My Week In Comics 12-30-09

It's the last week of 2009, and from what I've read no books at all were supposed to be out this week, but DC Comics was kind enough to whip up some promotion for the comic shops to put out one new release...

Blackest Night 6 (of 8): ...and fortunately, it's one that I wanted. What I like to call the pseudo-zombies are still attacking, and things have gotten worse: not only have dead heroes and villains been turned into Black Lanterns, but heroes who had died and then returned -- including Superman -- have also been converted by black power rings. Two such resurrected heroes, Barry Allen and Hal Jordan, are also being chased by black rings. Barry being The Flash, though, figures out a clever way to outrun them. And a new twist is in play as each of the power rings wielded by the various Lantern Corps gets a duplicate; the new rings then hook up with people to wear them. The choices are most interesting. Although I haven't been so crazy about a lot of the tie-in books, this series continues to be a fun ride.

My Week In Comics 12-23-09

I had the strange idea of writing haiku about each one of this week's books, but it didn't pan out. Filing the idea away for the future...

Superman 695: There's a moment where, during a fight with Mon-El, Parasite gets a taste of Bizarro's powers and can't handle it; I found myself wishing Parasite would've broken out into Bizarro-speak. Later, Mon-El learns just how much General Lane has manipulated things against Kryptonians, but also learns that others are working to bring Lane down -- including someone who was supposed to be dead. Oh, and Mon-El has sex!

World's Finest 3 (of 4): This time the team-up features Supergirl and Batgirl (who track down Toyman and Mr. Freeze and learn just what they're up to); events take a turn for the worse, meaning the final issue will finally feature the big guns of the Superman and Batman "families."

Detective Comics 860: A satisfying conclusion to the story of how Kate Kane became Batwoman; and Kate learns the truth about her twin sister, confirming what I suspected three issues ago.

Green Lantern 49: I wasn't going to pick this up, even with the "Blackest Night" tie-in. Most of it deals with GL John Stewart's first becoming aware of the threat, but the last few pages actually picked up on a thread from the main series, so it seemed essential.

Gotham City Sirens 7:
See how Catwoman,
Ivy and Harley spend time
apart at Christmas.

(Got a haiku in after all! I'm the man!)

Victorian Undead 2 (of 6): Government agents have warned Sherlock Holmes not to investigate the strange events. You know, the zombies. Naturally, Holmes and Watson do not comply. By the way, from what I've heard so far about the movie, it sounds like Holmes fans such as myself will enjoy this miniseries much more. I'm going to try to keep an open mind, though.

Some Rambling Random And Shirtless Stuff

I've got a few things that popped through my head recently that fit into the TLFT (Too Long For Twitter) category, so I figured lumping them together into a single blog post would work...

• When did songs like "Sleigh Ride," "Winter Wonderland" and especially "Baby It's Cold Outside" become Christmas music? There's nothing about Christmas in any of them. I'm not complaining. Would the beautiful voice of Annie Lennox have ever been heard singing "Winter Wonderland" if not for the holiday connection? I just got to wondering how it happened. Who was the first person to link these songs to Christmas? A singer, record producer or radio DJ, perhaps?

• On Christmas morning there was still tons of leftover snow from the storm 6 days earlier. Except for the areas shoveled -- paths along the sidewalk, people's driveways and some parking spots, and the part of the street that was plowed -- snow was piled up all over the place. The next day, virtually all of it was gone. Thanks to a soaking rain that started Christmas evening and temperatures that soared into the 50s the next day, you would never know that we had 23.1 inches of snow (the official total, although in my neighborhood I think it was more like 14 or 15 inches, which is, believe it or not, a lot more manageable) a little over a week ago.

• Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals is my favorite non-Flyers player. I love the fact that he's not just a goal-scorer. He doesn't shy away from hard hits or complain to the referees about them (unlike a certain whiny Pittsburgh Penguin); in fact, he revels in the physical aspect of the game. It does concern me that some of those hits lately have trended towards being dirty, and he recently received a two-game suspension for one such hit. I hope he reins himself in enough without completely losing that component of the game. Meanwhile, he was kind enough to pose shirtless for a Russian publication. Should we be concerned that he seems to have a tramp stamp on his lower back?

• I have an ethical dilemma. Would it be wrong for me to wish that my TV would die? I really want to join the HDTV age but I can't justify the expense, especially with my finances in their present state, unless the old TV dies. It's over 10 years old now (I've had it at least as long as I've been in my house, if not longer) and stubbornly refuses to die! Is there any way I could throw a brick through the screen and make it look like an accident?
  

Merry Christmas!

I am about to shut down the computer for the night -- hard to believe, isn't it? -- to eat dinner, followed by what's become my own little annual Christmas Eve tradition: baking chocolate chip cookies for Christmas with the family tomorrow. Sorry, they're not made from scratch, just the store-brand version of Pillsbury's tubes of cookie dough. But they're still good! While baking I'll be listening to Christmas music, either on the radio or my iPod, and I'll squeeze in a few DVD or VHS recordings of holiday specials. I've watched some already the last two nights, and I won't get to everything in my collection, but I'll get the most important ones...

Watched: A Pinky & The Brain Christmas, It's A Wonderful Tiny Toons Christmas Special, Bugs Bunny's Looney Christmas Tales, Opus & Bill in A Wish For Wings That Work, The Year Without A Santa Claus (because I am a Heat Miser, as evidenced by my earlier Tweet), The Nanny Cartoon Christmas Special: Oy To The World

Plan to watch tonight: A Charlie Brown Christmas, Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not the Jim Carrey movie!), at least one of the Simpsons' Christmas-themed episodes through the first 12 seasons, the ones out on DVD (including the very first episode of the series, "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire")

Maybe next year: A Christmas Story, Scrooge (the musical starring Albert Finney), Animaniacs: Helloooo, Holidays!, A Muppet Family Christmas

So I leave you for now with this holiday classic. The video is tacky but I love the song:



Seriously, though, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, whichever one you celebrate. And have some chocolate chip cookies. They're really good.

