Memorial Day Thoughts

No one should dispute the importance of taking time on Memorial Day to think about our men and women in the armed forces, those whose lives have been lost in the past and those who currently risk their lives in serving our country. I certainly don't dispute that. However, cynic that I am, I can't help but wonder about some things...

• The fact that the policies of various adminstrations over the years have helped lead to the current quagmires in Iraq and Afghanistan that are -- in addition to the cost in lives, the long-term effects on injured veterans, veterans who suffer from psychological traumas, and the stresses on their families -- continuing to bankrupt our budget at a time when more money is needed for so many crucial problems.

• That while everyone talks about our troops fighting for us, fighting so we can enjoy the freedoms we have, etc., so many of these people refuse to accept the idea that we all should enjoy these freedoms (such as the freedom to marry the person you love, regardless of gender) equally.

• That too many self-serving hypocritical politicians insist that the idea of openly gay and lesbian personnel is somehow harmful to the military, even though other nations have gotten over it, even though many former and current soldiers have gotten over it, even though most of the people in this country have gotten over it. The much-hyped "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal that is working its way through Congress isn't really a repeal -- it's a passing of the buck. There's a clause saying that it can't take effect until after a study is completed and after the president, the defense secretary and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff all sign off on it. And what is there to prevent the next administration from trying to reverse the decision? Nothing, from what I've heard.

• And when I see things like Major League Baseball stopping in the middle of their games for a video tribute instead of having a pre-game ceremony, having "God Bless America" sung during the 7th-inning stretch, and having those players wear specially-designed caps (one example pictured) -- with those same caps now on sale for a lot more than most of the other caps they sell (while $1.00 per cap is going to charity, what about the rest of the markup?) -- I just feel like their patriotism is more a combination of jingoism and a marketing scheme.

But hey, I'm just cynical that way. Your mileage may vary.

A Little Perfection And Lots Of The Opposite

Here's why the remote control is your friend: I was, naturally, watching the ridiculous first game of the Stanley Cup finals. During commercial breaks I had been switching over to the Phillies game and knew that the Phils had a 1-0 lead. I didn't know any further details because I only had been switching briefly. So when the first period came to an end, I decided to switch to the MLB Network, because they were showing a game between Colorado and Los Angeles. Strangely, they had the Comcast Sportsnet feed of the Phils-Marlins game. I thought maybe the other game was in a rain delay until the MLB Network studio host began talking over the sound from the game, saying that Roy Halladay had a perfect game through 7 innings. Needless to say, I watched the Phils from that point on, with the Flyers relegated to the DVR.

Watching Halladay retire the final six batters he faced, to finish off the perfect game -- second in Phillies history, only the 20th in baseball history (but the second this season) -- was truly exciting. We Phillies fans are so fortunate right now. It's not just the team success, the three straight NL East titles, back-to-back NL pennants, the World Series win in 2008. It's the amazing moments happening throughout. Jayson Werth's stealing second, third and home in one inning, to name just one example. Now there's a perfect game to add to the list. Incredible.

Now for the bad news:

Softball A Bit Screwed Up; Flyers To The Rescue!

While I eagerly await Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals I thought I'd rant about a couple of issues. As you know, today was day one of the Liberty Bell Classic softball tournament. In our D division each team played three round-robin games. Then the double-elimination portion began -- once you lose two games you're eliminated. Our team, the Tabu Nighthawks, had to play three consecutive games, at 11 am, noon and 1 pm.

Our first game was against a New York team that was filled with C-division (i.e. much better) hitters. Needless to say, we were clobbered. The fact that these teams want to not just play in tournaments, but essentially crush the real D teams -- loading up on players who are highly ranked, and possibly cheat by giving them rankings lower than they deserve -- disgusts me to no end. There's no real accomplishment here, there's no huge cash prize. So they get a trophy. Big freakin' deal. They may win a tournament but they're still losers. Pathetic.

Anyway, we rebounded with two wins in the round-robin and, after a brief break, won our first game in the double-elimination. That means we have at least two more games to play. For winning we were rewarded with a game at 8:00 am tomorrow.

Is Stewart Bradley A Samantha?

If you've ever wanted to hear a professional football player proclaim, "Let's buy some shoes!" this is your lucky day!

