If you read only one blog full of ranting and raving about sports (local and otherwise), movies, TV shows, miscellaneous pop culture, life and other assorted flotsam and jetsam, make it this one!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Quick Review: Taking Woodstock

Like, groovy. Or something. Since I was 7 years old during Woodstock, all I know about it is what I've seen, read and heard since I grew up. "Taking Woodstock" was only mildly interesting. It's about how the festival ended up being held at Max Yasgur's farm in Bethel, NY. Demetri Martin plays Elliot Tiber (Teichberg at the time, before a name change), whose parents owned the El Monaco Motel. Elliot gave his permit for a musical festival to the Woodstock organizers after the town of Wallkill banned the concert. Martin's mainly known for his work on Comedy Central. He's not an experienced actor and it shows. He's sort of blandly earnest. Unfortunately, he's the lead, so he needs to be more than that. The rest of the actors are better, however. One other thing is missing: we see the town before "Hurricane Woodstock" struck, we see the massive crowds of hippies and the traffic jam on the New York State Thruway and the rain and the mud...but the stage itself is only shown from a loooooooooong distance, and none of the performers are seen or heard. I'm sure that using actual or re-created performances would've cost a lot, but wasn't the music sort of the point of the whole thing? My grade: B-minus.

Reminder:
my grades for all the movies I've seen in 2009 can be found here.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Phils enter September with a cushion

Outside of the two-loss glitch in Pittsburgh the Phillies continue to maintain their winning ways. They're doing just enough to win, but they'll have a 7 1/2-game lead in the NL East when they begin a series with the Giants on Tuesday (the Braves and Marlins are both 8 out right now, and they play each other tomorrow). They still have issues, though.

For one, the Phils still don't really know what they have in Pedro Martinez. He's started four games. In two he got wins but looked shaky at times, in part because the offense had long innings that kept him on the bench for longer than usual. In the other two rain delays caused his removal early. They'll have to figure out whether he's going to be reliable enough to stay in the rotation or if they'd be better off with Jamie Moyer (who relieved Martinez after both rain delays and pitched very well).

Other pitching dilemmas may or may not be getting sorted out. Brad Lidge got a pair of saves this weekend against Atlanta, both with 1-2-3 ninth innings. He needs to string together a bunch of these to show he's truly ended his struggles. Cole Hamels pitched 8 scoreless innings in his last start. Again, he needs to become consistent.

Some of the htters (both in the lineup and on the bench) are also struggling. Raul Ibanez has slumped badly since returning from the disabled list just before the All-Star break. Offensively he looks more like Pat Burrell right now. Pinch-hitting has become a weakness -- Matt Stairs is now 0 for his last 27 at-bats. The Phils are at times having their usual difficulties with runners in scoring position. They need to be able to manufacture some runs now and then when the home runs aren't flying out.

There is still time for the Phils to resolve these issues, but not a whole lot. Fortunately, their lead gives them some leeway. On the other hand, they only need to look at the Mets to see what can happen to September leads.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Need info from Temple people/Daily News readers

One bad thing about being out of town is that I miss reading my newspaper. Sure, I can read it online, but it's more time-consuming if I want to read everything I normally read. And not every single part of the paper may go up on the website.

So I really, really, really am curious as to what this item in today's Philadelphia Daily News is referring to...

OUR APOLOGIES

A headline above a photo on Page 4 of yesterday's Daily News regarding move-in day at Temple University was totally inappropriate. The Daily News apologizes to the student, her family, the university and our readers.

Seriously, someone who saw the paper yesterday or someone from Temple (because I imagine there was some uproar from the campus and/or from alumni) needs to enlighten me. What was in the photo and what did the headline say?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Week In Comics: 8-26-09

So I'm going to Baltimore for a couple of days. There's a function where I can schedule a post to be published at a certain time. If it works properly, this will post Thursday night. If not, well, either you'll see it right away or you won't see it until I return from Baltimore. Anyway, six books this week. The more books I buy, the harder it is to keep up with these weekly updates.

Superman 691, Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen Special 2: Finishing off the "Codename: Patriot" story and setting up the next stage in the overall plot, the events in these books find General Lane now out in the open and feeling very good about his plans, while things look dire indeed for Superman and the various other stars in the Super-books -- and especially for Jimmy Olsen.
Gotham City Sirens 3: A very odd thing for a series that's three issues old: the stars of the book -- Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn -- are each in it for one page (and Harley's only seen on a TV monitor). Still a good read, though. The story focuses on The Riddler, Edward Nigma, who now is (or seems to be) solving crimes instead of committing them. Both Nigma and the new Batman are looking into a pair of peculiar suicides of prominent citizens, and Nigma quickly deduces that there's someone else wearing the cape and cowl.

Green Lantern 45: Continuing with "Blackest Night" but focusing on events occurring elsewhere in the universe with some of the other-color ring corps. Owing to my lack of familiarity with much of the backstory, it didn't hold my interest very much. I'll be careful to sample this book in the store before buying it in the future.

Detective Comics 856: So did I mention that Batwoman is now a lesbian? In case it was hard to figure out, in this book Kate Kane, after getting some unexpected assistance in escaping the clutches of Alice and the Cult of Crime, shows up at the Gotham City Police Department's Charity Ball. Wearing a tuxedo. And she meets Maggie Sawyer, captain of Gotham's Major Crimes Unit. Also wearing a tux. And guess what? Maggie's single again, since her partner stayed in Metropolis when Maggie moved to Gotham. Woo-hoo!

The Flash: Rebirth 4 (of 6): Long-dead, Barry Allen returned in "Final Crisis," and this miniseries is his official coming-out (no, not that kind of "coming out"), even though he's currently involved in "Blackest Night." As with some other books, there's been a bit of a delay in issues hitting the stores, making it a little more difficult to remember what happened previously. I can't help but think I should hold off on some of these and wait for the trade paperback, so I can read it all at once.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

"Bones" actor on his bipolar disorder

There are many TV shows -- especially now that there are so many new programs on cable -- that I've never watched. With me, it's hit-or-miss as to whether I'll give a new show a chance. Something needs to hook me, and it's unpredictable as to what that something has to be. It may be a particular actor, although that's not a hard rule -- some actors in shows I loved moved on to other projects, and moved on without me. Or, the show features a gay character or storyline, although again, not always. Sometimes it's just a clever promo from the network. In the case of the Fox show Bones it was "Eric Millegan's NBA Trash Talk."

