In this spirit of...disinformation? Poor fact-checking? Outright lying?...can I just make up the results of this week's leg? Wouldn't it be better for me to say that Team Moron, Brent and Caite, were eliminated this week and went out whining and bickering?
Sigh. I suppose not. The unfortunate truth is that not only is Team Moron one of the final three duos battling for the million dollar grand prize, but
they actually finished first. Oh, the pain. The pain!
The theme for Caite during the whole episode was proving that she was smarter than people give her credit for, not just the bimbo from the infamous video of her appearance in the Miss Teen USA pageant, and if you go strictly by results, I suppose she's proven her point. The models took the lead early on, when teams had to find their first clue of the leg at a bridge that they were told was called the Garden Bridge. However, when they asked for directions none of the locals, not even taxi drivers, seemed to have ever heard of it. But Caite, of all people, found a local with a wireless device who could look up the info.
Meanwhile, two hours after departing the prior Pit Stop, my brothers Dan and Jordan were still wandering around trying to find someone who knew of the bridge. They finally found Louie and Michael and decided to take the musical advice of Elvis Costello and stick with the cops, who finally got the idea of calling a hotline providing translation services to cab drivers. The brothers then told their cab driver to follow Louie and Michael's cab, but the driver began falling behind and Dan began flipping out, saying he wanted to hit someone and yelling at Jordan to get out of the cab in the middle of the road. They didn't, and (after the commercial break) caught back up to the other cab. If Dan can't keep his cool it's not going to help them win. Come on, Jordan! Dan calmed you down last week, now do the same for him.
Always keeping their cool are cowboys Jet and Cord, second to arrive at the Roadblock, in which teams had to count the number of golden statues in a temple -- and getting the wrong total meant a 10-minute wait to try again. Team Moron arrived first, but it took Caite four tries to get the correct total of 523, while Jet got the total on the first try. Oh my gravy! The cowboys had the lead, but at the next clue box was a Detour. All four teams chose "Pork Chops" -- going into a shop and looking through rows of rubber stamps to find one with an image of a pig and their names. Despite Brent's intense need to pee, with Caite sniping at him to hold it, until finally they suspended their search and left the shop to find the bathroom, he found his stamp first (Caite: "How big is it?" Brent: "Huge. Just like everything else." Riiiiiiiiight.). Caite found hers quickly as well, allowing the morons to reach the Pit Stop ahead of the cowboys.
Meanwhile, Louie and Michael had a Speed Bump, since they were spared elimination last week. They had to each toss a coin through a hole in an incense burner. Michael thought it would be easy, but they showed him missing a few tries. It didn't take long, though, and soon he and Louie joined the brothers in counting golden statues and searching for rubber stamps. In both tasks Dan and Jordan were slightly faster, and in the end the only hope for the cops was another bad cab ride for the brothers. But it wasn't to be, and despite their machinations in getting Team Moron to U-turn Carol and Brandy, it was Louie and Michael going home early.
So we are down to the brothers, the cowboys and the morons. For me, two of these teams would be acceptable as winners. One would not. I don't think I need to elaborate further. This Sunday is the finale, with the finish line in San Francisco. Who do you want to win?
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