Simpsons Already Did It (GOP Version)

Wow, Republicans, not only are you about 70 years behind the rest of us philosophically, but you're even 10 years behind South Park...

Quick Reviews: Sparkle, Hit and Run

So it appears I'm not being called back to my job in September, or any time soon, as the state is cutting back on the number of temporary employees for the heating assistance program. With things being less busy on weekday afternoons at the movie theaters as kids go back to school, I could make an effort to see more movies than I have been this year and not have to worry about crowds. Of course, Hollywood will have to make more movies that interest me enough to go more often.

"Sparkle" primarily interested me because it's a remake of a movie from 1976 that was said to have been inspired by the story of Diana Ross and the Supremes. So I expected its plot to have a lot of similarity to "Dreamgirls," but was surprised by how much it was not like the saga of the Supremes (other than there being a singing group comprised of three young women). There was a lot more melodrama (although, based on the Wikipedia entry for the original, not quite as much as there used to be) in the story of Sparkle (Jordin Sparks), who is a songwriter but doesn't have the confidence to be a solo act. She and her sisters (Carmen Ejogo and Tika Sumpter) form a group that looks to be on the way to stardom despite the disapproval of their mother (Whitney Houston) until an abusive husband and an addiction to drugs get in the way. Despite the plot machinations, this was almost a very good film. But Sparks just isn't commanding enough to be the superstar that Sparkle is supposed to become. Ejogo is the real star of the three sisters in the group. And seeing Whitney Houston perform the gospel hymn "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" made me sad, because we can only imagine how it would have sounded had she been in her prime, before her own addictions and bad marriage set her on a path to her untimely death. My grade: C-plus.

I was surprised at how much I liked "Hit and Run." It's the story of a former bank robbery getaway driver (Dax Shepard) who leaves Witness Protection to drive his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) to Los Angeles for an important job interview, which puts them both in jeopardy of being killed by his old bank-robbing pals (including Bradley Cooper) thanks to her ex-boyfriend's jealousy. At first I cringed at the arrival of the most inept U.S. Marshal in history (Tom Arnold), but even his character became tolerable after a while. And there's quite a bit of pro-gay stuff, despite the jokes about prison rape (which you see, in a censored version, in the movie's trailer). There's a gay cop who uses an app called Pouncer -- not Grindr, Pouncer (or maybe it's spelled Pouncr?) -- and learns of the homosexuality of another character, and a discussion about the use of the word "fag" for someone who's "lame." Kristin Chenoweth has a fun supporting role, and Bell and Shepard, a real-life couple who, according to Wikipedia, refuse to get married until same-sex marriage is again legal in California, have a sweet chemistry. This movie didn't drum up much box office but deserves a better fate. My grade: B-plus.

DN Sexy Singles '12: More Eagles, Less Single, No LGBT (Again)

I said last year that I think the annual Daily News Sexy Singles feature had jumped the shark. Well, two weeks ago this year's collection arrived, and my mind hasn't changed.

For the second year in a row, the count of singles was down to 20, although this year they did have a Sexy Singles party. The list is dominated, as usual, by models and people who are at least slightly well-known. Four people work in local TV or radio. One is best known for a stint on a "reality" TV show called "Bad Girls Club." There are four models, one of whom is the daughter of Kathy Sledge of "Sister Sledge" fame. (Two others, to be fair, are only part-time models.)

Also on the list is the woman whose ex-husband recently sued her for a share of her ginormous shoe collection and two people who have jobs in government that I'm guessing aren't civil service jobs (chief of staff for a state representative and a manager in a division of the Parking Authority -- heh heh heh, bet that makes her really popular).

And hey, the Eagles are back! And with a former NFL player also in the group, last year's NFL representation is tripled! The Eagles on the Sexy Singles team are both cornerbacks: Trevard Lindley and Curtis Marsh. Marsh is pictured here, in one of the pics from the newspaper. Very fine, I must say. The ex-NFL player didn't play for the Eagles -- and oddly enough, the profile says: "Don't email him just yet, though, ladies," because he's in a relationship. In other words: he's not really single.