Bones debuted in September 2005, but at the time I wasn't hooked. Then, last fall, I stumbled upon some YouTube videos in which Eric Millegan talked about the NBA and his favorite team, the Portland Trail Blazers. I can't even remember how I found them, and I'm not really into the NBA, but I thought they were lots of fun. Each one starts with his vocal rendition of the old "NBA on NBC" theme (which was composed by John Tesh). Once I found out that Eric was openly gay (and was named “Hottest Up-and-Coming Openly Gay Actor of 2003” by Out magazine) I figured it was a perfect fit for the Outsports blog, so I wrote my piece. That eventually led to Eric's appearance on an Outsports podcast.

It also gave me my Bones hook. Eric was a regular on the series for the first three years and has made a couple of guest appearances since. He played Dr. Zack Addy, one of the team of forensic anthropologists working with an FBI special agent (played by Philly's own David Boreanaz). I watched some reruns of on TNT during a New Year's Day marathon, and then started watching the new episodes on Fox. Eventually I caught up on the entire series.

Recently, Eric posted two new YouTube videos -- not about the NBA, but about his bipolar disorder. He was first diagnosed about four years ago, but says he had suffered from the disorder for a time before that. He discusses how it affected him, times when he felt suicidal (although he never attempted to kill himself), and how supportive his family, friends, co-workers and bosses at Bones, etc. have been. He takes some medications to treat it and also sees a therapist and a psychiatrist, and says he has been doing very well for upwards of a year and a half.

Imagine how difficult it is -- not just for people with this condition but for their family and friends, who see their loved ones acting differently (my first thought was to say "acting weird" but...) struggling, in pain, and aren't sure how to help, or even what to say to them. Then there's the health-care system in this country. Imagine how many people aren't properly treated because their coverage is subpar, or because they don't have any coverage at all.

As a fan of Bones -- and of Eric's NBA Trash Talk, let's not forget -- I'm so glad that he's doing so well now. That's basically what I want for anyone -- actors, musicians, athletes, etc. -- who entertains me so much. They make me feel good through their work, so I want them to be happy and have a good life, whether their careers are enormously successful or they're just a one-hit wonder.

In the second video Eric said that he wanted to tell his story so that others who are bipolar can draw some inspiration from it. So watch the videos, pass the links on...actually, pass on the link to this blog, because I am not above shameless self-promotion...and spread the word.



Phillies' bullpen pain

Yes, I know that the Phillies still lead the NL East by 7 games, and that Ryan Howard is bombing opposing pitchers right now (9 HR, 25 RBI in the last 13 games). But unless they find a pitcher who can reliably close out a tight game, how are they going to repeat as champions? Their last two games in Pittsburgh both featured blown saves. Last night it took Brad Lidge just 6 pitches to give up 3 runs and blow a 4-3 lead in the 9th. Tonight, since Lidge had pitched 4 days in a row, Ryan Madson came into the 9th with a 1-0 lead and promptly served up a game-tying homer.

Howard's 3-run homer in the 10th saved the Phils tonight, but someone has to come in and close games. Lidge has been horrendous all year, even if he was bailed out by the Eric Bruntlett legendary unassisted triple play on Monday. Madson was throwing hard -- 99 mph according to the TV graphic -- but decided he needed to throw a changeup to Brandon Moss of the Pirates tonight, and the slower pitch was sent over the fence. And Madson's failed a number of times filling in as the closer this year, even though he's generally pitched well in games in which he's pitched the 7th or 8th innings. In theory, pitching in the 9th shouldn't be any different than pitching in any other inning. Tell that to Madson's psyche.

The hope here is that Brett Myers comes back in September and takes the job away from Lidge. Myers was successful in the role in 2007. From all reports on his rehab appearances he's throwing harder than he has since that season, thanks to the hip surgery.

A piece of good news, at least until his next start: Cole Hamels pitched 8 shutout innings tonight, managing to get out of trouble a number of times.

After tomorrow's final game in Pittsburgh the Phils are back home against Atlanta, as the Braves try and stay alive in the division.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Week In Comics: 8-19-09

Okay, so I had to re-title this, since tomorrow I'll be back to the store for a new book or five. At least I came up with something permanent, instead of calling it "This week's..." or "Last week's..."

Blackest Night: Superman 1 (of 3): This tie-in to the "Blackest Night" event is probably the best of any of the BN books I've picked up. It's a success on all levels. The latest Black Lantern to be introduced is Kal-L, the Superman of Earth-2, who died during "Infinite Crisis." It plays a little like a horror movie, with Smallville depicted as the typical small town just before the monster begins its devastation, followed by the attack by BL Kal-L (and an unsurprising assistant) on Superman, Superboy, Krypto and Ma Kent. Considering that the Earth-2 Superman was considered by many to be more powerful, how the living current Kal-El is going to win the fight is a question. It even ties into current Superman events, as another black power ring arrives on New Krypton. Of course, this will lead to complaints such as "How can Superman be doing such-and-such on New Krypton at the same time he's fighting the Black Lantern Superman on Earth?" from continuity sticklers.

Supergirl 44: This is Part 3 of the four-part "Codename: Patriot" storyline. DC is promising that the stories going on in the Super-books regarding New Krypton and the plot by General Lane against Superman will set up something huge in 2010. It's intriguing to imagine what they're planning, considering how entertaining (for the most part) the current plot is. Ral-Dar, the Kryptonian who wounded General Zod, learns that he's a pawn in Lane's plans and escapes, headed to intercept the U.S. President (which, we learn, is exactly what Lane wants). As Superman gives chase, Supergirl and Mon-El go after Nightwing and Flamebird, who are headed towards Metropolis...or are they?

Superman/Batman 63: The world has been taken over by the mind-controlling Gorilla Grodd. The atmosphere is filled with kryptonite, which forced Superman to leave Earth, the other heroes have been eliminated, and only Batman fights on desperately. In other words, it's another issue that completely ignores what's going on currently in the DC Universe. Plus they stole the end from the "Stewie Kills Lois/Lois Kills Stewie" Family Guy episodes.

Superman Annual 14: It tells the story of how Mon-El's home planet of Daxam came to be -- and how Mon-El himself came to be, for that matter. It's interesting if you like Mon-El, I suppose.

