Amazing Race: Oh, My Gravy!

A funny thing happened on the way to the Seychelles...well, actually it was mostly after they arrived. Teams kept leaving something where they shouldn't. Coconuts, bottles, backpacks...and I get mad if I leave an umbrella on the bus...

The teams flew from France to the Seychelles, islands in the Indian Ocean. Since it was such a long trip, all teams were on the same flight. When this happens, whatever teams are in front immediately and arbitrarily lose their advantage. Thus, thanks to their reserving seats at the front of the plane, after the flight landed, we were treated to the sight of the incorrigible morons, Brent and Caite, in first place as they got to the clue box. How I hate them. (I'm not even going to bother referring to them as models. To me, they're morons, plain and simple.) They were thrilled, though, and Caite reiterated her main feeling from last week: "I just wanna get the mean lesbians out."

The "mean lesbians" in question, Carol and Brandy, may not be so popular. When the moron team and detectives Louie and Michael arrived at the pit stop, Phil Keoghan asked if they wanted to see a particular team eliminated. Both teams replied that they wanted the lesbians out, and Brent helpfully added, "From what I heard, it's pretty anonymous amongst the teams." Oy.

The attitude of teams that screw up is fascinating. There was a Detour in which teams had to either: load a cart with coconuts -- without leaving any behind -- and drive the cart (pulled by an ox) to a fruit vendor stand; or lure a tortoise along a race path and across a marker.

Three of the five teams that chose "Ox Trot" somehow managed to leave a coconut behind when they left for the fruit vendor stand: the morons, the lesbians and the cowboys. (More after the jump, including the ever-popular shirtless pic.)

Quick Review: The Bounty Hunter

Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston star in "The Bounty Hunter." She's Nicole, a newspaper reporter who skips a court appearance (for assaulting a police officer -- and when the movie gets around to explaining exactly how this "assault" occurred, eyes will roll) to follow up a lead on a big story, so there's a warrant out on her. He's Milo, an ex-cop turned bounty hunter who needs a quick influx of funds. They were married and divorced, so he tracks her down with glee, but others are after her, and still more are after him. The way the whole thing plays out is mostly predictable. Butler has the same type of role here as he did in "The Ugly Truth" -- obnoxious guy who has to turn into (or back into, in this case) Prince Charming. And in both cases, there's more obnoxious than charming, and it's not even a particularly witty obnoxiousness here. The one person who is charmed by Milo, and actually wants him and Nicole together again? Her mother, played by Christine Baranski. Maybe Baranski and Butler could costar in a romantic comedy. Older woman, younger man. Hmmmmm. My grade: C-minus.

Burger Chat: Five Guys vs. 500 Degrees

If you follow me on Twitter (and if you don't, why not?) you know that on Tuesday I waited in a line for around 90 minutes trying to get a free hamburger. A new place called 500° (they're also on Twitter) opened up in Center City, and they had special promotions running all day. Opening at 11 am, the first 100 people were getting a free burger.

I was number 103, because my alarm went off at 8:30 but I didn't actually get out of bed until 9:30. Since the two people ahead of me left when they found out they weren't getting a free burger, I actually was number 101. So close and yet so far. I couldn't get an entirely free burger, but there was an additional special: buy one, get one free.

A little background: Five Guys Burgers and Fries opened up a Center City location a few years back, and I found myself eating there regularly on Wednesdays when I made my comic book run. They have very good burgers and fantastic fries. However, I had a customer service problem back in July 2008 that was not resolved to my satisfaction, so I haven't been back since. If I happen to be somewhere where another Five Guys is located (such as last year when I found one at Harborplace, at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore -- I was sooooooooo happy that day) I'll eat there, but the Center City Five Guys is off-limits to me. I've missed it.

Then I read this item at philly.com:

Rob and Maggie Wasserman, whose burgers at Rouge on Rittenhouse Square get national attention, are less than two weeks from opening a burger-only shop called 500º at 1504 Sansom St., about four blocks away.

Naturally, much R&D went into the 500º burger. Rob Wasserman explains that they don't want to replicate the Rouge burger, a 12-ouncer topped with Gruyère and caramelized onions and served on a challah roll.

At 500º, chef Matt Zagorski is going with 5½ ounces of beef, also on a challah roll...In sum, the Wassermans are aiming to serve a delicious sub-$6 burger, the culinary equivalent of the 4-minute mile.

Needless to say, I was intrigued. Could this be my replacement for Five Guys?

A "WTF!?!" Moment

Reading PopWatch, the Entertainment Weekly pop culture blog, I found this: a full-length music video of...a television commercial. I've seen the commercial, but had no idea an extended version existed until now.



Oh, Megan Mullally, did you need the money that desperately? Oh, Vicki Sue Robinson, are you rolling over in your grave over what they've done to your song?

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 3-26-10

It seems this is Diana Ross's birthday. Alas, none of her songs came up in my shuffle today...poor Miss Ross! Perhaps I'll listen to some of her music later. Meanwhile...

Put Me Down - The Cranberries
A Stroke of Luck - Garbage
Sing (Harry Choo Choo Romero Club Mix) - Annie Lennox
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (Medley) - The Simpsons
When Tomorrow Comes (Extended Version) - Eurythmics
I Will Buy You A New Life - Everclear
Would? - Alice In Chains
If I Could - Seal
S.O.S. - Mamma Mia! Original London Cast
She Sells - Banderas
The Look Of Love - Madonna
The Love In Me - Lisa Stansfield
Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself - Morrissey

Can The Gays Rally The Flyers?

This ridiculous Flyers season is rapidly drawing to a close -- more rapidly than usual, with the compressed post-Olympic schedule. The inconsistency that has dogged them all season, except for perhaps those four wins right before the Olympics, continues. Since the season resumed they're now 5-6-1, coming up with the occasional inspired effort (3-2 win over Chicago on a Chris Pronger goal in the final 3 seconds) followed by the inevitable lazy followup (3-1 loss at the NY Rangers the next day). And now it's taken a turn for the worse.