Eagles linebacker (and 2009 Philadelphia Daily News Sexy Single) Stewart Bradley posted a link on his Twitter feed to something he posted on YouTube. It's an audio recording of his interview on a local radio station's morning show. On the show Bradley debuted an a capella rendition of the "Sex and the City" theme as performed by himself and teammates Brent Celek, Todd Herremans (a Sexy Single from 2008), Hank Baskett (co-star with his wife Kendra Wilkinson in a "reality" TV series) and new starting quarterback Kevin Kolb.

Bradley is the one who recites the "shoes" line, and possibly the one that follows (which is even more fun; you'll have to listen -- I won't spoil it). The pertinent portion begins at about the 0:50 mark:

Phils' w000000000000000000000000000es

Yes, there are 27 zeroes in the title of this post. That represents the zeroes put up on the scoreboard by the Phillies the last three nights in getting swept by the Mets. This is par for the course for the Phils -- when they open up a bit of a lead in the NL East, instead of pouring it on and blowing the division wide open, they inexplicably stumble and allow the rest of the teams to hang around.

On Friday night in the 6th inning Jimmy Rollins singled and, running to first base, reinjured his calf and had to leave the game. Pinch-runner Juan Castro eventually scored. Rollins went back on the disabled list and the Phils have scored just three runs since -- all in the 9th inning Sunday, in a game they trailed 8-0 at the time. They've been blanked in 46 of their last 47 innings. With that lineup, even without Rollins, that should be impossible.

At the end of play Friday the Phils had a 4 1/2-game lead over Atlanta. Their five-game losing streak has allowed the Braves to gain 3 games in the standings since then.

Liberty Bell Classic -- Softball!

I thought I'd post a link to the website for the Liberty Bell Classic softball tournament, being held here this weekend. My team, the Tabu Nighthawks, will be one of the teams in the D (recreational) division playing at the Dairy Fields in Fairmount Park. (The other divisions and women's tournament are being held elsewhere.)

Oddly enough, the teams in the D division are all from Philadelphia and New York City, with one from Connecticut. However, in the other brackets there are teams from Boston, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Providence, DC and Carolina (North or South? I have no idea.) There's a block party downtown Saturday night and a closing party on Sunday night at Sisters, the big lesbian hangout.

The weather is supposed to be beautiful. Check the schedule for the Saturday games, stop on by and say hello! My uniform number is 50 -- the same as this youngster on the Phillies, Jamie Moyer. (Well, he's younger than I am...dammit...)

American Idol Likes/Dislikes

The overstuffed American Idol Season 9 finale took place tonight. I used my magical DVR to record and watch it. Some things I liked, some I didn't...

Like: The fact that I used the DVR instead of watching it live. It made it easy to fast-forward through much of what I dislike.
Dislike: Nearly all of the performances featuring this year's mediocre finalists. Since I forwarded through them, I have no idea what they sounded like. I'm just against them in principle. And the guest performers with them: Alice Cooper with all the finalists (looking ridiculous in school uniforms to sing "School's Out"); Aaron and Siobhan with the two surviving Bee Gees; Lee and Chicago; Michael Lynche and Michael McDonald; the male finalists with Daryl Hall and John Oates; Crystal and Lee with Joe Cocker...I love H&O but where did they dig up these ancient performers -- and more importantly, why?

Like: The Casey pairing with Bret Michaels. Not because I really listened to it, but wasn't Bret Michaels near death not long ago? Pretty amazing.

Truth Be Told...

...I wouldn't mind having a little captain in me. Just sayin.'

But am I referring to Mike Richards, or am I referring to the rum? Or both?

My Week In Comics 5-19-10

I was pleased with myself that I left a couple of books on the shelves at the store. I want to try and stick to buying the ones I find most essential. So this week that meant I picked up three -- one of which, based on recent issues, was one I was considering no longer buying...

Superman/Batman 72: ...I ended up buying this one anyway and it might have been a mistake. I'm not sure exactly when this is supposed to have taken place in the ol' continuity timeline -- it's after the events of the "Identity Crisis" miniseries, yet it seems to depict Lex Luthor as CEO of Lexcorp, whereas by the time of "Identity Crisis" Luthor had become President and then was removed from both the presidency and Lexcorp and has been either on the run or imprisoned ever since. And either there's an error in the artwork or else Lois Lane may have been sexually assaulted after being kidnapped -- on the last page we see her tied up and she's got just a bra on under her jacket, where earlier she was wearing a blouse.

Superman: War of the Supermen 3 (of 4): This, of course, is extremely essential. The breakneck pace of this 100-minute war continues, both in space and in various battlegrounds on Earth, and one hero sacrifices everything to save lives. I love this not only because so much is happening but because the books are coming out weekly, so it seems like things are happening even more quickly.