Quick Review: Avatar

Except for his participation in a couple of documentaries, "Avatar" marks writer-director James Cameron's first effort since "Titanic." It's the future, and humans are in the midst of trying to mine a distant planet called Pandora for a substance called unobtainium. (When I heard that word my eyes were rolling. I thought it was something they came up with for this movie, but there's actually a Wikipedia page about the word.) They meet resistance from the natives, the NaVi, who are blue-skinned, maybe ten feet tall and sort of look like a combination of people and cats. Since humans cannot breathe in Pandora's atmosphere, "avatars" -- hybrids created with human and NaVi genes, controlled by people using some sort of mind-link -- are used to explore.

Naturally, the scientific component of the mission (led by Sigourney Weaver) is at odds with the combo corporate-military component (Stephen Lang as the corporal in charge of security and Giovanni Ribisi as the  corporate honcho). Jake Scully (Sam Worthington), a paralyzed former Marine whose DNA is compatible with the avatar of his deceased twin brother, is caught between the humans and the NaVi when, while controlling his avatar, he learns the ways of the natives with the help of a female NaVi, and develops feelings for her.

Most of the hype has centered around the advances in computer-generated filming technology that Cameron says finally allowed "Avatar" to be made. It cost a lot of money to create, and the 3D version I saw certainly looks impressive. I'd bet the non-3D version doesn't look bad, either. My problem is, there's this little thing called a script, and it needs work. Some of the hokey dialogue needs to go, the characters need to be a little more nuanced, and the plot needs to be a little less obvious. Also, the closing credits feature a song by Leona Lewis, which is so clearly a second cousin to Celine Dion's "Titanic" hit that it's painful. My grade: C-plus.

Sam Worthington is nice to look at, though, when he's not all blue and dragging a tail.

Quick Review: Up In The Air

Another excellent George Clooney performance sparks "Up In The Air." Clooney plays Ryan Bingham, who is a "corporate downsizer" -- the company he works for lays off workers for bosses who are afraid to do it themselves. In his spare time he's also a motivational speaker, with a pitch about a life free of heavy baggage -- including relationships. Bingham's life is one of constant travel, with little contact with family or friends, and as a result he's piled up a slew of points in frequent-flier miles, hotel rewards cards, etc.

Two things come along that threaten his way of living. He meets a woman (Vera Farmiga) who also does a lot of traveling, and begins seeing her at various stopovers; he becomes intrigued by the idea of making an actual commitment, even to the point of inviting her to his sister's wedding. Meanwhile, his company flirts with the idea of laying off people via videoconference instead of spending so much money sending people around the country. That idea comes from a new hire (Anna Kendrick), and Bingham decides that she should go out on the road with him to see what it's like to fire people in person. (Most of the people fired in the film are not actors, but people who were actually laid off in real life, and are essentially reliving the experience.)

The acting is fine all around, but Clooney is the anchor. He brings humanity to a character who would otherwise come off as unfeeling and unsympathetic. My grade: A.

Flyers TV Broadcast FAIL

I wish I had a way to capture the image -- stupid busted digital camera! Maybe on one of the replays (10 or 10:30 tonight on the Comcast Network or at 1:30 am on Comcast Sportsnet) someone else can do it. During a stoppage in play there was a promo for the Flyers Santa Sacks -- a gift package which includes 2 tickets to a game and other goodies -- and at the bottom of the screen the graphic read: "Order by 12/16 for holiday delivery." Yeah, I'll go back in time to do that.

Betty White As Santa!

From "The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" -- too funny not to share! Betty is fabulous!

Flyers: Unfathomably Bad

It's hard to believe a franchise that has always had a tradition of outworking the opponent has come to this: another embarrassing Flyers loss tonight (4-1 at home to Florida) followed by another players-only team meeting and more comments challenging the team's collective manhood -- tonight's quote from Ian Laperriere: "I'm mad, and hopefully my teammates are mad, too."

Since starting the season 12-5-1, the Flyers have a pitiful 3-13-1 record, and are just 2-7-1 since Peter Laviolette took over the coaching duties. They have the second-worst record in the entire league and are 7 points out of 8th place and the final playoff spot. They'd need to leapfrog 6 teams at this point to make the postseason. There are still a lot of games, but with points being doled out for losses in overtime and shootouts, it's that much tougher to pull away from a team, but also that much tougher to catch up.

This is a team that many people expected to seriously challenge for, if not win, the Stanley Cup. This type of effort is inexcusable. It's getting to the point where I can hardly watch any more. When the Panthers took a 3-0 lead 1:30 into the third period, I switched over to Monday Night Football (not that that game was any better).

This being Christmas week, I want to try and watch as many of my favorite holiday DVDs and videotapes as I can. Wednesday night, when the Flyers next take the ice (starting a 6-game road trip that includes what could turn out to be the worst New Year's Day Winter Classic in its three-year history), seems like as good a night as any to watch some of them.

My Week In Comics 12-16-09

Another quiet week last week, with just two books (and not particularly good ones at that). This week I've got 5 (possibly 6) on my list. It looks like the end of each month is when many of the series I'm buying regularly are scheduled.

Simpsons Comics 161: If you saw an episode of the TV show from 2007 called "Marge Gamer," in which Marge starts playing an online role-playing game, you've pretty much read this entire book.