After losing starting goalie Ray Emery for so many games, and eventually the season, due to injury, they were basically saved by the surprisingly fine play of Michael Leighton. Then Leighton had to go and get the dreaded high ankle sprain on March 16th at Nashville, sidelining him for 8 to 10 weeks -- meaning he can only return if the Flyers make a long playoff run. The Flyers are down to Brian Boucher and heaven knows who from the minors to back him up.

Boucher ended up losing the Nashville game in the shootout, but won the next night at Dallas. The Flyers haven't won since, losing a home-and-home set to Atlanta over the weekend and at Ottawa Tuesday night. (More on that in a moment.) If that isn't bad enough, the team hasn't scored more than 3 goals in a game in their last 11 games, and just lost leading scorer Jeff Carter to a broken foot bone. He's expected to be out 3 to 4 weeks, and we're in the final 3 weeks of the regular season...

My Week In Comics 3-17-10

Today I ended up buying 7 books, because I picked up two that were put out on March 3rd but held off on buying then. So when I write about today's purchases I'll have extra work to do. Actually, I'll have to read them first. I've only gotten to 2 of the 7 so far today because I went to see a movie this afternoon. Not my best idea, as you'll read about sometime in the next few days. Meanwhile, here's what I picked up last week:

Supergirl 51: Here's why I should read more carefully: when I first read this I was confused. The cover shows Supergirl attacking Superboy -- don't you love it when writers contrive to have heroes fighting each other? Sometimes, of course, what's depicted on the cover is either misleading or has absolutely nothing to do with what's inside. But I digress. Inside, we see Supergirl and Mon-El on New Krypton fighting off Brainiac's attack drones, until Mon-El learns that Superboy and the team of Legionnaires from the future are in trouble. Supergirl rushes off to help them...and is next seen attacking Superboy and calling him a "terrorist," then she's outside again fighting Brainiac's machines, then she hears her mother Alura in need of help and rushes off, only to find Superboy keeping Alura at bay forcibly...the whole sequence and what follows made little sense, except for the fact that the first time I thought I saw Supergirl go after Superboy, it was actually Alura. Once I figured that out, it made perfect sense!

Superman 80-Page Giant 1: A special issue, having absolutely nothing to do with the whole New Krypton deal. Just a series of stories with different writers and artists, completely unconnected except for Superman. Kind of refreshing, in a way, especially since over the last year (in our time, not in comic book time) Superman's been away from Metropolis and out of his regular outfit. Some of the stories are bordering on silly, though.

Simpsons Comics 164: Homer has car troubles. D'oh! And he's eaten by a giant Al Gore. Well, that part was in a dream, but still...

Amazing Race: Champagne Misses And Duct Tape Dreams

This week "The Amazing Race" teams continued their adventures in France. The teams had to drive themselves to Reims, find a statue of Joan of Arc and get their clue from a musician playing a "singing" saw. I didn't know France was so impoverished that they couldn't afford real instruments. The clue was a cork from a champagne bottle with "Champagne LeClerc-Briant" written on it. The cowboys, Jet and Cord, drove off in search of a town named Champagne because they saw that name on the map and the cork said "champagne." Ummmmmm....okayyyyyyyy. The rest of the teams asked around and went to Epernay, where the winery was located.

But that wasn't the only driving-related misdirection. After completing a Roadblock task at the winery, the next clue give the teams was a label that read "Tattingers - LaMarquetterie." This is a castle in Pierry, where the teams had to go to complete a Detour. Unfortunately, Tattingers also has headquarters in Reims. Again asking for help from various locals, only two teams -- detectives Louie and Michael and annoying lesbian couple Carol and Brandy -- were sent to the proper location. They completed their Detour and headed to the Pit Stop, with L&M finishing first for the third week in a row and the lesbians surging into 2nd place from 5th last week.

Four teams -- including Steve Smith and his daughter Allie (he got bad advice, just like those Phillies baserunners he sent home to be tagged out...karma?) , and the cowboys (driving to the wrong town for the second time) -- were given directions to Reims, only to have Tattingers employees keep having to send these weird Americans away. And then there's the case of Brent and Caite. They weren't able to find Tattingers, and ended up driving around until spotting Carol and Brandy driving. They decided to follow, and ended up following C&B...to the Pit Stop! The morons were sent back to their car, with Caite, Miss Teen South Carolina bimbo, whining: "Damn, I want to get the stupid lesbians out. I hate them." Bitch, whose fault is it that you two are the dumbest people in the Race? They pretty much spent the entire leg sniping back and forth at each other.

Meanwhile, as Steve and Allie arrived at Tattingers in Reims, they ran into another problem. They ran over something and wrecked the front right bumper of their car. When they left for the castle in Pierry, the plastic bumper was dragging along the tire and they had to stop. Steve tried to break it off, to no avail. Then he remembered the duct tape that his wife packed in his stuff, and used the duct tape to repair the bumper enough to resume their trip. Oh, the wonders of duct tape! They still managed a third-place finish.

The two Detour tasks were: find a specially-marked bunch of grapes in a vineyard, or stack champagne glasses into a tower (15 levels high) and pour a giant bottle of champange into the top glass (so it could flow down into the glasses below) without any breakage. Only the brothers Dan and Jordan completed this. It was time-consuming, what with their somehow having 3 single glasses remaining with 3 levels still to complete. They had to stack them on top of each other, and still pour the champagne successfully. Combined with their being sent to Tattingers in Reims in error, this caused D&J to drop from 4th to 5th, one spot behind Jet and Cord. The moron couple, arriving from the Pit Stop, tried to find the grapes, got frustrated, tried to build the tower, broke some glasses, and went back to the vineyard, bickering all the way. Yet they managed to find their grapes and finish 6th, ahead of Big Brother couple Jordan and Jeff, who were eliminated.