Simpsons Comics 166: What was weird about this rather dull story, in which Homer enters the Tour De Springfield bike race to win the cash prize -- by cheating, with the help of Bart and Grampa -- is that not once are any other Simpson family members so much as glimpsed in the entire story. But there is an ad for an upcoming 5-issue miniseries starring none other than...Comic Book Guy!

Stanley Cup Finals: One Team's Drought Will End

The Hockey News has a chance to get it right after all. Prior to the start of the 2009-10 season, they predicted the Flyers would win the Stanley Cup. That seemed absurd for most of this season, and even when the Flyers squeaked into the playoffs at the last possible moment, it still seemed far-fetched. When they fell behind Boston 3-0 in their series, forced a 7th game and fell behind 3-0 in that game, it again seemed impossible, until the historic comeback was completed.

Now, after taking out the Montreal Canadiens in 5 games to win the Eastern Conference championship, the Flyers will take on the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup finals starting Saturday night in Chicago. The Blackhawks went 52-22-8 during the regular season, one point behind San Jose for best record in the West. They swept the Sharks in the Western finals after previously beating Nashville and Vancouver in 6 games each. For what it's worth, the Flyers beat the Blackhawks 3-2 on March 13 in the teams' only meeting this year.

The Blackhawks are obviously a dangerous team, and will undoubtedly be the favorites to win the Cup. Whether they feel that pressure remains to be seen. While the Flyers' last finals appearance was in 1997 and their last Cup was won in 1975, the Blackhawks haven't gotten this far since 1992 and haven't won the Cup since 1961 -- so long ago that even I wasn't born yet. So one city's hockey fans are going to finally celebrate.

Hopefully, whichever team wins, the Comcast Sportsnet affiliate will be more careful with its live coverage than CSN Philly was tonight. No, I take that back. I love when this stuff happens.

Quick Reviews: Iron Man 2, Shrek 4

It seems right to combine these two into one post because they're both sequels, and neither lives up to previous installments. And, oddly enough, the title characters in both movies have something in common.

In "Iron Man 2" Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), with his identity of Iron Man now known to the world, seems to be enjoying himself. He charms the crowds at the Stark Expo, and in a Senate committee room where a senator played by Garry Shandling(!) is demanding Stark turn over the Iron Man tech to the government for military usage. However, the substance that powers the "arc reactor" in his chest is slowly killing him, and as a result he's acting out -- getting drunk at his birthday party (while in the Iron Man armor), turning over control of his company to Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), replacing the driver of his car at a Grand Prix race in Monaco. It's at that race that Stark is attacked by Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke), who wants revenge for what Stark's father did to Vanko's father. And it gets more complicated from there. The fight scenes aren't as interesting as the rest of the movie, to be honest. The whole thing kind of drags a bit. My grade: C-plus.

In "Shrek Forever After," fourth in the series, again things seem to be fine and dandy. Shrek (voice of Mike Myers), his wife Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz), their kids, Donkey (Eddie Murphy), Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), everyone in Far Far Away is happy. Except Shrek really isn't happy. He misses the days when he was a "real" ogre, when the villagers were scared of him instead of asking for autographs, when he could take a mud bath in peace instead of attending to his family duties, and so on. After an argument with Fiona at the kids' birthday party Shrek storms off. He meets the sneaky Rumpelstiltskin, who offers a deal: Shrek can have a day where he's a "real" ogre again, in exchange for another day from his past. Shrek signs the deal and soon realizes he's been tricked, and has to learn the old lesson that you don't know what you have until it's gone. There are a few laughs, but more often than not the jokes fall flat. It's being touted as the "final chapter," and based on this one, it better be. My grade: C.

More on the "Mikey" Blog Hoax

There's an update at the Outsports Jock Talk Blog about the "Mikey" masquerade -- the blog by someone claiming to be a 17-year-old closeted high school hockey player but turned out to be a man in his 40s. (Here's the link to my previous post about this story.)

Jim Buzinski's article is about as thorough as it can be, considering that Outsports is essentially a two-man operation. There's no team of investigators, nor are there resources to devote to in-depth detective work. Be sure to read the article because my brief summary doesn't do it justice: "Mikey" is around 48 years old, lives in a suburb of Minneapolis, may be (or may have been) married and has profiles on two sex sites, including Manhunt. Even more worrisome, he seems to have created his "Mikey" persona in part based on actual high school players in the Minneapolis area and had pictures of at least one of these kids (and the kid's brother) on the blog server.