That leaves five people that I classified as "regular" people, and even some of

Pondering A Blog Idea...

This is kind of vague but if you have any opinions or feedback I'd love to hear it.

I have an idea for a series of blog posts, or perhaps an entirely new site. I'm not sure how I want to go with this. If I follow through, it will be controversial because of my choice of words...well, word, to be exact. It wouldn't be, shall we say, politically correct. But I really feel it's the best way, if not the only way, to truly make my point on the subject matter. It would offend some people, and I'm a little conflicted about it.

I wonder, though, if I do it on here, or on another Blogger site, or some other free site, will I violate the Google (or some other company) terms of service? I never read these things closely, but then I never do anything which would violate them so it's not a big deal. But I don't want my blog removed or blocked or whatever by Big Brother.

Thoughts?

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 8-22-12

I'd love to know how the iTunes shuffle works. How exactly does it choose a song? Is it strictly random or is there some sort of pattern? At times, when it plays consecutive songs by the same artist or from the same album I'm especially curious. That didn't happen this time, though...

Lucky - Greg Kihn Band
Inner City Theme - Inner City
Quit Playing Games (With My Heart) - Backstreet Boys
Easier Said Than Done - Loose Ends
Your Love Keeps Working On Me (MK Brooklyn Mix) - Jody Watley
Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen
Footsteps - Lisa Stansfield
Sing (Harry Choo Choo Romero Club Mix) - Annie Lennox
You're Not Alone - Olive
Stay (Wasting Time) - Dave Matthews Band
This Old Heart of Mine (Is Weak For You) - The Isley Brothers
Lady, Lady, Lady - Joe Esposito
Lullaby of Clubland - Everything But The Girl

Quick Reviews: Bourne Legacy, ParaNorman

There's an inspired line of thinking in this article I came across the other day. It discusses the Simpsons episode where the "Itchy and Scratchy" studio, trying to reinvigorate the ratings of their tired cartoon, introduce a new character: Poochie, the rapping dog (voiced by Homer). Poochie is an amalgam of test-marketed "hip" cliches. The first "Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie" show gets tons of eyeballs, but everyone (except Homer) hates it. The studio ends the Poochie experiment quickly.

The article points out that Hollywood has taken the "Poochie" strategy to heart. Desperate to keep franchises alive, new (or sort of new) characters have been introduced in the most recent "Indiana Jones" and "Men in Black" sequels, and even a plot twist at the end of "The Dark Knight Rises" can be seen as an introduction of such a character for future films, although since Christopher Nolan is done with Batman, it's not too likely that anyone will follow up on that particular twist. But the article's prime example is the just-released "The Bourne Legacy," in which we learn that there's more than one black ops program in which super-soldiers were created. This is convenient because there's no Jason Bourne to hunt down, as Matt Damon refused to sign on for another sequel. So we have Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross, who has to take pills to enhance his physical and mental abilities, on the run after Bourne's actions lead to the elimination of Cross's program -- and his life, if he's caught. The movie looks less jittery but is more confusing and generic, despite Renner's best efforts. And they still had the nerve to use that same Moby song at the end. My grade: C-minus.

On a brighter note, despite being somewhat darker in tone than the trailers led us to believe, is the animated (and 3D) "ParaNorman," which ostensibly is about a kid who talks to dead people, and has to use this ability to save his town from an ancient curse. Yet, while there's all that, and a good amount of humor, at its heart it's really an anti-bullying, we-should-embrace-our-differences movie. Whether it's the witch whose death leads to the curse, or Norman himself, seen as a weirdo because, to everyone else, he's talking to himself, the bullying angle is prominent. The film works on pretty much all levels, though, except for that 3D crap. I really dislike 3D. Wearing 3D glasses over my glasses is not particularly comfortable. 3D is not necessary except in rare cases -- the only film I've seen where the 3D really impressed me was "Avatar," which had other problems, such as plot silliness -- and it's mainly a way for the studios to make more money. My grade: A-minus.