I have to admit that Jordan and Jeff weren't really annoying to me at all this week. I actually enjoyed them, and wish they had managed to beat out Brent and Caite, the moron couple.

Quick Review: Repo Men

Hard to believe they've been sitting on this movie since it was filmed way back in 2007. "Repo Men" stars Jude Law and Forest Whitaker as Remy and Jake. They're, well, repo men. They repossess their company's property from people who fail to keep up with the payments. However, what they're repossessing is artificial organs. This is a film set in the near future, where the science of artificial hearts, livers, etc. has been perfected. No more messy transplants of human body parts. However, it is expensive. After all, a heartless (no pun intended) corporation has to make its profit. In charge in some capacity is Frank (Liev Schreiber). He sends guys like Remy and Jake out to catch the deadbeats, slice 'em open and take out the organ to return to the company. The poor...repossess-ees? Repossessed? What's the word I'm looking for? Anyway, they're left on the floor, gutted open. Now that's health care reform! So something unfortunate happens that turns Remy into a customer. Then he falls behind in his payments. Uh-oh... It's more of a black comedy at first, and shows a little potential, but then it turns into a standard action movie with chase scenes and wild fights and is much less interesting. And I'm mad at myself for not seeing the twist at the very end coming. My grade: C.

Quick Review: Our Family Wedding

And then Jon Runyan...no, no, just kidding. Two posts on his entry into the world of politics and his evil, hate-filled political party are enough for now. Let's discuss something that's not quite as exciting: "Our Family Wedding." Okay, not nearly as exciting. It's not unpleasant, it got a laugh or two out of me, but it's paint-by-numbers and maybe a little dated. A Latino woman (America Ferrara) and her African-American fiancee (Lance Gross) travel home to Los Angeles to inform their families of their engagement. They're living together and she dropped out of law school, but they've kept that information from her parents. His father (Forest Whitaker) and her father (Carlos Mencia) actually meet for the first time under unpleasant circumstances, without knowing that their children will soon be introducing them to each other later, so when the families first meet at a restaurant, arguments ensue. There's all kinds of angst, part of it because of the mixing of the cultures, but there's nothing that hasn't been done before or done better. My grade: C.

Jon Runyan, THIS is your party

Since you're new to politics, Jon Runyan, here's some information you should be aware of.

THIS is YOUR party. THESE are the people YOUR party leaders such as Sarah Palin support and encourage.

Demonstrators outside the U.S. Capitol , angry over the proposed health care bill, shouted "nigger" Saturday at U.S. Rep. John Lewis , a Georgia congressman and civil rights icon who was nearly beaten to death during an Alabama march in the 1960s.

The protesters also shouted obscenities at other members of the Congressional Black Caucus , lawmakers said.

Nice. Racial slurs. But wait, there's more!

Protestors also used a slur as they confronted Rep. Barney Frank , D- Mass. , an openly gay member of Congress . A writer for Huffington Post said the crowd called Frank a "faggot."

Frank told the Boston Globe that the incident happened as he was walking from the Longworth office building to the Rayburn office building, both a short distance from the Capitol. Frank said the crowd consisted of a couple of hundred of people and that they referred to him as 'homo.'

I can't emphasize it enough: THIS is the party you've chosen to align yourself with.

Are you really sure THIS is the new team you want to join? Do you really want to be part of THIS?

Jon Runyan For Congress? Let's Hope Not

Former Eagles offensive lineman Jon Runyan, who retired from the NFL after finishing this year with San Diego, officially kicked off his campaign for Congress tonight. He's running in New Jersey's Third District and has the support of the Republican establishment in the primary, which means he'll likely move on to the general election against the incumbent, Democratic Rep. John Adler. The district traditionally leans Republican but Adler won the seat in 2008.

Runyan should fit right in with the GOP, seeing as how he was widely considered one of the NFL's dirtiest players.

Earlier, he did some interviews and talked about his views.

On social issues, he said he opposes same-sex marriage but generally favors abortion rights.

Marriage, he said "is between a man and a woman." Abortion is a decision between a woman and her doctor - with restrictions, he said.

Needless to say, if I lived in that district Runyan would never get my vote. However, seeing as how he was one of the more popular Eagles in recent years, thanks in part to a lot of favorable exposure on TV and radio shows, it's very possible that the combination of the ultra-right wing, the star-struck, and the brain-dead birther/teabagger elements will propel him into the victory column.

Great Song From Tonight's Brilliant "Ugly Betty"

A show that not only is funny, but both exhilarating and heartbreaking at the same time, just shouldn't be going off the air yet. So first let's give one great big middle finger to ABC for its mishandling of "Ugly Betty." While the show was struggling in the ratings in its old 8 pm Thursday slot, the network's idea to move it to Friday nights was absurd. Fridays and Saturdays are where quality TV shows go to die, and that's what happened. A last-ditch switch to its current 10 pm Wednesday time period was too little, too late.

And tonight's show featured a major turning point in the life of young Justin Suarez, Betty's nephew. That's the part that was so exhilarating and heartbreaking. If you didn't see it, I highly recommend that you watch this episode online at ABC.com or through On Demand or however you can. In fact, go back and first watch the episode from November called "Backseat Betty," which had a similarly conflicted feeling, and then watch tonight's "All the World's a Stage."

And here's a song featured in a crucial scene -- no, make that THE crucial scene -- from tonight's episode that I'm really loving right now, "Valium in the Sunshine" by Maps.



There are only four new "Ugly Betty" episodes left, and I miss it already.

Does Entertainment Weekly Think We're Dumb?

I've noticed this before, but finally got around to scanning it. Each issue of Entertainment Weekly features "The Must List: The Top 10 Things We Love This Week." Check out the bottom of this page:

Really? I have to turn the page to see numbers 5 through 10? Wow! Thanks for that helpful advice, EW! I never would have thought of this myself! I wish every feature in your magazine had similar guides, because every time I begin reading a story about a movie or celebrity and get to the end of the page and then the article just stops in mid-sentence, I'm confused for days on end!

