Quick Reviews (non-Oscar edition): Legion, When In Rome

I'm finally getting around to discussing the movies I've seen in the last 10 days. I've checked two more of the Oscar Best Picture nominees off my list, but first, a swift dispatch of two new releases.

"Legion" poses the question, "What would God do if he became angry with mankind?" In this movie, he sends his angels to destroy the world. But first, he wants an archangel to kill the unborn child of a young woman in the middle of nowhere. Said archangel (Paul Bettany) decides to defy God, comes to Earth, cuts off his wings and seeks to protect the pregnant girl. All kinds of violence ensues, with only a couple of over-the-top moments countering the remaining crap. Among the things that make no sense: why do the angels have to possess humans in order to fight? And if God is all-powerful, why wouldn't he just flood the Earth again, or do something even more permanent? Why rely on this convoluted plan involving angels to begin with? My grade: D.

And I was pretty much right about "When In Rome." A woman (Kristen Bell) who's given up on true love attends her sister's wedding in Rome. Instead of throwing a coin into a fountain and wishing for love, she takes some out. She returns to New York and is followed by the people who tossed the coins in, now magically and ardently in love with her. Conveniently, they're all straight white males, including one who may actually be into her without the magic involved (Josh "Mr. Fergie" Duhamel, pictured -- pretty but bland). Wouldn't it have been fun if she had plucked out a coin that belonged to a woman? Come to think of it, no. My grade: D-plus.