The whole thing finally unraveled because he fell for Jimmy, a 23-year-old Canadian, and the two developed an online relationship. It was Jimmy who caught "Mikey" in the lie.

You Thought The Flyers Were Bad? Check Out This Guy

Tonight's 5-1 loss by the Flyers at Montreal was ugly. (The Flyers still lead the series 2-1, so no need to panic.) The Canadiens came out desperate and the Flyers were perhaps overconfident -- I think they've shown that tendency in the last 2 years, even with the wild inconsistency of this season.

But I have found something worse. Much worse. This "artist" named Travis Garland, who is being hyped by Perez Hilton, was "performing" on last night's American Idol results show. Why is this person being promoted by Perez Hilton, and why was he allowed on the Idol stage? I have no idea. I'll venture some completely wild and unsubstantiated speculation that transfers of money and/or sexual favors were involved. Watch if you dare...

Catching Up With Philly Sports

For some reason I've not written so much on sports lately. Let's fix that now.

Since the playoffs always have priority, we'll start with the Flyers. Since they fell behind Boston 3-0 in Game 7 of their historic Eastern Conference semifinal series, they've outscored their opposition 13-0 -- the four-goal comeback in that game has been followed by 6-0 and 3-0 wins over Montreal in the Eastern finals. In particular in the second game, the Flyers haven't played their best. It is similar to how the Flyers outplayed the Bruins for a sizable portion of the first three games, all won by Boston. Of course, we'll hope this series doesn't reverse itself the way that one did. The Flyers could be getting Ian Laperriere and Jeff Carter back before the end of this series, which would be a huge help.

If the Flyers get two more wins and move on to the Stanley Cup finals, they'd play the winner of the Chicago-San Jose series. The Blackhawks won the first two games at San Jose, putting the Sharks in a huge hole.

Meanwhile, a slight digression:

13 Years Too Late, Arlen

So Arlen Specter lost in his bid for re-election to the U.S. Senate tonight. He switched from the Republican to the Democratic party in order to stay in office, and it didn't work. He lost the Democratic primary. It's a big political story nationwide, in part because he's been in the Senate for 30 years. It's an interesting story because I've always felt he should have switched parties long before he finally did.

On March 31, 1995, Specter announced that he was running for the Republican presidential nomination in the 1996 elections. According to Wikipedia:

He entered the race claiming his party needed a candidate who did not conform to the stereotypical religious conservative image. He was critical of Patrick J. Buchanan, Pat Robertson and Ralph E. Reed, Jr., saying all three were far too conservative. "Neither this nation nor this party can afford a Republican candidate so captive to the demands of the intolerant right that we end up re-electing a President of the incompetent left."

Before even one primary was held in 1996, Specter dropped out of the race. The Republican party, becoming increasingly controlled by the ultra-right, ultra-religious faction that now is more correctly referred to as the American Taliban, was never going to vote for Specter in the primaries, which tend to draw out the more hard-line voter than the general elections.

My Week In Comics 5-12-10

Another week, another big comic book storyline. Plus, minutes 26-50 of the 100-minute war, and a wrapup on some threads from the lead-in to said war...

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne 1 (of 6): We knew Bruce Wayne was coming back, of course. The suspense is in where he is (lost in time with no memory of who he is, but also conveniently in possession of his utility belt, which comes in handy) and how he returns (still to be determined). There's also a rocket, which the cave-dwellers in the distant past assume he arrived in, and it contains what seems to be a hand-held Bat-signal -- and Superman's cape. The beginning of this has me intrigued, but also wondering a bit if this is going to get ridiculous like "Final Crisis" (which was the genesis for this whole thing, when Darkseid's omega beams "killed" Batman).

Superman: War of the Supermen 2 (of 4): When the first issue featured the freakin' destruction of New Krypton, there's a lot to live up to, but this issue delivers. General Lane's Human Defense Corps has its first battle against Kryptonian forces, and it doesn't go well for Lane. Supergirl fights Superman (don't worry, it doesn't last long). Superboy, Steel and the rest of the Super-team is about to attack Mt. Rushmore (again, don't worry -- they actually have good reason). Lois Lane is whisked away by her sister Lucy (a.k.a. "Superwoman") to visit their father the general, who gets a timely assist from Lex Luthor.

Adventure Comics 11: Meanwhile, the plot threads from the various Superman books involving Mon-El and the Legion of Super-Heroes from the future get wrapped up here. The bottled cities from planets destroyed by Brainiac have to be restored, and Brainiac himself has to be dealt with. Sadly, Mon-El is dying...