My Week In Comics 3-10-10

Ah, Wednesdays. I go into Center City to get my comics and pick up the new Philadelphia Weekly, the paper that carries "Savage Love." Sure, I could read the column online, especially since both PW and its competitor among free weeklies, the Philadelphia CityPaper, seem to be moving more of their content online as the print editions gradually get smaller. But I'm still old-fashioned that way. As amazing as the Internet is, I still prefer reading papers and magazines (and comics) I hold in my hand. Even if someone gave me a Kindle or iPad I don't know if that would change.

Weekly World News 3 (of 4?): The question mark is because the publisher would like to continue the series but only if it sells. So do me a favor and run out and buy 10 copies. At any rate, the alternate cover of this one is a takeoff on the old Coppertone ad, but with Bat Boy instead of the Coppertone girl. Partial Bat Boy nudity alert! When you get past the cover, you'll find that right-wing columnist Ed Anger finally is successful in discrediting Bat Boy, Manigator, etc., with the help of "Faux" News. Gee, I wonder which network they're lampooning?

Superman: Last Stand of New Krypton 1 (of 3): There's no comparison between this and the 12-issue series that preceded it (World of New Krypton). Instead of a dragged-out murder mystery and Kryptonian internal politics, we get Brainiac attacking New Krypton and General Zod's counter-measure leading to the end of Commander Kal-El -- and the return of Superman. Lots of action. Speaking of which...

Action Comics 887: This book has been following the saga of Nightwing and Flamebird's attempt to capture agents of Zod hiding on Earth, and it's coming to a head as one of those agents has constructed a manifestation of the Kryptonian god Rao. It's incredibly huge and stomping across the Middle East. As Nightwing and Flamebird try and stop it, Lois Lane uses her connections to get to the scene for a first-hand report -- via blog, since she had to quit the Daily Planet thanks to her father's anti-Kryptonian hysteria.

"My Hair Was Hitting Me," He Said

As I was leaving the mall after seeing a movie today, I noticed a new machine sitting along with the kiddie rides, photo booths and those cranes you use to try and pluck a stuffed toy. "HURRICANE-FORCE WINDS! 78 MPH!" the sides of the booth screamed. For just two dollars, you can step inside and supposedly feel what it's like to be in the middle of a category 1 hurricane.

Somehow, it doesn't seem that interesting. Watching the video below, it starts at zero, goes up to 78 and then drops again. It's also not very realistic. Most hurricanes don't last about a minute, with winds at hurricane force for a grand total of 12 seconds...



This is entertainment? Worth the two bucks?

Amazing Race: Still All Good For Steve Smith

I'm not sure which qualifies as better news: the fact that Steve Smith, the ex-Phillies coach, and his daughter Allie are still doing well in "The Amazing Race," or the fact that they're getting some more screen time -- enough that they've won over the Entertainment Weekly recapper:

(T)hey're proving to be one of the most adorable racing couples ever on the show. They're funny, competent, charming, and supportive. And, by the looks of the past few weeks, they're going to be around much longer.

This week's episode featured a bus trip from Germany to France, where the teams had to perform tasks involving a reenactment of a World War I battle (complete with explosions and old-style planes overhead). Every team chose "Under Fire," in which they had to crawl under barbed wire to get a message from a "soldier" in order to get their next clue, over "In The Trenches," which involved deciphering Morse code for a message. Last week's leaders, cops Louie and Michael, retained their lead position (with Steve and Allie again in second place) and got the benefit of a Blind U-Turn: they got to pick one of the other teams and force that team to do both Detour tasks. They chose Joe and Heidi, apparently because of comments from Joe during the bus trip bragging about how well he and his wife were doing, even with his leg bothering him at the time, and how they weren't worried about the other teams.

The two teams annoying me the most are the Big Brother duo and the models. This episode's editing (not to mention the duo's commentary) really plays up the fact that Brent and Caite are bimbos. Failing to go south, as instructed, they neglected to pick up their clue after completing "Under Fire" -- they somehow found the next task, to ride bicycles to the next pit stop, by accident and had to ride back to the clue box to get the clue, then return to the pit stop.

And the obnoxious Jeff and Jordan from "Big Brother" got lost immediately after getting off the bus, where each team had to take a car and drive to a bakery to buy a baguette (in which they found the instructions to head to the battlefield), and they had a Speed Bump (an extra task because they hadn't been eliminated last week after finishing last). And still both of these teams finished ahead of poor Joe and Heidi, who never could figure out the Morse code message properly. The Jon Gosselin-lite and his wife fell from 3rd place all the way out of the Race. The model bimbos were 6th both times they got to the pit stop (they started in 7th), and the BB duo finished 7th.

Cowboys Jet and Cord moved from 4th to 3rd, with brothers Dan and Jordan up from 6th to 4th. Lesbian couple Carol and Brandy (who are pretty annoying in their own right) remained in 5th place. I'll be surprised if these two haven't broken up after they're done with the show.

Philly Sports FIVE-team update!

Finally! I don't know why I haven't really blogged about the local teams much recently, but I promised I would do so this weekend. As I begin to write this, there's an hour before Daylight Saving Time takes effect. If you don't believe me, it says so at philly.com:

See? The Associated Press confirms it. I suppose that makes for something of a deadline, like professional writers have to deal with. So let's get to work, shall we? And hey, I've got a mention of a brand new team! In order of best to worst...

The Phillies are in the midst of spring training, and even so they're in the best shape of our local teams. They're a pretty solid favorite to win their third straight National League championship. I have some concerns (the bullpen, the bench) but if their key players are in good health, I don't see why they won't be in the World Series once again. Thus far in the spring, their starting pitchers have been excellent. Roy Halladay, of course, is the main focus, and in his first two starts he hasn't allowed a run in 5 innings while striking out 8 batters. With the offensive support he should get, with the switch to the NL meaning he'll face lineups that include opposing pitchers instead of designated hitters, with the fact that he's now in the same division as the Nationals and Marlins instead of the Yankees and Red Sox, he ought to rack up a lot of wins.