Supergirl 48: Except for a bit regarding Lana Lang's illness, this issue (and the next) gets away from all of the exciting "New Krypton" plotlines entirely, in favor of Supergirl's encounter with Silver Banshee.

Lather, Rinse, Eagles Make Playoffs, Repeat

It's back to the NFL playoffs for the Eagles, for the 8th time in Andy Reid's 11 years as head coach. Today's somewhat lackluster 27-13 win over San Francisco clinched the postseason appearance. The Eagles remain one game ahead of Dallas in the NFC East, with two games left; first place in the division will most likely come down to the season finale in Dallas in two weeks.

For the Eagles, it's familiar territory. The only thing they lack is a Super Bowl victory. Five NFC title games, four lost; one Super Bowl appearance, a loss -- like so much with the Eagles, the song remains the same. Can they change the tune this year, the way the Phillies did in 2008? Because otherwise it's hard to get excited. The good news is that even the teams with the best records don't seem unbeatable (New Orleans finally lost for the first time last night, while Indianapolis hasn't lost yet but could have lost any number of games).

While the order of finish of the playoff teams is still in question in the NFC, there are only 3 teams -- Dallas, Green Bay and the NY Giants -- alive for the final 2 NFC playoff berths. In the AFC, on the other hand, only two teams have clinched the playoffs, there are two 8-6 teams in the Wild Card slots and six 7-7 teams right behind them.

Quick Review: Invictus

The casting of Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela in "Invictus" was certainly not unexpected. What is unexpected is the film in which he plays Mandela. It's not a straight-up biopic. Instead, it tells a specific story while touching on the entirety of Mandela's life, including his release from prison and rise to the presidency of South Africa. Shortly after becoming the nation's leader in 1994, Mandela attends a rugby game and notices that blacks in the crowd cheer against the South African team, the Springboks, seen as a symbol of prejudice and apartheid. With South Africa set to host the 1995 Rugby World Cup, Mandela sets out to change that, in order to help unite the nation, starting with a meeting with the captain of the Springboks, Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon). Needless to say, Freeman is excellent, as is Damon (who bulked up for the role to look more like a rugby player -- see photo). There's a somewhat predictable sports-movie aspect to the World Cup results, but it's offset by the fact that it's a true story and one I wasn't familiar with. My grade: B-plus.

I Hate Winter!

As I write this, the snow has yet to arrive in my neighborhood, but it's very close. The forecast estimates from the local TV stations (one of which is aligned with Accuweather), the National Weather Service and Phillyweather.net (my favorite site for reading about local weather) range from 8-14 inches to 15-25 inches. I can't stand this. I used to like snow when I was in school and when I was working, because there was the possibility of getting days off. Now, though, it is very unwelcome. It's messy, I hate having to shovel the steps and sidewalk in front of my house, I don't have any snow melt or rock salt or anything to keep the liquid from re-freezing, too many people in my neighborhood don't even bother shoveling or do such a poor job that they make it even more treacherous to walk on, it causes the buses to be even more off-schedule than they usually are...

In the last two years I've come to hate the cold weather (snow or no snow) even more. I want to be warm. I'm more comfortable when I'm warm. I can tolerate a heat wave. I can't bundle up enough to feel okay when it's freezing. I don't know if it has to do with the weight I've lost since late 2007, but I now feel like if I ever hit the lottery, I'd actually consider moving to a warmer location. I've never thought I'd ever want to leave Philadelphia but winters are getting to me more and more awful. Where's global warming when you need it?

Another Judgmental Right-Winger

I wrote this for the Outsports blog. Go and read it first, and then come back here for a little bit of additional commentary, which is more appropriate on this forum than on Outsports...

So we have a pro football player -- Chris Henry -- who died after falling out of the back of a pickup truck, apparently because of some sort of domestic dispute with his fiancée, and another pro football player -- Jay Feely, a placekicker, so to many he's not really a football player -- feels the need to go on Twitter on the very day Chris Henry died and say that "Chris Henry seemed to have turned his life around. But, you can’t live on the brink of destruction without inevitably falling off the ledge" even though there's nothing indicating that anything criminal happened. Just because Chris Henry was arrested a few times in recent years automatically means he was living "on the brink of destruction" even though everyone on his team says he turned his life around?

Awfully judgmental for someone who professes on his Twitter page to being a "Christian, with political aspirations." Oh, wait -- the online Sporting News profile I mentioned in the Outsports post lists two TV shows Jay Feely watches: "Hannity" and "The O'Reilly Factor." And surprise: Feely was on Hannity's show back in June and allegedly had some discussions as to whether President Obama is a "socialist Muslim."

It all makes sense. Another Faux News-worshiping right-wing nut who wants to tell the rest of us what to do. Fortunately I have no political aspirations and can't logically be described as much of a Christian, so it's easy for me to say that Jay Feely is a douchebag and if he ever suffered a career-ending injury to his kicking leg, I wouldn't exactly be heartbroken.

Paraphrasing Madonna: Halladay! Celebrate!

On June 3, 2009, the day after Roy Halladay struck out 14 Angels en route to his 9th win of 2009 (at the time that total led the majors), and well before the rumors and trade talks heated up, I posted the following in the Toronto Blue Jays thread on the Outsports.com Discussion Board: "Does Halladay have a no-trade clause? Is there any chance that he would be traded if the Jays are well out of the playoff race by the trade deadline? Preferably to a team that plays its home games in the 215 area code?"

Phillies fans, no need to thank me. Just doing my job. (Although gifts and monetary donations are always welcome.)