Bastille Day Festival 2012

Another bunch of pictures for you to peruse. These are from the annual Bastille Day Festival held at Eastern State Penitentiary. For you out-of-towners, it's not actually operating as a prison now. It's a tourist attraction. Al Capone was once locked up there. Every Halloween they operate a popular haunted house-style tour. And every July there's Bastille Day. This was the first time I checked out the festival and it was apparently revised some this year, so I can't compare it to other years, but it's fun. Essentially, it's a show featuring comedy, song and dance performed by the Bearded Ladies Cabaret, telling the story of the French Revolution (taking many liberties with said story, naturally).

The star of the show was Edith Piaf (who actually lived in the 20th century; I told you, they took liberties with the story). I got there in time to see a pre-show rehearsal, and I kind of developed a little crush on this guy. It's the weirdest thing. Men in heels usually don't do it for me.

I took lots of pictures, which are located here. I also took some video, which is after the jump...

Quick Reviews: The Totally Brave Campaign Edition

So I got to three more movies in the last week and a half. One of them was even before noon, allowing me to pay the $5.00 discounted price. See? Some days I do get out of bed at a decent hour.

Brave: Another winner from Pixar. (They pretty much all are, I know. I even liked "Cars" when I finally saw it  -- on TV, not in a theater. "Cars 2" I haven't seen, and haven't heard many good things about, so...) A first for Pixar: a female protagonist, Merida, teenage daughter of a Scottish king who wants to find her own destiny instead of settling for being betrothed to a son of another Scottish clan leaders, causing a great bit of consternation between Merida and her mother. Merida encounters a witch who offers her a spell that will help in the matter. When I read that, I expected one plot twist and, instead, got another one entirely, and one that, in hindsight, was more predictable. But that's my fault. My grade: A-minus.

Total Recall: Colin Farrell is lust-worthy, as always. The rest is pretty mindless, and almost completely different from the original, which I totally recall (heh) as being fun, though I haven't seen it in ages. This could have used a lot more of that fun. My grade: C-minus.

The Campaign: Will Ferrell is a congressman, and not a very good one, who expects to once again run unopposed in his North Carolina district, until he suddenly gets an opponent (Zach Galifianakas). The biggest thing the movie has going for it is it made me laugh a lot. It has some things to say about our current political state of affairs, but the events are so broad as to be totally unrealistic. Then again, considering some of what's going on in this country right now, it seems like a documentary by comparison. My grade: B.

Hashtag NBCFAIL

I have so much to write about that I'm backlogged again. Let's see: two movies, my recent trip to New York (seeing Ricky Martin in Evita, seeing the new Yankee Stadium, etc.), I bought some comic books that aren't Simpsons or Futurama, posting my photos and videos from Bastille Day at Eastern State, not to mention the latest crop of Daily News Sexy Singles.

So why am I writing about NBC?

First, they've made me lose interest in the Summer Olympics. Between the chopped-up tape-delayed events, the near-constant athlete profiles and inane features, the mere presence of Ryan Seacrest, the butchering of the Opening Ceremony, their massive hype about having so many events live online (some of the biggest events weren't actually available online and there have been quite a few complaints about screens freezing and lots of buffering -- and besides, I personally don't want to watch sports on a computer, I WANT TO WATCH THEM ON MY HIGH-DEFINITION TELEVISION), and above all, their arrogant insistence that critics of their coverage must be wrong because the TV ratings are so high, when I actually do have the Olympics on, it's mostly just in the background with me barely paying attention.

(By the way, Blogger doesn't let me put a pound sign in a post title, which is why this post isn't called  #NBCFAIL. I think that's a #BloggerFAIL, to be honest. Or a #GoogleFAIL, since they own it.)

But that's not all.