The Flyers need to rack up a lot of wins to secure a playoff spot, but they're still too inconsistent. The Olympic break, as I feared, dented their momentum. They've gone 4-2-1 over the last two weeks, but have been rather subpar defensively, capped off by an embarrassing 5-1 loss at home to Boston on Thursday night. But they followed that up with a 3-2 win over the tough Chicago Blackhawks today, coming from behind to tie the game with 2:04 left, and winning on a Chris Pronger goal with 2.1 seconds left. Besides the inconsistency, their goaltending has to be considered a question mark. Ray Emery is out for the season (and may never play again), and even though Michael Leighton has played very well, this is the first time he's had such a stretch of success. There's no guarantee it will last, or that he can step it up for a playoff run, and after Leighton there's Brian Boucher, who has been poor in very little playing time.

The Eagles need a great draft to shore up their weaknesses because they haven't done it through free agency. It's a weird situation because clauses in the collective bargaining agreement that's going to expire in a year or so have led to there being no salary cap, but also to most of the quality free agents being restricted instead of unrestricted (meaning if you want to sign one, the player's current team can either match the offer or receive draft picks as compensation). Still, all the Eagles have done is sign a guy coming off injuries (we saw how well that worked out with Stacy Andrews in 2009) and bring back Hank Baskett, who is now known for his fumble of the onside kick that jump-started the Saints' comeback to win the Super Bowl, but is still best known as Mr. Kendra Wilkinson. Also, they still haven't traded any of their quarterbacks, so the endless Donovan McNabb debate continue to pollute the airwaves.

And now for the new team: the Philadelphia Union, a new expansion franchise of Major League Soccer. There are three things wrong with this. One, it's soccer. Two, their stadium is in Chester. Three, the team may be shut down before it plays a game because the league's players are threatening a strike.

Still, they rank ahead of the pathetic 76ers. One of the worst teams in the NBA but probably not pitiful enough to really improve their draft lottery odds. A building that's half-empty almost every game. A coach who seems to be a moron, even to a non-basketball expert such as myself. And Allen Iverson's season was ended because of some combination of his daughter's illness, his wife's filing for divorce, his alleged gambling problem and his alleged alcoholism. Sorry, Sixers. Thanks for playing...



One bit of good news: I've beaten my deadline!

Quick Review: Alice in Wonderland

I was disappointed by Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland." I thought it would be a lot more silly and ridiculous. Visually, it mostly lived up to expectations. But the rest failed to excite me much. Here, Alice is 19 and attending a party that takes an unexpected turn -- to Alice, but not to anyone else at the party -- when she receives a marriage proposal. She runs off, falls down a rabbit hole and is back in Wonderland. Except it's called "Underland," and Alice doesn't remember being there before, so when she encounters the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp), the Cheshire cat, etc., she is taken aback. It seems that "Underland" is suffering, as the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) has taken control from her sister, the White Queen (Anne Hathaway), and that Alice must help defeat the Red Queen, and...what the hell? It's Alice in Wonderland, with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, and it's supposed to be crazy and wild -- I repeat -- WILD! Instead, much of the time it's sad, restrained and almost dull. Where's the fun? My grade: B-minus.

Quick Review: Cop Out

Good grief, I saw this 10 days ago and am finally getting around to writing about this old movie from the 1980s...what's that? It's actually a new movie? Starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan? Directed -- but not written -- by Kevin Smith? Oh. Well, it sure seems like it's from the 1980s. It's a generic mismatched-buddy-cop movie. It's "Lethal Weapon" or "Beverly Hills Cop" or whatever -- right down to the music used in the film (by Harold Faltermeyer, who had a hit with the "Axel F" theme from..."Beverly Hills Cop." Early on, there's a scene in which Morgan's character is interrogating a suspect and repeats various lines from movies. He says to Willis he's paying homage. This movie may think it's paying homage, but it's really just a retread, with a convoluted plot, and it's kind of all over the place. Morgan does his shtick, so if you like his act you'll enjoy it more. I think Willis was just in it for the paycheck. There is a lively turn by Seann William Scott, who robs a store where Willis is selling a rare baseball card (don't ask). And a gang leader is played by Guillermo Diaz, who happens to be openly gay, so props to him. My grade: C-plus.

My Week In Comics 3-3-10

Yes, I know, I'm behind again...sigh...

Adventure Comics 8: A new banner at the top of the cover, depicting the next chapter: "Last Stand of New Krypton." This book is broken into three stories: one in the present, where members of the Legion of Super-Heroes who came from a hundred years in the future join forces with Superboy and Mon-El to help stop Brainiac's attack on New Krypton; one in that very future, where other Legionnaires deal with problems caused by that attack; and one involving General Lane's Project 7734 and a member of the Metropolis Science Police who joins his cause, but is actually a Kryptonian working for General Zod.

Milestone Forever 2 (of 2): Concluding this brief miniseries designed to give an ending to the Milestone stories before their merger into the DC Universe. One of the stories features Static at his 10-year high school reunion. That interested me since I picked up the Static series regularly. The other features Hardware, but that book I wasn't into, so it really did nothing for me.

Detective Comics 862: Part 2 of a tale of parallel stories of killers with a similar modus operandi, one being hunted by Batman in the past, the other by Batwoman in the present. Or are the killers one and the same? I'm not quite sure.

Southland Needs A Quality Check

At the Campaign for Working Families tax site where I've been volunteering, when we do a person's income tax return one of the site managers reviews it for accuracy before it's e-filed. I bring this up because whatever procedures TV and movie productions use to check for errors, someone on the show "Southland" apparently was off the job.