Simpsons Comics 157: "Marge's Extreme Make-Under" -- Springfield has been named the ugliest city in America by a magazine and, thanks to the "Eye on Springfield" TV show, Patty and Selma take the brunt of the abuse. So Marge decides to defend their honor by looking more like them. Homer is not happy!

Chris Brown: a dead woman waiting to happen?

Assuming she isn't foolish enough to ever get back with him, Rihanna may have gotten away from Chris Brown just in time. The L.A. Times reports that, according to a probation officer's report filed with the court, Brown was involved in two incidents "related to domestic violence" with Rihanna before his February attack on her the day of the Grammy awards. Neither incident was reported to the authorities.

From the Times:
The first of those incidents occurred in Europe about three months earlier, when Brown and Rihanna were in a “verbal dispute,” the report said. She slapped him, and Brown responded by shoving her into a wall, the report stated.

Just three weeks before the February incident, Brown and Rihanna were in Barbados, driving a Range Rover lent them by a local dealership, when they had an argument in the car. Brown got out and broke both the driver's and front passenger side windows, according to the report. No one was injured.

Brown was sentenced today to five years' probation and 180 days of community labor. TMZ posted the officer's report from the night of the attack, and also reports that, according to probation records, Brown wanted to plead guilty immediately and begin counseling before he started his probation, but his lawyer wouldn't let him...

Brown said when he was growing up he saw violence in his own household and didn't want to "carry on that cycle."

Brown told the probation people he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and wanted to "do it right."

Let's hope so, for the sake of all the women who give him a chance in the future.

Is this what it takes to earn street cred now?

This is one of the stranger celebrity crime cases I've seen in a while. Granted, he's not exactly a household name, but still...

"One Tree Hill" actor Antwon Tanner has pleaded guilty to selling more than a dozen Social Security numbers for $10,000. Tanner told a federal judge in Brooklyn on Friday that he was a middleman, selling numbers someone else provided. He and his lawyer didn't comment on how he got involved in the scheme.

Tanner is expected to get as much as a year in prison at his sentencing, set for Nov. 20.

The 34-year-old actor was charged in April with selling 16 Social Security numbers and three bogus Social Security cards.


I heard about this the other day. Now, reading the article and finding out he's 34? Huh?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Quick Review: The Time Traveler's Wife

On one level, it's amusing that a movie about a man who travels back and forth through time is so unconcerned about the technical aspects of that subject. How does he do it? Apparently it's genetic, but there's nothing more specific. Why does he seem to end up in the same places so often? Why is it that he seems to show up at a different age in his life instead of returning to the point from which he left? He disappears just before his wedding, then returns, except he's older and has some gray hair. At another time his older self leaves and his younger self returns, which conveniently allows for a key plot occurrence that drives the end of the movie. The only answer that matters to the filmmakers is "Who cares?" The sci-fi aspects have to take a backseat to the love affair.

Eric Bana is pretty, and occasionally naked (no frontal views, this is a PG-13 film) since his clothes don't travel through time with him. But the romance is just ridiculous. His wife (Rachel McAdams) first meets him when she's a little girl because he appears in the woods in back of her family's home in one of his time trips. When they first meet as adults, he doesn't recognize her. It was an older version of him, you see. The contrivances are too much. It's also hard to take seriously when, shortly after they marry, she starts whining about how hard it is to live with a man who is always disappearing, and how she didn't have a choice because he kept appearing to her, etc. He then takes advantage of his time travel to do something that, in a way, isn't really different than what Kobe Bryant did when his wife was unhappy after his cheating. Remember, boys: if your wife is unhappy, just pay her off and you'll live happily ever after. My grade: C-minus.

Quick Review: Adam

Hugh Dancy does a fine job as the title character in "Adam," a man with Asperger syndrome, a form of autism. Adam, an electronics engineer whose life is structured, has to deal with a lot of changes, starting with the death of his father (the movie's first scene is set at the funeral). Now living alone, he meets a new neighbor (Rose Byrne), who finds herself interested in him despite his -- at least to her, and really, to many of us -- unusual behavior. Dancy's acting is subtle, not the over-the-top overacting that would have ruined the film. All of the actors deserve credit for this, actually. My grade: B-plus.

Here's an interesting look at the film from the perspective of someone with Asperger's.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Want a paper bill? Pay up!

An insert that was included with the bill for my cell-phone service states that "Starting in September, T-Mobile will begin charging $1.50 per month for receiving a paper bill." It doesn't explain why, exactly. It could be a noble tree-saving effort. More likely, it's just another way to raise revenues.

It goes on to say, "You can still receive your bill electronically for FREE..." Gee, thanks for that! Sooooooo generous! I have an idea: don't bill me at all -- that way we ALL win!

I'm still old-fashioned enough that I like to have a hard copy of some things. The newspaper, for one. I'm willing to read individual articles online but I don't want to read the entire contents of the paper that way. And I would prefer paper copies of my bills, but I'm not going to pay for the privilege.

Oh, those crazy Canadians!

Here's a YouTube video of Adam Lambert, "American Idol" runner-up, having a sex toy thrown at him while singing Led Zeppelin at the Idol tour show in Hamilton, Ontario. Forward to the 2:10 mark if you don't want to listen to the entire song:



See, this is what happens when we Americans try to spread culture amongst the savages in foreign lands. Keep "American Idol" in America, dammit!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Phillies-Mets: The thrill is gone

It's getting late here in August. The Phillies are headed to BrokeBank Field for a four-game series with the Mets. It's a crucial series that will help determine who will win the NL East.

Except, it won't -- at least not for the Mets. The injury bug, shoddy defense and assorted dramas on and off the field have destroyed their season almost before it got started. Going into tomorrow's game the Mets are 14 1/2 games behind the Phils. It's a stunning fall for a team that choked away the division in 2007, responded by acquiring ace starter Johan Santana, lost the division again, responded to that by getting Francisco Rodriguez and J.J. Putz to bolster the bullpen and Gary Sheffield to strengthen the bench, only to see everything fall apart.

