The teams flew from France to the Seychelles, islands in the Indian Ocean. Since it was such a long trip, all teams were on the same flight. When this happens, whatever teams are in front immediately and arbitrarily lose their advantage. Thus, thanks to their reserving seats at the front of the plane, after the flight landed, we were treated to the sight of the incorrigible morons, Brent and Caite, in first place as they got to the clue box. How I hate them. (I'm not even going to bother referring to them as models. To me, they're morons, plain and simple.) They were thrilled, though, and Caite reiterated her main feeling from last week: "I just wanna get the mean lesbians out."
The "mean lesbians" in question, Carol and Brandy, may not be so popular. When the moron team and detectives Louie and Michael arrived at the pit stop, Phil Keoghan asked if they wanted to see a particular team eliminated. Both teams replied that they wanted the lesbians out, and Brent helpfully added, "From what I heard, it's pretty anonymous amongst the teams." Oy.
The attitude of teams that screw up is fascinating. There was a Detour in which teams had to either: load a cart with coconuts -- without leaving any behind -- and drive the cart (pulled by an ox) to a fruit vendor stand; or lure a tortoise along a race path and across a marker.
Three of the five teams that chose "Ox Trot" somehow managed to leave a coconut behind when they left for the fruit vendor stand: the morons, the lesbians and the cowboys. (More after the jump, including the ever-popular shirtless pic.)
All three teams were in a state of disbelief when they were told they hadn't brought enough coconuts. But while Carol and Brandy bickered (again) about who was at fault, and the morons whined about how it wasn't fair -- with Brent repeating "I quit" three or four times, getting my hopes up only to let me down -- and snapping at each other...
CAITE: Dummy.
BRENT: You’re a dummy.
CAITE: You're a dummy.
BRENT: You’re a friggin' idiot.
CAITE: You’re a friggin' idiot.
...Jet and/or Cord (I couldn't really tell their voices apart) said, "This is BS" and my favorite new exclamation, "Oh, my gravy!" and then just went back for the missing coconut.
Only our hero, ex-Phillies coach Steve Smith, along with daughter Allie, completed the "Turtle Toddle." Allie used a banana as bait, and it worked. Steve's comment: "That's what her mom does to me all the time. Maybe with a beer or something." Again, we seem to have established that Steve likes his beer! (Carol and Brandy tried this as well, but when their tortoise wouldn't cooperate, they gave up and went to the coconuts.)
Steve and Allie continue to excel, blazing through the next Roadblock -- take a boat ride to another island, stopping to dive into the water for a bottle which contained their next clue, pieces of a map; assemble the map and it showed the way to the Pit Stop -- and have now taken the lead. Steve compared the Race to his regular job: "I'm a professional baseball coach and this race is as close as you can get to being in a World Series." I don't know how religious he is, but his daughter surely is. Earlier she said a little prayer of thanks for the experience, and getting to spend this time with her dad. After being told at the Pit Stop by Phil that they were in first place, Allie exclaimed that "God has a plan."
I don't know if this is part of God's plan, though: Steve and Allie got on the boat and left before realizing they left their backpacks behind. The only belongings they had were their passports and money. They decided to continue on rather than lose time returning for the backpacks. Assuming they can't replace them somehow, they have only the clothes on their backs from here on. Might be a problem when they head into a less beautiful climate.
Brothers Dan and Jordan zipped into second place, thanks in part to an ox that seemed to move more quickly than the others. Despite all of their stupidity, Team Moron finished third, followed by Louie and Michael. Jet and Cord seemed to finish fifth, but they screwed up: after getting the bottle with the map out of the water, they got off the boat without the bottle. Not understanding that their clue was inside, they somehow managed to find the Pit Stop anyway, only to be told they had to go back and get the bottle. Thus, Carol and Brandy managed to finish before the cowboys returned.
Luckily, Phil told Jet and Cord they were still in the race, as this was a non-elimination leg. Are these decided in advance or do they just decide they want a team around for another week? I'm suspicious. Jet and Cord might be the most entertaining duo, and they get to stay? Had the morons or the annoying lesbians been last, would they still be around?
Oh, and thanks to the swimming portion of the program, we got some shirtless men. Even 57-year-old Steve Smith. Here's a shot of the cowboys. Oh, my gravy!
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