Amazing Race: Trickery, Then Victory, Then Bitchery

Because it's the finale and because I'm writing about this tonight, rather than waiting a few days, I'm going to begin with the ever-so-popular SPOILER ALERT!!!

You've been warned.

Amazing Race: Oh, My Gravy!

A funny thing happened on the way to the Seychelles...well, actually it was mostly after they arrived. Teams kept leaving something where they shouldn't. Coconuts, bottles, backpacks...and I get mad if I leave an umbrella on the bus...

The teams flew from France to the Seychelles, islands in the Indian Ocean. Since it was such a long trip, all teams were on the same flight. When this happens, whatever teams are in front immediately and arbitrarily lose their advantage. Thus, thanks to their reserving seats at the front of the plane, after the flight landed, we were treated to the sight of the incorrigible morons, Brent and Caite, in first place as they got to the clue box. How I hate them. (I'm not even going to bother referring to them as models. To me, they're morons, plain and simple.) They were thrilled, though, and Caite reiterated her main feeling from last week: "I just wanna get the mean lesbians out."

The "mean lesbians" in question, Carol and Brandy, may not be so popular. When the moron team and detectives Louie and Michael arrived at the pit stop, Phil Keoghan asked if they wanted to see a particular team eliminated. Both teams replied that they wanted the lesbians out, and Brent helpfully added, "From what I heard, it's pretty anonymous amongst the teams." Oy.

The attitude of teams that screw up is fascinating. There was a Detour in which teams had to either: load a cart with coconuts -- without leaving any behind -- and drive the cart (pulled by an ox) to a fruit vendor stand; or lure a tortoise along a race path and across a marker.

Three of the five teams that chose "Ox Trot" somehow managed to leave a coconut behind when they left for the fruit vendor stand: the morons, the lesbians and the cowboys. (More after the jump, including the ever-popular shirtless pic.)

Amazing Race: Smiths Surge

I'll be kind and put a SPOILER ALERT here. Don't read further if you don't want to know who's out of the Race.

 

When we last left Steve Smith and his daughter Allie, the former Phils coach was practically invisible on "The Amazing Race," and were 7th of the 9 teams still alive. This week, the Smiths got a little more screen time as the teams moved from Chile to Argentina. (With the powerful earthquake devastating Chile over the weekend, a brief message of acknowledgment from host Phil Keoghan was shown at the start of the episode.)

In Argentina, teams had a choice of Detours -- a task they had to fulfill before receiving their next clue. The Smiths chose the one that nvolved playing polo but with wooden horses instead of actual horses. Steve (who was shown falling down while running earlier) was groaning in pain while helping move the horse to where they had struck the ball (teams had 9 shots to move the ball down the field to score; if they failed they had to start over). Allie asked him what it was that was hurting, and Steve said something like "I'm 57, what doesn't hurt?" However, not only did they complete their tasks successfully, but thanks to troubles other teams had, Steve and Allie were the second team to reach the next pit stop, following cowboys Jet and Cord.

The rest of the field, in order of finish: Carol and Brandy (lesbian couple), Joe and Heidi (married couple, he looks and acts a little too much like Jon Gosselin), "Big Brother" couple Jordan and Jeff, brothers Dan (straight) and Jordan (gay), models Brent and Caite (the former Miss Teen South Carolina), and police detectives Louie and Michael. Eliminated this week: "moms/attorneys" Monique and Shawne.