"Southland" is the cop show that was canceled by NBC because those geniuses decided it couldn't be aired in the 9 pm Eastern timeslot after the 10 pm slot was given to Jay Leno. TNT picked up the show, replayed the 7 episodes of Season 1 from NBC and then began showing the 6 episodes produced but never aired due to  NBC's cancellation. There were a few things I noticed in last night's episode that really had my head rolling:

• A possible suspect in a triple homicide was identified as "Wayne Dorff." Later, however, a man being interviewed by detectives referred to him as "Dwayne" instead of "Wayne."

• Detectives Moretta and Bryant (Kevin Alejandro, Shawn Hatosy) were part of a stakeout of a local auto shop believed to be a front for a criminal gang. Moretta saw someone familiar through his binoculars. "Isn't this that kid Orlando we busted last year?" It was. They decided to pick him up on a parole violation (gang association) and try to get some information out of him. As Orlando drove off, two other cops follow but their car was cut off by a fire truck and they lost him. Later (after a switch to the triple homicide plotline and a commercial break) the cops who had been on surveillance are now in their car, driving. They happen to spot Orlando talking to some people. As they jump out of the car and Orlando immediately bolts, one of the cops asks, "Isn't this that kid Orlando we busted last year?" The exact same line. Like they didn't know they spotted him earlier and wanted to arrest him? Upon repeated viewing I think they may have dubbed in the earlier line; if they did, I can only imagine why.

• Near the end of the show the sister of officer Ben Sherman (Ben McKenzie) set him up on a blind date. He arrived at the restaurant and his sister assured him that "you are going to love Lilla." She pronounced it "lie-la." (The spelling of "Lilla" is from the closed-captioning.) Then the woman and another couple arrived, and she introduced Ben. "Ben, this is Lilla." This time she pronouced it "lill-a."

I know there are continuity errors and similar goofs in movies and TV shows, but I almost never notice them. So for me to notice all of this, it has to be pretty bad. I gave "Southland" a chance when TNT began showing NBC's reruns and have stuck with it. It's not one of my favorites but I'm still with it, for now.

But they really need to clean up their act. Sort of like Ben McKenzie has, since his days on "The O.C.":

Eye Candy And Coming Attractions

Eye candy and coming attractions...there's a dirty joke in there somewhere...anyhoo, this picture is currently displayed on my desktop...

I think I'll keep it a while. (By the way, I had no idea John Legend was that solidly built.)

I'm a bit tired, plus I have to catch up on stuff on my DVR from earlier this evening, so this is all for tonight. During the week I'll have some posts that may not necessarily involve shirtless photos. Reviews of 2 movies, my comic books from this past Wednesday and, because I don't seem to be talking about sports so much for some reason, I'll throw some of that in as well.

Amazing Race: Steve Smith Is A Homer...Homer Simpson

Last week on "The Amazing Race" we learned that former Phillies coach Steve Smith was in pain, possibly from having fallen while running or from moving a wooden horse around, but probably because he's 57 years old. This week, the show provided him -- and everyone else -- something to relieve any pain he might have been suffering.

Oh, all right. Spoilers follow. Continue after the jump.

Tattoos, Good and Bad (maybe NSFW)

You may not want these pictures popping up on your screen if you're at work, or on someone else's computer, or whatever, so consider this fair warning. They're not explicit, but there is rear nudity. I just wanted to comment on the tattoos. So, click the "Read More" link if you dare...

Quick Reviews (Oscar edition): The Hurt Locker, A Serious Man

This week I finally completed my mission of seeing all ten Oscar Best Picture nominees. I had to settle for watching "A Serious Man" at home on pay-per-view because it wasn't in any theaters, but I got the full movie experience (so to speak) from "The Hurt Locker."

Breaking my usual format, let me say right up front that my grade for both films is a B-minus. What was interesting was that they got to that destination from different directions. "The Hurt Locker" follows a U.S. Army bomb squad as it defuses explosive devices in Iraq in 2004, but it doesn't really tell a focused story. We see a series of incidents in which the unit is working, and an on-screen caption of how many days remain in their current tour of duty, and some off-duty activity. The sergeant who physically works on the bombs (Jeremy Renner, Oscar Best Actor nominee) gets most of the attention because of his unorthodox ways of working that the other members of his unit feel are too risky. It was tense at times, but sort of meanders along, and it ends sort of as it begins.

There is a tale to be told in "A Serious Man," a dark comedy written, directed and produced by the Coen brothers. In 1967 in suburban Minneapolis, the life of college professor Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg) is unraveling. At work, a student complains about a failing grade and leaves behind a cash bribe, and the student's father follows it up with a threat to sue if Larry doesn't take the bribe and change his son's grade. Larry's up for tenure but someone's sent anonymous letters to the school that may be a problem. At home, his wife wants a divorce so she can be with a widowed family friend, his son's about to complete his bar mitzvah but he secretly smokes pot, his daughter seems to be stealing money from his wallet...the problems keep piling up. Larry seeks answers from three different rabbis, but for varying reasons none are able or willing to provide solace. This tale was much more engrossing than "The Hurt Locker," and the use of Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody To Love" was creative, but the end was jarring, a real "WTF?" kind of ending.

So, now that I've seen all ten nominees, this would be my Best Picture ballot (the new rules ask that voters rank the nominees from 1 to 10, and a formula using those rankings is applied if one film doesn't win a majority of first-place votes) if I had one:

1. Up In The Air
2. Precious
3. Up
4. District 9
5. An Education
6. Inglourious Basterds
7. The Blind Side
8. A Serious Man
9. The Hurt Locker
10. Avatar

It's Really Hard...

I know what you thought when you saw the title of this post. You perverts. Get that thought out of your head. I'm referring to my new external hard drive. I am finally backing up my files. Hopefully.

Through a link posted on SlickDeals.net I found a nice deal on a Western Digital My Passport Elite 500 GB portable external hard drive. It arrived today. I plugged it into the USB port. Eventually I figured out I'd have to install software. There were 4 categories of things to install, one of them didn't install for some reason. The instructions that came with it are non-existent, and the online help at their website is about as useless. I couldn't figure out how to start a backup or anything.