Essentially, the two trades the Phils made are in actuality a straight-up deal of Cy Young award winners: Cliff Lee for Roy Halladay. There's no way of knowing how the careers of the three prospects the Phillies sent to Toronto for Halladay, or those of the three prospects acquired by the Phils from Seattle for Lee, will turn out. All the "experts" can make projections but we won't know which players will succeed and which will fail for a number of years. So there's no reason to fret over that now.

Halladay, needless to say, is an excellent pitcher whose work won't suffer from coming to the designated hitter-less National League. Everyone wanted him last year but the Blue Jays' price was too high. The Phils then got Lee from Cleveland. Toronto had to trade Halladay in this off-season, knowing that no team would give up much without signing Halladay to an extension, and that Halladay wouldn't negotiate such a contract once spring training rolled around. So the Blue Jays lowered their asking price to something the Phils could live with.

I've heard a lot of complaints from callers to sports-talk station WIP that the Phils should have kept Lee even after getting Halladay. This is nonsense. Like it or not, the Phils are limited in how much they can spend. They spend much more than they used to, but they don't have the nearly infinite financial resources the Yankees and Red Sox have.

Lee was clearly bound and determined to test the free agent waters after the 2010 season and get a maximum salary in a long-term contract. Outside of a deal similar to, if not more expensive than, the CC Sabathia contract, the Phils weren't going to sign him. So, as great as Lee was after coming from Cleveland, and as exceptional as he was in the 2009 postseason, the Phillies had to do something. Halladay wanted to come here, to be on a team that has won two NL championships and a World Series in the last two years and looks to seriously contend for a few more years. And the Phils' spring training home of Clearwater is close to his home in Florida. The stars were in perfect alignment.

Halladay signed a three-year extension for a lot of money, but an amount the Phils figure they could fit into their budget. Lee was not going to do that. With the other large contracts they have (Cole Hamels, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard) and other players whose salaries will rise in the next year or more (Jayson Werth, Shane Victorino) there is simply no chance that the Phils could keep both Halladay and Lee, as much as the idea of such a dominating one-two punch in the starting rotation is enticing.

In essence, since there was an even exchange of prospects coming and going in these two trades, the Phils got Roy Halladay for the next 4 years, a few months' great work from Cliff Lee, and Ben Francisco for 4 minor leaguers (the number of players the Phils sent to Cleveland to get Lee). All in all, GM Ruben Amaro, Jr. did a fine job.This assessment may have to be adjusted if some of those ten minor leaguers involved in these trades become great major league players, but for now, well done.

My dream, about 6 1/2 months in the making, has come true.

You're welcome.

Quick Review: Brothers

We've seen many movies that in some way deal with our current wars come and go very quickly from the multiplexes. People haven't wanted to watch movies about the military conflicts Iraq or Afghanistan, no matter how good they may be. The latest is "Brothers," in which the siblings in question are played by Tobey Maguire and the super-adorable Jake Gyllenhaal. Maguire plays Sam, a Marine headed back to the war zone for his fourth tour of duty, leaving behind his wife Grace (Natalie Portman) and two young daughters. His brother Tommy (Gyllenhaal) is just out of prison. When Sam's copter crashes and he's presumed dead, Tommy steps up as a father figure to Sam's girls and becomes closer to Grace. Then Sam is rescued and returns home, traumatized from his time as a prisoner, and problems ensue as a result. The biggest problem with this movie is the fact that the trailers told most of the story. I almost didn't bother going to see it. Other than that, it's a solid movie, and it's doing decently at the box office. And did I mention that Jake Gyllenhall is super-adorable? As we see here, he bulked up for his role in the upcoming "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time." In "Brothers" there's one scene where he's wrapped in a towel after showering. Did I mention how super-adorable he is? My grade: B.

Poor, pathetic Chris Brown

It seems that singer/woman-puncher Chris Brown isn't happy that some stores apparently aren't giving his new album prominent displays. He posted on Twitter, according to the EW.com article:

“the[y] didnt even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself,” he wrote in a series of tweets over the weekend. “im tired of this s—. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f— do i gotta do.”
He continued: “im not biting my tongue about sh– else… the industry can kiss my ass.
WTF… yeah i said it and i aint retracting s–”
“we talked to the managers and the didnt even know anything. wow!!! but they had alicia keys album ready for release for this tuesday comin … the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF #GRAFFITI. BS.”

Well, boo-fucking-hoo, Chris Brown. You're too busy trying to rush back into your old life anyway. You shouldn't even be thinking about resuming your career until you've finished off your 180 days of community labor and your year of court-ordered therapy for the felony assault to which you pleaded guilty. The fact that some stores don't want to promote you is your own damn fault. Next time you have a new album coming out, don't beat up a woman beforehand and you won't have a problem.

My Week In Comics 12-9-09

Two books this week, one better than the other, and both featuring family reunions of sorts.

Action Comics 884: Definitely the one I liked more. The most interesting plot featured Lois Lane's being accused of treason and getting tasered by government goons, leading to her being reunited with her father, General Sam Lane, leader of the anti-Kryptonian operation. Seeing as how Lois is, unbeknownst to her father, married to a Kryptonian, it's safe to say that the Lane family has more issues than the family in "Everybody's Fine."

Adventure Comics 5: In the conclusion of the "Blackest Night" tie-in, Superboy-Prime is trying to fight off the Black Lanterns and decides that if he can't survive, before he goes he'll punish those he deems responsible for his plight -- the good folks at DC Comics, of course. There's a happy ending that would be rather lame, but the last panel of the last page hints at this not being the true ending to Prime's "Blackest Night" problem. And in the "second feature," there's another family reunion, that of a girl, her uncle, and a Superboy (not to be confused with Superboy-Prime) partially cloned from his DNA. Again, issues abound, since the uncle in question isn't originally from Krypton.