I certainly think player injuries are unfortunate, but beyond that, I can't say I'm the slightest bit upset by the Mets' downfall. ;-)

The defending World Series champion Phils, meanwhile, are rolling again. A three-game sweep at home over Arizona puts them at 69-49, a season-high 20 games over .500, and gives them a 6 1/2-game lead over Florida and Atlanta. Pending the outcome of the Dodgers-Cubs game out west, the Phils are now just a half-game behind LA for the best record in the National League. Ryan Howard, as he's done throughout his career, is heating up right in time for the stretch run. The starting pitching has been greatly improved -- in large part because Cliff Lee has been an absolute beast! Check out the stats here. If they can get Brad Lidge straightened out (or replace him...Brett Myers?) they'll really be primed to repeat.

This weekend could have been incredibly tense. The games may still entertain, but it just won't be the same.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Phils: The old man may still have something

Interesting turn of events: a severe thunderstorm caused a one-hour rain delay in tonight's Phillies-Diamondbacks game. This caused Pedro Martinez to be removed from the game, rather than come back after the delay. Martinez had only thrown 38 pitches and allowed just one run, on a solo home run leading off the game.

In to pitch came Jamie Moyer. Moyer was replaced by Martinez in the rotation and, you may recall, wasn't happy about it. He ended up pitching the final 6 innings, allowing no runs or walks and just two hits, as the Phils went on to a 5-1 win. It's the Phils' 6th win in 7 games since being swept by Florida the weekend before last. Moyer took some flak after his comments last week, but heard no boos when he entered the game, and the cheers got louder as he continued to pitch -- and hit (Moyer singled in his first two at-bats).

According to ESPN.com's Jayson Stark, the 46-year-old Moyer became the oldest non-knuckleballer to pitch in relief since someone Hod Lisenbee in 1945.

The Phils maintain their 4 1/2-game lead over Florida and extend the gap to 6 1/2 over Atlanta. They have two more home games against Arizona and then play four at BrokeBank Field against the Mets. With the Mets now 12 1/2 games back, that series has lost a little of its zest.

The $10,000 dog

This is too good not to share. Former major league baseball star Lenny Dykstra, who was touted as a financial whiz but turned out to be much less of a genius than advertised, listed his German shepherd, valued at $10,000, as one of his assets in his recent bankruptcy filing.

In June, on Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel, the former Phillies centerfielder showed a photo of a dog, and said he planned to buy it for $10,000.

"That's a world champion," he said. "That's the only dog I'll buy."

I wonder what the dog's resale value would be?

This Week's Comics 8-12-09

Once again I've procrastinated almost to the point where this has to be renamed Last Week's Comics. I think I was a bit intimidated by the fact that I bought 7 books on Wednesday, and then a trade paperback (or TPB) a couple days later. It was a good week, though. I didn't find much not to enjoy. Since 5 of these books are tied together in 2 separate events, I'm going to lump them together...

Action Comics 880, Superman Secret Files 2009 1 (of 1): The "Secret Files" cover calls the issue a guide to the "Codename: Patriot" crossover. There are plenty of details in the file pages but unless you haven't been reading the Super-books and suddenly want to jump in, it's not a must-read. On the other hand, Part 2 of "Codename: Patriot" (in Action Comics) has all kinds of good stuff, from Superman's return to Earth and a reunion with Lois Lane to a romantic moment for Nightwing and Flamebird that ends badly. Speaking of Super-books...

Adventure Comics 1: This could be an event in itself: a new book starring Superboy, another dead hero now alive again (revived in "Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds"). Conner Kent, cloned from the DNA of both Superman and Lex Luthor, returns to Smallville to live with Ma Kent (and Krypto!) and resume a normal life of a teenaged superhero, whatever that is. This book co-stars, in a separate feature, the Legion of Super-Heroes, with the last page indicating that Superboy and the Legion will get together before long. This book should live up to its title.

Blackest Night 2 (of 8), Blackest Night: Batman 1 (of 3), Green Lantern Corps 39: And we get to the bigger event, at least for now. "Blackest Night 2," in addition to picking up on Black Lantern Martian Manhunter's attack on Barry Allen and Hal Jordan -- which interrupts a nice moment between Gotham police commissioner Gordon and his daughter Barbara (formerly Batgirl, now Oracle) -- we're also, among other things, introduced to Black Lantern Aquaman, whose return has severe consequences for the current king of Atlantis. One moment in this book leads directly into the "Blackest Night: Batman" tie-in, as the new Batman and Robin are investigating the removal of Bruce Wayne's skull when they encounter Deadman, who failed to stop his own body (Deadman's a ghost, you see) from being taken over by a black power ring. Enjoyed both of these a lot. However, since I haven't been reading "Green Lantern Corps" prior to this, some of what goes on in that book is unfamiliar to me, and what is familiar is a rehash, with some extended dialogue, of events depicted in "Blackest Night 1," so this is a book I probably won't buy again as the Blackest Night storyline continues.

Red Robin 3: I wasn't thrilled with the first two issues, and wasn't sure about whether I'd buy this one or not. It turned out to be an improvement. Our hero finds a clue that he's sure can help him find Bruce Wayne. We don't get to see what that clue is, of course, and we still don't know why he's so convinced Bruce is alive. Meanwhile, he's offered assistance in his quest from Ra's al Ghul. Will Tim make a deal with the devil?

Y: The Last Man - Motherland: This is the 9th of 10 TPB collections, so we're nearing the end of the story. Surprises abound for Yorick and crew in Hong Kong, as we learn what (maybe) caused the death of every other male on the planet.

Monday, August 17, 2009

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 8-17-09

What do all of these songs have in common? I have no idea...

If God Will Send His Angels - U2
My True Love - Eurythmics
Faster Kill Pussycat - Oakenfold feat. Brittany Murphy
Reunited - Peaches & Herb
Wish You Were Here - Mark Weigle
She's Not You - Elvis Presley
I Really Didn't Mean It - Luther Vandross
Immigrant - Sade
You - Janet Jackson
Say You're Gonna Stay - Darryl D'Bonneau
Ocean Blue - ABC
El Tango De Roxanne - Ewan McGregor, Jose Feliciano and Jacek Koman
Sing - Annie Lennox

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Are employers lying to me?

Short story: A while back I saw a job listing on Craigslist and sent a resume. I was called a day or two later and was asked to go in for an interview. I thought it went quite well (as I always do). I didn't get the job (as usual). I was told that they'd hold onto my resume because there may be additional openings depending on their budget (this has happened a time or two).