Today's Fun!

From the Facebook page of Patrick Gaik, one of the stars of the fabulous Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast, comes this gem:

AMISH VIRUS: You've just received an Amish Virus. Since we don't have electricity or computers, you're on the honor system. Please delete your files. Thank thee.

And, just because...

Flyers Make History -- You Can't Make This Stuff Up

When it comes to sports, everybody -- athletes, coaches, fans, media -- likes to make predictions. Whether it's about a particular game or a playoff series or an entire season, people feel they know enough to project how things will go down. Often those predictions don't come true. Sometimes they do. And sometimes they come true in inexplicable fashion.

Case in point: the Philadelphia Flyers. Lots of people thought, prior to the season, that the Flyers were serious Stanley Cup contenders. The Hockey News outright predicted the Flyers would win the Cup. Sure enough, after tonight's 4-3 win over the Boston Bruins, winning their Eastern Conference semifinal series 4-3 after trailing 3-0, the Flyers still have a chance. But how they got to this point -- that's the inexplicable part.

The Flyers got off to a quick start and then fell into a morass of inconsistency that led to a coaching change. Injuries caused a goaltending carousel -- 7 different goalies dressed for a game, 5 of those 7 actually got into at least one game. They had to defeat the New York Rangers in the final game of the season just to get into the playoffs. After three periods and a five-minute overtime, they got that win in the shootout, where the Flyers have historically sucked.

Memo to Google: Those AREN'T Tastykakes!

The Tasty Baking Company, makers of delicious Tastykake products, needs to get right on this. Check out the "sponsored link" at the top of this Google Search page for "tastykake":

This is so absolutely wrong on so many levels. Whether this heinous misinformation is due to Google or the company named in that link, it must be corrected immediately. Now, to make us all feel better, let's enjoy vicariously -- since we can't actually eat the building -- this replica of the former Tastykake bakery, made out of Tastykakes (note: if you click on the link it will be very large). We can also delight in the fact that their newly-opened plant in South Philadelphia will feature public tours starting next year. Mmmmm...wonder if there will be free samples for the touring public?

Amazing Race: Cowboy A Homophobe?

And you thought my "Amazing Race" posts were done...surprise! Alas, this isn't exactly good news, especially if you're a fan of the cowboys, Jet and Cord. There's an interview with "Amazing Race" winners Dan and Jordan Pious at AfterElton.com and right at the beginning of this article we find this little nugget:

AfterElton.com chatted with the siblings two days after their win to discuss their close relationship, Dan's reaction to Jordan's coming out to him and much more. One topic we did not discuss, however, were reports that Jet called Jordan "a fag" and "hates gays." I attempted to ask the question but was told by a CBS publicist that the interview was only about the race.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...I had my suspicions, as you know if you read to the end of my post about the season finale. Perhaps that vibe I got was accurate? Perhaps I don't have gaydar but I have antigay-dar? Oh my gravy. Needless to say this is the first I've seen of this and certainly this isn't a confirmed report, but if it's true it's sad but not surprising. So, how do you feel about ogling a shirtless homophobe?

My Week In Comics 5-5-10

I guess I'm a bit of a sucker. On Free Comic Book Day, besides the free books I picked up, I made one purchase -- in part because the book came with a free souvenir ring. Well, another ring is now in my collection. I doubt these things will ever be worth anything, yet I get them anyway.

Superman: War of the Supermen 1 (of 4): New Krypton's forces haven't even reached earth, yet in this first 25-minute installment so much has already happened. There's a four-way slugfest featuring Superman vs. Zod, Ursa and Non, Supergirl confronts her mother about torture and war crimes, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen share some intel with Superboy and other heroes, but they're unaware that danger lurks -- and all of that takes a back seat to a cataclysmic event that sort of represents Kryptonian history repeating itself.

Red Robin 12: I had begun reading this book when the series started, dropped it for a while, and picked it back up recently when Tim Drake returned to Gotham City. In concluding this story involving Ra's al Ghul's revenge on Tim by wiping out Batman's legacy, we find the former Robin (and future Robin? After all, we already know Bruce Wayne is returning) redeemed. Tim's acting more like his old self instead of the dark, angry character we saw in previous issues. I don't know if I'll keep buying this, but there's a possibility.