Quick Review: Everybody's Fine

In "Everybody's Fine," no one really is. Robert DeNiro is a recently-widowed retiree who, when all of his children cancel out on a planned visit, decides to go see them instead. Hopscotching across the country, he finds that when it comes to his kids, all is not as it seems. The acting (Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell and Drew Barrymore as three of the four siblings; the other is almost entirely unseen, for reasons that are explained as the film goes on) is fine, but my eyes were constantly rolling throughout. The movie telegraphs just about everything that's going to happen -- the fate of the missing son, what each of the kids is hiding from dear old Dad, the health scare -- and scenes that are supposed to be tearjerkers failed to get any moisture out of my eyes. And even some of the worst movies have managed to get me a little teary-eyed for a moment in recent years, a fact I am blaming solely on my advancing age. My grade: C-minus.

Quick Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

It's important to point out that if you didn't see the first "Twilight" movie, you'll be pretty lost. I did see the first one, and I liked it enough to see "New Moon," which starts out with the mopey joy of sooooo-in-love vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and his human girlfriend Bella (Kristen Stewart), until trouble erupts at the party Edward's family throws for Bella's 18th birthday. Edward's response is to break up with Bella. So much for love conquering all, eh? Bella is depressed but slowly comes out of it with the help of her friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Then Jacob turns into a werewolf...oh, enough. There was not so much action and way too much moping around compared to the first one, and characters' thought processes (such as what caused Edward to leave Bella) left me thinking that these people are kind of dumb.The so-called "Twi-hards" (is this the best nickname they could come up with?) will eat it all up. The rest of us have to settle for stuff like this...

 

This installment set up the whole "Team Edward" vs "Team Jacob" debate. The next sequel is scheduled for a June 2010 release. I'm not sure I'll pencil it in, though. My grade: C-minus.

On Tiger...and a TMZ guy (Bonus: they're shirtless)

I see and hear comments that people are tired of hearing about Tiger Woods and his big scandal. I'm not tired of it at all, surprisingly. I'm fascinated by it. I don't care so much about why he cheated on his wife because that's sadly commonplace, especially with men -- and especially with rich and famous and handsome men -- but why did he cheat with so many cocktail waitresses and wannabe "reality" TV skanks and "hostesses" and, if what's been reported is true, at least one porn actress? He's Tiger Woods. Can't he afford to find a higher quality of woman?

On the TMZ show the other day one of the TMZ people accidentally came up with a great word to describe the women Tiger's cheated on his wife with: "affairesses." That sounds so much better than "mistresses." They're having so much fun with Tiger on that show it's almost criminal. (Speaking of TMZ...the guy sitting on the car is Max, the guy who came up with "affairesses," if I recall correctly. He is a total surfer/valley boy type, which can be annoying normally, but he says such off-the-wall things sometimes that I kind of have a minor crush on him.)

Back to Tiger Woods. Now that the cat is out of the bag that he's a slut, I wonder if he's going to try and stay married or live openly as a man-whore? Either way his wife is going to get seriously paid -- whether it's in alimony or in "forgive me" gifts, following the strategy Kobe Bryant used on his wife after that little "incident" in Colorado.

And one other obvious point: this is more proof that the institution of marriage is in such pathetic shape that allowing same-sex couples to marry can only make it better, not worse. The ultra-right scum and ultra-religious freaks will never agree publicly, but deep down in their twisted hearts I think they know it's true.

My Week In Comics 12-2-09

...or, The Week of the Living Dead, thanks to two "Blackest Night" tie-ins and another book that I found in the store that became an impulse purchase.

Blackest Night: The Flash 1 (of 3): A fair amount of this book repeats events that took place in the main BN series, and a little bit of what is still taking place in the "Flash: Rebirth" miniseries, which should have been over by now but isn't, thanks to publishing delays. I'm not sure how much that will continue in the rest of this three-parter. Other than that, it's apparently going to feature the Rogues (Flash's enemies) vs. Black Lantern Rogues.

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman 1 (of 3): If this were a one-shot, that would've been fine. Wonder Woman vs. Black Lantern Maxwell Lord (the villain whose neck was snapped by Wonder Woman during the lead-in to "Infinite Crisis") at Arlington National Cemetery -- very well-written. The events at the end of Blackest Night #5 will apparently take precedence in this series as well, though. Still, if I'm buying issue 2 of either of these tie-ins, it'll be more likely this one than the Flash book.

Victorian Undead 1 (of 6): Enough of the Blackest Night pseudo-zombies -- it's time for the real thing! And they're in London -- in 1898! And none other than Sherlock Holmes is on the case! As a big fan of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stories, I'm not sure how I feel about the upcoming movie starring Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law as Holmes and Dr. Watson, but this book feels much more like the Conan Doyle stories. Other than the stuff about zombies, of course.

Superman: World of New Krypton 10 (of 12): This series is almost over. In this issue, a Kryptonian leader has been murdered, and special guest Adam Strange poses a valid (and unanswered question) about the missing suspect: "...it's a planet populated by people with x-ray vision...how is it none of you can find this guy?" Matters not, though, because DC has finally announced what all of this is leading up to in 2010: WAR OF THE SUPERMEN! I'm tingling with anticipation!

Simpsons Winter Wingding 4: A 48-page special featuring stories with a wintry theme. For starters, the Simpsons go green to the extreme -- and whatever happened to Mr. Plow's snowplow?

Flyers, Eagles, Sixers (Yes, Sixers!) Updates

The fun and absurdity continues on the local sports front. And this doesn't include the Phillies' participation in the baseball winter meetings, because there isn't really much going on there...