Cut to very recently, when I was looking through Craigslist again and saw another ad from the very same company for the very same job. We're talking no more than three months going by.

Is there any reason to believe that this company (let's just call them Liar & Liar) actually did hold my resume? I assume they didn't. They told me that to be polite or whatever. I'd prefer some honesty -- tell me they want someone with a college degree, or someone who hasn't been out of work recently, or that I actually didn't do well in the interview (despite the flattering comments made during the interview), or something.

I'm getting to the point where I don't want to bother applying for anything. It seems to me I'm not going to be hired unless there's some freak occurrence or unless someone I know calls out of the blue and says "we have a job for you, you start Monday." So why waste my time?

Quick Review: District 9

I was a bit worried about "District 9" from the trailers. They reminded me way too much of the vastly overrated "Cloverfield." Fortunately, this film is a lot better. It begins in a faux-documentary style, explaining that an alien spaceship arrived some 20 years earlier and has been hovering in the sky over Johannesburg ever since. The aliens, given the derogatory name "prawns" because of their appearance, are unable to leave, and now live in a fenced-off section (hence the title of the movie) in utter squalor. A private company is contracted to relocate the aliens to a new camp well outside the city, and things get complicated. The film provides a lot of social commentary. Having the ship hover over South Africa and not New York or DC makes for obvious comparisons to apartheid, for example. However, it works better on a sheer entertainment level. My grade: B-plus.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Paper issues Vick warning on cover!

The front page of today's Philadelphia Daily News...

Eagles, Vick and Hypocrisy

At today's press conference where the Eagles introduced their newest player, dog-killer Michael Vick, the spin -- from Vick, coach Andy Reid, owner Jeffrey Lurie, and Vick's "mentor," former NFL coach/supporter of anti-gay causes Tony Dungy -- has been that Vick deserves a second chance. The phrase "second chance" has been thrown around more often than the excuses people made (and still make) for Vick's dogfighting involvement.

Yet, earlier this year, the Eagles had an opportunity to give one of their own employees, someone who worked for them for six years, someone whose "crime" was much, much less important than those of Vick, a second chance. The Eagles' response, in a nutshell: go to hell.

In March, in a mind-boggling display of incompetent negotiating, penny-pinching, stubbornness and cold-heartedness, the Eagles allowed Brian Dawkins to become a free agent and sign with Denver. Dawkins, although not the player he once was, was still considered the unquestioned leader on defense and the heart and soul of the team.

The Dawkins reaction from the fan base was pretty intense, although it's nothing compared to what's going on right now. One fan, Dan Leone, who worked as a game-day employee for the Eagles, was so incensed that he, like many others, posted an opinion on Facebook: "Dan is [expletive] devastated about Dawkins signing with Denver. . .Dam Eagles R Retarted!!" That posting got him fired within days. This Philadelphia Inquirer column, written shortly after the debacle, tells the story in full.

So, a guy with a physical impairment who was lucky enough to work on game days at the stadium for his favorite team, makes a stupid comment on Facebook and is coldly and swiftly fired. His comment wasn't against the law. It just made the thin-skinned Eagles mad. In their eyes, he doesn't deserve a second chance but someone who spent two years in jail for his involvement in the mistreatment -- and flat-out murder -- of dogs does deserve a second chance.

During the press conference, one reporter actually tried to ask about the treatment of Leone compared to the acceptance of Vick, and was brusquely shut down by Reid. "This press conference is about Michael Vick," he blustered.

Thinking about this hypocritical stance, and so many other issues the Eagles have mishandled over the years -- the Dawkins dismissal, the Terrell Owens circus, calling themselves the "gold standard," the time the Eagles tried to use 9/11(!) as an excuse to ban people from bringing their own food into the then-new Lincoln Financial Field rather than paying outrageous concession prices -- I can only come to one conclusion:

Dam Eagles R Retarted!!

Gee, I hope they don't fire me.

You Asked For It #1: Sex!

Recently I promised to blog about any topic suggested. I thought it was a cute idea, but I've only gotten one request so far. It came from that well-known commentator, Anonymous. Also disappointing is that this person didn't reveal his or her location, as I requested. Oh, well. Here's what Anonymous wants:

"How about blogging about your hot-n-steamy sex life?"


Well, sure. In fact, let's listen in! Here's an audio recording of my hot-n-steamy sex life!

soundboard.com

Or perhaps this is more appropriate:



In other words, I don't have a "hot-n-steamy" sex life. In order for that to even have a chance at happening, I'd need a willing partner. Failing that, I'd need to be a slut who picks up an endless string of tricks at bars or bathhouses or adult theaters or "milking stations." As it happens, I have no partner -- and, alas, I am not a slut.

I did say that you might not like what I wrote about your requested topic, but I'm guessing most of you are actually feeling relief right now. You can reward me for this relief with cash, or by suggesting a topic of your own.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Eagles and Vick: What The...?

When I got home a short while ago, turned on the TV and saw the news on the screen, my initial reaction was to yell "What?" about a dozen times. I'm completely flabbergasted. The Eagles have shocked everyone by signing dog-killer Michael Vick to a one-year contract with an option for a second year. He's been conditionally reinstated by the NFL -- he can play the last two preseason games; once the regular season starts he can participate in all team activities except the games, with a full reinstatement by commissioner Roger Goodell possible no later than Week 6.

I think the opinion of a majority of people is that Vick, having served his sentence for the crimes he committed, ought not be barred forever from playing football. And there were a few rumors about teams that might be interested in signing him because they were desperate for a quarterback and/or eager to use the Vick sideshow to sell tickets. But the Eagles? The EAGLES? With squeaky-clean disciplinarian head coach Andy Reid? A team that went through the craziness of Terrell Owens a few years ago? A team that recommitted itself to Donovan McNabb as their starting quarterback and still considers backup Kevin Kolb as the future QB? A team that sells out every game instantly once tickets go on sale?

I can't imagine what they're thinking. Is Vick going to replace Kolb or, more likely, A.J. Feeley as a backup QB? Is he going to play in the "wildcat" formation that's become so en vogue last year? Is he going to be a wide receiver? Are the Eagles ready for what could be a circus atmosphere at every road game, if not home game? Are they ready for what will undoubtedly be a huge publicity hit?