Brightest Day 1: You might remember that I tried the "zero issue" a few weeks ago and didn't figure to keep up with this bi-weekly series, because I'm not overly interested in the characters involved. So you shouldn't be surprised to learn that this was the one that came with the free ring. I'm still not sure about this, although I'm reconsidering. If they juggle the story properly this could be as interesting as the "52" weekly series turned out to be.

Amazing Race: Trickery, Then Victory, Then Bitchery

Because it's the finale and because I'm writing about this tonight, rather than waiting a few days, I'm going to begin with the ever-so-popular SPOILER ALERT!!!

You've been warned.

A Mashup Of Randomness

It's a lovely Saturday afternoon here, but it's windy and will be quite chilly tomorrow -- only in the upper 50s to around 60, after days and days in the upper 70s and 80s. My allergies are acting up a little more today but so far it's not intolerable. Here are a few unrelated observations...

• This may be proof that Twitter has jumped the shark: a new, badly named feature -- "Who's That Tweeter?" -- on Fox's baseball telecast. They display someone's tweet and then you're supposed to go to their website and choose which of four players made that tweet. There may be a contest involved. I don't care. I'm waiting for the day someone mispronounces "tweet" and has to apologize for an obscenity.

• Speaking of Twitter, here in Philadelphia "windy" is a trending topic right now.

• Three songs have been stuck in my head today at various times (one of which I tweeted about earlier) -- RuPaul's "Jealous Of My Boogie" (because of Freddy and Andrew from my softball team discussing it when we were at the batting cages earlier), Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" (because when I was reading the new Entertainment Weekly their "Bullseye" page mentioned the Simpsons' homage to it at the start of last week's show) and Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" (again because of EW, which provided the shocking news that she's collaborated on a song called "Murder My Heart" with
  
  

Quick Review: A Nightmare On Elm Street

Hollywood brings us yet another remake -- this time it's "A Nightmare on Elm Street." There are differences in some plot details between the 25-year-old original and this one, but the basic premise is the same: Freddy Krueger is killing teenagers from beyond the grave through their dreams. Jackie Earle Haley is Freddy now, instead of Robert Englund. In most of the movie Haley's in full Freddy makeup, and when he is, he talks just like he did as the masked vigilante Rorschach in "Watchmen." Like in the original, Freddy is a mostly serious killer, instead of the guy spouting one-liners from the later sequels. There were a couple of humorous lines, though. Obviously this was a financial decision to reboot the franchise; creatively, there's no real reason for this new version to exist. I managed to enjoy it enough, however. My grade: B-minus.

Philly Sports Joke of the Day

No, it has nothing to do with the 76ers or the Flyers, and if you're not familiar with the local sports scene you won't understand the punchline. I heard it on Daily News Live on Comcast Sportsnet earlier.

By now you know all about the Great Taser Incident of 2010. A 17-year-old doofus ran onto the field during the Phillies' game on Monday night. He ran around evading security until a Philadelphia police officer tased him. The widespread reaction -- while some said it's about time and it would serve as a warning to any other dimwits, a lot of people think the cop went too far -- caused the Phillies to make an adjustment. From now on, only Phillies security employees will chase after someone who runs on the field. They'll then hand the miscreant over to the police.

And now for the joke!

There's good news and bad news. The good news is that the Eagles are going to hold a tackling clinic for the Phillies' security personnel. The bad news is that it will be conducted by Asante Samuel.

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 5-5-10

¡Feliz Cinco de mayo! Descargo de responsabilidad: Las siguientes canciones no tienen absolutamente nada que ver con cinco de mayo.

(That was Google's translation to Spanish for: Happy May 5! Disclaimer: the following songs have absolutely nothing to do with May 5.)

I Want It All - Eurythmics
All The Way To Reno (You're Gonna Be A Star) - R.E.M.
Sail On - The Commodores
The Mayor Of Simpleton - XTC
Glove Slap (from "The Simpsons") - The B-52s
Watching The Wheels - John Lennon
Music Inferno (live) - Madonna
Do You Miss Me (radio mix) - Jocelyn Enriquez
200 Balloons - Prince
Show Some Respect - Tina Turner
Friday's Child - Will Young
Hymn To Her - The Pretenders
I'd Die Without You - P.M. Dawn

Amazing Race: From Short To Tall, From Dumb To...

Last week on "The Amazing Race" we were introduced to He Pingping, at the time the world's shortest man. Since the episode was filmed, sadly, he passed away. This week, as the teams arrived at the Pit Stop in Shanghai (where the entire leg of this race was run), they were greeted by Bao Xishun, the world's tallest man. Except he's not, according to Wikipedia: "On September 17, 2009, Turk Sultan Kösen overtook Bao Xishun as the tallest living man in the world, when he was measured by Guinness World Records, standing 2.47 metres (8 ft 1 in) tall."