Having returned from his exile, Allen Iverson finally hit the court for the 76ers on Monday night. He was in the starting lineup, where he'll presumably be for at least a while. He got a huge ovation when introduced, and kissed the Sixers logo painted on center court. He scored 11 points in 37 minutes. It was a huge success, as they sold out the building and the crowd got to adore their hero. Not that the people cared, apparently, and not that management cares, because they finally sold some tickets, but the Sixers lost -- for the 10th game in a row.

Speaking of returning from exile, Michael Vick returned to Atlanta on Sunday, and the Eagles' afternoon was interesting. I expected it to be pretty close, since both teams were missing key players due to injury, but the Falcons were just awful. For a while it was close (13-0 at the half) because of some lingering Eagles ineptitude, but the game turned on the Eagles' goal-line stand at the end of the first half. The Falcons had 2nd-and-goal from the 1, tried to run it in on 2nd, 3rd and 4th down and were stopped each time. The second half the Eagles became more efficient, and they went on to a 34-7 win, with Atlanta not scoring until the final play of the game with the Eagles' defensive starters out.

Two of the second-half scores came from Vick -- a 5-yard run that made it 20-0 in the 3rd quarter, and then a TD pass that made it 34-0 in the 4th quarter. They were his first scores since getting out of jail. As for his reception from the fans, on both TV and radio (I was monitoring both) it sounded like a lot more boos than cheers the first time he entered the game. But when he ran for his score, and especially when he threw for the touchdown, it was mostly cheers. I don't know how much of that was Atlanta fans. The camera shots of the stands seemed to show quite a lot of Eagles fans in attendance from the start. I'd say that when it got to 27-0 the Falcons fans either started cheering for Vick or just left.

The win puts the Eagles (8-4) back into a first-place tie with Dallas, thanks to the Cowboys' loss to the Giants (7-5). The Eagles visit the Giants next week, and if they win I'd say the playoffs are pretty much a guarantee.

No such guarantee exists for the Flyers. Their first two games since firing head coach John Stevens ended in defeat, making it 9 losses in the last 10. Saturday night against Washington, new coach Peter Laviolette had to be wondering what he got himself into. With the score 1-1 in the latter part of the first period, Flyer Dan Carcillo (I'd call him a goon but really he's more of an idiot than the typical NHL fighter) managed to get 29 minutes in penalties and give Washington a 9-minute power play. The Capitals scored 3 times in that span and rolled to an easy 8-2 win.

Last night, in Montreal, the Flyers managed to hold the Canadiens to just 13 shots on goal in the entire game -- only one in the first 25:51. But Montreal managed to score 3 times on their 13 shots, and held the Flyers to just 15 shots of their own, gaining a 3-1 win.

Tonight, however, the Flyers actually managed to win! The 6-2 victory came over the New York Islanders -- the only team the Flyers beat in the previous 10 games. Unfortunately, there are two problems. One, with so many games on the schedule right now (4 games a week for a couple of weeks) there is little practice time available for the new coach to put his systems into effect. Two, the next nine games are against teams other than the Islanders.

Oh, make that three problems: goalie Ray Emery is having surgery to repair a torn abdominal muscle and will likely be out for 6 weeks. Oh, make it four problems: he's had the problem since November and has been playing with it, with the Flyers' knowledge. They've been trying to treat it without surgery until now. Considering how this team has had a number of players with similar abdominal and groin problems in recent years, I'm amazed Emery wasn't shut down sooner. I think it was irresponsible of the Flyers to let him keep playing.

Merry Christmas from Lady Gaga!

This photo of Lady Gaga was taken in London after a show called Capital FM's Jingle Bell Ball -- I assume Capital FM is a radio station, and the Jingle Bell Ball featured multiple artists, because that's what shows like this in the USA feature. The antlers are a nice touch, no?

Amazon.com has a "25 Days Of Free" promotion -- each day until Christmas there's a free download of a holiday tune. Yesterday's song was "Christmas Tree" by Lady Gaga featuring Space Cowboy. Download it here. If you love Gaga you'll love the song, but if you're more of the traditional Christmas music type, you might not enjoy it. You can listen to the entire track in the YouTube clip below -- there's no actual video, only lyrics.

Post-Thanksgiving coach curse hits Flyers' Stevens

An interesting trend has developed in recent years involving the Flyers' annual day-after-Thanksgiving matinee home games: one of the teams playing the game has fired their head coach for 4 years in a row.

In 2006 the Columbus Blue Jackets fired coach Gerard Gallant and eventually replaced him with former Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock, who made his Columbus debut at the Wachovia Center the day after Thanksgiving. The next year the Washington Capitals fired their head coach, Glen Hanlon, and Bruce Boudreau took over -- against the Flyers, the day after Thanksgiving.

Slightly going against the tide, last year the Carolina Hurricanes faced the Flyers in the Black Friday afternoon game, but they actually waited until December to fire coach Peter Laviolette.

This year's post-Thanksgiving game featured the Flyers and Buffalo Sabres, but in a twist, it wasn't the Sabres firing their coach. Instead, it was the Flyers, who fired John Stevens today -- and in another twist, Laviolette has taken his place.

Stevens seemed to be a promising choice at first. He coached the AHL Phantoms to a championship in 2004-05, and a number of players from that team have been Flyers since then. However, despite one strong run to the Eastern Conference finals, the team has been maddeningly inconsistent, as I mentioned last night. This year, with the additions of Chris Pronger and Ray Emery to a team that already had players like Mike Richards and Jeff Carter, expectations for a Stanley Cup run were very high. But the hot and cold streaks have kept this team from living up to their hype.