Finally, I decided to just back up my files using my Norton Security Suite -- the one that just replaced McAfee as the security package Comcast provides free to its Internet customers. It seems to be working as I write this. If it doesn't then I hope someone reading this is a computer genius and can help me.

This is a big deal because I'll have backups of my photos and some documents, and especially my mp3 files.  I wouldn't want to have to copy those from my CD again, and I have plenty of downloads that have never been backed up or burned to CDs. Losing a lot of them would be a disaster.

More Random TV Talk

Four more "singers" have been voted off the "American Idol" island. They won't be missed. Simon Cowell will be missed. His commentary is about the only thing keeping me watching. I suppose I should be shallow and say I enjoy contestant Tim Urban's shirtless picture. Perhaps if he showed some skin on the show he can hang around a few weeks more.

Meanwhile, tonight we were force-fed an appearance by Danny Gokey. He sang, which was bad enough (though, since I record it each week and fast-forward through the commercials, I also was able to forward past the song). Then he had to not only pimp his late wife (again), but also the fact that the song he sang was written by someone whose wife also died. I got this from Entertainment Weekly, and I'll probably have to say it until the day I die: put the GO in Gokey!

Thank goodness for the DVR. I also fast-forward through the filmed packages for each wannabe such as this week's inane "Something that America would be surprised to learn about me is..." followed by a totally unsurprising (and usually uninteresting) fact. Here's a clue, wannabes (and show's producers): no one's heard of any of you before this. I don't know ANYTHING about you. And unless you're going to talk about your nights at the local sex club either riding the sling or on your knees at the "milking station," I don't care.

Meanwhile, last week I worried that "Desperate Housewives" was hinting that Katherine would go lesbian with the stripper. I so hoped they wouldn't go there. They went there. Plus, apparently (suddenly) the gay couple on the block throw big parties all the time, but also (again, suddenly) are trying to adopt a baby. And Susan was an idiot (as usual). I seriously think I'm tiring of this show. The only question is, should I stick it out until John Barrowman arrives in April to do whatever he's doing that will lead to the end of the stupid Bolen mystery and Drea de Matteo's leaving the show?

If I stop watching both "DH" and "Idol," and with "Ugly Betty" ending next month, I won't have many shows to watch on the "big four" networks -- "The Simpsons," "Family Guy," and "Bones." I'm sticking with "The Amazing Race" at least as long as Steve Smith is still on. On cable, there's also "RuPaul's Drag Race" and "Be Good Johnny Weir" but there aren't too many episodes of those shows so they won't be on much longer. "Mad Men" and "Robot Chicken" are in between seasons. I've been watching "Southland" since it moved to TNT. They've got some new episodes now, so we'll see if TNT wants to continue running it. I like it but I'm not sure I love it yet. Oh, and I musn't forget my daily dose of TMZ.

I know there are a lot of shows that are popular and/or critically acclaimed, but as I've said before, something needs to hook me in order for me to even try to watch. So if I've got some more empty time slots in the coming weeks I doubt they'll be filled by other shows.

My Week In Comics 2-24-10

Another end-of-the-month cornucopia -- I picked up 8 books, and I thought there would be a 9th but it apparently got pushed back a week. So...

Blackest Night 7 (of 8): I mentioned a week ago in my comment on Green Lantern 51 that there was some stuff I enjoyed involving Orange Lantern Lex Luthor and his lust for power. Here, he's not only content for the power he gets from his orange ring -- he now wants them all. But there's one moment, when Wonder Woman has her magic lasso around Lex, and he reveals what he really wants, that was sublime. Oh, and while that's happening, every living thing in the universe is dying...

Batman and Robin 9: The conclusion of a fine three-part story arc. "Batman" lives, then dies. Batwoman dies, then lives. And Dick Grayson owes Tim Drake a huge apology.

Superman 697: We're at a stage where they're setting up the next round of crossovers among the Super-books, so there's a bit of a mish-mash here. Mon-El, with the help of Superboy, is about to discover who certain people in his life really are, and where they're from.

Teen Titans 80: The second part of Static's return to Dakota, (with Teen Titans trying to locate him). One of those stories where the bad guy is trying to convince a hero that he's gone legit. Yeah, right.

Flash: Rebirth 6 (of 6): I've mentioned before that this miniseries explaining Barry Allen's return has been oft-delayed. The conclusion finally arrived in the stores, and it kind of arrives with a whimper. Maybe it'll work better if and when I re-read the entire series.

Gotham City Sirens 9: A woman is murdered and it appears that our heroes...well, anti-heroes...are being set up to take the blame, so the girls enlist the aid of the Riddler, who's still doing detective work instead of crime. But something strange seems to be going on in his mind...

Victorian Undead 4 (of 6): London is overrun by zombies! And the whole thing was caused by Professor Moriarty! Sherlock Holmes learns that his nemesis is alive...well, in a manner of speaking.

Weekly World News 2: Part two of "The Irredemption of Ed Anger." Poor Ed. Ultra-conservative in a world that adores Bat Boy and other "freaks" that Ed hates so much. Except for the half-man, half-gator, because the Manigator seems to be a God-fearing, beer-drinking, gun-carrying "real" Amurrican. And here's the alternate cover that I got again, instead of the tabloid-homage...look familiar, comic book readers?

Some Sports Illustrated Stuff

A week ago tomorrow, the cover of Sports Illustrated featured a headline for an article on baseball's spring training: "The Unlikely Genius Behind the New Moneyball." I wanted to vomit. Wasn't the old Moneyball bad enough? The premise of "Moneyball" -- that a focus on statistics, including newly invented and bizarre statistics, is more important in building a great team than things like scouting, watching games and actually seeing how players perform, not to mention spending lots of money -- has always been flawed. The main practitioner, the Oakland A's under general manager Billy Beane, won a few division titles but never got into a World Series, and haven't been a winning team in the last three years.

