Quick Review: The Eagle

No, this is not about one of the hundreds of leather bars named "The Eagle" in countless cities (although, strangely, not in Philadelphia, as we have the Bike Stop instead). This is about a movie. And not just any movie, but the one in which Channing Tatum had hot water scald his penis during filming. Now, I've found it difficult to pick out movies to see lately. Nothing really jumped out. One day I went to the theater and left without seeing anything. Another day I nearly broke down and saw "Yogi Bear" because someone told me it wasn't that bad. (Fortunately, it finally disappeared from my local multiplexes this weekend.) Finally, though, I broke down and bought a ticket to "The Eagle." And it wasn't that bad. Tatum, burned equipment and all, plays a young Roman officer in 140 AD who seeks to solve the mystery of what happened to his father's legion and its standard, the titular bird, both of which went missing in northern Britain 20 years before. After recovering from an injury that resulted in his being honorably discharged, he travels north, accompanied by a British slave (Jamie Bell), and into dangerous territory. Will the two bond during their journey? Will there be fighting and killing (as much as can be shown in a PG-13 movie)? Will there be plot twists? Well, sure. Will the Roman eagle be recovered? That would be telling. Will we see Channing Tatum's scorched member? No. But hey, you can't say he didn't suffer for his art. My grade: C-plus.