I just got home a few minutes ago, so I didn't get to see much of the Eagles' first preseason game. The NFL preseason is a monumental bore and a tremendous ripoff for those who are forced to buy tickets as part of a season package, so I wouldn't really have watched or paid close attention at any rate. But after the Vick news, no one is paying attention to that game.

Phils beat Cubs, fans

Be sure to go here and read what I wrote about the beer shower inflicted on Shane Victorino by a piece-of-garbage Chicago Cubs fan. As for the game itself, Pedro Martinez went 5 innings in his first start, allowing 3 runs and 7 hits, with 1 walk and 5 strikeouts. Pretty mediocre, except it didn't much matter as the Phillies scored 8 runs in the 4th to break the game open and eventually won 12-5. The Phils now lead the NL East by 4 1/2 games over both Florida and Atlanta.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Moyer and Lidge

Jamie Moyer told reporters today that he feels "misled" after the Phillies decided to put him in the bullpen. Then he has the nerve to say, "I most certainly do not want to be a distraction." Which is exactly what he's become.

The Phillies signed Pedro Martinez to join the rotation. He would've replaced Rodrigo Lopez, but then they traded for Cliff Lee without having to give up J.A. Happ. That means someone else had to go. Based on performance, it had to be Moyer.

If he's so unhappy that he's been demoted from the rotation BASED ON PERFORMANCE then he should find a way to give back the money the Phillies are obligated to pay him for the next year and two months and leave. Otherwise he should shut the hell up.

Speaking of leaving, Brad Lidge blew yet another save tonight. With each lousy performance it seems less likely that he'll regain his 2008 form. It is beginning to look like Brett Myers will be back with the Phils in September and if so, he should be the closer, not Lidge.

Fortunately, the Phils won 4-3 in 12 on a homer by Ben Francisco. They had just 3 hits all night and still won. Their first 3 runs came on a 2-run homer (after a walk) and a bases-loaded walk (after two walks and a HBP). Highly unusual, to say the least.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Things I learned on Saturday in NYC

1) There's a copy of the LOVE sculpture by Robert Indiana at 55th and 6th Avenue. People were climbing on -- and into -- it, between the V and E -- to get their pictures taken. I think that sucks. (Actually, there are copies in a lot of places. That definitely sucks. There should only be one, and it should only be here.)

2) After waiting in the TKTS line in Times Square for a half-price ticket to the matinee performance of "9 to 5: The Musical," I went to Union Square. There was a farmers' market, with vendors selling all sorts of produce and healthy foods and organic foods and so on. Alas, I did not partake of a healthy treat. When I saw that nearby University Place was closed to traffic with street vendors lined up and down selling all manner of trinkets, I went there -- and discovered one of the most delicious items I've ever tasted: Deep Fried Oreos. I'd never heard of this particular gourmet delicacy before, but then I haven't spent much time at fairs or carnivals recently. You dip the Oreos in batter and drop them in the fryer for a bit, then add the powdered sugar. The crunchy cookie turns soft, almost like cake. Food of the gods, I tell you!

3) I'm not sure how good an idea it was to turn the movie "9 to 5" into a musical. Perhaps it was because I started to tire after having trouble sleeping for two nights in a row, but I wasn't overwhelmed by it. Some of the musical numbers were just average, and if I remember the movie correctly, they made one or two minor changes in the plot that didn't quite sit well with me. It wasn't a bad show, the performers were quite entertaining, but it just all didn't mesh together in a spectacular way. It's closing in September, so unless you want to wait for the national tour, see it now if you're so inclined. (Also, there's an actor named Charlie Pollock who has a small role as the husband of Doralee, the character played by Dolly Parton in the movie. If anyone has a shirtless picture of him, please post it. Yum.)

4) While I was walking along University Place (although I only learned of this later, on one of the electronic boards that scroll headlines) a small plane and a tour helicopter collided over the Hudson River. Both aircraft crashed into the river, killing 9 people. It was the deadliest air crash in New York since November 12, 2001. That morning, 265 people died when an American Airlines flight crashed in Queens shortly after takeoff from JFK Airport -- and I was in New York that day as well. I was up there for the weekend and saw the TV coverage after I woke up to check out of my hotel. It's an eerie coincidence. If it happens one more time while I'm there, I may have to ban myself from the city.

Phillies vote for Pedro

Well, the Phillies have made one sensible decision: Jamie Moyer will go to the bullpen as Pedro Martinez will make his first start on Wednesday night at Wrigley Field. The question is why Pedro is going Wednesday and not Tuesday. J.A. Happ threw 127 pitches in his last start, and perhaps would benefit from an extra day's rest, but he's going on Tuesday, and Cliff Lee is being held back until Thursday, giving him 6 days off between starts. My guess is that ESPN bribed the Phils to hold Pedro until Wednesday, since they are televising the game nationally.

After being swept by Florida over the weekend the Phils' NL East lead is down to 3 1/2 games (since the Marlins won tonight). They continue to struggle at the plate, which is putting more pressure on the pitching staff. Cole Hamels still is floundering and Moyer, well, the fact that he's out of the rotation tells the story. The Phils are fortunate that Lee, Happ and Joe Blanton have pitched so well lately. The bullpen will get help as Chad Durbin is back from the disabled list, but J.C. Romero is going to rest for about a week before throwing again, so he won't be back soon.

Best. Adult. Film. Star. Name. Ever!

I'm not going to post any links or photos or anything NSFW. This is not an x-rated site. However, there's a blog that shows previews of features at gay porn sites, and when I read the name of the newest "actor" at one site, I laughed and laughed.

Girth Brooks.

Friday, August 7, 2009

This Week's Comic Books 8-5-09

There was just one comic on my list this week, but I ended up picking up a trade paperback as well...

Superman: World Of New Krypton 6 (of 12): Beginning a 4-part storyline called "Codename: Patriot," which will run through the Super-books this month. The first seven pages have virtually no dialogue but the art vividly tells the story of the moments immediately after the attack that leaves General Zod, head of New Krypton's military, gravely wounded. The attacker is captured and questioned, and claims he did it to assure the survival of the Kryptonian people. He escapes and heads towards Earth, leading to a familiar, but always welcome, declaration on the last page.

