in order. I desperately wanted someone to sponsor my attempt to stay awake for the entire twelve days and watch the entire marathon. I mean, I would need some support to even attempt that -- people to cheer me on, prepare my food and beverages, someone to slap me awake after a few seconds of dozing -- but it did not happen because no one with money or power apparently follows me on Twitter, and nothing I've said or done online has ever gone viral.

Anyway, I thought that I'd post daily listings of at least five must-see episodes. And, to be fair, at least one that you can skip, if you're going to try and watch as much as possible and want the occasional nap. (The "at least" part is because I couldn't limit this first day to just five. As much as I love the show, I may not have this problem by the end of the marathon.)

MUST-SEE!

8/21 12:30 PM ET “Moaning Lisa” -- I know many people don't care for the Lisa-centric episodes but I identify with her struggles a little, and I loved Marge's response to Lisa's following her advice.

8/21 4:30 PM ET  “Bart Gets an 'F'” -- Bart's going to have to repeat the 4th grade unless he passes a makeup test. As he didn't study, he prays for school to be closed due to a blizzard. God answers his prayer...

8/21 5:00 PM ET “Simpson and Delilah” -- The first episode that touched on the gay thing. Homer commits insurance fraud to obtain Dimoxinil, which cures his baldness and leads to a promotion to an executive job -- and an assistant, played by Harvey Fierstein.

8/21 6:00 PM ET “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish” -- Commentary on a political system that has only gotten worse since this originally aired. Mr. Burns runs for governor and is doing terribly in the polls, until his handlers execute a comeback. Then he has a televised dinner at the home of a regular family: the Simpsons. Oops.

8/21 7:30 PM ET “Bart vs. Thanksgiving” -- Features one of my early favorite moments, when Homer explains to Bart, who doesn't recognize Bullwinkle or Underdog, that the Macy's Thanksgiving parade shouldn't be flooded with "flash-in-the-pan" balloons...as a Bart Simpson balloon appears on their TV screen. Also: Bart makes Lisa cry. Then they make me cry.

8/21 8:30 PM ET “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge” -- My favorite episode ever, I think. Marge's protest against violence in cartoons leads to the end of Itchy & Scratchy as we know it.

8/21 9:30 PM ET “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish” -- It may be Homer's last day alive due to eating possibly poisoned fugu at a sushi bar. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa perform "The Theme from 'Shaft'" in the karaoke bar.

MEH. M-E-H, MEH.

8/21 12:00 PM ET “Bart the General”

8/21 1:30 PM ET “The Telltale Head”

Okay, you probably won't need a nap during the afternoon of the very first day, but these two Season 1 episodes didn't connect with me like the others.