So what of this "new" Moneyball? The article itself, while it does delve into some statistical stupidity, actually makes a good point. It features the Seattle Mariners and their GM, Jack Zduriencik, and the team's concentrating on defense, leading to improvement overall (from 61 wins in 2008 to 85 last year). Good defense makes the pitching staff better, and we know how important good pitching is. And what Zduriencik says his team is doing is blending the old and new -- using some statistical analysis while still relying on good scouting. This seems to me like good common sense. With the M's getting Cliff Lee from the Phillies, they should be even better in 2010.

As for the SI that will arrive in my mailbox tomorrow, there's good news and bad news. The bad news is that this is the cover:

 

The good news is there's this thing called the Sports Illustrated cover jinx...

Quick Reviews: The Wolfman, The Crazies

I still need to get to the two Oscar Best Picture nominees I haven't seen yet. One, "The Hurt Locker" is at one of the Ritz theaters downtown. The other, "A Serious Man," isn't playing but I think I can watch it at home through On Demand. Only a week to go! Meanwhile...

"The Wolfman" is a remake of the 1941 film. It stars Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. I didn't have high hopes, but, just like with "From Paris With Love," I was hoping for some fun. Instead, it was just dull. Not horrendously bad, but definitely a wait-for-the-DVD at best. The release date had been pushed back a number of times. I wouldn't have minded if they kept pushing. My grade: D-plus.

On the other hand, "The Crazies" -- also a remake, as it turns out -- was a lot of fun at times. People in a quiet little farming community in Iowa suddenly start acting, well, crazy. The town's sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) starts to investigate and finds a possible solution. Things get out of control when the military swoops in. It becomes an entirely different movie at that point -- not as much fun. Still, it's definitely worth checking out. My grade: B.

Amazing Race: Smiths Surge

I'll be kind and put a SPOILER ALERT here. Don't read further if you don't want to know who's out of the Race.

 

When we last left Steve Smith and his daughter Allie, the former Phils coach was practically invisible on "The Amazing Race," and were 7th of the 9 teams still alive. This week, the Smiths got a little more screen time as the teams moved from Chile to Argentina. (With the powerful earthquake devastating Chile over the weekend, a brief message of acknowledgment from host Phil Keoghan was shown at the start of the episode.)

In Argentina, teams had a choice of Detours -- a task they had to fulfill before receiving their next clue. The Smiths chose the one that nvolved playing polo but with wooden horses instead of actual horses. Steve (who was shown falling down while running earlier) was groaning in pain while helping move the horse to where they had struck the ball (teams had 9 shots to move the ball down the field to score; if they failed they had to start over). Allie asked him what it was that was hurting, and Steve said something like "I'm 57, what doesn't hurt?" However, not only did they complete their tasks successfully, but thanks to troubles other teams had, Steve and Allie were the second team to reach the next pit stop, following cowboys Jet and Cord.

The rest of the field, in order of finish: Carol and Brandy (lesbian couple), Joe and Heidi (married couple, he looks and acts a little too much like Jon Gosselin), "Big Brother" couple Jordan and Jeff, brothers Dan (straight) and Jordan (gay), models Brent and Caite (the former Miss Teen South Carolina), and police detectives Louie and Michael. Eliminated this week: "moms/attorneys" Monique and Shawne.

Now Back To Your Hockey Season, Already In Progress

The Vancouver Olympics are over. The United States won the most medals overall but host Canada won the most gold medals, including the one they needed the most, the men's hockey gold. Team USA gave a great effort, coming from behind to tie the game on a goal by Zach Parise with 25 seconds left to force overtime, only to lose when -- ugh -- Sidney Crosby won it for the Canadians.

Despite the result, it was a great game, a great spectacle, and certainly can't hurt hockey's popularity in the USA. How much will it help? Honestly, I don't know. It's not like hockey is going to become our national pastime. And as great as hockey is in the Olympics, the NHL regular season can never live up to it.

Why? The talent is diluted among 30 teams. The 82-game schedule is bad enough, but when the league shuts down for the Olympics it's really condensed. There are more instances of teams playing on back-to-back nights or three times in four nights. It affects the quality of play. The teams have been sitting around for the better part of two weeks. And for the Olympians, those players could wear down from the extra games. For the Canadian players, having been forced into an elimination game, their "regular season" is now 89 games. And the travel will be worse in 2014, when the games will be held in Sochi, Russia instead of North America.

Unlike in international play, fighting is not only condoned, it's practically encouraged. (By the way, we saw hard hitting throughout the Olympics without one single fight. Any rationale for the allowance of fights in the NHL is, frankly, shot to hell...wait, what's that noise? Why, it's a bunch of angry Flyers fans marching to my door demanding my head on a platter for that comment! Here, I got a picture of them...)

Speaking of those Flyers, they were on a four-game winning streak a couple of weeks ago. They won two huge home-and-home sets, first rallying from a pair of 2-0 deficits to beat New Jersey twice, and then taking two more from Montreal, one of the teams in the Eastern Conference playoff morass. That momentum came to a screeching halt thanks to the league's shutdown. Sure, it might be regained, but the Flyers have had enough trouble being consistent without a two-week vacation thrust upon them. And Mike Richards and Chris Pronger are two of those Team Canada guys who got no rest, with Pronger being 35 years old. That's not good for the Flyers.

The NHL derives little real benefit from stopping for the Olympics. It's great for Olympic hockey but not for the NHL. There may be a ratings increase but it won't be huge, and it won't be enough to get the league a better TV contract. As I stated above, it affects the quality of play, it disrupts the season. It could work if the league cut back the schedule during Olympic years -- or, better, cut the schedule every year -- but the league won't be willing to give up the revenue from those games and the players won't want reduced salaries as a result.

A final decision hasn't been made as to whether NHL players will participate in the 2014 Olympics. The players want to play, the league isn't fully committed. If I had my way, they wouldn't go, but since when do I get my way in these matters?