In this spirit of...disinformation? Poor fact-checking? Outright lying?...can I just make up the results of this week's leg? Wouldn't it be better for me to say that Team Moron, Brent and Caite, were eliminated this week and went out whining and bickering?

Sigh. I suppose not. The unfortunate truth is that not only is Team Moron one of the final three duos battling for the million dollar grand prize, but

My Week In Comics: Free Comic Book Day!

You can't go wrong with something that's free, right? Well, sometimes you get what you pay for. So it was with Free Comic Book Day. Each year on the first Saturday in May, comic book stores give away free books, especially provided by the publishers. The FCBD website lists 23 different free comics that were being given out this year.

This is the first time I actually went to a store on the day itself. I wasn't sure I would make it, but there was one book I really needed to get and I didn't want to risk waiting and hoping the supply wouldn't run out. Fortunately, softball practice ended early enough that I could make it to the store and get home in time for the last two periods of the Flyers playoff game. The store had a three-book limit on the freebies, but I ended up buying one of the non-free books anyway.

War of the Supermen 0: You can probably guess that this was the one I absolutely had to have. It's just a prologue to the main event, which will be occurring over the next 4 weeks (chronicling a war that lasts 100 minutes -- 25 minutes per issue), so not much actually happens. There are two stories here. First, Superman confronts General Zod, who's just declared war on Earth. Then, there's a short summary of what got us to this point, via a story being written by Lois Lane, who gets a surprise visitor on a dark and stormy night in the conveniently empty Daily Planet offices.

Bongo Comics Free-For-All 2010: Probably the best bargain of my three freebies, from the publisher of Simpsons Comics (and related titles) and Futurama Comics, although nothing Futurama is in this free book. There are four stories of various length, including a superhero mashup called "The League of Extraordinary Barts" starring Bartman, Stretch Dude and the Cupcake Kid. (And, by the way, I still don't understand why Bongo Comics doesn't have a website.)

Green Hornet 1 FCBD Edition: A publisher called Dynamite Entertainment provides the first few pages from 5 different stories starring the Green Hornet and Kato, set at various times (from the inside cover: "from the Golden Age to the present day to the near future") with some, umm, alterations -- apparently, in one story, written by Kevin Smith, Kato is now a woman. I have no intentions of buying any of these books, though. The few pages of each story failed to pique my interest. Of course, this also serves as hype for the upcoming Green Hornet movie starring Seth Rogen, which is unrelated to Kevin Smith in any way -- he had a story for a movie but the project fell apart and he's now adapting that story for his comic book.

As I mentioned, I did buy one book (which came out a few weeks ago) because I felt a bit weird about picking up nothing but freebies, and because anyone buying a copy of The Flash 1 -- the new ongoing series starring the Barry Allen Flash brought back to life in "Final Crisis" and kept alive through "Blackest Night" and now into the "Brightest Day" -- got a free Flash Ring. The story was rather interesting, but I don't know that I'll keep buying. I really have to watch my spending, and besides, they're not going to give out rings with it every month.

My Week In Comics 4-28-10

I actually had two trips to the store this week. Besides the usual Wednesday run, today was Free Comic Book Day. All the publishers put out a special issue to be given out free of charge. So there will be a bonus post forthcoming. Meanwhile, here's what I had to shell out money for:

Superman 699, Action Comics 889, Superman: Last Stand of New Krypton 3 (of 3): All three Super-books out at once, in order to wrap up and set up: wrap up the Brainiac attack on New Krypton, with the Legion of Super-Heroes (and one important addition) returning to the future, and set up the event I've been giggling like a schoolgirl over for months now: War of the Supermen! Tremendous stuff in two of these three. It even picked up on a plot thread introduced in the "World's Finest" miniseries earlier this year. Oh, and in Action Comics the whole meandering, rather dull arc featuring Nightwing and Flamebird and a rampaging Rao in the Middle East ends. (Not giggling like a schoolgirl over that, just glad it's over.)

Teen Titans 82: Another story arc I'm glad is over (well, mostly over -- at least the part I was initially interested in, Static returning to his hometown), and another one I bought because I have this thing for completing sets.