Y: The Last Man - Kimono Dragons: This is the 8th of 10 collections of the 60-issue series which ran from 2002 to 2008. (And yes, I've already read the first seven.) If treated properly, this will make one hell of a movie (or series of movies). A plague suddenly and immediately kills every male mammal on earth, except for one Yorick Brown. And his monkey. The woman-only world falls into chaos. Yorick is, above all, concerned with finding his girlfriend, who was in Australia when the plague struck. But since Yorick and his monkey are keys to the survival of the human race -- because, after all, there are no men to father any children -- the new President orders him, escorted by a government agent, to see a geneticist working to find the plague's cause and what kept Yorick and his monkey alive. There are nefarious forces at work, with their own ideas of what to do with poor Yorick. It's very dramatic but there's also lots of humorous lines. It's also "suggested for mature readers" -- there is a fair amount of bad language and some instances of full-frontal nudity. Even in comic form, always a good thing.

Taking Your Requests!

I was pondering earlier about who is reading this blog. I get the occasional Facebook comments, but they don't really count. ;-) There are almost no comments here on the blog itself. More on that in a moment. But first, speaking of pondering...



Now then, I thought about just begging for comments. Instead, I'm going to take requests. I will blog about any topic you suggest. Anything. No subject is off the table. Just post a comment with your suggested topic or question. I can't guarantee that you'll enjoy what I have to say about your topic. Certain information may not be divulged (I won't, for example, divulge my ATM card's PIN number -- not that you'd get much of anything from my account at any rate). You may not want to suggest I blog about the Phillies, as I do enough of that already. I promise I will absolutely write something, though. The only thing I'd like to know is where in the world you are, whether or not you're Carmen Sandiego.

Quick Review: Julie & Julia

According to Philadelphia Weekly this is the first movie based on a blog. Julie Powell decided to cook each of the 524 recipes in "Mastering The Art Of French Cooking," the first cookbook from Julia Child, in the course of a year and blogged about the process and its effects on her life. The blog became a book, which, along with Child's autobiography, was the basis for "Julie & Julia." So technically, it's not directly based on a blog. No matter. It's lots of fun. The film depicts both post-WWII France -- when Julia Child and her husband Paul, a U.S. diplomat, lived in Paris and Julia learned to cook at famous cooking school Le Cordon Bleu, and began the collaboration that led to that first cookbook -- and 2002 and 2003, when Julie Powell began her project in the tiny Queens apartment she shared with her husband Eric. As the film shifts back and forth, we see how both women's projects develop over time, and how events impact their marriages.

Meryl Streep continues her recent string of performances that are not only fine, but fun, and she and Stanley Tucci, as Julia and Paul, have great chemistry. Amy Adams, as Julie, is also fine, but she seems just a little too nice. At one point, during a rough time with her husband (Chris Messina), she asks her friend, "Am I a bitch?" Julie's friend says yes, and Julie agrees, but the bitchiness isn't really apparent at all. It's a very minor quibble, though. My grade: A-minus.

P.S. Coming soon...well, eventually...to a theater near you: The Joe In Philly Experience: The Movie!

One other Humpday note...

"Humpday" is set in, and was filmed in, Seattle. Ben, the married guy, has some sort of job that involves public transit. He's seen briefly at work, and at one point I spotted this map displayed at the website for SEPTA. The "S" isn't for Seattle. This is the SouthEastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority. I don't know the reason for its placement in the movie.

I mention this because it amused me, and because it gives me the chance to throw out the line that my friend Kurt gave me, even though he's from Pittsburgh and has only lived here for a short time: "Why is it called SEPTA? Because everyone gets home, SEPTA you."

Quick Review: Humpday

I don't know if this qualifies as ironic, but I saw "Humpday" on Wednesday. The movie got some attention at Sundance because of its plot: two straight men decide to make a gay porno and enter it in Humpfest, the annual festival of amateur erotica in Seattle. That brief summary doesn't do it justice. Andrew and Ben are old friends from college who haven't seen each other in 10 years. Andrew, an artist, roams all over the place, while Ben has married and settled into a conventional life. After Andrew unexpectedly shows up at Ben's door, the two reconnect.

At a party given by some of Andrew's bohemian friends, the discussion -- aided by booze and pot -- turns to what type of film would be unique and worthy of Humpfest. Ben (Mark Duplass) and Andrew (Joshua Leonard) decide that if the two of them -- both straight, one married -- had sex on camera, it would not only be unique but a work of art. (Clearly they've never been exposed to the whole "gay-for-pay" porn genre.) The next morning, sobered up, it turns out that neither one really wants to do it but neither one wants to be the one to back out. Then there's the issue of what to tell Ben's wife Anna (Alycia Delmore).

I shudder to think what a big studio would do with this premise, if they dared to make the film at all. But "Humpday" plays quite nicely with the idea. The interplay between Duplass, Leonard and Delmore is enjoyable, and whether or not the two friends actually do the deed becomes secondary to the dance that leads up to it. My grade: A-minus.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The "(500) Days Of Summer" stars dance!

I thought this was really cute. The stars of "(500) Days Of Summer," Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, in a music video for "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" by She & Him -- the "She" is Deschanel, from EW.com's PopWatch blog:

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Phillies: Save Happ's Job!

J.A. Happ may be taken out of the Phillies' starting rotation, but he made his case tonight -- as he has all season, really -- to reverse that decision, with a complete-game shutout. Happ gave up just 4 hits and walked 2, striking out 10 in the Phils' 7-0 win over Colorado.

Everyone seems to think that when Pedro Martinez is activated he'll be a starter, and no one seems to think Jamie Moyer can pitch out of the bullpen. Martinez has to prove that he can consistently go 6 or more innings without wearing down -- tonight in a rehab start in the minors he allowed 1 run through 5 innings, then gave up 3 in the 6th, though he walked none and struck out 11 -- or else he shouldn't be given a starting job. He's had a stellar career but he's not the pitcher he once was. Just because he started most of his career doesn't mean he's one of the top 5 starters now on this team.

As I said, people seem to think Moyer won't adjust well to the bullpen. He's 46 years old and did pitch in relief in the past. There's no reason he can't do it again. He can't do any worse from the bullpen than he has as a starter this year. Moyer's contract of $8 million per year for this year and next shouldn't be a factor.

Going strictly by performance, the decision is easy. Happ has outpitched Moyer this year by far. It would be a disgrace to send Happ to the bullpen.

Exciting 76ers news....zzzzzzzz....