Last night, after their dismal 3-0 loss to Vancouver, I wrote the following about the Flyers' recent stretch: "This is the type of thing that should get a coach fired. The sooner it happens, the better off the Flyers will be." It should be noted that another highly-touted team, Pittsburgh, struggled mightily for a good part of last year. The Penguins then made a coaching change and promptly won the Stanley Cup. And Laviolette won a Cup with Carolina in 2005-06. So, less than 24 hours after I wrote that, the Flyers are instantly better off. I wish I had such power over other matters.

No answers for Flyers either

While the 76ers have taken center stage in the last few days, the other tenant of the Wachovia Center needs some attention. The Flyers' season has gone like this: 3 wins in a row, then 0-2-1, then 2 wins, then 2 losses, then a stretch of 7 wins in 8 games, and now their current stretch of 6 losses in 7 games, including being shut out in two consecutive games.

What's worse is that they've been this inconsistent pretty much since John Stevens took over as coach, and it hasn't improved. They have injuries, but not to their most important players. This week there's been talk about the team's leadership. Tonight's game against Vancouver was looked at as almost a must-win game, but a 3-0 loss to a Canucks team that played a tough game last night while the Flyers had 4 days' rest leaves the Flyers in 10th place in the Eastern Conference. If the season ended right now, besides the lost revenue from so many unplayed games, the Flyers would miss the playoffs.

Even worse are these comments by the Vancouver TV announcers during tonight's game (as posted to a Flyers' message board): "Un-Flyer-like...No puck support...The players look like they are playing in isolation, not as a team...There's no passion, no emotion, on that [Flyers'] bench...I'm surprised it took the fans this long [third period] to start booing...Under Stevens, this [Flyers] team is only consistent in being inconsistent...This [Flyers] team is too talented to play like this."

This is the type of thing that should get a coach fired. The sooner it happens, the better off the Flyers will be.

Is The Answer really the answer for 76ers?

You may have heard that the 76ers have signed Allen Iverson to a contract. The same 76ers who told him to stay home before trading him to Denver in 2006, having tired of a decade of drama -- the "We're talkin' about practice!" rant, the ball-hogging, the clashing with coaches, the occasional off-court incident -- now have decided to bring him back.

Iverson provided a lot of excitement over the years to go along with that drama, but he's now 34 years old. From all reports he isn't quite at the elite level he once was. He still thinks he is, however. That's why he ended up unemployed and temporarily retired after dismal stints in Detroit and Memphis (the latter lasting three games), as those teams wouldn't give him the amount of playing time he felt he deserved.

In his press conference today Iverson said all the right things, such as "All I told (GM Ed Stefanski) was give me an assignment and I will help you win basketball games." But when he hits the court, will those words be forgotten? What happens when guard Lou Williams, out eight weeks with a broken jaw and whose absence is ostensibly the reason the Sixers signed Iverson, returns? The Sixers have been emphasizing giving their young players experience in order to become a better team in the long run. Will Iverson accept playing fewer minutes? He hasn't the last two years.

And with a team who, under new head coach Eddie Jordan, is still trying to learn to play the Princeton offense, an offense that requires lots of passing, how is Iverson going to fit in? He's never been known for spreading the ball around. What happens if Jordan sits Iverson for longer stretches because he doesn't fit the system? Or, worse, what if Jordan revises the system to fit Iverson's needs?

I don't really see this working. To me, there is only one valid reason to bring back "The Answer," and if the Sixers were honest they'd admit it: they want to sell tickets. The team is 5-14, they've lost 8 in a row, and they're next-to-last in the entire NBA in attendance. They've been an afterthought in the minds of the sports public. But since word first broke that they were interested in Iverson, suddenly they're garnering a lot more pages of coverage in the papers and many more calls on sports talk radio (not to mention getting me to write all of this -- I hardly ever watch the NBA).

And the excitement provided by "The Answer" on the court in his first stint here has seemingly made a lot of fans nostalgic. Reports are that tickets are selling fast for their home games next week, when Iverson is expected to make his debut.

The problem is, historically the 76ers have not had as loyal a fan base as the Eagles and Flyers. If they're not winning they have trouble drawing big crowds. Even with Iverson, when the Sixers struggled after their peak of reaching the 2001 NBA Finals, attendance started to drop. Barring a miracle, bringing back Allen Iverson is a temporary solution -- both on the court and at the box office.

Joe Millionaire: Most-Watched TV? Really?

One of these things is not like the other...this is a list of the top 10 TV episodes of the decade.

1. Friends, “The Last One,” May 6, 2004 — 52.5 million
2. Survivor: Borneo, “Season Finale,” Aug. 23, 2000 — 51.7 million
3. Joe Millionaire, “Season Finale,” Feb. 17, 2003 — 40 million
4. ER, “All in the Family,” Feb. 17, 2000 — 39.4 million
5. American Idol, “Minneapolis Auditions,” Jan. 16, 2007 — 38.1 million
6. Grey’s Anatomy, “It’s the End of the World,” Feb. 5, 2006 — 38 million
7. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, May 3, 2000 — 36 million
8. Frasier, “Something Borrowed, Someone Blue,” May 18, 2000 — 33.7 million
9. Everybody Loves Raymond, “The Finale,” May 16, 2005 — 32.9 million
10. Spin City, “Goodbye,” May 24, 2000 — 32.8 million

The "Joe Millionaire" entry just sticks out like a sore thumb, doesn't it? You didn't think "reality" TV could get worse in 7 years, did you? And whatever happened to that Evan Marriott guy, anyway? Gay-for-pay porn? Country music singer? Ballpark hot dog vendor? Judging from the picture, I'm guessing porn...