Victorian Undead 6 (of 6): Speaking of completed sets, this one is over as well. The "Sherlock Holmes vs. zombies" idea was fun, and seeing as how this stayed much closer to conventional Holmes than did the Robert Downey Jr. movie, quite enjoyable.

Gotham City Sirens 11: And speaking of enjoyable, this was an improvement over recent, not so fun issues. Poison Ivy starts work -- at a legitimate job, although she didn't get hired under entirely legit circumstances -- and finds that taking advice on being a CEO from Lex Luthor has consequences. And Catwoman and Harley Quinn go out to look for missing dogs, though it turns out they didn't have to look far.

Quick Review: The Back-up Plan

Romantic comedy. Lather, rinse, repeat -- with a slight twist that only makes the standardness of the rest of it a little more annoying. Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) wants a baby but is tired of waiting for the perfect man. Taking control of her life, she decides on artificial insemination via sperm bank. Right after she leaves that procedure comes the standard meet-cute with Stan (Alex O'Loughlin), they start falling for each other, and then she finds it worked, and she's pregnant. Zoe actually seems like a sensible person until she's pregnant, and then she becomes more of the typical rom-com woman. Stan isn't a whole lot better dealing with the news, but Alex O'Loughlin is extremely nice to look at. The movie isn't a total loss, but it could have been more interesting if it didn't have to follow the formula. My grade: C-plus.

Quick Review: Death At A Funeral

It will help your enjoyment of "Death at a Funeral" if you didn't see the original version, which came from Britain in 2007. Most likely you didn't, because according to Wikipedia it made only $8.5 million in its US release. However, I did, and this remake follows the plot almost exactly. The two sons of the deceased (Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence) are bickering on the day of the funeral, other family members are wacky, one woman's boyfriend (James Marsden) is given what is thought to be a Valium but is actually a hallucinogenic, more wacky hijinks ensue. (Note: nudity alert!) Oh, and there's a very short man who has pictures of himself with the deceased in compromising positions and wants to be paid off. He is played by Peter Dinklage, repeating his role in the original. Again, I believe you'll like it more than I did only because I saw it three years ago, and other than the American cast and setting (as well as some different jokes and a really crude moment involving diarrhea), nothing really changed. My grade: B.

Quick Review: Kick-Ass

The trailers left me, and a lot of others, interested in "Kick-Ass," the story of an average teenager who decides to don a costume and fight crime, and meets others doing the same. I think the movie lived up to its hype, but it didn't break out to become a huge hit at the box office. I'd like to think it was the R rating (this is a very violent movie filled with foul language) that kept honest people under 17 -- "honest" as in unwilling or unable to buy a ticket for a different movie and sneak into "Kick-Ass" -- from seeing it, but I get the feeling it also didn't catch on with average moviegoers who aren't into superhero flicks unless they feature the well-known DC or Marvel Comics characters.

"Kick-Ass" is similar, yet different. Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), the average kid who wonders why no one in real life becomes a superhero like they do in comics, then does so, has no powers. No one does, of course. When he tries to stop a crime the first time, he takes a brutal beating, but the surgeries to repair him at least left him better able to tolerate pain. His next attempt to fight crime is more successful, is recorded and put on YouTube, and a sensation is born. Then Kick-Ass meets others in costume: Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz, who is amazing), who has mad fighting skills and a foul mouth while in costume, but otherwise is a sweet little girl who loves her father (Nicolas Cage, who, when he gets into costume as Big Daddy, becomes Adam West), and Red Mist ("McLovin" himself, Christopher Mintz-Plasse). As the plot thickens, Kick-Ass finds himself getting in over his head.

One subplot to discuss: a girl Dave has a crush on wants nothing to do with him, until the rumor somehow spreads after his hospitalization that he's gay. So he decides to play along so he can spend time with her. A movie critic for Entertainment Weekly found herself offended by this...

Even his best friends tease him mercilessly. (In the screenwriter’s hypocritical nod to propriety, Dave’s classmates call him a “lame duck,” rather than anything more offensive.) Indeed, the pretty girl Dave pines for, a popular cutie who otherwise wouldn’t give him the time of day, adopts him as a close friend because he’s harmlessly, tee-hee, gay! The two even share sleepover dates — which is funny because we know Dave is a horny heterosexual!

Well. What if the rumor spread that Dave was Muslim? Or Puerto Rican. Or left-handed. Or deaf. And he had to protest that he wasn’t. Is that funny, too?

It's an interesting read. Although it didn't bother me when I saw the movie, upon reflection I have to agree, and knock the grade down a bit as a result. My grade: B-plus.