This is more of a commentary on how little I care about professional basketball. From Philly.com:

The 76ers have reached an agreement in principle to sign veteran center Primoz Brezec, according to multiple sources. The deal is supposedly for one year at the minimum for a player with seven seasons of service in the NBA. The 7-1 Brezec, 29, is expected to come to Philadelphia sometime next week. He is currently playing with the Slovenian National Team. Brezec spent last season in Italy after logging time with the Indiana Pacers, the Charlotte Bobcats, the Detroit Pistons and the Toronto Raptors.

Yeah, this move will sell those season ticket plans soooooo fast! This Primoz fellow supposedly has 7 season in the NBA. I can honestly say I've never heard of him and have no idea who he is. If anyone actually knows him, let me know. I'd bet that diehard NBA fanatics have never heard of him, unless they're fans of the teams he's played for.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The T.O. Show: FAIL

First he had to sign with the Bills because no other team wanted him. Now, it seems that "The T.O. Show," the VH1 "reality" crapfest starring the NFL's biggest diva, Terrell Owens, isn't exactly a ratings hit. According to the Sports Business Journal, the show "wound up tied for the 798th-highest-rated cable show of the week with, among others, a 5 a.m. airing of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' on Nick at Nite."

More people want to watch a sitcom starring Will Smith before he became the biggest movie star on the planet -- at 5 in the morning, no less -- than want to sit and watch the infamous T.O. throw another quarterback under the bus, or whatever it is he's doing on the show.

Can't wait for that episode in which lake-effect snow buries Buffalo and he can't get out of his house. Oh, the hilarity!

The Mobile Panhandler

The other day I was leaving Franklin Mills Mall and decided to stop at Wendy's for lunch. As I'm headed towards the door I hear a voice from behind me. "Excuse me, can you buy me something to eat?" I turn around and the man asking me to buy him something...is sitting on a bicycle.

My first thought was: if you have a bike but don't have money for food, might I suggest you sell the bike and get some cash? Now that I think of it, though, he should keep the bike. That way he can go from restaurant to restaurant and get some variety in his diet -- at least as long as people buy him food in more than one location.

It reminded me of the panhandler I encountered back in June on the Market-Frankford line (for you non-locals, we call it "The El") on my way to a ballgame. He was walking car-to-car asking for change. When he got to me I told him "no, sorry" and turned away. He stood there waiting, then mumbled something, and as I continued sitting there him he called me ignorant. I said, "What? I told you I don't have any change. Sorry." "No you're not." Then he said something else like "I could just stand here" as he kept standing in the aisle by me. I told him "I could call the cops" and he said if he had a phone he would hand it to me to call them. What finally got him to leave me alone was my reply: "If you had a phone you wouldn't need to ask for change, would you?"

Monday, August 3, 2009

Eagle victim of Sexy Single Jinx?

Eagles linebacker Stewart Bradley, one of the Philadelphia Daily News Sexy Singles of 2009, hurt a knee at last night's "Flight Night" practice at the Linc. He suffered a torn anterior cruciate ligament and will miss the entire 2009 season.

I'm sure this wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been too busy being sexy and all.

My iTunes Shuffle Baker's Dozen 8-3-09

First one for the Dog Days of August...I know you're as excited as I am...

Do You Really Want To Know - George Michael
Van Diemen's Land - U2
Seduction's Theme - Seduction
It's Love - Jill Scott
YMCA - Village People
Wishin' And Hopin' - Dusty Springfield
Hush, Hush, Hush - Paula Cole
Century Plant 2000 - Geggy Tah
The Cowboy Song - Sting
Night Fever - Bee Gees
Nothing But Heartaches - Diana Ross & The Supremes
Information Overload - Living Colour
Divas Need Love Too - Klymaxx

Phils slumping before Gay Night

The Phillies finished their western swing with a 3-4 record, losing 4 of the last 5. Cliff Lee's complete game victory Friday in his Phils debut was their only win in four games at San Francisco; they played two sloppy games mid-week and didn't hit much with runners in scoring position the entire road trip. One night after 2008 AL Cy Young winner Lee shut down the Giants, his NL counterpart, Tim Lincecum, stymied the Phils. Cole Hamels was smacked around again in the series finale. It seemed he was getting his act together, but...still, the Phils lead the NL East by 5 games. No reason to push any panic buttons just yet.

Their first game back home is Tuesday, and it's the 7th Annual Gay Community Night. The Phils lost the first five Gay Nights before finally breaking through last year; perhaps that was a precursor to their eventual championship. Sadly, I won't be there on Tuesday unless someone has a ticket for me. The game is sold out. So, let's take a trip down memory lane with the article I wrote for Outsports after the first GCN in 2003 -- the only one held at the Vet.

This Week's Comic Books 7-29-09

Once again my procrastination causes me to risk having to title this post Last Week's Comic Books. Fortunately, there are only two...

Detective Comics 855: Continuing the arc in which Batwoman continues her war against the "Cult of Crime" that tried to murder her (that was in the "52" weekly series) and its new leader, Alice -- as in "...in Wonderland" -- really! Well, at least in her words and costume...and, for all we know, her mind... There is a backup feature running in some of the DC series. In this one it stars The Question, who is now ex-Gotham cop Renee Montoya. She is also Batwoman's ex, so you know at some point there will be interaction.

Superman 690: Okay, this is really annoying. Not only is Superman not in the book, but neither is Mon-El, who is supposed to be the temporary lead character. There are five different subplots touched on, some in as little as one or two pages with a note saying "To Be Continued In (insert title of another book)." While they may be important, I found some of them took away from the major chain of events going on in all of the Super-books.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Quick Review: Funny People

This movie needs some lithium, stat. "Funny People," the latest from Judd Apatow, swings back and forth from a depressing story about a standup comic/movie star who learns he has a serious blood disease that will likely take his life within a year, to the more typical Apatow raunchfest with guys behaving badly, lots of sex jokes, etc. Adam Sandler plays the star; on the surface his life seems great, but he isn't close to his family and has no real friends. He hires a struggling comic (Seth Rogen, who lost some weight -- specifically for the movie, as the weight loss is referenced, or just because?) as a combination personal assistant/joke writer/opening act. The funny parts are fine, it's well-acted and there are some amusing cameo appearances, but the switches in tone are jarring, and it runs a little too long. My grade: C-plus.