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 12-2-09

It scares me a bit that iTunes added a Christmas song to the mix just because I re-selected my holiday music to add it to my iPod. It's as if iTunes knows it's December or something! There's also a bit of a Motown trend, which doesn't scare me at all.

Right In The Middle (Of Falling In Love) - Bettye Lavette
Can't Get Enough Of You Baby - Smash Mouth
Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor
Fame - Eurythmics
Take Me Home (Rap) - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam
Surrender - Diana Ross
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (Frisco Disco Mix) - Sandra Bernhard
Remember Why (It's Christmas) - Alexander O'Neal
Got To Give It Up (Pt. 1) - Marvin Gaye
Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder
Sweetmeat - The Soup Dragons
Dedicated To The One I Love - The Mamas & The Papas
Who Will Save Your Soul - Jewel

My Week In Comics 11-25-09

I've got eight books to write about. This is a bit much. I'm going to try something: writing just one pertinent sentence about each one.

Superman 694: Mon-El returns to Metropolis with a new uniform, new way of talking...and a new attitude!

World's Finest 2 (of 4): The Guardian and Robin take on Parasite and Mr. Freeze, and the new Robin is just as much a snot-nosed punk in this book as he is in the Batman books.

(Hmmmm...I kinda like this one-sentence deal...)

Detective Comics 859: Continuing Batwoman's origin story, this issue features lots of girl-on-girl action and the disgrace of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell military policy -- with gay activist Lt. Dan Choi getting a credit for "his generous assistance in research for this issue." Presumably not on the parts featuring girl-on-girl action.

(Dammit, that's two sentences! Curse my snarky attitude!)

Green Lantern 48: There's a note at the start that says "This takes place before Blackest Night #6," which is odd, because it also takes place before Blackest Night #5, which came out the same day...

Blackest Night 5 (of 8):...and sees the battle get worse as Batman's skull temporarily gets a body and a Black Lantern ring, leading to Superman and a bunch of other previously-dead heroes transformed, and not in a good way.

(There, one sentence for two books! I'm back on track!)

Superman: Secret Origin 3 (0f 6): This new version of the arrival of Clark Kent in Metropolis (which is grittier and a tad meaner than it's usually depicted, with a Daily Planet that is in pretty sad shape) manages to not quite feel right and at the same time borrow from the first Christopher Reeve "Superman" movie.

Gotham City Sirens 6: The girls finally dispose of ex-Joker henchman Gagsworth A. Gagsworthy, a.k.a. Gaggy(!?!), with the help of their carpenter and, in Harley Quinn's case, knowledge gleaned from Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Futurama Comics 46: Planet Express delivers a package and wacky adventures occur...and occur...and occur...it's like it's a book-length Möbius (comic) strip.

Quick Review: Fantastic Mr. Fox

The title character in "Fantastic Mr. Fox," the stop-motion animated film based on the book by Roald Dahl, is voiced by George Clooney. It's a brilliant bit of casting. As much as possible with an animated movie, George Clooney was born to play Mr. Fox, who retires from raiding chicken farms at the behest of his pregnant wife -- only to be tempted to go for a big score when, later, the family moves into a tree close to the huge Boggis, Bunce and Bean farms. Meryl Streep plays Mrs. Fox, and she's good in everything, of course. Also in the film are Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman -- not exactly a cast of unknowns. Funny, charming and smart, this is another animated film that kids and adults alike can enjoy. It pretty much lives up to its title. My grade: A.

Another friendly reminder: at this link you'll find the list of grades for all the movies I've seen in 2009 (Good grief, I'll have to start one for the new year soon!)

Quick Review: The Blind Side

One thing that I tend to wonder about when I watch a movie that's based on a true story is how much artistic license was taken when transforming the story into a film. "The Blind Side" is based on a book of the same name by Michael Lewis ("Moneyball") and tells the story of Michael Oher's journey from poverty to rich NFL player. Some of what is depicted in the movie (such as Oher's "younger brother" taking charge of Oher's football drills and dealing with the college coaches out to recruit Oher to their school) had me wondering a lot. It didn't really ring true. However, the essence of the story -- about Oher's being accepted into a private Christian school in Memphis despite a very poor track record in his previous schools, being taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy and eventually becoming a star high school and college football player en route to the NFL -- holds together. Sandra Bullock dominates the movie as Leigh Anne. It's a change of pace from her many romantic-comedy roles, and she does an excellent job. Bullock and Tim McGraw, as Sean, make a good on-screen couple. If you're not a sports nut like I am, there's not a terrible amount of football action so don't let that keep you away. My grade: B.

Technical TV Question

I'm watching a hockey game between Chicago and Columbus. (Columbus is coached by Ken Hitchcock, who used to coach the Flyers and is sorely missed at the Wachovia Center right now, but that's another story.) The game is being shown on Versus. During a commercial, I flipped over to the NHL Network to check out "NHL On The Fly," their nightly highlights and analysis show. During the show, they do live cut-ins to hockey telecasts around the league. After a moment, they happened to do a cut-in to the Versus telecast.

So I flipped back and forth a bit to compare, and that leads to my question: why is the Versus picture quality so much better on the NHL Network than it is on Versus itself??? The picture on the NHL Network is brighter, sharper and clearer. Versus is owned by Comcast, which is about to close out a deal to buy NBC Universal, making them even more of a major player in the TV industry than they are now. They paid the NHL to show games on Versus as part of a strategy to challenge ESPN for TV sports supremacy. That hasn't happened. Maybe one reason is picture quality?

Well, not really. I just think the picture should look better.